Chapter Three: The Wizard and I

MADAME MORRIBLE:

(spoken)

Oh, Miss Elphaba

(sung/spoken)

Many years I have waited

For a gift like yours to appear

Why, I predict the Wizard

Could make you his

Magic grand vizier!

My dear, my dear

I'll write at once to the Wizard

Tell him of you in advance

With a talent like yours, dear

There is a defint-ish chance

If you work as you should

You'll be making good.

ELPHABA:

Once I'm with the Wizard

My whole life will change

'Cuz once you're with the Wizard

No one thinks you're strange!

No father is not proud of you,

No sister acts ashamed

And all of Oz has to love you

When by the Wizard, you're acclaimed

And this gift or this curse

I have inside

Maybe at last, I'll know why

When we are hand and hand -

The Wizard and I!

"Ms. Granger!" A simpering voice called out. Hermione looked around alarmed. If she could escape the toad woman, she would. Her hand closed protectively around her amulet. Umbridge had tried to rip it from her neck on more than one occasion.

"Yes, Professor Umbridge?" she said in a tired voice. The woman had a particularly nasty look on her face, like she had swallowed some soured old milk.

"I wish to have a word with you in my office."

"Of course, Professor," Hermione said in monotone. She heaved her book bag up on her shoulder and sighed.

"Lavender," she called out to her roommate.

"What, freak?" she sneered.

"Tell Flitwick I'm going to be late. Professor Umbridge wants a word."

"Fine. I'll try to see if I remember." The blonde flipped her hair once before going back to her conversation with Parvati.

She followed the toady woman to her lair, erm, office, and took a seat in one of the overstuffed magenta-colored armchairs in front of her desk.

"Professor McGonagall and I have been looking over your transcripts from the past few years and your O.W.L. results and I must say, we are impressed. Your records show nothing but academic excellence in all your classes since your first year here," Professor Umbridge began after she had poured herself a cup of tea, not offering Hermione one.

"Thank you," Hermione said stiffly.

"Your grades are phenomenal. I don't think that I can stress that enough. Even though you are a half blood," she paused here to give Hermione a dirty look. "You are extraordinarily gifted and smart." She took a sip of her tea whilst surveying Hermione over the rim.

"You know that I am a talent scout for the Ministry." It was more of a statement than a question so Hermione remained silent.

"I look at all the students in Hogwarts and I personally handpick the best, the smartest, the elite. You, Ms. Granger are one of them. I have already sent in my personal letter of recommendation to the Minister for Magic, but because of your rather regrettable blood status, we need to push you harder to see if you're really up to the test."

"I am," Hermione answered firmly and quickly.

"Let's see your class schedule, shall we?" Umbridge opened up a drawer in her desk and got out a file with Hermione's name on it.

"You're taking more classes than any other Sixth year, I see. Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology, Potions, and Transfiguration. Eight extremely difficult and time demanding classes. You've even petitioned Professor McGonagall once to requisition a Time Turner so that you could also take the rest of the classes! But they turned you down, didn't they?" She smiled in mock sympathy. "Because you have dirty blood. That must've stung."

"I've dedicated myself to the pursuit of knowledge," Hermione said steadily, digging her nails into the arms of the armchair in anger.

"I wonder why you weren't put into Ravenclaw then."

"The Sorting Hat knew I would need Gryffindor courage to prove prejudiced bigots such as you wrong."

"Very spirited of you to say so, even though I hold your future in my hands," Umbridge said with a patronizing smile.

"A caged lion, although caged, will attack when its keeper is foolish enough to come in," Hermione countered.

Umbridge leaned back in her chair and stared her down.

"I hope you know that I am not doing this because I like you, Ms. Granger. In fact, I detest you, and if I had my way you would've left this school the day you arrived. You and your filthy blood are my life's vexation. You're nothing but trouble. You're angry, bitter and anti-social. The only people who I've spoken to who have had a kind word to say about you are two stoners I found smashed in the dungeons!"

Hermione had to bite down a laugh. She was guessing that Malfoy and Zabini had put on quite a show for the toad.

"You constantly provoke your roommate, Ms. Brown, who is a perfectly respectable lady! My point is, Ms. Granger, is that my job is to report people to the Ministry who have the best grades and the best academic performance of their year. I am also to report people with unusual amounts of power. You are qualify in all the above. If it weren't for your blood, they would've hired you years ago."

"Thank you. In your own twisted way, that was nearly a compliment." Hermione could barely keep the venom out of her voice.

"My only question is: why do you do it?"

