Notes: The background story on Gaara and Lee's relationship and Sakura is Maldoror GW's, not mine. I'm not cool enough to have thought it up. Thanks to everyone for all the reviews! They make me giggle as I write! Just to address one very thoughtful comment: yes, I realize that having sex six times a day isn't the best method for getting pregnant. Low sperm count and all that. However, we'll just have to assume that either a) Gaara doesn't know this, or b) Gaara doesn't care. Lee is pretty damn smexy, after all. Thanks, and please continue to point any possible errors out to me (I've never had a baby, so some things I just don't know)!

CHAPTER 4: Konoha Bound

Gaara planted his feet in a solid offensive stance, crossed his arms menacingly, and sent a death glare straight at the refrigerator.

"Um… Gaara?" Lee questioned, scratching the back of his neck anxiously, "Are you going to open it and get something to eat, or are you just going to stare at it?"

"I'm just going to stare at it," Gaara informed his boyfriend in his usual humorless monotone.

Lee sighed. Despite his best culinary efforts, Gaara had been throwing up fairly regularly for the past several weeks. If he threw something up, he declared that the food 'didn't taste right,' and he refused to go anywhere near it. They were running seriously low on things he'd eat anymore.

And if that wasn't bad enough, Gaara had recently begun lying to Lee about it, saying he hadn't thrown up when he had. When Lee asked how he could do such a thing, Gaara had said something like, 'Your constant inquiries on my health are irritating,' which Lee's brain had automatically translated into 'I love you and feel bad for making you worry about me.'

"Look, I know it's hard, but you have to eat something," Lee told him. "It's not good for the baby to do this! Or you!"

Gaara's frown deepened and Lee saw him clench his fists, arms still crossed. "I don't like vomiting."

"Well of course not! But that doesn't mean you should stop eating!" When Gaara didn't respond, Lee added cautiously, "I still think you should see a doctor."

"I'm not sick. And we decided not to let anyone else know yet. It could be a liability. We've been over this."

Lee sighed. Yes, they'd been over and over this, Gaara refusing help every time. Lee felt like he'd make more headway banging his head against a brick wall. In fact, maybe he should. Maybe Gaara would pay attention to him then.

He quickly shook the thought away, annoyed with himself for even thinking something so petty. Gaara was just being Gaara. And maybe he really believed he wasn't sick. After all, with a demon backing his immune system, he probably had no idea what it felt like.

"Well then what about…" Lee searched for an idea, "what about going to Konoha? I mean, we have to go anyway, right?" he asked. Now he was on to something! "And Tsunade-sama's the best mednin there is, and you know she'll keep quiet about it. We'd kill two birds with one stone! A brilliant tactical approach! Or… are you too sick now?"

Gaara stiffened and finally turned toward Lee. "I told you I'm fine. The food just--"

"Doesn't taste right, I know! But if you feel alright, why don't we set something up and go? We can get an audience in a week, disguise it as something diplomatic, have her look at you, and… well, maybe Konoha's food will taste better! You can go eat ramen with Naruto! Or dango with Tenten! Or barbeque with Chouji! Or Gai-sensei could make you some of his Special Power-up Soup of--"

"Fine. If it will shut you up. I'll send a dispatch," Gaara conceded, finally opening the refrigerator door. He poked around for a moment before pulling out a half-eaten package of sardines that made Lee crinkle his nose. "But no soup."

XXXXX

Lee had never seen Godaime Hokage-sama laugh before.

It was actually rather terrifying, the way she was beating her fist on her desk, her abundant chest heaving, mirthful tears running down her cheeks.

"I fail to see the humor in this situation," Gaara announced, looking annoyed.

"You--" she said between raucous hoots, "you said you're--"

"Pregnant," Gaara supplied.

Which only made her laugh harder and even more frighteningly. With all that fist pounding, Lee was afraid she might break the desk. As it was, the legs were wobbling, and several messy stacks of paper had already taken a nosedive onto the floor. Tsunade's assistant Shizune was standing beside her, mouth hanging open and eyes glazed over, and didn't appear to be capable of offering any help.

