Mmkay I'm going to try and keep this short because as you know my a/n are just as long as my actual story which if it was me I would be ticked offfff. LA TUA CANTANTE 101!!! It's your lucky day because I'm feeling particularly nice so you can have a role in here... I'm not promising that I won't kill you in the end... but your here. And Bobby Rae I stole from you and I hope you can forgive me... okay not really but theres a quote in here that made me laugh. And thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far your whats keeping this going... drop some hints on what you want to happen because I'm getting a little bored. I honestly don't think I'm all that great with comedy... This is also pretty long so far and contains SWEARING!!!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS ONWARD FOR DA FUNNYNESSS!!!

Hermione:...

Me: Oh Not you again!

Hermione: Yes me again. I came to confront you about having me killed.

Me: Uh, but Harry was stupid. He killed you he pointed the wand kill him! -points at Potter-

Hermione: I don't think so.

Me: What's that behind you?

Hermione: -turns- A black hole. I think I came from there.

Me: Oh... well that's cool. What happens if a person falls into one of those? -shifty eyes-

Hermione: Well I saw this one thing on Nova... It's basically a star thats collapsed inside of itself creating a funnel type of vaccuum. It's impossible to get out of it.

Me: So you kinda defied the laws of gravity...

Hermione: I DID DIDN'T I?!??!

Me: Mhmm... right so do you think you could it a second time?

Hermione: I don't think so I don't think anybody can, but-

Me: OH MY GOD WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!?!?

Hermione: -turns really fast-

Me: I PUSH YOOUUU! -Need I say more? pushes mcbush-

Hermione: I'll get you Twitch!

Me: Right... mmkay I got an evil hench... woman... girl... person...thing. She's like Igor only not.

Maddison (aka La Tua Cantante 101): Sup y'all

Everyone: Sup Maddie.

Me: She shall be in charge when I leave.

Max: CAN YOU FREE US!!!!!

Maddie: -looks from me to max and back again- Uh, no.

Max: Why??? Is it because she's an evil, heartless, dictating monster.

Maddie: Um, pretty much yeah. -nods head-

Me: Awww Max you got me down to a T! How sweet. Right so Maddie's in charge because I have to see a man about laptop. Apparently our christmas gifts got mized up. DIE SANTA DIE!!!!

Maddie: Wait Twitch!

Me: What?!? Tell me before I murder you!

Maddie: Errr, yeah right. Um, so your exchanging your evil laughing chainsaw for a lap top?

Me: Your point?

Maddie: But your evil! Why don't you keep the chainsaw?

Me: Silly Maddie! Naw I plan to bring the chainsaw to -curls fingers- "trade" with Bobby Rae... only not really.

Maddie: Right...

Me: I'm gonna kill B.R., take the lap top and come back with my laughing chainsaw.

Maddie: Right...

Me: -leaves-

Maddie: -paces- I was never big on the torture and destruction thing... I'm thinking a party.

Edward: So does that mean I can drink? I mean technically in one way I'm over drinking age.

Maddie: But you don't drink. OMGI'MTALKINGTOEDWARDFRIGGIN'CULLEN!!!!!!!!

Edward: Uh, yes I do.

Maddie: No you don't. I'MARGUINGWITHEDWARDCULLENAHHHHHHHH!

Edward: I'm telling you I DO! I drink lots and lots of... blooood. So bite me!

Maddie: Can I???

Edward: I'll bite you!

Maddie: Will you???

Bella: Okay so this isn't weird.

Max: Yeah, you don't even know weird. I am seriously a danger magnet.

Bella: You're a danger magnet??? HA! I'm a danger magnet. My boyfriends a vampire.

Max: Yeah, there's sexual tension between me and a bird kid that can paralyze a full grown man!

Bella: I had three vampires after me!

Max: I grew up in a lab!

Bella: I have an ancient group of vampires after me!

Max: I have a deranged director after me!

Bella: My best friend and partial-would-be lover is a werewolf!!!

Edward: -cringes- Would be lover??

Max: Yeah well I have werewolf flyboys attacking me all the time!

Fang: Will you both shut up?! We need to find a way to get out of here!

Eragon: WOAH! I agree with wingy boy. I can't find my dragon... has anyone seen a big blue dragon???

Max: Who are you?

Eragon: I'm Eragon... do you like my new pointy-ish ears???

Max: What book are you from elf freak.

Eragon: Well, bird freak, I'm from Eragon... and Eldest...

Max: -snorts- And when was the last book published 1780???

Carlisle: No. It wasn't around then... I would know. (I almost forgot about some of them!)

Eragon: NO!!! Christophers just really busy or something...

Edward: Hey look we need to find a way to escape this place!

Maddie: Yeah before Twitch gets back!

Everyone: -silence-

Maddie: What?? I got caught up in the moment! Lets escape!!!

Eragon: Right I'm going to use my awesome mind to call my awesome dragon. I also has to track down my long lost now un-awesome brother who stole my stuff.

Harry: Yeah we don't care about your life story.

Eragon: I think we'll all need therapy thoroughly after this. Any one wanna share their story?? My mother died and I have an older brother who was awesome and became un-awesome and it turns out my mentor killed my dad who was evillllll I swear.

Edward: My parents died of the influenza and my new dad stole me from a hospital and bit me and I killed people and then I found true love.

