Chapter 12 - Let Our Spirits Guide You

In a ceremonial lodge Hiroshi and Yuki knelt on their knees, stripped of clothing and listened quietly to passages of purity with their heads bowed before a godly shrine. Hikaru Nakano, Papa Uesugi and his young son Tatsuha were cleansing their souls by ritual prayers and songs, and their bodies washed with uva ursi—a leaf of a plant that is normally used to treat urinary tract infections. But today it was being used to ward off the bad karma and evil wandering spirits that Hiro and Yuki might be attracting.

They'd defied the gods…

No one but the clan leaders or spiritual clan folk were allowed to partake in this. Surprisingly, the offer was given to K, since both clans noted his position—even as an outsider chief. It was their hope to make the foreign clan understand their ways. At first Hikaru had a fit, he didn't trust the Winchester chief, the man that stole his son away and was probably the cause of Hiro missing the ceremony. But then he realized this might be a good lesson for the man not to meddle with his son again. Hikaru wasn't totally convinced that K, whom he found out was called Claude, wasn't a malevolent spirit himself.

A man appearing on this land like a white demon...

Outside the lodge the entire Uesugi and Nakano clan was busy doing things that would cure them of any ill will by their gods. Fine lines of sand ground together with figwort to make it red, got placed in front of the cave and home entrances, smelly spices and herbs were burned to eradicate bad omens.

On top of all this, gossip ran rampant throughout. About how incredibly adaptable the Winchester clan was to everything and the Uesugi's and Nakano's to them as well. They appeared to have their own beliefs too. But all three clans stayed relatively within their own area, with their own people. A few mingled with other clan members, but for now everything was kosher keeping a little distance on the large strap of land they now all occupied.

But in the darkness of one earthen home, K sat among the other chiefs with a grim look on his face. He'd seen rituals of punishment and repentance before, but this—this was madness, this was his fault. After all the jubilation of finding his clan again, he was given dismal information that Hiroshi and Yuki were to be part of some horrid practice. He understood enough of their language to understand a little of what was to take place. An unbelievably awful feat! It made K's stomach twist with guilt. Poor Hiroshi, how could they do this to him? He'd found out that Hiro and Yuki were both supposed to had their rites and were supposed to be have been mated with chosen females. And that the event was only supposed to take place in the last week of spring under a full moon.

And they'd both missed it. It was an act that went against everything their clan believed in and their fathers were very, very angry.

Still how interesting, K thought, he'd never considered the significance of spring and rites before, nor would he have thought the moon so important either. But after hearing it, he could sort of understand Hikaru's and Papa Uesugi's distress, breaking away from the order of things never settled well with anyone. What he didn't understand though where all these names of their gods, Gaia, Kiyoshi and many other names that he couldn't remember. Slowly he was realising that these people worshiped a lot of gods…but to him there would only be one. Also, he noticed they did not worship the female like he did…instead all their gods seemed to have no gender at all. Of what carvings, drawings and symbolisms he saw, they were asexual looking figures. And among the people he saw males being sought by females, males seeking males and females with other females! He was sure Aurora's influence here was strong. Sex here was abundant! It was hard to go anywhere without seeing it. And the Uesugi's and Nakano's did things he'd never seen before! Like yesterday when he'd wandered across two males penetrating one woman…he had to take a moment to figure out how they did that. But he watched incredulously as the woman cried out in delight!

The other day the Uesugi member, Tatsuha, told him—painstakingly since K didn't understand him that well—that women taught them how to be better mates, so that when a couple had their rites they would be granted a child between them. He told him how people, even though mated, were still able to have liberties with anyone they pleased. It wasn't so unlike his clan but then Tatsuha had told him that the male essence was the pinnacle of their survival. That it was important a male pair with a female—under the blessings of Kiyoshi at the springs—at least once in their lifetime. Hmm, this was the one thing that was completely opposite from his beliefs K noticed. For his clan the pinnacle of survival was the mother, the female. He almost wanted to laugh at Tatsuha over this, a man never ran out of essence. But a woman…a woman could create a whole new life only until the day Aurora took away her gift.

