A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed this. I love you all! Here is chapter 2. As random as ever.

Chapter 2

(At the Men's wear)

Alice was reading an article about transvestites in Seventeen when Ray came over with flowers.

"Hi, Miss…uh, Alice." Ray said smiling

"Hi Ray. Who are the flowers for?" Alice said laughing.

"They're for you." Ray said handing Alice the flowers.

"That's so sweet." Alice said, taking the flowers.

"Are you busy tonight?"

"What?"

"Would you like to go out with me tonight?" Ray asked again.

"Ray, I'm taken." Alice said nicely.

"Please." Ray begged. "Its not like I want sex…well sex would be nice with a beautiful woman like you."

"Stop right there. Do you have a midget fetish?" Alice asked.

"Miss Alice, if I did, I wouldn't be asking you out." Ray said laughing.

"I'm…um…a legal midget! I'm only 12 years old." she said, with a stroke of inspiration.

"You're funny." Ray said laughing.

Alice shook her head.

"But, YOU HAVE NICE BOOBS." Ray said.

"I just know how to stuff a bra the right way." Alice said.

"What about your ass?"

"Some children are blessed with nice asses….just like my best friend's daughter." Alice said, defensively.

"I'm still in love with you." Ray said getting closer.

"Alice baby, I've been looking all over for you," Emmett said in a high pitched voice.

Emmett wrapped his arms around Alice and started kissing her. Ray slowly backed away.

"You're Miss Alice's boyfriend?"

"I'm screwing her every night." Emmett said licking his lips.

"Oh, behave yourself." Alice said laughing.

"Spank me." Emmett said smacking Alice's butt.

Ray ran off with a hurt look on his face and Emmett let go of Alice and smiled.

"Thanks Em, you're a life saver." Alice said.

"No problem. I'm just glad Jasper and Rose didn't see that," he said

"I DID!" Jacob yelled from across the store.

"Shit." Alice and Emmett said.

"What are you doing over here?" Alice asked.

"I got into an argument with this kid and now I owe him 10." Emmett said.

Alice handed him the money laughing.

(At Women's wear)

"Where the hell is Rose at?" Edward asked himself.

Edward was now cleaning the glass door where the Xbox games were. He turned around to get another paper towel, when he saw a woman bend over.

"How on earth did she fit her ass in those jeans?" he wondered, staring.

He shrugged and continued cleaning.

"Excuse me?"

Edward turned around and it was the woman he had just got through thinking about.

"TANYA?"

"HEY, ED!" Tanya said excitedly, while thinking: Why is Edward wearing a Wal-Mart vest?

She gave him a hug, he looked like he was about to crap in his pants.

"What's wrong?" He couldn't be working here…could he?

"Nothing ass… I mean is wrong." Edward said nervously. "How is everyone?"

"They're great. How's your family doing?" Tanya asked nicely. Are they in debt? Why ELSE would they need to be working in Wal-Mart?

"Great…we're all working here now."

"And the place hasn't burned down yet?" Tanya teased. That's so sad. They must be in debt. I'd better not say anything about this.

Edward laughed nervously.

"We'll I have to go."

"Um…ok, tell Kate I said hi."

"Sure, Eddie." Tanya said, walking off. ." …Still can't believe that he's working in Wal-Mart! Maybe I shouldn't say anything…

"I can't believe I was staring at Tanya's ass." Edward said with a disgusted look on his face.

(Check out)

Jacob was sitting on the counter talking about his problems to two little old ladies.

"…And then she bit me, and told me to go home...and when I did, my dad said I was useless, and kicked me out!" Jacob said, in between sobs.

"Young man, you are not useless."

"You're attractive and you have a beautiful smile." The other lady said.

Jacob stopped crying and looked at the woman.

"Can I have your number?" he asked in his flirtiest tone.

The old lady handed him her number.

"Lucile, you should be ashamed of yourself for robbing the cradle." the other women said.

"Lucile is a very sexy name." Jacob said kissing her hand.

"You're going to give me a heart attack." Lucile said blushing.

"You've had one before AND you've had a stroke." the other women said dryly.

(At the Women's wear)

Alice was hiding behind a shelf of jeans when Jasper came by.

"JAZZ!" Alice said running over to him.

"Hey, how are you?"

They kissed, and Jasper dragged her into an empty dressing room.

"Mommy? Why are there two people making out in the dressing room across from us?" the little girl asked.

"OH MY GOD!" The women said running off with her daughter.

20 minutes later they came out of the dressing room fixing their clothes. Kendal stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Did I not make it clear enough that there is NO SEX in the store?"

"We are so sorry." Alice said with an embarrassed look on her face.

"I'm not sorry." Jasper mumbled.

"You're fired."

"Me?" Alice asked.

"No, him." Kendal said pointing to Jasper.

"Why me?"

"You said a girl was fat, you had sex in the dressing room, and you've been encouraging customers to flirt with you, despite the fact that you're married." Kendal pointed out.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked.

"You've been encouraging me to get all touchy-feely with you."

Alice glared at Jasper and walked off.

"Thanks a lot." Jasper snapped.

"Hand over the vest." Kendal said.

Jasper threw the vest at her face.

"My number is in the right pocket." he said, smirking.

A/N: I guess everyone is going to be fired one by one...lets see where this goes. I'm still not sure.

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