You know how much I suck? And no it isn't an innuendo although it totally makes me laugh my pants off. Well I'm actually wearing shorts but ya know same diff. Anyways I suck A LOT. I haven't updated this so I finally decided that after like what? A bajillion months to end this!

Now I began writing this out of boredom and honestly thought I wasn't gonna get a response. Now that the last twilight book has come out I feel like I could do a couple more chapters but I know there are people out there who haven't read it.

Besides I'm sure you can come up with what I'm really thinking. Like Jake and his infatuation. You know what I mean. I could write like three or four chapters on that. However I've lost interest in continuing this and have been trying to really figure out how to make me laugh my self to death while giving you all a complete fanfic. I'm going to shut up now and just give you what you've all waited so patiently for…. ACTUALLY I should also say that even though I said last time that that was the end then… well it's the end for real now. Did you understand any of that? It sounded right when I thought it… oh well.

ONWARDS!

p.s. I don't own the rights to Dark Knight or whatever…

Me: This is so dull! Everyone is dead! -looks at everyone dead on mars-

Stephenie Meyer: Thanks a bunch for killing off everyone I've ever loved.

J.K. Rowling: Wot is your problem?! Don't you clearly know that you destroyed everything?! NO ONE'S HAPPY.

Me: -sigh- True Dat. Fine I suppose I could make everything right again… but it won't make me happy!

S.M.&J.K.R.- No one cares just fix it!

Me: Shazaam everythings back to normalll! -waves magic fingers-

Edward: Hells bells I'm tired of dying!

Bella: Eh, can't be worse than being turned into a monster. Which I want sooooo bad.

Edward: You're not helping Bella dear…

Bella: Riiight -blushes-

Edward: MMM that's better. Besides I'm not sure I could change you and not kill you.

Me: Feel free to do so. Rid the world of a Swan.

Edward: -glares daggers-

Me: Just kidding! Sheesh.

Harry: So are we free.

Me: I guess so…

Hermione: YESS! BYE EVIL ONE!

Me: WAIIIIIT! I have to make some things right! Voldemort you die!

Voldy: -falls down dead-

Harry: Why couldn't I have done that years ago?

Hermione: Because like Ron you're an idiot.

Ron: You are aware that I AM right here.

Hermione: Oh yeah I knew.

Me: SHUT UP! Okay so like last year this is how everything went in my head. Harry and Ginny hooked up. Voldemort died. Weasley's lived. Fleur died. Hermione and Ron had smart red headed babies. Dumbledore magically came back to life and I strangled Bellatrix Lestrange. I gave Neville a hug and made sure he and Luna had more fun at Hogwarts.

Harry: Er, wow.

Me: Potter crew and leave! -waves awesome fingers and they magically poof away to the ink pages we have left to remember them by-

Edward: I'm afraid of what happens to us…

Me: It's slightly twisted but all good. -takes a deep breath- Rosalie gets of this imaginary PMS stage and loves everyone. Jasper becomes less moody. Alice gets more hyper. Emmett gets funnier and Esme and Carlisle are just awesome anyways. Bella belongs with Edward and they get married. Jacob TOTALLY shows up on his bike, but won't object at the wedding.

Edward: SCORE!

Me: SHUT THE HELL UP CULLEN! Anywaysss in some way I figured out this was perverted but Jake imprints on Leah even thought they're related albeit distantly. Everyone imprints Billy and Sue end up together. Jessica gets hit by a bus and mike is pushed in front of an oncoming train. Angela and Ben live happily ever after and Edward hears Bella's thoughts in the most… er…. Intimate moments.

Rose: Can we leave now? AND I'LL ALWAYS BE A BITCH… most of the time…

Me: GET OFF MY PLANET!

Twilight crew: -poofs away-

Me: PIRATES! I love you! This ones simple. Jack gets the black pearl and his crew as well as a lifetime supply of rum. Will was never stabbed and is magically transported to my bedroom in modern times. -shifty eyes. Murmurs- nobody says dirty boys have to get clean.

Elizabeth Swan: -COUGH COUGH-

Me: Oh right sorry… and you die a horrible painful but thankfully silent death. HOW DARE YOU CUFF JOHHNY DEPP TO A SHIP… I mean er CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow… Bye now! Except I'll be seeing you later. -winks disturbingly at Will Turner- Oh yeah by the way your dad is free from davy jones locker and everyone BESIDES Elizabeth ends up happy!

PotC: POOF

Eragon: What about me?

Me: I have this awful feeling Saphira will die but with the power of fan fiction SHE LIVES! You get your elfin princess and you're a long lost prince to a throne no ones heard about. Murtagh is under some sort of spell and totally shares a bed with myself and Will. MWAHAHA oh and Galbatorix gets stabbed. The end now poof away my dears! -they disappear-

Me: Transformers and Keisha'Ra-ers. Hahah RA ERS! -COUGH- Nothing changes. I'm completely content with everything there. Zane I've gots you on SPEED DIAL… POOOF NOW.

Me: Is that everyone?

Max: I think you're forgetting about me and my flock?

Me: RIIIIGHT! Okay so Max and Fang live happily ever after… kinda like in the original Max Ride series except uh, Oz is Fang Peter, Wendy and Max's cute little equal Iggy, Nudge, Angel and Gasman! Oh yeah and total finds a totally hot little dog and all is well.

Total: SCORE!

Me: SOOOO I suppose that's the end.

Everyone: -Has poofed away back to their own books and movies-

Me: -Sits on a chair at a table that probably was never there but it doesn't matter because it's fan fiction and the wildest things can happen-

Voice: Wanna see a magic trick? -Stabs a pencil into the table-

Me: -turns to see The Joker- Who the hell are you? And what's with the awesome makeup?

Joker: I have a proposition. I'm not sure if you're evil enough though.

Me: Let me tell you about the day I had then… it involved torturing and keeping hostage many many people.

The Joker: Really? I was thinking combining forces and ruling Gotham City.

Me: IN! SO IN!

.:The End:.

Yes it's over for real now. I basically ended it how I wish it really ended for the most part . I call claims to all the hot heroic stars for myself. Yes I'm greedy I know. I just had this urge to add the Joker at the very end. I feel as if it has ended abruptly but as much as I love the idea of continuing I don't have the time or patients which I wish had. And Heath Ledger Rest in Peace.

Fin.

Neesha