But Tatsuha's explanation made K wonder; could a man possibly help create or give a woman that life even if Aurora had not made it so during the rites? Either way, it was interesting in what this culture believed, and they protected this belief very seriously as well.

He didn't know how serious until he heard whimpers of pain come from Hiro, K caught eye of a sharp piece of flint being dragged over his left palm. Blood seeped from the wound and dripped to the ground, and then the same was done to Yuki. K grit his teeth and shut his eyes as if he could feel their pain, he wanted to yell 'stop!' But Hiro had made him promise earlier that he would not interrupt no matter what took place. Why would Hiro say that?! Did Hiro believe he deserved this? He could understand that they'd done wrong, but this seemed so extreme! K watched Hiro helplessly, this was too cruel! He didn't want to watch anymore of this.

But he didn't want to leave Hiro alone…

Suddenly all the chanting stopped and everyone began to get up; K snapped open his eyes and followed them out of the lodge and into the evening, where the sun was notably beginning to set. Around them others bared torches and followed them to a path that led into the woods. Judy and Ark were there, many of them came to wish Yuki and Hiro well. They walked mostly in silence a long while, far along a river shore—ahead of them the maw of the Hotaka Mountain awaited. Its base lush with green and its peak white with snow. Even in the early beginnings of summer.

Without being allowed to say a word to Hiro or Yuki, K watched in dire silence as both men were cast off into the dense thicket.

Naked.

With no food.

With no water.

As it got much darker people began to leave, all hushed with the pensive feeling that hung in the air. But Hikaru watched K, watched as the man stood looking detached. Hrmph, he walked over to K boldly and said, "Understand that this is our way…they will learn what they've done wrong. And they will remember what is important." With that he walked away followed by his mate—Hiro's mother sobbing endlessly.

K pretended not to acknowledge Hiro's father and had simply listened to him talk, but now he shifted his eyes and watched him walk away. He felt as if somehow there was a hint in his speech to him. A hint to stay away from Hiro…why would he do that? What harm could he possibly bring to Hiro? He didn't understand...maybe the man didn't trust him?

…maybe it was because he was not one of them…

Judy came over and touched his arm. K barely acknowledged her either. "Claude, he'll be alright. We've been on journeys as a cold and cruel as theirs…he'll return you'll see. Don't beat yourself up…it isn't your fault."

This time K looked down at his mate sadly. "I didn't understand that Hiro and Yuki both needed to come home for their rites. Had I known, I would have insisted I look for my clan alone. Why did Hiro sacrifice himself when he knew something like this could happen to him…Yuki as well? Why didn't he tell me about how important this ceremony was?" K questioned her.

"This is their way…their life. We can not intervene, this is not our place." Judy sighed, "It doesn't seem to me that they are only being sent up there for repentance…but punishment. Come on…let's go back too; I've missed you so much. Mother and father have made us supper." She touched K's arm to urge him along.

"No!" K said loudly yanking his arm away, "I can't leave him here alone…Hiro's done so much for me." He means so much… But K softened and closed his eyes, "I'm sorry, I just can't leave…if he should be punished than I should be here with him. Please understand?"

Curious over Claude's demeanour, Judy got on her toes to place a kiss on her mates cheek. "Ok," she whispered. "But I want you to know I'm happy you're home..." She dropped back to her feet and sighed at her mate's lack of affection. Judy walked off and caught up with Ark who waited for her. "He says he's not coming," she told him and started back for the camp.

Ark cast a look back at his friend, who in his eyes changed so much. They'd have to talk, but now wasn't the time. He caught up to Judy and took her hand.

Close by and crouched behind a tree in silent tears, hiding from everyone, rest Shuichi. He saw the K was still here and he heard the man speak in a foreign language.

