Author's Note: I just went through a life-altering experience. I'm not sure if that will make my writing better because I suddenly feel I have so much to write about, or if it will make my writing worse because I'm too distracted to focus on what's going on... But I hope all of you are doing well. Time is something we cannot create or buy, so please spend what time you have left to live to the fullest. It is never cliché to believe in such a thing. We may never feel a complete sense of fulfillment when our time is up, but we can try our best to do so for this moment. And this very moment, for me, is to bring you a story. I may not be the best writer in the world, but I hope you take something from it. Enjoy.

VIV.

The First Promise

Though the cave was bathed in warm light, at that moment, it was the darkest and loneliest place I could be. Since the day my parents were murdered, I had always been alone. Even though I was among many like myself in Zaibach, I had always felt alone. Even just now, with Van Schezar lying on the ground before me, I felt all alone.

But then, I saw them. A cluster of crystals that were somehow surgically attached to the heart in Van's chest. They looked exactly like mine, and I almost felt like I was staring at a reflection of myself. Though I couldn't explain this feeling I suddenly felt, knowing that I wasn't the only one that escaped from the clutches of Zaibach made me feel like I wasn't alone anymore.

However, instead of feeling closer to him, the distance between Van and I grew wider. Before, he was unfamiliar to me, and now, he was more like a stranger to me than ever before. How could it be, that this person I barely spoke to before this trip, be the same as me? How did I not notice? Was this why I hated him so much?

Being so close in proximity to him made me realize that all this time, I was able to sense his heart crystals, but the feeling was so weak that I wasn't able to figure it out. No wonder I hated him... I loathed anything that reminded me of Zaibach. And this feeling I sensed was so nostalgic that those feelings I tried to bury kept resurfacing every time I was around Van.

"You're just like...me," I said once more, as though I were afraid for it to turn out to be a lie. Was that how I really felt? That this happiness of being able to find someone I didn't have to hide my true self from would leave me? I never realized how much of an emotional toll keeping my identity a secret had taken from me.

Van let out a groan as he tried to sit himself up. Rolling down his shirt, he hesitantly asked me, "You're... like me?"

My hand unconsciously slid its way onto my chest. I traced the outline of my heart crystals through my shirt with the pads of my fingertips. "I guess... we are the same."

Van didn't say anything.

I continued. "But... I don't understand. How..."

Before I could finish my question, Van collapsed back onto the ground. "Van!" I threw my hands on his shoulders. He was still conscious, but shivering badly. My fire was not enough to combat the bitter cold our wet clothes left us with. Surely, he wouldn't make it through the night. And I was not one to overestimate my body's tolerance to such an extended exposure.

"Van, we have to-

"No," he whispered hoarsely.

"What do you mean no?" I asked him. "You're gonna get sick if you don't warm up!"

"But you..." he began, his voice trailing so softly. "I can't... let you... not that."

I stared at him. Then, I began to take off his clothes.

"Hitomi!" Van objected, but was too weak to fight me off. "Stop it!"

As I continued undressing him, I said quietly, "My life ended when Dornkirk murdered my parents and took me away. My body has been mutilated by pins and needles. I don't even feel human anymore." When I was done, I gathered Van's clothes and went to lay them out by the fire to dry. Staring into the golden flame, I continued, "So please spare me the respect of a woman's virtue. My only purpose is to do what's necessary." Then, I began to take off my own clothes. "And right now, this is necessary."

"Hitomi..."

His voice was... soothing. No one had ever said my name so gently. It was strange to me that he would be so concerned with something so trivial over his own well-being. After all, it wasn't like we were about to engage in sexual intercourse. We just needed to share body heat, that's all.

When I was done, I walked over to Van. He wouldn't look at me. I lied down beside him without making any contact. "It's all right if you look at me, Van," I told him. But he still didn't look at me. Even in all seriousness, I found this amusing. If the fire's color wasn't so intense, I could have sworn he was blushing.

Van started shivering again, bringing me back to the situation at hand. I hesitated at first, but then I slowly climbed on top of him. Van couldn't help making eye contact with me as I did this, but his eyes did not travel elsewhere. I was almost embarrassed by how much he was trying to respect my purity, even though it was something someone like me would have no reason in caring for.