Max: That sounds seriously twisted. I grew up in a dog kennel and then my secret father broke me out of the secret facility and hid me and my family in a secret home secretly. And then we were hunted down my little sister stolen a clone made of me and my little brother died I found out who my mom is and we're all still freaked out.

Harry: Right my parents were murdered by Lord Voldemort when I was a baby and I had to live with crap relatives for crappy 16 years found out I'm "Magical" almost get killed by voldemort and company 1...2... -counts on fingers- 1st book Quirrel...

Edward: did you just say squirrel? Those little buggers are hard to catch! They taste like turkey.

Bella: I thought the phrase was Taste like chicken.

Edward: Yeah but it tastes like Turkey.

Bella: You'd know.

Edward: Mhmm damn straight.

Bella: -gasp- Eddie swore!

Edward: -growls- NEVER call me EDDIE again.

Bella: Mmkay Edwardo.

Edward: GRRRR

Harry: HELLOOOOOO back to my story thanks!! once with my teacher... once with a snake... once with a dementor...four times with Voldemort... once with snape unless you count class time but I never came close to death there.

Edward: Oh, I thought you were talking about various things you slept with! A teacher, a snake, a Lord Moldywart, a dementy thingamajig...

Harry: NOOOOOOoooooo. And then once I killed Moldywar- I mean Voldemort I got married and had kids...

Edward: Your like 17!!!

Harry: Yeah... cause Twitch didn't like me older so in her head I'm 17.

Edward: Right.

Wall: -CRASH... BOOM... CRUMBLE-

Eragon: Sapphira!!!! You took long enough bitch.

Sapphira: Yeah well you were rambling in your head. Lets go.

Cullens: We can run.

Harry&Co.: Yeah we can fly on brooms. Eh well besides Hermione... she never did like flying.

Ron: Remind me to hit you when we get home.

Harry: Rightio.

Kiesha'ra&Co.: Yeah we can too.

Jack: I've got a ship loves! With RUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Edward: Kay that's everyone.

Maddie: Uh, Hellooooo!!!!!!!!! I'm not fictional nor do I have a way of leaving!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edward: I can make you fictional!

Bella: EDWARD??!!!!

Maddie: So I'd be like not real anymore??!!!

Bella: EDWARD??????

Edward: Pretty much yeah

Bella: EDWARD CULLEN!!!???

Edward: What Bella?

Bella: You're going to bite another girl??

Edward: Ummm no of course not.

Bella: Oh... okay well that's good. -turns away-

Edward: -mouths to Maddie- Later - pretends to bite her-

Maddie: OH YEAH!

Everyone: -steps out side the giant hole in the wall-

Ron: Why is the ground red? WHY THE BLOODY HELL IS THE GROUND RED??!?!??

Edward: OH. MY. GOD.

Bella: I thought you didn't believe in Heaven for us so no God???

Edward: Is that Earth?? -points out-

Esme: I think it is!

Carlisle: HOLY SHIT WE'RE ON MARS!!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

TWITCH POV

Me: EARTH! LAR LAR LAR! EARTH. HAHHA I CAN SEE MARRRSSSS -knocks on door-

Person inside: Yeah, Be right there!

Door: -opens- OW I'M CREAKING!!!! OW OW OW! MY EFFING HINGES!

Me: You should oil your door it's loud.

Bobby Rae: I KNOOOOW YOU!!! Lemme set my books down.

Me: Really? Because My picture barely shows my head on FF.

Bobby Rae: OMG Your gonna kill me!!

Me: What are you doing with those books?? Ooooh is that Twilight???

Bobby Rae: Uh Yeah.

Me: Is that a permanent marker?? WERE YOU WRITING ON THE BOOKS!?!??!

Bobby Rae: Uh, maybe.

Me: I shall join you. -comes in and grabs books and marker-

Book: -Stephenie's name is crossed off-

Me: MWAHAHHA I am the author of the twilight series!!!!

Bobby Rae: Aweee I wanted to be the author.

Me: -glares- Do you WANT to die? Do you fear death Bobby Rae? Do ya?

BR: Um, no. I call Eragon!

Me: I get Harry Potter.

BR: Damn!!!!

Me: MWAHAHHAHAHA I must get back to Mars soon.

BR: Mars?

Me: Secret head quarters...

BR: Right, okay.

BR& Me: -continue to steal the brilliant works and right fan fictions-

HHAHAHA Carlisle your sooo funny! hahahah sorry for those of you who don't like swearing but it happens with me. Wasn't that insanely long for me??? it's hard to keep presing the enter button to right a new line... mwahahah this is my condition you must reach 15 reviews! MWAHHAA okay its not that hard and it's quite reasonable but when have I been known to be reasonable??? How about this you MUST review one other of my stories and MEAN WHAT YOU SAY... flames included I 'spose. Right I'm a little tired so I'm gonna write some more fanfiction and then stare at a picture of Rob Pattinson to TRY and love him as an Edward. GRRRR I'd rather of had Chase Crawford as Edward but we can't always get what we want... besides there is no perfect Edward actor out there that everyone would be happy with anways... and then I shall watch the Messengers because Kristen Stewart is in it. I really liked her in Speak so I'm TRYING to like the actors who are to play as characters in one of the best novels in the world...

Sigh and that was my less dramatic sigh.

Hope I didn't bore you to death.

twitchbarkyvonsnouzer