Chapter 08

Hers alone

Sakuno,

My computer was torn apart! long story. so here I am writing a letter to you. wow! its been three months since the first time you had your practice for the play and before you know it.. its just weeks away. oh.

ongratulations! I am so proud of you.. AND, i know I shouldn't bring this up. but I think the junior guy really likes you.. besides, YOU are the one who said that you NEVER SAW ryoma for three months straight. you ignored him, remember? so maybe its time for you to get close to other guys. saa i have to go.

-Tomo!-

Tomo,

TOO BAD! you have to get your computer fixed asap. anyway, thanks!

really, time flies. anyway, you're right he's out of my life and I haven't seen him. thank heavens! but I still have to think about it. I have totally forgotten HIM. But, I have to wait for things to go on..

sakuno..

I closed the letter and passed it on to Sakura who just smiled at me and slid it into Tomo's bag. I look outside the window and see the perfect view- trees dancing with the wind and the clouds are moving faster than usual. Time went by so fast and now, I'm here sitting in my desk like nothing happened.

I wanted to believe that nothing actually happenned but that was not

possible.. It was as if the universe existed just to guide me to him.

Miss Kaoru is really great. She just pushes me to do everything that I

ould and make me better and so is the rest of the guild. Tomoka and Sakura are really supportive and they are the things that I treasure the most right now.

Ryoma-

I saw him the other day with Natsumi. They were coming towards me and I just felt so weak I couldn't even stare at him or wave hello. My body refused to do what my mind told it. He was always like that, He always made my mind weaker.. he clouded my judgement..

Okay. I lied.

I lied to everyone including myself. I've convinced everyone that I'm alright even if they keep saying reassuring things..

"Don't worry, you'll find another guy"

"He really is an ice prince.."

"Uh- that guy! I knew that it was wrong for him to date you after being with that natsumi girl.."

I knew they wanted the best for me but it was just torturous.

Actually, I have not forgotten about him. I can still remember everything that happenned from the very first time we met, the three days we were together and every glimpse I have of him.

Everything will NEVER be forgotten.

I can still remember the time that he saved me from the high school boys in the train and the look in his face when I said sorry for giving him the wrong direction.

The look in his eyes when Natsumi was near and we were together.

The almost kind facade he had when he asked me to the dance, and the feeling that I had touched heaven that time.

The time that I almost tripped when I saw him before the dance...

And the anger,hate and weakness when he proposed for the contract.

Its really sick that I can't forget the time the world stopped just to see us dance in the dark.. It was a priceless moment that I want to give up.

I avoid looking at his classroom everythime I pass by, but he controlled my soul. I always turn and just see him there. Head down- sleeping or looking out the window (I developed that habit recently too.).

As I walk in the school grounds, I always wish that I could just erase that part of my Life with him and just keep the good and innocent memories. But That's not possible, I guess- Memories can't all be good. Things that are painful or great won't fade away that easily. I gaze at the tennis court. A place I refused to visit for quiet some time but somehow my feet got me there.

I closed my eyes and felt the wind fanning my hair.

This was the place were we said goodbye. Were I said that I never wanted to see him again.

I lied.

I still love him.