Hermione took a deep breath. There were so many things she could say. So many answers to that one little loaded question. She exhaled. 'Keep it simple, stupid,' she reminded herself.

"This is what I want. I want to be with the Ministry."

"Very well then. Your schedule will change, effective next Monday. You will be taking all the same classes you are now, except with the Seventh years. Keep up, or throw your dreams out the window." She gave Hermione a stern look. "Screw up and not even your grandfather can keep you in this school."

"Yes, Professor Umbridge," Hermione said dully as she got up from her seat.

"You have the rest of the week off to prepare for your new schedule. I would use your time wisely."

"Thank you, Professor Umbridge," she chanted once again before leaving the toad's office as fast as she could.

Hermione couldn't keep the smile off her face even as she sat down in Flitwick's class next to Malfoy. She was pretty sure that the bastard was only nice to her because they were related—he usually didn't give a toss about MBs and HBs—but it was nice of him to say a nice word about her to Umbridge. Him and Zabini were her closest things to friends at Hogwarts. They didn't hang out exclusively though. Malfoy and Zabini were so popular they could be friends with anyone, but they had a bit of camaraderie that meant they stuck together. As Zabini had so elegantly put it, "Who needs friendship when you can so wittingly provide me with the painful truth and biting sarcasm? No one else can provide me with that, Granger."

"You're late, Granger," Malfoy said simply and pushed his notes towards her before taking them back.

She bit down a laugh. He always offered her his notes before remembering she never needed them. "What if I needed them?" she whispered back.

"You never do; you're light years ahead of us and you know it. You could probably give this lecture."

"You're right," she said with a smirk. "Which might be why I'm going to take Seventh year courses this year."

"You've got to be kidding me," Malfoy said, disgusted. "Can't you just be normal for once? Screw them. You know what people are going to say now?"

"I didn't exactly beg for this," she told him. "I'll tell you after class, because unlike me, you actually need to pay attention."

"WHY NOT?"

Lavender was in Professor Umbridge's office and she was seething.

"Your grades are excellent, Ms. Brown. It's just that you've never shown that much drive towards the academic realm," Professor Umbridge answered, infuriatingly calm.

"I'm just as smart as she is!" Lavender shrieked. She began to pace back and forth. "I take almost all the same classes as she does—I'm not an idiot!"

"Well you've certainly acted like one." Professor Umbridge put her teacup down. "Ms. Brown, I do not doubt your intelligence, just your determination and commitment."

"I've got plenty of determination! Do you not hear me yelling?" Lavender screamed.

"I don't want to hear you, I want to see you! When you can prove that you are worthy of taking advanced classes like Ms. Granger, then I will review your request."

Lavender was shocked. Since when had Umbridge begun acting like McGonagall?

"Fine." She turned to make her dramatic exit, but Umbridge stopped her.

"I'm curious, Ms. Brown, why do you want to do this?"

"Because I need to be the best. I won't come second to a half-blood bitch." She stormed out the room and slammed the door behind her. 'Quite the dramatic exit!' she congratulated herself, before remembering she was supposed to be furious, and stomped down the hallways to extract her revenge on the infuriating Hermione Granger.

Lavender was happy to find that Hermione wasn't in their room yet. She hadn't yet formulated her revenge, and an empty room offered many possibilities. However, the portrait was being especially difficult.

Iris fanned herself, and said loftily, "Any day now, dear."

Lavender sighed and slowly slid down the wall. "Could you say it again?"

"At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they?"

"The stars."

Lavender looked up. Towering above her was the six-foot tall body of the gorgeous Ron Weasley. Absolutely endearing in every way, Lavender had had a crush on him for as long as she could remember. He wasn't unapproachable like Harry was, and unlike Harry, he was more often liked than not.

"Finally," Jane sighed and swung open.

"Thanks," Lavender groaned. "I'm absolutely hopeless at riddles! How did you know the answer?"

"I got my mum a riddle-a-day calendar for Christmas one year. She'll include one or two in her letters sometimes." He smiled and Lavender wanted to melt. No, she wanted him!

"I've always wanted to see the inside of your place," he confessed bashfully.

Lavender perked up. It was like he was reading her mind! "Come on in! Take a look." He offered her his hand and she took it to help herself up.

He let her go in first before he followed her in.

"Wow, that's…interesting."

She knew what he meant—the room was a disaster. As a "bonding exercise" suggested by Professor McGonagall in their fourth year, they got to redecorate their room. As a result, a thick black line ran down the middle of the room separating their sides.

