CHAPTER 3: THE PLAN SET IN MOTION
"How long is this supposed to take?"
"Well," Lee started, "Ishida-san said the supplies should be here before the end of the week, and I talked to--"
"Not the mission. Starting a baby," Gaara clarified, looking at Lee from across the glossy surface of his polished wood desk as if his boyfriend had lost his mind.
"…right…" The Sand nin had seemed antsy all morning, going about his duties distractedly at best. It was really uncharacteristic and had Lee a bit worried. It had also put few of Gaara's most steadfast Jounin in a state of sheer terror; a twitchy Gaara was nothing to shake a stick at.
"It's been two weeks," Gaara continued, dragging Lee out of his thoughts. "We must be doing something wrong."
When he said it that way, behind the desk and wearing the Kazekage robes of office, it seemed strangely like an official proclamation. Lee rubbed absently at a bruise on his arm he'd picked up during training and peered hesitantly down at a stack of mission requests on Gaara's desk. Thankfully, none of them appeared to involve child-bearing.
"Well, I think it depends, really… I mean, I know sometimes it happens right away, but other times it can take months, even years… I think…"
Gaara took off his Kazekage hat, crossed his arms, and gave Lee a Look. It was the kind of Look Lee got when he stubbornly put himself at an unnecessary (but very useful!) risk during a mission, or insisted that Gaara visit Gai-sensei with him.
Now about that. It wasn't as if Gaara disliked Gai-sensei. Of course not! And Gai-sensei adored Gaara, enough to share his very elegant words on Love in the Springtime of Youth! But no matter how hard he tired, Lee could never make Gaara understand what Gai-sensei meant to him, and his boyfriend didn't quite know how to handle it. Gai-sensei was the first one to ever have confidence in Lee, to cheer him on, to tell him he was worth something! And even if the two of them didn't exactly see eye-to-eye sometimes, Lee knew that Gaara still respected his dearly loved sensei's--
"Lee." Oh yeah, baby.
"Well… come on! It's not like it's something I've had to think about before!" Lee protested. "You're the one who came up with the idea. I mean, not that I'm not happy with it or anything, I don't want you to think that, but I told you I didn't even know if it'd work! I mean, what if the jutsu cancels or something? Or you release it when the baby's born and…"
"It won't. Everything will work fine."
"But since there's no way to know until you do it--"
"I'm strong enough to hold the jutsu for the required period of time. And even when I release it, its effects will remain. If a Katon is cancelled, what's been set on fire keeps burning. If a Suiton drenches an opponent, they don't suddenly become dry when it's released. The jutsu only facilitates the change. Since you can't use chakra, maybe you haven't thought about it."
"But Gaara…" Lee started to protest before he realized he wasn't sure what he was protesting about. Maybe the part about his inability to mold chakra stung a little, even if he knew Gaara didn't mean anything by it…
"I didn't think it would be so difficult to cause an egg to be fertilized, especially when my body is almost constantly releasing them. Human women do it all the time without this sort of special measures. Sometimes," Gaara added with a pointed nod, "when they don't even want to."
Lee idly wondered exactly how much Gaara knew about pregnancy and where he'd learned it. Being who he was, he'd certainly not heard the same barracks talk Lee had, and Lee knew he hadn't attended the Academy seminar. "Well, let's at least give it a few months, Gaara," Lee told him, "There's no need to overreact."
Gaara frowned, clearly unsatisfied with this proposal. Crossing his arms, he slowly walked to the front of his desk to come face to face with Lee. He seemed deep in thought, though over what, Lee didn't know.
Seeing him with such a concerned expression on his face instead of his usual blank one, Lee realized this whole affair must be putting an incredible amount of strain on him. The intricate plan they'd worked out, telling his siblings, arranging the necessary changes and mentally preparing for the new addition to the family… Lee was sure it must be taking its toll on his boyfriend. Even Lee was having a hard time adjusting to the idea, and he wasn't the one who was going to carry the baby!
He wondered if Gaara had decided the whole thing was just too much effort. His responsibilities to Suna were too great, and he'd realized he couldn't balance both them and being a father… or mother… or whatever-- Lee hadn't figured out the technicalities yet-- along with them. Yes, that was probably it. And in truth, Lee couldn't blame him. Surely it was time to halt their efforts, to rethink the--
"We need to have more sex," Gaara declared.
"Whah!" Lee gaped and nearly fell over. That wasn't quite what he'd been expecting!
