Chapter Five: Ozai's Angels

Azula's Point of View

Damn that Water Tribe girl! Damn her to a thousand hells! I wanted to burn her, to press my knee against her neck and watch the life go slowly out of her. I wanted to feel her warm life blood run cold, to look her in the eyes as she faced her killer. I wanted to be there when she breathed her last breath, and then moved no more.

It wasn't fair.

How had I come this far just to let her hurt me like this? Some stupid little girl I'd hardly known two days! It wasn't right; Mai and Ty Lee left of their own accord all the time and I never cared about them. No, that was a lie . . . but I knew that they would come back to me. Katara could very well be the one to look at me with disgust right before impaling me on an icicle.

I shivered at the thought and curled closer to the warm, forgiving fire. Fire was a much better catharsis that water; most people laugh when I say that, but it's true. After a volcano there is nothing, until slowly (so slowly) the beginnings of soft green and benevolent purple come forth to reveal themselves in spring time. And suddenly there's a forest, suddenly life in the most beautiful way. After snow? Snow just hides the world a little while, and it all comes back the same. If you want cleansing, use water; if you want deliverance, use fire.

The fire gave me stength, and while Katara and Surresh were still sleeping I rose and slipped outside. Absorbing the sweet sunlight I began to move through the stances slowly. I was still weak from the cold-sickness, but I'd be damned if I continued to laze around. I had to strong. To be better.

To be perfect.

I leaned my weight into my back leg, feeling a slight pull of resistance before docile acceptance. Good. A series of kicks, or jabs. Then blue-white flames licking, erupting, going off like fireworks. Me, breathing it in. Absorbing the sun. Me, on fire as the heat made me dizzy and just a little giddy like that time Ty Lee had made Mai and I drink something Ty Lee called "The Green Fairy".

I didn't ask.

The memory was still distinct in my mind. It was back at the Academy, before Zuko's banishment and the terrible chaos that followed (memories at which I flinch). We were in a triple at my request (since never had I been denied anything I ever truly wanted). Ty Lee came bounding through the door, giddy and grinning. Mai and I exchanged look.

"Ooookay, Ty. I think you've had enough. Lay off the sake. Or Absolut, or whatever that is," Mai said warily, reaching for the green glass bottle. Ty Lee laughed.

"Silly Mai-Mai," she said, giggling (at this Mai frowned). "It's not alcohol! It's absinthe, the Green Fairy! Soooooo much better," more giggling.

"Uh-huh,"

"Azula, you believe me, don't you? Try some. We'll go out. It'll be fun," she promised, swishing the cloudy liquid in front of my eyes.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Mai warned. Too late. I lifted the bottle to my lips and drank. It burned a little going down, and then the world settled into a pretty, hazy place. Later, I would use absinthe to self-medicate.

"Ohh, she's right. Please Mai, let's go out!" I begged, walking over and putting my hands on her shoulders. "Pleeeeeeeeaasse,"

"You two . . ." her voice trailed off and she sighed. "We get in trouble, I'm blaming you," she said, pointing to Ty Lee. She drank a large gulp, impressing me and Ty Lee. "Agni," she whistled under her breath. "You really went for the strong stuff, didn't you? Azula, I trust you can get us out of anything?"

"Just gotta flash the Zatharna Sun," I giggled and walked to my closet, combing through my clothes for something suitable. Red dress with gold embroidery; fine, fine, fine. Mai changing into a black dress, Ty Lee in a slutty pink thing. Me, pinning only some of my hair back with the Zatharna Sun and letting the rest fall lose. Ty Lee kissed me.

"You look soooooo good," she slurred, giggled as I blushed and Mai rolled her eyes. "I could just eat you . . ."

"Let's not go there," I pressed a hand to her mouth (dear Agni, she had kissed me!) and Ty Lee passed me the bottle.

"Drink, drink, drink!" she crooned. Mai caught my glance.

"You sure you want to go out?"