Hermione's side was painted a dull gray with black stars of different shapes and sizes here and there. There was barely room to walk on her side; bookcases and books took over most of the space on her floors, walls and even her bed. Her comforter cover was black and her sheets were coffee ground brown. Her side was pleasing, but in a bland, impersonal sort of way. At least everything on her side was immaculately neat and organized unlike Lavender's though.

Lavender's side was painted a shocking orange with a white comforter. And if that wasn't a big enough contrast to Hermione's side, there were clothes strewn everywhere. There were pictures of her and her friends, her family and little knickknacks littered everywhere. The overall effect was shocking.

"It's nothing too special, but at least we got to decorate it." Lavender giggled. "I know, I know! I'm just glad they didn't make us decorate the bathroom too! That might have been too much to handle."

"Definitely," Ron agreed.

"Now you know why I never invite anyone to my room," Lavender blushed. "Well, this and… Hermione."

Ron winced. "Oh yeah, I forgot about what happened to Dean." He looked around frantically. "She's not here now, is she?"

They both broke out laughing. Lavender said, "Thankfully, she's off lurking somewhere else. I don't even want to think what she'd do to you if she saw you in here."

"Me neither," Ron admitted. There was silence for a few seconds before Lavender said hurriedly, "Why don't you sit down on the bed? I'm sure I can find some biscuits somewhere to munch on before the shrew gets back."

"Why is she so bad tempered?" Ron asked as he pushed some of Lavender's clothes off the bed and onto the floor.

"Sexual frustration would be my first guess," Lavender said and Ron let out a laugh.

"I can definitely see how that could make someone grumpy," he said. "But couldn't she fix herself up or something? Find a guy who's willing to risk a few snaps for some erm… gratification?"

"If she was interested in guys I think she would," Lavender said. "Ah! Found them!" She brandished the packet triumphantly.

"You mean… you think she swings the other way?" Ron asked, astonished.

"She's friends with Malfoy and Zabini, and no matter how odd those two may act sometimes, they are red-blooded males and they seem to tolerate her to the point of friendship… if she was interested she would have made a move already on Zabini because she's related to Malfoy." She stopped talking long enough to pile the biscuits on a plate and to sit down next to Ron on the bed.

"Oh, yeah," Ron said. "Doesn't that creep you out, though? Sleeping in the same room as her knowing that..." He shuddered.

"To be perfectly honest, she creeped me out far before I suspected she was a lesbian," Lavender said dryly.

Ron laughed again. "You're much funnier than Dean gives you credit for," he said.

"I'm not with Dean." Lavender had a hard time keeping her voice from being breathy. She wanted to sound in control! Not desperate!

"Thank God." A sharp, crisp voice ruined the moment so perfectly that Lavender thought that no one else could've killed it better.

Hermione stood in the doorway, torn between looking amused and mad.

"I guess I'll go then," Ron mumbled, blushing red to the tips of his ears. "Bye, Lavender. Hermione."

"Bye, Weasley," she said, clearly over the moon about something.

As soon as Ron was out of the room, Lavender snapped, "What are you so happy about?"

"Oh, nothing!" Hermione said happily and ensconced herself among her pillows on her bed.

"What did Umbridge want?" Lavender asked.

"Oh… I'm taking Seventh year classes starting next week," Hermione said nonchalantly, but with a huge smile on her face.

"Congratulations," Lavender said tonelessly. Inside, she was furious! She needed a way to get back at the dream-snatcher before she lost her temper.

"So, what did the Weasel want?" Hermione asked. "He looked awfully flushed when he left."

It was like God was smiling on Lavender today, telling her that yes! Opportunities to completely ruin Hermione Granger's life did come on days like these!

"He was looking for you, actually," Lavender said, trying to sound as uninterested as possible.

"Why didn't he talk to me then when he left?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Isn't is obvious?" When Hermione didn't answer, Lavender said, "He has a crush on you, dimwit."

"Oh." That one word was enough for Lavender to hear the slight pleasure and embarrassment in her voice.

"Yeah, awkward, huh?"

"Yeah," Hermione said softly. "I just don't—"

Lavender cut her off. "Have any experience with boys?"

Hermione nodded.

"Don't worry, I'll take pity on you. Well the first thing to do is to let him know that you like him back! In fact, why don't you sit next to him during Potions tomorrow?"

"And that will tell him that I like him?" Hermione asked faintly.

"Well, no silly! That's just setting the foundation." Lavender turned away and pretended to busy herself with cleaning up the biscuits to hide her evil smile from Hermione.