"Surely you don't need me to explain once more how a pregnancy is accomplished using this particular jutsu."
Lee blinked. And recalled the first time Gaara had "explained" about the physical aspects of his impending pregnancy. About how exactly he could still be a man, yet possess the very female anatomy needed to carry a child. And then, while Lee had stared at him blankly, he had obligingly dropped his pants to verify his claim. The resulting nosebleed had ruined a perfectly good training suit.
"No! No, that's alright, I remember!"
"Then we need to do it more often. This is the only option. At least twice a day. Or maybe three times if I can make room in the afternoons… or maybe several times per night. And afternoons as well. Do you think six times per day would be sufficient, Lee?"
"Uuuuh…" Stumbling back into a chair, Lee suddenly felt very, very tired. Pleasantly horny, but very, very tired…
XXXXX Several Weeks Later XXXXX
Gaara threw up in the middle of a meeting of his senior Jounin advisors.
Lee blamed himself. Gaara had been overworking himself lately, and he should've noticed that the Kazekage wasn't feeling well. He wanted to smack himself for his negligence. Boyfriends were supposed to know this sort of thing!
But lately he'd just been sort of… distracted…
Now it bears mentioning that although he enjoyed a number of different activities with his boyfriend, two of Rock Lee's favorite things to do with Gaara were training and sex. (A mix of the two could also be nice.) Over the years, he'd come to realize that his two favored Gaara-centered activities had a number of things in common. Notably the fact that whenever he did either of them too much, he passed out from exhaustion in strange places.
Some time ago, Lee had decided that occasionally waking up with his face in his rice bowl wasn't really all that bad, given that Gaara was happy. Well, 'happy' might've been a bit too strong of a word to use in his boyfriend's case… but satisfied at least. Not unhappy.
But now that the Kazekage had his mind set on this whole baby thing, satisfying him was slightly harder to do. And really distracting! Of course a constant supply of youthful, athletic, incredibly hot sex wasn't something Lee really felt comfortable complaining about. But how was Lee supposed to pay attention to anything else with an insomniac boyfriend constantly trying to jump his bones?
So even though it wasn't an acceptable excuse for being so unobservant, Lee decided he could eventually forgive himself for not noticing Gaara's state immediately. That was a good thing, because he was SO tired, and this way he only imposed 5,000 press-ups upon himself instead of the 10,000 he'd have normally done.
And really, who even knew a Jinchuuriki could puke anyway?
Just after the event in question, Gaara looked down at the messy puddle at his feet as if it were some strange new animal he'd just discovered. "I vomited," he declared prosaically.
His men, of course, were in an panic, torn between wanting to respectfully assist their Kage and getting the hell out of there before something way worse happened. It took one of Gaara's personal ANBU guards to settle the situation and Lee to coax Gaara next door to his office. Once there, Gaara seemed a bit stunned by the whole affair and sat mutely in his chair, hands folded in his lap.
Lee took a concerned but thorough look at him, and Gaara seemed fine now, physically speaking. Hesitantly deciding there was no reason to make him explain this more times than necessary, he leaned back against Gaara's desk and waited.
Kankuro was the first to get there.
After Lee and Gaara had broken the big news, both Temari and Kankuro had decided to keep close tabs on their baby brother. Lee was glad for the support at the moment, since he really had no idea how to tackle a sick Gaara, though on the whole it hadn't been such a great arrangement. Considering all the sex that was involved in the baby-making process, it had led to several awkward situations which had undoubtedly scarred all parties involved. Well, except Gaara, who didn't seem to understand what all the fuss was about.
"What the hell's going on?" Kankuro demanded.
"I vomited," Gaara told him, in the same tone one might use to tell someone he'd just changed the empty roll of toilet paper.
"WHAT!"
"It's okay," Lee assured him. "He's really--"
Temari burst into the room and stormed toward her youngest brother. Lee had to stumble to keep his footing as he was pushed roughly aside. The blonde stopped at a safe distance from Gaara and eyed his silently sitting form cautiously. "I heard what happened. How do you feel?"
"I'm never eating eggs again," was his seemingly non sequitur response.
Lee blinked. "Eggs?"
"I had an omelet for breakfast."
"Oh…"
Temari looked at Lee, face unreadable, before turning back to her youngest brother. "Alright Gaara, stay right there. Don't be angry, but I'm calling a doctor. There's an excellent mednin who-- Oh. Or is there something wrong with…"
Lee knew what she was thinking. Maybe Shukaku was taking advantage of the situation. Gaara was tired and had let his control slip, and…
"He's fine," Gaara told her, "And I don't need a doctor. I'm not sick."
