A/N: Yea! I got this chapter done before I went on vacation. I wasn't sure I would. Now I'm off to California to spend some time with my sister and meet my new baby niece.
Chapter 8: Finding Home
It had been three weeks since the accident and while Lilly was healing physically. Emotionally she was still in a lot of pain. She spent two days in the hospital where she barely acknowledged anyone but the medical staff.
RJ didn't understand why his mom wouldn't hug him and kiss him like she always did when he would visit. His father explained that Mommy didn't feel good and it would take awhile for her to get back to her normal self.
Once she was released from the hospital and brought home she went straight up to the room she shared with Jackson and has hardly left the bed since. He would take meals up to her every day. She would pick at them but she wouldn't really eat. She would finally get fed up and push the tray away and start crying again.
The doctors explained to him that Situational Depression was often common in situations like these. He just needed to be there for her and try to help her get through it. If she didn't start to improve soon he was going to have to get her some help.
He worked it out with Miley to be there with her when he was at work. He had taken a few days off but was forced to return and didn't want to leave her in the house alone, and someone needed to care for RJ when he wasn't in school.
They quickly fell into a routine where Miley would sit with her each day just talking about anything hoping to spark some reaction from her. Instead all she got was a blank stare as Lilly looked on not really seeing anything. When it was time she'd go and pick RJ up from school and just spend time with him, trying unsuccessfully to fill in for Lilly.
Once Jackson got home they would eat dinner together. After which Miley would then leave for the night. Jackson would get RJ ready for bed and ready for school the next morning where the routine would repeat again.
Miley was starting to lose hope of ever getting a reaction out of Lilly when she suddenly had an idea. Going through the Lilly's purse she found the phone number she had been looking for and quickly dialed the number.
Explaining the situation to the person on the other end, they said they had time right then and would be right over. Miley paced around waiting, hoping that this plan would work.
It was twenty minutes before she heard the doorbell ring. Quickly opening it she greeted the young woman on the other side. "Hey Katie, thank you so much for coming over."
"No problem. I wasn't doing anything anyway. Even if I was, it seems as if you needed some help."
"I just don't know what else to try, she has barely moved in over two weeks now. I think we're all getting a little desperate. She told me a few weeks ago she had ran into you, and I remember her telling me you had went through something similar. I hope you don't mind," Miley stated afraid maybe she shouldn't have let on that she knew, but not knowing how else to explain why she called her there.
"No it's fine. It's a part of my life and I'm not going to hide that fact." The honesty in her voice reassured Miley, but she could also hear the pain. "Let me go give it a shot."
Not wanting to leave the two entirely alone she followed Katie up the stairs but hung back while she entered the room.
Feeling that maybe a little tough love was the best solution right now Katie walked straight in and ripped the covers off of Lilly. Shocked that someone had disturbed her like that, since no one had in all this time, she turned to give the person a "what the heck" look when she noticed who was standing there.
"Lilly Stewart get out of that bed and take care of your family," Katie demanded.
"Leave me alone," Lilly mumbled before turning around to face the other direction in an attempt to ignore her.
"No I will not leave you alone. Your family is worried about you. You need to get up and get past this. Your family needs you.
She paused hoping to get a reaction out of the younger girl but when nothing came she continued. "I know it hurts, but you have to move on."
Lilly finally started to feel something other than numb. She heard the words that Katie was saying and knew they were true, but at the same time she just couldn't seem to do anything about them. Instead she let anger soon take over and sat up to face her. "What the hell do you know? I wanted that baby more than anything and now she's gone. You don't know what it feels like to lose a baby you wanted."
"I'm going to let that go because I know you're hurting and it's natural to lash out and you're my friend. But just for the record, I wanted my baby. I may have been in high school at the time, but I knew I would have loved him or her, just like you love RJ. And believe me I felt what you are feeling."
Feeling like she said everything she could possibly say, she left her with one final thought, "You have a son who needs you. You've already lost one child, don't let yourself lose another."
Walking out of the room she found Miley waiting for her. "I heard what she said to you. I'm sorry."
"Don't be, it's her that should be sorry. I know she didn't mean it though. She just wanted to turn what she was feeling onto someone else. I know what that's like."
"Well thank you for trying anyway." After talking for a few more minutes, Miley walked her out the door and thanked her again before sending her on her way.
Upstairs Lilly laid there trying to decide what to do. She knew she couldn't just lay here forever. She just couldn't find the motivation to do anything. The baby she had wanted for so long was gone now. Nothing seemed to matter, but she had to try for her son. If nothing else Katie was right there.
Doing something she hadn't done in awhile, she got up and headed down the stairs. She knew Miley would have her lunch ready by now so she headed straight for the kitchen. Miley was standing behind the bar putting a sandwich together. Another plate sat beside her already ready. As soon as Lilly sat on one of the stools Miley slid the plate to her without a word.
