Notes: I'm no longer so much into the Naruto fandom, but I'm doing the best I can to actually finish this!
CHAPTER 10: Finally!
Lee should've known Gaara's patience wouldn't last.
He couldn't stay cooped up inside, pouring over papers like a bureaucrat while everyone else did the real work. It made him nervous and twitchy, and that in turn had everyone else scared stiff and creeping around on their proverbial (if not literal) tiptoes. It was no way to run a country, with half your staff inches away from committing themselves in the local loony bin, and Lee knew this, even if it was for Gaara's safety and the safety of their baby.
When Gaara announced to him that he was going out to observe the progress of the new Genin's training, his expression serious and belly jutting out before him like the prow of a ship, or perhaps Tsunade's ample bosom gone awry, Lee could only shrug hopelessly and insist that he accompany the Kazekage. People would know eventually anyway. Maybe it was best to get them used to the idea before the baby was actually born, anyway.
Things went fairly well, in Lee's opinion. Relatively few civilians who saw Gaara waddling through the village on the way to the training grounds required immediate medical attention, and Gaara seemed oblivious to the others' gaping stares.
The young Genin took things a bit differently.
"Sensei, Kazekage-sama got fat!" one boy, a redhead missing several teeth with a bandage around his arm, announced in ear-splitting tones, pointing a dirty finger at Gaara. "How's he supposed to protect us from evil when he's FAT?"
The Jounin accountable for him, a stocky man who'd lost a good chunk of his left cheek on a covert ops mission some years before, cringed and spluttered and covered the boy's mouth and looked like he wanted to die a painful, bloody death this very instant. Or maybe yesterday.
A small girl in pigtails standing beside them made a noise and shook her head. "I think it's a tumor."
The Jounin hissed, now attempting to cover the girl's mouth as well. "It's not a tumor!"
Gaara regarded the scene with mild interest. "I am pregnant," he said.
Seventeen very wide-eyed children stared back at him. Six jounin sensei looked about to cry.
Lee realized slightly belatedly that this this trip might've been a phenomenally bad idea. They were bound to have parental complaints. Unfortunately, lunging toward the Kazekage to cover his mouth wasn't so much of an option, nor was blindfolding all the Genin, at least not at this point. If only he'd thought of that before! Luckily though, the children proved more resilient than the adults and recovered in a matter of moments.
"You can't have babies," another child, a tall brunet this time, announced. "You're a BOY."
"I am Kazekage. I can have babies if I want to," Gaara answered, eyeing the boy with unaffected calm. "But I am only having one."
"My sister's pregnant," a tiny, freckled girl confided. "Mom says it's a disgrace 'cause she's not married an' nobody's gonna wanna marry her when she gives the milk away for free. Which is weird 'cause she's lactose intolerant. She's not as fat as you, though, Kazekage-sama."
"Yeah, Kazekage-sama's big as a HOUSE!" another Genin chimed in.
"MY sister did it with a FOREIGN boy. I saw them KISSING!" someone else announced.
"If I'm Kazekage, can I have babies too?" a blond boy with wide eyes asked.
"I'm never kissing a boy," another girl announced. "That's gross, they have cooties. Especially Yayubi!"
"I do not!" Yayubi exclaimed.
"Do too!" the girl shouted back. "And you smell funny too!"
"Do all children act in this manner?" Gaara asked as he regarded the chaos he'd introduced to the scene, a pensive look on his face as he rubbed the bottom of his belly. Though he wouldn't have thought it possible, the action only made the bulge look bigger.
One of the jounin made a pained noise and covered her nose, which had begun to bleed.
"Er, maybe?" Lee offered. He sometimes forgot that Gaara hadn't had a normal childhood, laughing and carrying on with friends, with the freedom to be immature and unruly. This was all new to him.
Gaara frowned and then nodded. "Good," he said, and began his slow waddle back home, his mission, apparently, accomplished.
A daily patrol of the city's perimeters was now Gaara's main form of exercise and primary method of instilling fear into the citizens of Suna. The Kazekage's status as a, ahem, mother-to-be was an open secret in the village now. Surely other villages had gotten wind of the situation, but reports both from Suna's patrols and those from the Konoha ninja assisting them remained innocuous. Perhaps the other ninja villages were just as horrified as Gaara's own at the thought of a pregnant male Bijou with frequent mood swings and occasional homicidal urges.
In any case, things were going better than expected, and Lee himself was glad the whole thing would be over soon. Not only would the danger be over, but Lee would finally be able to see the baby! He had lovely dreams of chubby-cheeked cherubs sporting handsome green jumpsuits and clutching toy kunai bouncing happily on his knee.
Also, Sakura-san would be in Suna a full week before the baby was scheduled to come, and Lee looked forward to spending time with her. He was sure that with enough cooperative hard work, she and Gaara would see eye to eye-- become the best of friends, even! Oh, how his heart rejoiced at the possibilities!
Ten days before the Kazekage's due date, he and Lee were walking along the ramparts, thoughts of Sakura-san in Lee's head, when Gaara suddenly came to a stop and put his hand on his stomach. As Lee regarded him quizzically, he put his hand against the rampart wall and lowered himself to the ground.
"Uh… are you alright?" Lee asked. "If you're tired, we could--"
"Fine," Gaara answered, squinting a little but staying in the sort of odd squat he'd adopted.
"Okay. Great!" Lee said. "Perfect! So… what're you doing then?"
"Pushing."
"Push… pushing?" Lee blinked. "Pushing what?"
"Pushing," was the Kazekage's only response.
Lee's eyes lit up with panicked comprehension. "Waah! Gaara, not now! It's not time yet! Sakura-san's not getting here for another three days, and Kankuro and Temari are out on the border patrolling the--"
Gaara shook his head. "I've been having contractions since last night."
