Entry Twenty-Four
Today instead of working with Obi-Wan, I worked with Siri Tachi.
She's such a vivacious personality, really.
We went to the gymnasium, just like I had with Obi-Wan, and took a private training room.
As I walked her through some of the maneuvers, she did very well and only missed one step and it was toward the end.
It felt good to work with her, and to have her smiling up at me, her face flushed with pride of her achievement.
I don't know what to do.
I've never felt this much confusion before and I don't like feeling unsettled. Choosing a padawan is such an awesome responsibility and I don't want to make a mistake that will haunt me the rest of my life. It has happened to some, which is why I am being so very careful.
A Jedi Knight spends anywhere from eight to twelve years in training with a Master. Not only do we have to choose someone who thinks is qualified in our field, if the personalities don't match, then the entire relationship will be thrown off.
Some people just do not work very well together, and that's all there is to it.
The Force seems to be tugging me in multiple directions at once.
Perhaps that merely means there is more than one possible right answer?
I think I will seek Master Yoda's guidance.
Maybe he can help me to interpret what I have been feeling.
He's a much wiser Jedi than I, and sometimes we all need to seek counsel from those older than us. I would ask Master Dooku, but since he is part of the confusion, I would prefer to seek from someone outside, unconnected to the situation.
I hope it helps.
I'm glad I've had this diary to confide in when I've been so troubled. Writing out my feelings definitely has helped to some extent, since I can see the options visibly on a flimsiplast.
But the consequences of the actions are much harder to predict, unfortunately.