Miley watched as Lilly ate every last bit of food in front of her. The way she ate would make you believe she was starving, and just maybe she was. She made a few attempts to get her best friend to talk to her, but still wasn't able to get anything out of her.
As the day wore on Lilly stayed downstairs watching TV, or just doing random things. She still didn't speak, but at least she wasn't laying in bed anymore. It was certainly a start to the healing process for the other girl.
The look on RJ's face when he came home from school to find his mom there waiting was priceless. Miley really hoped Lilly wouldn't disappoint him. He sat with her each night for awhile just quietly playing, but never managing to get a reaction.
He ran straight to her and gave her a big hug. She hesitated for a moment before hugging him back tightly. Finally it seemed to him like his mom was back. He had missed her. He really missed the times she would just sit and play with him. She would never allow anything to take away her attention during those times.
He sat down beside her and chatted endlessly for awhile about school, but just like Miley got no verbal response from her.
Lilly heard RJ talking, but her mind had once again become numb as she had started thinking about what could have been. She just sat there with a blank look on her face as he finally gave up and walked away.
Miley gave him a hug talked to him for a few moments, trying to make up for his mother's inattention. The little boy seemed happier just knowing his mom was there now. Miley just prayed that things would continue to improve.
Jackson came home surprised to see his wife sitting on the couch. He was excited at first to see her up and about. Soon, however, he realized what the other two had, that while it was certainly an improvement, she still wasn't completely there.
Miley filled him in on the day and Katie's visit before leaving a little early to meet Oliver for their date later that night.
Lilly sat at the table to eat dinner together. She watched as father and son interacted. She watched as her husband put their son to bed wishing so badly to join them but at the same time feeling something stop her.
Everyone went to sleep that night with hope that things were on their way to going back to normal.
The next week went by and nothing really changed. Lilly would move around, but she still didn't participate in what was going on. She would share meals with them and watch television but that was about it.
It was Sunday night and nothing much had really been going on all day. Miley hadn't come over, knowing Jackson was spending the day at home. So he spent the whole day trying to hang out with his son and give him some much needed attention.
They had spent time on the beach and later just playing video games. They had several games that were easier for RJ to play and yet Jackson could never seem to beat the little boy. He didn't purposely try to lose to give the boy a sense of accomplishment, he really did get his butt kicked by the little rugrat.
That night as Jackson tucked him into bed RJ asked his father a question that was on his mind. "Daddy, why won't Mommy play with me anymore?"
It hurt Jackson to hear such a question out of the sad child. Lilly usually spent so much time with him on a daily basis that it was only a matter of time before it came up.
"Mommy is just still really sad about the baby," he replied pushing a stray hair off the boys face. "She loves being your mom so much she wanted to have another baby she could love just as much. Now that it's gone she's really hurt inside." He hesitated not knowing if he would be lying if he said the next thing on his mind, but he believed it to be true so he went ahead anyway. "She'll start feeling better soon, I promise."
That night Jackson knew he needed to take action and soon if things were ever going to change. He really missed being close to the woman he loved more than anything.
Crawling into bed later, he did something he hadn't done in a while, he wrapped his arms around her waist. He felt her tense up at first but then slowly relax back into him. They just sat there for a moment, getting reacquainted with each other this way.
Finally Lilly turned to look at him. It felt so good to be held by him like this again and at the same time she couldn't let herself get that close again. Something was stopping her. She couldn't explain it.
They sat there staring into each other's eyes for awhile, before Jackson started to lean forward. Lilly knew what he was going to do and she wasn't about to stop him. Their lips met in a tender kiss. So soft in fact Lilly knew Jackson was afraid he was going to be rejected, that he didn't want to press her too far.
He pulled back for a minute but realized she wasn't stopping him and tried again. This time it was more passionate and longer. Lilly began to respond, feeling as if she was finally starting to come back to life.
Their kisses continued for awhile and Jackson felt they were finally starting to get somewhere. That is until everything came to a screeching halt.
Lilly was finally starting to enjoy herself for the first time in longer than she could remember. That is until she felt Jackson hand on her stomach making its way up. Suddenly she just froze. Her mood changed so quickly she could never explain it, nor think too much about it.
She pulled away sitting up. He tried to reach for her. "Don't touch me!" Standing up she moved further away. "Just don't touch me."
Jackson couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of his eyes. His Lilly wasn't standing there in front of him. "Lilly I just wanted..."
"Oh I know what you wanted," she said cutting him off. "I can't take this anymore, Jackson!" The anger subsided and she finished the rest defeat. "I just…I can't do that with you. I might get pregnant again and I don't want that. It's too painful. I'm sorry."
With that she ran out the door. Jackson went to follow her, but thought better of it. She just needed time to cool off and she'd be back he was sure. Instead he laid down and after worrying for a few, finally fell asleep.
The next morning Lilly still wasn't home. He went downstairs to find her purse and car both gone. He made a few discreet phone calls but no one had seen her yet. Worry was starting to eat away at him.