Lee fidgeted. This wasn't exactly how he'd foreseen their meeting.

Lee had the greatest respect for his Hokage, and he'd expected serious concern from her (and perhaps a sound scolding. She tended to give Lee a lot of those.) Something like Temari's reaction, though with slightly fewer death glares and more motherly advice. Tsunade-sama laughing so hard they could hear her halfway to Wave Country was not really on his list of possible outcomes.

"Hokage-sama, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but this is hardly a laughing matter!" Lee exclaimed, face red with something between anger and embarrassment.

This appeared to sober her up a bit, and she wiped at her eyes as she pulled herself up off the desk. Which was good, because she looked dangerously close to falling out of that shirt, and that was something Lee really didn't need to see.

"What, now you're going to tell me you're serious?" she shook her head and chuckled to herself.

"Why would we be here if we weren't?" Gaara asked calmly.

Tsunade glanced at him, looking mildly annoyed, as if Gaara had somehow spoiled the joke. "Shizune!"

The woman started, looking around the room as if she just now realized where she was. "Yes, Hokage-sama!"

"The honorable Kazekage here," she gestured toward him offhandedly, "says he's knocked up. He wants Konoha's support. What do you think about that?"

Shizune blinked. Her mouth opened several times in what appeared to be half-formed responses that she thought the better of. After a few moments of this, she finally managed to come up with, "I… I think… he should have a full medical examination! Yes!" she nodded, looking flustered, "I think that would definitely be best!"

Lee let out a sigh of relief. Maybe they didn't believe Gaara (which he sort of couldn't blame them for), but they'd soon find out the truth. And at least this way his boyfriend would get his check-up and maybe not puke all over himself anymore.

"That sounds like an excellent idea. Why don't you go and find me a victi-- volunteer to help out with that," Tsunade smirked. Shizune nodded vigorously and all but ran out the door, scooping up her startled little pink pig in the process.

"I don't need a medical examination. I'm not sick." Gaara told her, looking annoyed.

"Yeah, well as far as I'm concerned, you're not pregnant either, kid," she muttered. "Now if you want me to listen, put the gourd down, take off your shirt, and sit… on that table over there."

Lee bristled. Hokage-sama might be a bit brusque at times, and it was true that Gaara and Lee's relationship had caused her a pretty good amount of trouble in the past, but this was just uncalled for! How could she be treating the sovereign military ruler of a powerful country like he was a misbehaving child? There was no way Gaara was going to listen to her, especially when she said it like that! Take off his shirt? For some foreign mednin he didn't even know to examine his pregnant belly? No way! Never in a million years would he--

"Lee. Hold this." Gaara held out his shirt.

Lee stared blankly at the Kazekage's bare chest as his boyfriend hoisted himself up on the table, the gourd sitting beside him with his coat and harness draped haphazardly over it. The shirt felt strangely heavy in Lee's hand. "Um…"

"Right…" Tsunade grumbled, looking put-out. She apparently hadn't expected him to strip either.

"Ah, Tsunade-sama…" Lee began, trying his best to be very, very tactful. "Why… I don't want to sound impertinent, but… why don't YOU just look at him?"

She sighed heavily. "Because then I might somehow give the impression I thought you two were sane."

"Oh…" An awkward silence stretched through the room.

It was broken by a set of quickly-approaching footsteps. The figure, clothed in white mednin garb, entered the room without so much as pausing at the door. "Tsunade-sama, Shizune-san told me you needed-- whoa!"

Lee blinked, heart plummeting in his chest as he recognized the pretty green eyes, cute pink hair, and too-adorable forehead. "Sakura-san?" Oh, this was SO not going the way he'd envisioned it…

"Ah… Lee-san? What're you doing here?"

"Uh..." It wasn't as if Lee wasn't happy to see Sakura-san. In fact, he was thrilled to see her again. It's just that her presence made the situation a bit… uncomfortable.