"What are you talking about? You just threw up!" Lee insisted loudly and rather animatedly. "You've been working too hard on other things to hold a jutsu for this long! Gaara, this isn't safe for you to do! If--" Lee sighed and walked up to his boyfriend, leaning down a bit to get to his level. He continued in a low, measured voice. "If it's already upset your system this much, imagine what it'll be like later on. And what if… I know it's unthinkable, but what if you lose control?"
"Bowl-cut's right, Gaara," Kankuro added from beside him, shaking his head. "As much as you wanna do this, maybe this whole getting pregnant thing… I mean, why don't you two just adopt? Or maybe find a surrogate--"
"But I'm already pregnant."
All of a sudden, Lee felt rather faint. And strangely, the room abruptly became very dark. And started to spin. And then tipped sideways. Luckily, Gaara wasn't tipping, and Lee felt his strong hands take hold of him and sit him down in the chair Gaara himself had just been in.
"How long?" he heard Temari ask.
"For about a week," Gaara's voice replied.
Kankuro swore.
"Well then… it's probably morning sickness," Temari said. "Right?"
"I'm not sick," Gaara reminded her. "I feel fine."
Lee blinked up at the three blurry figures as if they'd suddenly begun speaking a foreign language. In truth, he sort of felt like they were. As they continued their conversation Lee turned to stare hazily at the far wall, hearing but not hearing what they were saying. Formula? Bibs? Diapers? What did it all mean?
"Hey!" He felt Kankuro clap him roughly on the back. "Congrats, huh?"
"Whu?" Lee asked, feeling shell-shocked. Congratulations? For what? He didn't do anything…
Leaning closer to his ear, Kankuro murmured, "This means you two're gonna lay off the hanky-panky some, right? 'Cause frankly, I don't know how much more of that I can take."
"Uh…" Lee swallowed. Hanky-what?
"So aren't you going to go into some big speech now, Lee?" Temari asked expectantly.
Lee regarded her blurry form blankly. "Huuh?"
"Yeah, you know," Kankuro said, frowning, "about the Springtime of Youth and the Miracle of Life and all that shit?"
"M… miracle of life…?" Lee questioned, finally focusing well enough to see both of Gaara's siblings staring down at him anxiously.
Kankuro shrugged, and Temari looked strangely put out. "Never mind," she told him, "I'm sure it's best this way."
Lee blinked. He was way too tired right now to think about miracles and youth and stuff right now. After all, he'd been having sex six times a day for the past three weeks! And now that he thought about it… Hey!
"Gaara! Why didn't you tell me earlier!"
Gaara regarded him expressionlessly. "You didn't ask."
Lee's jaw fell open, and if he hadn't already been sitting down, he'd have fallen over. "But I've been-- We've been-- Gaara!"
"You didn't seem to dislike it," Gaara said with something that might be interpreted as a leer by someone observant (or unfortunate) enough to recognize the expression.
"Well, that might be true, but…"
"If you two are going to talk about that, we're leaving." Temari said, somewhat nervously. Kankuro muttered something about nightmares.
"Leave. It was just the eggs," insisted Gaara. "They didn't taste right."
"Well from now on, if something don't taste right, don't eat it, alright squirt?" Kankuro told him, cautiously mussing his already disheveled hair as he headed toward the door. "You gotta worry about the baby now, right?" he said over his shoulder, shaking his head in what was probably disbelief.
Right, the baby… and Gaara getting sick… Yeah, Lee should probably say something about that…
"Never fear, Gaara!" he declared, springing out of his chair with a clenched fist. "You're in good hands now! As a future… ah… mother, you deserve the best care possible! I will personally see to all your meals to make sure they are baby-friendly and delicious! That's my promise! Let's work together on this, what do you say?"
Silence.
"Riiiiight," Temari said, giving Lee an odd look. "Good luck with that then," she said as she walked out.
His sister gone, Gaara nodded minutely at Lee, a small smile playing across his lips. "I'm going back to work now."
And he left.
Lee blinked dazedly around the now very quiet, very empty room. So… Gaara was pregnant. Wow, he thought dazedly. Cool. And then he sighed, plopped back down in the chair, crossed his arms in his lap, rested his head back, and took a well-deserved nap.