"I don't have class with you guys for the rest of the week, but I suppose I can go to one more day of lessons…" Hermione trailed off.

"Perfect," Lavender said cheerily, before adding nastily, "Maybe you'll suddenly decide to become normal after all."

"And maybe hell will freeze over and you'll stop being a bitch!"

An owl tapped at the window interrupting the brewing fight. It was on Lavender's side, and seeing that it was for Hermione, Lavender got up with a sigh and went over to the window to open it.

"Can't your bloody bird come at a normal hour?" she whined. The bird flew over to Hermione, who quickly detached the letter and sent the bird on its way. Lavender laid back on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

"Some things can't wait until morning," Hermione said with an acid tone to her voice.

"Yes, because you are just oh so important! You and your grand total of TWO friends."

Lavender waited for a response and hearing none rolled over onto her stomach to watch Hermione. Her face was oddly pale and frozen. It was paler than usual and her body quivered.

"What no witty comeback?" Lavender attempted to break the uncomfortable spell. "Probably because it's true, huh?"

After a long pause and a deep breath, Hermione said, "Maybe so. But at least I'm the one being recommended to the Ministry." She got up from her bed and walked briskly to the door before Lavender could say another word.

"Rose!" Hermione called through the door to the Ravenclaw common room. "I know you can hear me! Open up! This is important!"

The door to the Ravenclaw common room opened and Rose's irate head popped out.

"Can't you see you're embarrassing me?" she hissed. "Couldn't this wait until morning?"

"Mum's dead." Hermione decided to cut the chase and get to the point. Bluntness worked better on Rose than trying to soften the truth. If you tried to make it easier on her, the wimpier she got and the more she cried.

Rose's eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly, before her features twisted up completely with a frown.

"Don't joke about a thing like that!" Rose cried.

"I'm not joking, Rose! Here's the letter!" Hermione said bitterly as she thrust the parchment under her sister's nose for her to read.

"The funeral is next week," she said stiffly.

Rose read the letter and burst into tears. Hermione didn't wait for them to subside before saying, "Remus is going to come get you tomorrow, so get packed."

"Wait, aren't you going?" Rose sniffled.

"I can't. I start my Seventh year classes Monday."

"Isn't our mother's funeral more important than some dumb classes?" Rose sobbed harder now.

"No, of course not," Hermione soothed. "But, Rose, this is my only chance. If I don't get an "O" in these classes I'll never be able to work for the Ministry, or be someone,"

"You are already someone!" Rose protested.

"SOMEONE IMPORTANT!" Hermione exploded. "Doesn't it ever bother you, Rose, that we are less than them? That we're less than them because of something that we can't change? But if I slit my wrists, Rose, and died right here, I can assure you that my blood would be the same color as theirs! I bleed, I cry, I long, I feel just like they do, and yet they get to be SOMEONE while I'll sit here and be NO ONE because of something that I can't control! Rose," her voice got softer. "Mum would understand. She always wanted the best for us; that's why she divorced Daddy and went back to the Malfoys. She wanted us to have the best in life, to be able to go to Hogwarts. If I don't attend those classes, I'll be throwing her death back in her face, Rose. Because you know he killed her."

Rose gasped and cried harder than ever. "I know, I know, Hermione! I'm scared! I don't want to go alone!"

Hermione shushed her and took her sister's hands in her own. "You won't be alone, Remus will be there with you, don't worry."

"I want you," Rose sniffled.

"I need to help myself before I can help you, Rose. I want to, but I can't. I'm not strong enough." Hermione's voice nearly cracked, but she didn't shed a tear.

"That's why we're not going to tell anyone."

"What? We're not going to tell anyone?" Rose was shocked.

"No, we're going to pretend like this never happened. If anyone asks where you went, I'm going to tell them that you went in for treatment."

"But, but... Hermione, that's a lie! They're going to find out!"

"Anything's better than having them look at me and go, 'Oh, look, there's that weird girl, Hermione. Did you know that her slut of a mother just died?'" Her voice became harsh and brutal.

Rose was in hysterics now. "Take it back, Hermione! Take it back!"

"No!" she snapped. "The last thing I need and want now, is sympathy." She got up from where she was kneeling on the ground.

"Remus is coming tomorrow at eight. You'd better be ready by then," she said coldly. "Sorry I embarrassed you. You should probably get back to your friends now."

Rose whimpered and nodded weakly before wheeling around.

"Oh, and Rose?"

Rose stopped. "Yes?"

"Tell her goodbye for me. Tell her that I love her and—"

"And?"

"Thank you."