When he'd first gotten together with Gaara, posted in Suna as Konoha's official military liaison, Lee hadn't mentioned anything to his new boyfriend about Sakura-san. Gaara didn't know the first thing about relationships; in fact, he found the subject maddeningly confusing. He cared for Lee, and Lee cared for him-- they had a bond-- and that was all he understood. If Lee had told him he'd already pledged his undying love to someone else, even if he'd only been 13 and not so aware of the repercussions at the time, he wasn't sure how his new love would've taken it. After all, Gaara was sane now and all, but why take chances?

However, Lee had meant to tell his ex-intended as soon as possible. No matter what happened, she'd always be a special person to him, even if she hadn't turned out to be THE special person. He felt she had a right to know. But for political reasons, mainly that a war was brewing and it would look really, really bad for Konoha and Suna's respective autonomy, it had been decided that the two of them should keep their relationship private. By some strange and uncomfortable quirk of fate though, Sakura-san and her teammates found out about Lee and Gaara's relationship… by walking in on the couple making out. Which seemed like the usual mode of discovery, actually…

True it had been years, and each had more or less accepted the existence of the other once he'd explained, but Lee still wasn't sure where Sakura-san and Gaara stood with each other. And in truth, he couldn't say he was looking forward to finding out under these particular circumstances.

"Ah, Sakura. Thank you for joining us," Tsunade said, taking the new turn of events in stride.

"Tsunade-sama," Sakura started, "What're they…" she turned her head down and blushed fiercely. "Lee!" she hissed, forcibly not looking at him, "whydoeshehavehisshirtoff?"

Lee stared blankly at the shirt he was still holding, as if it had appeared there of its own free will.

"Kazekage-sama requires a confidential medical examination." Tsunade told her nonchalantly.

Sakura gasped and looked up at Lee. "Is he sick?"

"I'm not sick. If she can't see that, I have no use for her." Gaara stated. "Send her away."

"He's ah… been throwing up a bit, and…" Lee said quietly, face turned away. Oh, Gaara was not going to be happy with him...

"Um… any other symptoms?" Sakura asked, approaching the frowning Kazekage warily but doing her best to act professional.

"Well… um…" So here was the point where he was supposed to tell her. He was supposed to be happy and excited and proud and… all he wanted to do was sink into the floor.

"Right. Okay then," Sakura responded, evidently having drawn her own conclusion from his silence. "So I'll have to… um, Kazekage-sama, I… need to t--touch your stomach… and maybe a few other places… so um…"

"No."

Tsunade grunted as she frowned down at a small stack of papers she'd picked up off the floor.

Lee wanted to cry. "But Gaara!"

Instead of getting upset though, Sakura just smiled patiently and motioned for Lee to come closer. "Alright, I'll tell you what we're going to do. You can stay sitting up like this, and your ah… boyfriend," she said the word as if it left a strange taste in her mouth, "can ah… stand right next to you. It'll make you more comfortable that way. Lee, stand here."

Lee felt a bit lost but did as she said, setting Gaara's shirt next to his gourd. After a lifetime of being kept at arms-length, not to mention numerous attacks on his life, Gaara still had a hard time with physical contact. Sometimes he wouldn't touch even Lee. Lee wanted to comfort him, maybe take his hand, but he wasn't sure if this was one of those times. "It'll be alright," Lee assured him, deciding to put his hand next to Gaara's without actually touching. This way, he had the option. "Sakura-san is an excellent doctor! Remember how she fixed me up that one time? She'll take good care of you!"

Tsunade snorted from behind her desk.

Sakura looked annoyed, and Lee resisted the urge to glare.

"Okay," Sakura said, focusing on the matter at hand, "now I'm just going to touch your stomach very lightly. If anything feels at all uncomfortable… I mean, if it hurts or makes you feel like you're going to vomit, tell me. It's just so I can feel your chakra."

To an outside observer, Gaara would've appeared completely normal. Well, not normal per se, but… whatever Gaara usually was. But Lee could tell how hard it was for him to let himself be touched like this, gentle hands smoothing slowly over the white skin of his stomach, and how much control he was exerting over himself to keep the sand in his gourd still and calm. Even though Lee was incredibly proud of all the progress Gaara had made toward becoming a regular person, it was times like these that he realized how far his boyfriend still had to go.