"I will be here when you return Hiroshi…you will return…you will…" K promised his eyes still steadied on the edge of the forest.

Slowly Shuichi came out to join K on the river shore. The blonde glanced over at Shuichi who'd joined him by the river wordlessly.

Both stared off into the blackening slope of the mountain.

At first Hiro and Yuki didn't utter a word to each other and simply trudged on. Hours of walking in the dark caused a lot of tripping and stepping on sharp objects. Their feet got lacerated—the only sound was from them groaning from pain and displeasure. Not allowed to use, pick up, or find any kinds of weapons, they kept their ears open for any signs of wildlife, especially bears. They panted in fear at times when they thought they heard something, a twig snap or a distant shrill. But both knew travelling by night was best, it was cooler and they would use less water…since they had no water and were not allowed to gather any.

The 'no food no water' rule came with the fact that they would fail this task immediately if they found and consumed these sources. All they were allowed was their body and spirit to guide and protect them. Hiro had to hope that neither of their hand wounds would infect or drip onto the ground. What would happen if an animal picked up the scent of fresh blood? Hiro clasped his cut hand closed tight and urged Yuki to do the same.

By the peak of the first dawn, Hiro spoke up.

"I'm sorry that I got you into this mess."

Yuki looked over at Hiro almost incredulously. "Give me a break."

Eh? Hiro looked over at Yuki with a frown, "Look, just take the apology and don't be a jerk about it."

The blonde scoffed, "I'm not blaming you and you don't owe me an apology."

Hiro chewed on that for a moment and stepped over a fallen tree. "You know, I knew I was going to get in trouble…but, I didn't think father would go this far. Why is he so angry? Do you really think we upset the gods?"

Yuki laid amber eyes on Hiro this time, his arms holding himself as the temperature dropped ever so slowly. "We're always upsetting the gods," he muttered dryly. "Tell me Hiro, why do our chiefs choose our mates? Is it so hard to do it on our own?"

That was a question he didn't expect, Hiro thought about it first. It was something he'd wondered himself, why didn't they just let nature take its course? There were plenty of people; it wasn't like they wouldn't keep populating. But then it was a gift from the gods, to be mated and promised a child. Hiro sighed, "I think they worry that our kind will die off if we don't…that we won't appease the gods if we don't follow customs. Maybe they just don't know how to do anything different…and, it scares them."

"That's stupid."

Hiro had to smile over that. "Yeah maybe it is. You know plenty of children are born without rites. It makes me wonder sometimes…"

"You dare challenge your gods Hiro?

"Is that sinful? I really do deserve to be here don't I?" Hiro claimed tiredly.

Yuki actually chuckled. "You are a man with a brown nose…daddy's boy. I think any living being questions their beliefs. Personally I hate them sometimes."

Hiro looked sore from being called a 'man with a brown nose'.

"Get over it," Yuki urged.

"Sometimes…I hate them too..."

There was silence after that and the day moved on, changing to night once again. The air got colder and the stars shone high above the tree tops. Hiro's hand throbbed in pain; it was the only thing that kept him going without sleeping for his second night. His eyes swam in his head with fatigue and he stumbled until he fell hard to his knees, panting for air.

"I can't…no more..." Hiro moaned and wrapped his arms around himself.

Yuki knelt next to him, his breath coming fast too. "Let's rest," he pleaded and huddled closely to keep in some warmth.

In pure exhaustion they fell into a fitful sleep.

Down at the bottom of the mountain K and Shuichi slept back to back in a sitting position—never leaving the area once. Both refused to go anywhere and wouldn't listen to their family and friends that came to visit and share their worries and leave tokens that were supposed to help guide Hiro and Eiri.

After awhile everyone gave up on them returning back to camp.

