Thank you for everyone's honest opinions. I hope things become more clear as I update. Also, I wanted to throw this is because the reviewer had a point, I did not mean to make it a bashing towards Cordelia. Rather, I needed somehow to explain why Angel didn't go to help Buffy fight during The Gift. She'll come back more later, promise. And as far as the summary...I guess what I meant to write is that this is pretty much AU after The Gift; or rather what could have happened.

Meanwhile, in Sunnydale…

"I'm telling you guys, Angel had no clue about the fight. He looked really angry at Cordelia for hiding it from him. And oh, he was so sad about Buffy."

"Who cares, Will? He left and he refused to help us, when instead Buffy died! Who give a shit about him?"

"Xander—"

"No! I mean it!"

With that, Xander stormed out, with Anya trailing behind. And then there were six…

Giles sat quietly in his favorite chair, rubbing his glasses clean (even though he had been doing that for the past week); Dawn was most likely in Buffy's room crying; Spike was out on the porch smoking; and she and Tara were holding hands in the kitchen. The past week had been hell for everyone. Dawn had composed herself only long enough to tell them Buffy's messages, then she fell silent—only her tears and the sobs she made when she cried let others know she was around. Giles had also gone silent, once in awhile he would mutter something about "should have done something", but he never spoke outright to anyone. Spike had taken to watching over Dawn, never leaving her side. Xander had been lashing out at any one/thing, trying desperately to remain sane. Poor Anya and Tara were left to feel like outsiders as everyone mourned. But Willow…she had perhaps suffered the most.

Not only had she lost her (their) protector/guardian; she had lost her best friend. She couldn't understand what she had done wrong in life to be dealt these cards. First, her werewolf boyfriend leaves her devastated, then her best friend's mother dies, then her lover loses her mind while waiting for her, and now…now she had had to honor Buffy's wishes, telling her soul mate she had died; all the while mourning herself. Buffy hadn't just been the Slayer or another friend to her; she had been there when no one else had a care to. She had seen her through the best and worst times in her life so far; and yet when she had needed her the most, Willow let her die. Nothing about this was fair, and for a moment she felt what Buffy must have felt like all these years…alone.

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"Angel?"

"Go away, Wesley."

"I would, but…there's a phone call for you."

"…"

"It's Dawn, Angel. She really would like to—Oh."

Angel yanked open the door, pulled the receiver out of Wesley's hands and slammed the door shut again. Since Willow had informed him of Buffy's death, he hadn't once left his room. He sat alone, in darkness; sometimes sketching her, sometimes shedding tears…but always missing her.

"Dawn?"

"Hi, Angel."

He and Dawn had been close for awhile-before he had turned into Angelus; at least that's what the memories the monks installed in him showed. He had always been fond of her, and knew-even if Buffy didn't-that she was very protective of her older sister.

"She's gone, Angel!"

"I know."

"I just can't believe she--"

Angel listened as his heart broke for the teenager; her mother had passed away and now her sister. He could only imagine what it must feel like for her to sit idly by, feeling helpless as her family left her alone. After a few minutes, he heard Dawn try to regain some composure.

"Did you find the letter Willow left you?"

He had, but he hadn't opened it yet. Opening it would mean she was actually gone, and that wasn't something he was prepared for yet.

"Yes, I have it."

"You haven't read it, have you?"

"No, Dawn, I haven't."

"She left one for all of us. Guess she knew she wouldn't--"

Angel cringed at the sounds of her sobs, wishing he could somehow comfort her. Distantly he heard his Childe. "Come on now, Niblet. You must be tired, say goodnight to the ponce and get some rest."

"I'm sorry Angel, I can't seem to do anything but cry lately."

"I understand, Dawn, it's fine. You do need rest."

"You heard Spike? Oh yeah, super-hearing, right? He's been watching over me, taking care of me since…well, you know. Angel?"

"Yes?"

"Does this mean I won't ever see you again either?"

Angel felt a few tears drop at her innocent question. It sounded as if she had all but fallen into despair. How do you explain to a child the ways of the world? Granted, Dawn had seen more than any other child her age, yet…Silently, he was grateful for Spike.

"Of course you will see me again, Dawn. I'll always be here for you. Whenever and whatever you need."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now get some rest, please."

"Ok. Goodnight, Angel."

"Goodnight, Dawn."

As he hung up the phone, his tears fell quicker. Picking up the letter, he sighed and began to open it.

Dear Angel-

I wish I could say I understood why you could not come to Sunnydale, but I guess I'll never know now. If you're reading this then I didn't make it. Ironic after, what, seven apocalypses it ends. To be honest, I figure it would be hard for you to come here. The idea of traveling to L.A. makes my heart ache.

I saved your letter for last, mostly because I knew it would be the hardest to write. Spike's was first, then Xander, Giles, and so on. But yours…how do you say good-bye to the one person you cannot bare to be separated from? Even in my dreams I am never far from you.

I have never just loved you, Angel. What I feel for you is so far beyond what the word 'love' could mean. We are truly a part of one another. Though, I guess it's time you were the one left behind, huh? Bad joke, sorry I was thinking about the time I had to chose the world over you; and watching you walk away following my graduation. Those two moments were the hardest…I barely survived.

I want you to know that you are the only man who has ever had—and will ever have--my heart. If I could chose again, between the world and you…there wouldn't be a moment's hesitation. I'd chose you. These years apart have changed me in many ways, but my love for you has never been touched. Please know I am at peace now. And look after the others for me? I hate to say it, but they may be lost for awhile…even Spike.

Love Always & Yours,

Buffy

Angel was torn between utter grief, from her loss, and joyfulness at her words. Setting the letter back within its envelope, he allowed the grief to win over; all his friends would hear for the next few weeks would be his cries.