Lee gaped. "Wha-- why didn't you tell me?"
"Because it's not time yet," he replied matter-of-factly.
"But-- but if you're having contractions, then it IS time! It's--" Don't panic, Lee told himself. Remain calm, and don't panic. "Wait, Gaara! Stop! We have to get you back inside!"
"No," Gaara told him.
"Gaara! You can't do that here!"
Gaara only grunted in response, his jaw clenched and face turning redder. Lee realized he was holding his breath as he pushed.
"Gyah! Gaara! Breathe! You have to breathe! In with the breath, out with the breath, in, out, in, out, in, out--"
"You're going to hyperventilate," Gaara informed him, still looking red-faced but quite composed and very obviously less short of breath than Lee.
Lee realized his boyfriend was right and squatted light-headedly down beside him. Remain calm, he reminded himself. Remain clam! "Gaara, I want the baby to come too, but you can't give birth outside in the middle of the day under the blaring hot sun on the upper ramparts of Sunagakure!"
"No," Gaara countered, "I think I can."
Lee was about to resort to tears when one of Gaara's personal ANBU suddenly appeared beside him. "Kazekage-sama," he said, "is there anything wrong?"
"Everything is fine. You can leave," Gaara told him.
Lee tipped over onto his ass. "Gaara! Everything is NOT fine! You're-- you're-- you're--"
"Kazekage-sama, please allow me to escort you back to your residence," the ANBU offered. His tone indicated that it was more of an informal order than an offer, but Gaara either didn't notice or didn't care.
"The baby has decided to come now, but everything is fine," he said, grimacing at what was most likely another contraction. "I don't require any assistance."
The ANBU paused. "Are you shitting me, sir?" he asked.
"My water just broke," Gaara told him.
"I'll get help." And he was gone.
Exactly two minutes and ten seconds later, the ramparts were surrounded by twenty men in frightening animal masks, and Gaara was calmly sucking on ice chips under the canopy tent they'd set up around him.
Lee, on the other hand, was pacing nervously just outside. He would've liked to have stayed at his boyfriend's side, but he didn't want to get in the way. That and Gaara and the Med-nins had gotten sick of his constant offers of help and had kicked him out indefinitely. Now that the area was secured and Gaara was as comfortable as he could be given the circumstances, the Med-nins were standing nervously around the outside edge of the tent, wanting to help but not terribly keen on risking their lives to do it. The entire village could feel when a particularly strong contraction hit, the sand beneath their feet shifting malevolently, and Gaara obviously needed some space. Lee decided things would only have been worse if he'd been inside.
Thus Lee was left to alternately pulling at his hair and grabbing at his sides in a way which made him look as though he either had head lice or frightfully bad indigestion. "It'll be alright," he told himself and anyone else who might be near enough to confide in (and some who weren't). "Everything will be fine. Remain calm. Relax. It'll be alright…"
After approximately a quarter hour of this, an ANBU approached him. "Sir," he said.
Lee swallowed.
"I've just spoken with Kazekage-sama, and he told me to deliver a message to you, as he is currently, ah…" he made a little hand movement, "indisposed…"
Oh no. Oh no, Lee hadn't even seen Gaara speak to anyone, he'd been to busy being nervous and decidedly NOT calm OR relaxed, and oh god there was something wrong, and--
"Kazekage-sama has politely requested that you… he would feel much more at ease if you would kindly…" the man made a noise and gave up trying to say it politely. "He really just wants you to shut the hell up. You're giving him a headache."
Lee could've died of relief.
If one very wise ANBU in a tiger mask hadn't found Lee a chair, a fan, an umbrella, and a large bottle of water, biting his nails for four hours under the hot sun waiting for Gaara to have the baby probably would've killed him. Even with these precautions in place, he wobbled in his chair when he heard a collective gasp escape the waiting Med-nins paired with a low growl from Gaara. Steadying himself, he found he wasn't the only thing wobbling-- the entire ramparts seemed to be moving, the sand at his feet creeping up his toes.
The baby's here! He thought. Our baby, finally! After waiting so long and looking so forward to this day, this moment, he would finally get to see--
He passed out at the first squalling scream.
Temari and Kankuro had just finished up their mission when they spotted the ANBU. He was coming toward them at break-neck speed, leaping from roof to roof in an obvious show of urgency.
The fact that he didn't bother to conceal himself made something catch in Temari's chest. ANBU were always secretive, especially this ANBU in particular. Though she didn't know him by name, Temari recognized him by his messy orange hair as one of Gaara's personal guards.
"Oh shit," Kankuro cursed quietly as the man came to a stop in front of them.
The ANBU knelt, bowed, and then did a most alarming thing: he took off his mask.
An ANBU's mask is his greatest protection. It shields the thing which he values most: his identity; and not only from others, but from himself as well. It's easier to live with killing when it feels like someone else is doing it, nameless and faceless. Removing one's mask is done very few times in the long career of an ANBU, reserved for instances of extreme importance, when the gravity of the situation is too great for such concealment.
But the man behind the mask wasn't grave and serious. In fact, he was a rather handsome young man, possibly still in his teens, with a huge grin plastered on his face.
"It's a girl!" He exclaimed.
Temari's breath caught in her chest, a surge of adrenaline running through her. "A-- is-- holy fuck-- a GIRL? Is she alright? Is Gaara alright? Is-- is SUNA alright?"
The man nodded, still smiling fit to crack his cheeks. "And she's got the cutest eyebrows EVER!"
"Oh, thank god…" Kankuro murmured.
Temari was so relieved, she didn't even hit him.