Shuichi began to snore softly and K's eyes jerked open. He scanned the tree line immediately but sighed and closed his eyes again—there was still no Hiro or Yuki. K began to dream, he smiled as he entered that place on the riverbank…there was Hiro fishing once more. The sun was vibrant and warm and this time Hiro looked back and waved, laughing, as he called him over. Only this time K approached the man as if he were walking on four legs…

In the freshness of the morning hour, a ghastly squabble between two wild creatures was taking place. Growling for full effect, the smaller creature did it's best to ward off a mangy bear from the two sleeping humans. Teeth bared with lethal snarling, promised the large bear a bite that would cause a lot of pain if it were to come any closer. The bear had already delivered a swat in annoyance at the other beast, but still that didn't deter it. Eventually the bear gave up and wandered away, off to locate another source of food. Now quiet in the empty forest, the creature let out a series of yips and whines, as if it were talking or pleading. It sniffed along a young man's ear and ran a warm tongue repeatedly over his face gently and without malice.

Hiro's eyes fluttered open slowly; he shivered and wiped at his face. He immediately tried to re-warm himself and clung to Yuki's body tighter. He closed his eyes again and moaned with soreness, utterly miserable. But the furry muzzle of something wild nudged at him again and this time Hiro registered a soft tongue licking his face. He cracked open his eyes and cried out in shock, he scrambled back from a grey wolf! His heart hammered in his chest and Yuki was startled awake too.

"Get outta here!" Yuki yelled at the wolf and threw a stick at it.

The animal ran off.

Catching his breath, Hiro got to his aching feet and looked at Yuki with wonder. Could that have been? Hiro touched his wet cheek. "K…?"

Yuki muttered irritable things and urged them to continue. They walked again in silence for hours. "Look we're almost at the top now," Yuki puffed, out of breath.

The air was thinner up here.

It was true. Their feet walked over frosty ground and soon over frost covered ledges. With every fibre of their being they got to the top and once there…

Yuki screamed out his torment loudly, completely distant from himself.

Hiro understood…no man could be himself up here.

Thirsty and hungry, tired, cold and in pain, Hiro knew alright…he began to cry. Such was a place that brought grown men to tears. A place raw with nature that was so cold and unrelenting, a place that didn't care if one lived or died. The gods lived in such places and it was here that they could ask for forgiveness directly.

And both men did so in their own way. Both could swear they could hear their god's voice at this point. They finished quickly too, not wanting to hang around the icy coldness at the top of the mountain.

For one, they still had to get back down.

But as Hiro and Yuki gathered themselves and did, they looked at each other much differently now. Both had just bared their souls in front of each other. Their egos were brought down a whole bunch of notches…there was nothing left to hide.

"Can a man love just one person…one person forever?" Yuki asked his face drained of colour, the spark in his eyes gone.

Staring straight ahead and talking with no emotion Hiro replied, "To only love one person…to only pleasure one person, forever?"

Yuki nodded.

Hiro's teeth began to chatter, "I imagine they would be the ultimate mate…a spirit mate. I think it's possible. Do you love someone that could be such a mate Yuki?"

"You mean a soul mate?" The man stopped and rubbed his hands up and down his arms for warmth, "You know he was the one that started calling me Yuki. Ever since childhood…years ago."

A tired smiled crossed Hiro's lips. "Shuichi…" he whispered. Hiro urged Yuki to keep walking when he noticed the man's eyes trying to close shut.

"Yes…my Shuichi," Yuki said so quietly. "Will you learn to love Ayaka Hiro?"

Hiro sighed, "Maybe I haven't given her a chance. All father wants is for me to make heirs…but I know my heart belongs to someone already."

"That…cannibal," said Yuki cheekily.

Hiro scoffed. It seemed as if he'd misjudged Yuki somehow, Hiro thought and put an arm around the other man for support and warmth. Yuki didn't argue and wrapped his own arm around Hiro's waist. What surprised Hiro the most was even at a time like this Yuki could joke, amazing.

"Heh, yeah…I love him. I've never felt this way about anyone before," Hiro replied, "But he's got a mate, she's also pregnant."