"Okay, very good. Now I can feel a bit of a fluctuation right… um…" Sakura trailed off, furrowing her brow. She held her hands still, concentrating on a spot just above Gaara's belt line. "Well, that sort of feels like…"

Tsunade looked up, a bored look on her face. "What did you find?"

"UWAAAH!" Sakura suddenly exclaimed, arms flailing as she jerked away from her patient. Gaara was startled, and his sand shifted noisily, causing Sakura to raise her hands defensively. In the process of backing frantically away, she somehow managed to get her feet tangled and ended up plopping flat on her ass. Wide-eyed, she pointed up at Gaara. "He-he-he--!"

"Oh, you're fucking kidding me," Tsunade groaned as she tossed aside her papers, hauling herself up from her chair and trudging over. Without hesitation, she placed both of her hands on Gaara's stomach, seemingly unconcerned when Gaara clenched his teeth and the sand in his gourd rumbled ominously. Lee felt Gaara's hand cover his and squeeze. Hard.

"Um, not to overstep my bounds, Hokage-sama," Lee began, his hand being fairly crushed, "but you might not want to--"

"Shizune! Get me a drink! Damn it, where the hell is she?" Tsunade interrupted. "Now stop acting like a spoiled five-year-old, I'm just making sure the baby's alright. How far along are you?"

Sakura whimpered from the floor, and Lee realized he should really help her up… but since Gaara had latched onto his hand so tight Lee thought he might break the bones, moving was pretty much out of the question.

"About a month and a half," Gaara said with some difficulty. "Stop touching me."

"Where did you learn this jutsu? It's incredibly high-level. Your chakra is actively feeding the jutsu while forming a protective bubble around the developing child. I can actually feel where the chakra pattern switches from yours to the child's. Just like a woman's. It's flawless…" she trailed off.

Gaara didn't look happy. In fact, he looked very, very unhappy. And Lee's hand was starting to throb. "Hokage-sama!" Lee squeaked, "If you could--"

"No, almost flawless. It seems as if the baby's chakra is disrupting yours to a slight extent, causing a mild fluctuation… right about here. Sakura, get up here and feel this. You've been throwing up? This is probably why."

Gaara turned and glared at Lee, not letting up on his grip one iota. "I told you I wasn't sick."

Lee spluttered. So this was HIS fault now?

Sakura was suddenly up off the floor and sliding one of her hands against the top of Gaara's low-slung pants. "Oh wow, that's incredible!" Apparently her shock had given way to professional interest. "What is it, some sort of clone? I didn't realize they could be made this way…"

"No. It's his." Gaara motioned toward Lee.

Tsunade stared blankly, and Sakura's face turned a strange shade of purple. They both dropped their hands. Sakura looked down at her feet and took a step backward. Lee ducked his head and hid behind his bangs. He wished he knew why he felt so embarrassed. "Uh, yeah. It's mine."

A heavy silence fell over the room.

Finally, Tsunade broke it. "Shizune!" she bellowed, "Where the HELL is my drink?"

Lee winced, but Gaara seemed unaffected. He let go of Lee's hand, and Lee shook it to get the circulation back. "Now that you believe me," Gaara began, sliding off the table and putting his clothes back on, "can we count on your assistance if needed?"

For a moment, Tsunade simply stared at him.

Then Shizune was rushing back in, Tonton at her heels, a thick medical text in one hand and a large bottle of sake in the other. "I thought you might need these, Hokage-sama," she said, handing them over with a slight bow.

"About time," Tsunade told her. She set the book on the edge of her cluttered desk but held onto the bottle. She stared at it for a time, then began looking around, presumably for cups. After a moment of not locating any, she sighed and took a long pull directly out of the bottle.

She looked about to say something but then evidently thought the better of it. She took another drink instead.

When the bottle lowered from her lips, she was smiling wickedly.

Lee gulped.

"Alright. I'll assist you," she smirked, "With a few… minor conditions…"