"Yeah," I took another mouthful and watched the edges blur. "Yeah," Ty Lee pulled me out the door by the wrist and Mai followed, mumbling something to herself about playing babysitter. I laughed and Ty Lee tossed up the now empty bottle. It shattered on the school's marble floors.

It was a Friday, and all the good places were open. We went to El Casa de Sol, a well known bar in the city of Solis De. They let us in immediately, as I thought: I all had to do was flash the Sun and they were falling over themselves. Princess this, princess that. We got in and headed to the bar.

"Three plum wines, please," Ty Lee said, resting her head on her hands and pushing her breasts forward. The bartender did a double take then gladly gave them to us.

"On the house for such gorgeous girls," he said flirtingly. Ty Lee laughed, Mai rolled her eyes. I sipped the wine and watched the bar in quiet awe. The music was loud, hitting me in the gut. I laughed. The music, the drinks. . .the roar of the crowd. Ty Lee kissed Mai for attention and then quick as anything was on the table, dancing in a way that made me blush for her. Her long hair was down, and in response to the rabid shouts of men ("Take it off, honey!") she wore only her shift skirt and chest wraps.

Mai was flirting with the bartender when he came over to me. Smiling, he took my hand without my permission and there was something very nice about his confidence. He pulled me onto the dance floor, one hand on the small of my back and the other stroking the outside of my right thigh. A little uncomfortable. I said nothing and his hips smashed into mine.

"You like dancing, princess?" he asked, smiling like a predator did circling its prey. I nodded. Yes, yes. . .I think. I like this giddy feeling. Is that dancing? I'm not quite sure anymore. . . "Good,"

Suddenly, black. Some place very dark. Me, on my back. Hands all over my body. Discomfort. Something very hard pressing against me. No, no, no. I didn't like this, didn't want this. I struggled to make my voice heard.

And then shh, shh. A hand on my breast, another trying to make its way to the junction of my legs. Shh, this is good. Feels good. Don't you want to feel good? Relax, shh. . .

No, no, no. . .

A strangled cry rising out of my throat, my stomach going all wrong. I was going to throw up.

"Stop. . ." I groaned. "Mai. . . . Ty Lee . . . ." they probably couldn't hear me. "Stop. . ."

"Shh. . ."

"Help!" I was shouting now, people were beginning to stare. "No. Get off. Leave me alone! Mai! Ty Lee!"

"Shut up!" his hand on my mouth. The sickly smell of his sweaty hand. Too late. I threw up. "Aw, fuck it,"

Later, bathing. Mai and Ty Lee unable to quite meet my eye. Take me by fire, take me by fire . . . the water so hot I emerged with red skin and a few white blisters.

"Azula!" Katara was obviously surprised to see me. A frown. A gape. "You're up,"

"My, you're observant," I spat, sending a blast into the sky. She flinched, watching with a wide-eyed fear. "Were you out here for something?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright. . . are you sure that's healthy?" she questioned.

"I'm fine. I've been through worse,"

"Oh,"

A pause.

"Can I get you something to eat? To drink?"

"I'm fine, really," I'm trying to not get too close to you so I can leave easily in a few days when I'm back up to full strength. You think this power? You haven't seen anything!

"Well, I'll be inside. Let me know if you need something. . .want something. We should probably leave in the next day or so. Avoid our captors," she picked at her sleeve.

"Whatever," I threw a punch. That's right, go running back to your friends. See if I care.

"Okay," she slipped into the house and I took off into the woods. A tool. Abandoned. The princess of the wastelands, me. I tripped over my own feet and fell into a river, shivering at the cold. I heated my skin and the water steamed off, evaporating from my clothes.

Warmth, so good.

I laid on the bank and stared up at the sky for a while, feeling the sun warm me and fill me. Was the moon like that for Katara? Did she lie in the moonlight and feel a silent steel fill her bones? Certainly I felt a kinship with the day. Agni would bring out her bright face to bless us, to calm us and chase away the demons of the night. The sun, the only thing keeping me sane. The best catharsis of them all.

I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender.