Tears of an Angel
Edward's POV of when he thought Bella was dead in New Moon. My first songfic.
One shot! Should try reading it while song plays. "Tears of an Angel" by RyanDan.
It has been over 4 months that I had left my angel in those woods- left her for good. I felt as though I was a completely empty shell. I haven't come out of my room at all, not even to hunt. I would rather wither away then let the thing that made me leave her dominant.
I had left my family not that long ago. My choice and misery was bringing everyone down. Alice refused to talk to me anymore, Jasper couldn't stand being near me and my emotions, Emmett wouldn't make anymore jokes, and Carlisle and Esme acted as though they lost a daughter and in my case a son.
Even Rosalie felt somewhat bad. Of course she was glad that I had stopped hanging around a human girl- one who could have everything Rosalie envied but wanted to throw it away to be with me-, but she hated how she treated Bella.
Bella. Every time that I even think of her name, I feel as though someone is stabbing my non-beating heart with the sharpest knife imaginable.
The look on her face when I had told her that I didn't want her was gut wrenching. Her entire body froze up and her eyes were filled with so much pain, it took all my strength not to wrap my arms around her in comfort. After every time I told her I loved her, how could she believe that I didn't love her?
But it was best for her. No worries about her boyfriend fighting with himself to not turn her into his next meal. She could live on and have a normal life- get married, have children, watch them grow up and have their own families- something that I could never give her. But I was willing to throw away my own happiness- my everything- so she could be safe.
Well, I thought that I was strong enough to stay away from my beautiful angel, but I was weak. I couldn't stand not being without the one person that I would ever love in my eternal existence. I had only recently decided that I was going back to Forks, to see Bella, to beg her forgiveness if I had to- as long as she would take me back, I'd feel whole again. That's when it happened.
My phone began to ring. Normally, I would completely ignore it because I knew my family was trying to make me come back to them, but when I saw the name "Rosalie" on the id number, I decided to answer.
"Hello?" I said. My voice was so coarse from the restraint of speaking.
"Edward." That was what really caught my attention. Not the word, but how it was said. There was so much pain lacing the simple word that only a fool could have missed it.
"What is it?"
"It's Bella," my dead heart shattered at her next words. "She's dead. Alice had a vision of her. Bella committed suicide. She jumped off a cliff. Edward, I'm so sorry!"
She may have continued talking, but I didn't catch what she might have said. My entire body began to tremble. Me- a vampire that has seen so much and has killed many humans and once a vampire- was trembling because of 2 words.
'She's dead'?! My sweet, soft, and fragile Bella was dead? I couldn't think straight. I slid down the wall of my room to my knees after I hung up the phone.
Bella's dead? Suicide? But why would she kill herself? Why would she end her life?
Because you told her that you didn't care about her the same anymore. That you were tired of pretending to be something that you're not. That you left her a voice rang in the back of my head. I realized that the voice was right. I did tell her that I didn't want her anymore and I was tired of being something else. I did leave her.
Did my words hurt her that much? That she would end everything that I wanted her to have? One word entered my head: Yes.
I don't know how long I sat there, still as a statue and as dead as one too, but the sky was dark when I finally moved after so long.
I know that Bella had made me promised that I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself if anything had happened to her, but I bet at the time she thought that we'd still be together and I might have turned her. How I wished that I had done so when I had the chance.
I walked out of the small house that I owned and walked to my Volvo. I got in and I drove out of the parking lot onto the road. I reached down and turned on the radio.
"And here is 'Tears of an Angel' by RyanDan."
Cover my eyes
Cover my ears
Tell me these words are a lie
It can't be true
That I'm losing you
The sun cannot fall from the sky
Yes, tell me that it was all just a lie- one big, sick, twisted joke on my expense. It can't be true that after finally working up the courage to go back, I've lost you- the only light in my dark life.
Can you hear heaven cry?
Tears of an angel
Tears of aaaaaaaa...
Tears of an angel
Tears of an angel.
The sky had clouded over and droplets of water were falling from the skies. Were they tears from Bella? Was she looking down on me and knew what I was planning on doing? Was she crying for me? I hope so.
Stop every clock
Stars are in shock
The river will flow to the sea
I won't let you fly
I won't say goodbye
I won't let you slip away from me
I wanted the world to end at this moment. For everything that was happening to stop. The most wonderful creature in the world was dead, and somewhere, people were happy- not knowing of her death.
I'm not going to let you fly away from me. I'm NOT going to let you leave me- not without a fight. And if I still lose, then I will not let you slip away. I'll follow.
So hold on
Be strong
Everyday on we'll go
I'm here, don't you fear
Just hold on a little bit longer, my love. Just for a little while. I'm coming. Then for the rest of eternity, we'll be together again. I'll be there with you, and you won't have to worry anymore. You won't have to fret about anything ever again.
Little one don't let go
(ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh)
Don't let go
(ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh)
Don't let go
(ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh)
Please, my sweet little angel, don't let me go. Don't leave me behind. Don't give up on what we had- even though I had done so before.
Cover my eyes
Cover my ears
Tell me these words are a lie
I just wish that this is nothing more then a lie that I could wake up, but I know that's impossible.
I parked my Volvo in the parking lot. I didn't care what will happen to it now. I'll have no need of it anymore.
I walked through the revolving doors and up to the counter.
"Hello. Welcome to Delani Aircraft. How can I help you tonight sir?" the elderly woman asked from behind the counter.
"Hello. I'd like a ticket for the next flight to Volterra, Italy."