When I was in a comfortable position, I rested atop of him, sharing whatever warmth I had left as he was with his. The longer we stayed like that, the warmer we became. It was then that I noticed that our heart crystals were warming up to each other. I was certain Van wasn't calling on his power, as I wasn't as well, so I didn't understand why they were reacting the way they were now. I decided to think about it later, for my understanding about heart crystals was very limited.

"I never thought I'd find someone from Zaibach out here," Van suddenly said.

"Me neither," I replied. I shifted my head to look at his face. "So who are you really, Van Schezar?"

Van gave me a sad grin. "I'm not really a Schezar. My parents were murdered, like yours. Dornkirk had taken my twin brother and I to Zaibach when we were only five. But, I was defective."

"Defective?" I repeated.

"I wasn't as responsive as the others to Dornkirk's treatment," he answered. "So he wanted to get rid of me as well. But my brother begged him not to. It's because of him that I'm still alive."

"How did you become a part of the Schezar family?" I asked.

"They found me wandering the streets and thought I was an orphan," he responded. "Allen was an only child at the time. He never used to be, though. He had an older brother that died from an incurable illness just two years before then. His parents tried to have another child for Allen, but they found out that they no longer could. So they chose to adopt me instead."

"I see..." I whispered. "It's a coincidence we chose to go to the same school, isn't it?"

"Well, I chose it," Van explained. "Allen decided to follow. He wanted to go where I went. He acts like a jerk, but that's because he's used to being spoiled. After his brother passed away, his parents tried to overcompensate for that loss. But, he's a really good kid. I could honestly call him my brother, even if the blood that flows through our veins is different."

"Good kids don't pick on other kids," I argued with a pout.

Van let out a small laugh. "Allen is very... critical. Even with those that are close to him, he's very blunt and honest. But that's because he believes people are flawed because they choose to be and don't want to change themselves when they are still able to. He knows better than anyone how precious time is. So he tends to dislike people he doesn't understand. Like you, Hitomi."

I scrunched my face deep in thought. "That guy..."

"So take his words lightly," Van advised. "Because he doesn't always mean what he says. He just thinks that provoking people is the best way to get them to look at themselves."

"I must be extremely flawed then."

Van let out a bigger, more relaxed laugh this time. "Maybe."

I smiled. "You're not so bad after all."

"Hm?"

"So..." I changed the subject. "Why did you choose this school?"

"To discover Dornkirk's secret," he answered. "I want to know what he is and how he became the way he is now. I want to know why he kills parents and take away their children. I want to know what he's done to us. Why were we taught what we were taught? Why were we trained what we were trained? And what you said about yourself... are we still human after all? What is his secret? And what are these crystals that are lodged in our hearts? How much power do they really possess?"

"And you thought going to this school will help you find those answers?" I asked uncertainly.

"Science," Van said simply. "If I can at least solve the mystery behind the heart crystals, maybe it will help me find some answers to what is really going on in Zaibach." Then, he looked at me. "What about you, Hitomi? Why did you choose this school?"

"I'd like to discover Dornkirk's secret, too," I said thoughtfully. "But there isn't enough time for that. Too many innocent people are being killed, and too many children's lives are being ruined. I want to put an end to it once and for all and hopefully then, I'll find out what Dornkirk's true purpose is."

"So you plan to defeat him?" Van asked.

"I..." I paused, unsure of how to answer him. "I don't know. That is my plan, but I'm not strong enough. I've been training hard since I escaped Zaibach, but I have a medical set back."

"Oh, right..."

I looked at him. "Van, I told you, I'm not anorexic."

"But you're so thin," he said as he wrapped his strong arms around my tiny waist.

I blushed. "I'm... I'm not thin because of that. Aren't you sick, too?"

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe you didn't stay there long enough for the side-effects to develop," I reasoned. "But most of us that stayed in Zaibach for years have developed a strange sickness. It begins with a headache that grows so severe that we can have seizures. If left untreated, we can fall into a coma that we may or may not wake from. And if that weren't enough, something worse is supposed to happen beyond that, but no one has ever been left untreated long enough to know what happens next."

"You wish to find a cure?" Van asked.