"So what?" Yuki muttered, "Doesn't mean you can't love each other…you both shared pleasures, he wasn't stopping you. Was he?"

"No…"

"So our clan still has pleasures with other people even if we're mated…maybe K loves you too," Yuki offered having lost all his inhibitions.

Teeth chattering again, Hiro thought about that. "What if it's against his clan's custom?"

Yuki groaned, "Didn't I just say he wasn't stopping it? If he was, then maybe you'd be right."

They continued slowly making their way down the slope but Yuki stopped again, this time slumping against Hiro and into a heap on the ground. Hiro bent down to him and shook Yuki, urging him to wake up. He leaned over his mouth and sighed thankfully when he felt the man's breath on his face.

They needed to rest…he needed to warm Yuki up.

Hiro dragged Yuki into a niche next to a large tree. The wood was warm and kept the breeze off of them. Resting Yuki against the trunk, Hiro straddled over his naked lap and wrapped the fellow man up in his arms and legs to share his body heat. But Yuki's words went through his mind, Hiro thought of K. Was he a spirit mate? Even if K had a mate, it didn't mean he wasn't his meant-to-be spirit mate…even if he had his rites with Ayaka. After all those dreams, K's mammoth-and-wolf tale from his childhood…the wolf by the riverbank, the one that appeared here on the mountain—spirit mates.

Why hadn't he seen this before…?

Resting his head and burying his face at Yuki's neck, he gazed off into the distance. Watching as the glowing eyes of a wolf stared back at him...

"It's been four days," Shuichi voiced as if his heart had broken in two. He picked up a rock and threw it into the river with a sad plop. "If they die I will never forgive Hikaru and Papa, never."

K glanced over at Shuichi and spoke in his language shabbily, "They be here…me know it."

"I still don't know why you wouldn't agree with me to share their pain and not eat and drink until they return," Shuichi wondered again.

Sighing at how fast Shuichi talked, K felt lucky that he understood and replied, "I tell you strength for Hiro…Yuki. They need our help." K swatted away some annoying mosquitoes and black flies and paced about, eyes always watching the tree line.

Shuichi scratched his head and looked nervously at K, "Why are you so…I dunno, here? I mean Yuuji offered to take over and…well, you could go back to your mate." He'd begun to wonder about K's determination.

Taken back by Shuichi's bold question, K simply stared at him. "I owe Hiro. He took care of me…now my turn."

"Do you love Hiroshi?" Shuichi came out simply and asked. "You know in the way I love Yuki? I love him even though I know now that he was meant to have his rites with Sakura. I'm not sure why he had to hide it from me…but you know, inside I really don't want to share him with anybody," Shuichi revealed. "Hiro can still love you, pleasure you," he purred then. "Even if he's mated you know. Does it work that way with your clan?"

K titled his head at the question, he didn't fully understand it. "Love? This new word?"

Shuichi sighed. "How could you not have learned the best word in our language yet?" He rolled his eyes. "Loooove! It's the feeling in your heart." Shuichi sang and pointed at K's bare chest. "Love…" Shuichi whispered across K's ear. "Pleasures to show love, gifts to prove love…happiness inside of here all the time," he went on, placing his hand over his own heart. Shuichi's eyes began to well with tears then and he clung to K as droplets landed on the blonde's arm. "You'd die for your love." Suddenly he scrambled away and went calling for Yuki again.

K tried to decipher all Shuichi's talk of 'love'. Pleasure was love? Love was in his heart? What a strange word, he didn't really understand what Shuichi meant. But part of him wanted to call out Hiro's name alongside Shuichi. Maybe that was love? All K knew was, was that he felt empty without Hiro. "Do you love Hiro?"

Oh!

Wait!

Finally, K got what Shuichi was saying! If pleasure was 'love' and 'love' was in his heart, then Hiroshi was 'love' too. Oh yes, he understood the meaning of the word now! And he knew without a doubt he loved Hiroshi very much.