RJ didn't know what was going on. All he knew was that his mom wasn't here this morning when he woke up and that his dad had been calling all over looking for her. At one point they went for a drive but still no such luck.
Jackson finally came to the conclusion that they were going to need some help. He started calling family and friends again only this time to let them know she was missing and to help him find her. He tried her cell phone again for good measure but all he got was voicemail.
Lilly had spent the last twenty-four hours sitting in a hotel room over an hour and half's drive away from home. She had barely moved. Yet her brain was on high function. She couldn't stop thinking. Every thought flew by her quickly, only to be replaced by another one.
Several times someone had come knocking on the door, and each time Lilly set them away with a loud yell, not even bothering to open the door.
When a knock came again, she did the same expecting to get the same results, the sound of disappearing footsteps. This time however she got a "Lilly open up. I know you're in there."
The voice sounded familiar to her and still she couldn't seem to place it.
"Lilly open this door!" Whoever it was, they were getting more demanding by the moment. "Fine I'll just wait here until you do. You have to open up sometime."
Lilly thought about making the person wait longer, but it just didn't seem worth it if she was going to have to give in anyway. Getting up she went to the door and unlocked it. Opening it up she walked to the bed without looking to see if the person followed her.
"When you couldn't be found anywhere else, I knew I'd find you here. You'd loved this place. Now get home to your family."
"I don't take orders from you anymore Dad. You've hardly spoken to me at all in the last six years why should I listen to you now?" Lilly said stubbornly.
"Because I'm still your father and I still care about you."
"Yeah because you've shown that so much in the past." Lilly really didn't want to listen to this right now. Of all the people that could come and find her, it had to be him.
"I'll be the first one to admit I haven't been the best father lately but that doesn't mean I don't still love you. Now you have a little boy who loves you and has spent all day wondering where his mother is so you best get your butt home. If you don't then you really aren't the woman I thought you were."
It was getting to be too much for her to take in. "I just… I can't stand the thought of losing him too."
"What do you think you're doing by leaving him?"
The reality of the situation hit her in that moment and hit her hard. She began to cry. At first her father didn't know what to do, he was never good with these situations. Just going for it he sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms.
"I was scared and I didn't know what to do." She then went on to tell him everything she had been feeling lately. He listened through it all. Finally the bond that had been between them when she was a child began to mend.
"We're all scared sometimes honey, the key thing to remember is you have to get past it and move on. Especially when you have someone counting on you. Getting pregnant in high school was never my dream for you, but you have a precious little boy at home that loves you very much. You also have a wonderful husband that has been trying all day to find you. Don't you think it's time you went home and worked this out with him?"
Lilly finally relented and nodded her head in agreement. After getting her check out of the hotel the two began the long trek of driving home.
Jackson sat quietly on the couch, the TV was on but he had no interest it what was playing. He kept wondering when he'd see his wife again. RJ played by himself in the corner, occasionally making a noise or two but other than that he too was silent.
He heard the front door opening, but figuring it was Miley, he didn't even bother to turn his head. It wasn't until he heard a soft "hey" that he finally turned his head, but he still couldn't process what he saw. Lilly was back, and her eyes told him it was his Lilly, not the zombie like creature that was here before.
"Mommy!" RJ squealed when he noticed her finally. He ran over jumping at her. She caught him and held him tightly.
Lilly saw the questions in Jackson eyes and knew they needed a long chat. "We'll talk later I promise," she whispered over their sons head.
That night things seemed to begin to turn back to normal. Lilly helped RJ get ready for bed. She sat beside him and read him a story he picked out and held him close as he fell asleep. She had missed him so much. After she was sure he was asleep, she stayed with him for a few more minutes then finally pulled away, placing a soft kiss to his forehead.
Making her way downstairs she found Jackson sitting on the couch waiting for her. Sitting down beside him she turned to look at him. "There's a lot I need to say, so just hear me out." Jackson
was all ears as she went on to tell him everything. Why she reacted to things the way she did and what she was feeling.
"At least now my Dad and I are on much better terms. He really helped me get through this." She paused for a minute knowing there was one more thing to be said. "I'm still not sure I'm ready to have another baby anytime soon. Give me time on that one."
"It's fine Lils, take all the time you need. I love you. That's all that matters."
"I love you too." The two snuggled on the couch for awhile, being close in a way they hadn't been for some time.
Lilly went to bed that night feeling better than she had for some time. She had finally started to heal and move on. Holding her husband close as she fell asleep and their son down the hall she could finally say she'd found home again.
A/N: Alright guys that's the end except for one small epilogue that will be posted as soon as I write it, probably after I get back from Vacation.
But I promised I'd give an explanation to why I wrote the story the way I did so here it is. The sole reason for writing a third story was because of one line.
I heard RJ say inside my head one day, "Daddy why won't Mommy play with me anymore?" So it had to be something that would totally just take away the Lilly we all know and love. But this whole story was based around that one line.