"Yes," I answered. "I'm affected by the sickness as well, so I can't just train without taking care of my self. I haven't been able to concoct an effective cure yet, but someday, I'll find it. It's not just for me, but for the children as well. I can't just save them from Dornkirk, I have to save them from what's inside of them, too."

"That's why I always see you in the lab..." Van realized. "And those pills..."

"Those are pills I created myself," I explained. "They're not the most effective batch, but they help me get by for the time being. It's harsh on my body at the same time though, I can't eat as much as I want to."

"So that's why you're so thin?" Van asked.

"If I eat too much, it'll just come right back up," I answered. "It's a sacrifice I have to make. It may not be logical, but I have no other choice. But I hope you understand me a little more now."

I felt Van's chest rise from underneath me as he took a deep breath. "I don't like it. But, until we find another way, I guess we really don't have any other choice."

We? I thought. I never used that word before. It was always I, me, or myself. Having someone on my side was different, but comforting. Perhaps I didn't have to be alone anymore.

"But Merle is."

"Hm?"

"Merle," Van repeated. "She's... anorexic. Not because she has to, but because she chooses to be."

"Why?"

"Why not?" Van asked. "A person in her position must be conscious of her appearance. She was raised and taught to strive for perfection, using whatever means necessary to achieve it. Her biggest dream was to be a starlet, but her talent wasn't up to par with the other girls. She thought, if she couldn't excel with her talent, she could compete with her looks."

"All for the name of beauty and vanity," I added sadly.

"Sure enough, no one could compete with her in that department," Van continued. "But she was killing herself to do it. When I finally found out, she couldn't stop. She would only stop if I were with her, to protect her from herself."

"Aren't you two dating?"

Van hesitated. "No, we never did. She lived down the street in Allen's neighborhood. So the three of us grew up together. She's just a childhood friend to me. I've always thought of her as a sister, but she thought otherwise. She's much more delicate and fragile than she appears to be, so I couldn't leave her."

"You're willing to do that?" I asked. "To give up the freedom to love someone because you're afraid she may kill herself one day?"

"I never found someone to love," Van answered. "So it wasn't much of a sacrifice."

I felt my heart clench at those words. Will I ever find someone to love? I wondered. There was only one person I ever loved, and even that, I wasn't sure if it was the love Van spoke of.

"Do they know about Zaibach?" I changed the subject once more.

"The Schezars?" Van asked. "No, I never told anyone about it. I didn't think anyone would believe me even if I did. So I kept quiet, as I promised my brother that I would." He shifted his face to look at mine. "Promises aren't made to be broken, Hitomi."

I pondered this for a moment. "I've never had one to break."

Van smiled. "Then let's make one now."

"A promise?"

"Yes, a promise," Van nodded. "Let us promise..." Van paused to think. "Let us promise to stay together until the end."

"Hm?" I said with wide eyes. "Together?"

"Well, what I meant was," Van said carefully, realizing what he just said. "We're not alone anymore. We have a common goal, so we shouldn't try to do things on our own. We'll take this journey together."

"Oh, I see," I said, glad for his clarification. "If..."

"If what?"

I blushed. "In the end, if I was the girl you were looking for, would you come to me?"

"What?" Van blinked.

"Just kidding," I smiled. I wasn't even sure why I asked that. But I was curious. He was committed to someone he didn't even love, at least, not the way lovers should love each other. So what would he do if he were to find someone? Would he leave her? Or would he continue protecting her?

"Oh yeah," I remembered. "What is your real last name?"

"My last name?" Van repeated. "My real name is Fanel. Van Fanel."

I froze.

"What's wrong?" Van asked. "You're so tense all of the sudden."

"Fan... Fanel?" I repeated. "Did you say... Fanel?"

"Yes, that's my real last name," Van assured me. "Why, what's wrong, Hitomi?"

"You're..." I began. Suddenly, I couldn't speak again, just like I couldn't earlier that night when I found out Van was like me. "The twin brother you spoke of... is he... is he still in Zaibach?"

"Yes, I believe he is..." Van stated. "Hitomi, what is it?"

"Then it's true," I said, suddenly wishing I never asked him in the first place. "You're... Folken's brother."