Sunlight filtered through the trees and landed on the two men huddled together on the forest floor. It gave them the last bit of warmth, just enough to awaken their tired, dehydrated starving bodies. At first Yuki opened his eyes, he had no power in him to shove off the brunette…truly though he clung on too, he would never forget Hiro for this. But as he stared off grimly at nothing in particular a butterfly floated nearby. It danced in the sunlight and Yuki would have shed a tear if he could, Shuichi's spirit. Numbly he lifted a hand and held out a finger and watched the colourful blue and yellow butterfly land on it.

The gods were surely here and they had forgiven them, he thought. They must, because if not they would just let them die here. "Papa you're wrong…you're wrong," he muttered, "the gods are not angry with me…they never were."

Hiro stirred at the sound of Yuki's voice, lifting his head and acknowledging the sunlight wearily. He groaned, "We have to finish this…" he shivered, "c-come on, let's go."

Yuki watched the butterfly take off and felt that last bit of drive to continue. Without a word he pushed himself up after Hiro stood and pressed himself forward. Together they continued their journey that seemed like it would never end.

Inside Hiro had no strength left to talk, only to keep his eyes levelled ahead and forced his feet to move. So tired, he stumbled a few times and Yuki helped him up. At least the temperature rose the further they went down, but it made the urge to fall to the ground and sleeping forever harder to ignore. The warmth was lulling, comforting, and they heard the whispers of death promising them peace.

Even when they had come to the bottom, actually successfully returning, both didn't even realize it. They just stumbled out of the forest, wearily.

"K! Look!" Shuichi cried and pointed to the place where Hiro and Yuki finally emerged. Even as they ran over to them, both men sagged to their knees in exhaustion.

Shuichi cried out in fear.

K sighed at the sight before him…both men so utterly torn looking. They seemed to be hanging on only by a thread. He swallowed the lump in his throat, buried his anger and knelt tossing both men over his shoulders. K stood with the extra weight, "Come on Shuichi, this, is as far as they go…we need to hurry back," he urged.

Shuichi followed; thanking Gaia that K was strong enough to carry them both. They rushed back to the camp, worried that Hiro and Yuki were going to breathe their last breath.

Back in front of the cave Hikaru watched in astonishment as the blonde Winchester chief returned with his son and Uesugi's son over his shoulder. His first thought was to go ream out the man for interfering and he actually took a step until someone grabbed him by his arm.

"Oh, no you don't!" Cho barked at her stubborn partner. "You would rather lose your son, because you fear that foreigner?! He is simply returning Hiroshi and Eiri, you know that as well as I do, he did not interfere. Remember Hikaru, men that act blindly have lost their focus." With that she brushed past him in haste and ran off to attend to her sick child.

The chief sighed.

A/N: Poor Hiro and Yuki...I'm sorry guys! I promise I'll write you all happy soon XD I'm trying to write this in a mature way, instead of the crazy fangirl way. It's REALLY hard at times :P But this and the next few chappies introduce some new plot and develops new things to come. I.e Ayaka and Judy and her baby. Although it's not overly dramatic and just tells story..teee it's fun. But all the politics that comes with relationships..especially ones in a prehistoric time like this.. gah rips out hair lol Naw.. I enjoy thinking up this crap lol

Reviewers:

the2evils: Weee hun! Thanks so much! -squishes- It will get better I promise!

Dancing Coconuts: -huggles- your comments are so awesome thank you! I'm very glad you sensed the more mature theme, even as a fangirl it can be hard to keep it cool lol. But I imagine that K would react this way...it he didn't the story would be over XD But yeah I hoped you liked this part, even if it was angst...it revealed a lot of lurve :P

Chocho: Aww I'm so happy that you're enjoying this fic. It's only written to entertain myself and hopefully people like you I can share it with. So your comment is a big compliment! -snugs- I know I feel bad for Hiro and Shu too, but don't worry they're tough and they will get what the want.. no girl will stand in their way:P