A/N: Yes! More insane randomness! If you haven't seen Charlie the Unicorn, you might not understand this…or thumb wars… but you'll enjoy it anyway! Here's chapter two…
Disclaimer: I do not own Sweeney Todd, Charlie the Unicorn, Harry Potter, or Thumb Wars sob… but if I did…man…
Candy Mountain, Sweeney!
"WAKE UP SWEENEY! WAKE UUUPPP!"
"Yeah you silly sleepy head, wake up!"
Sweeney woke up to find Mrs. Lovett and Toby eagerly shaking him. "Oh God…not you guys. This better be pretty freaking important! Is the shop on fire?"
"Noooo Sweeney!" said Mrs. Lovett, "We found your map to Candy Mountain!"
"Yeah Sweeney! Candy Mountain!" Toby added excitedly.
"Come with us Sweeney! It'll be an adventure! An adventure!"
"Yeah Sweeney, we're going on an adventuuuuree…"
"Candy Mountain", Sweeney said, "right… I'm just gonna, you know, go back to sleep now."
"NOOOOO Sweeney", they said in unison. Mrs. Lovett started bouncing on him, "You have to come with us to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain!"
"Candy Mountain!" Toby cried, "It's a land of sweets and joy…and joyness…"
"Please stop bouncing on me."
"CANDY MOUNTAIN, Sweeney, Candy Mountain!" Mrs. Lovett continued.
"ALRIGHT FINE!" Sweeney shouted, "I'll go with you to Candy Mountain!"
ST
"La la, la la, la la la la", Mrs. Lovett and Toby sang cheerfully as they headed through the woods on the path to Candy Mountain.
Sweeney was growing more and more annoyed, "Alright, enough with the singing already!"
"The first stop is over there, Sweeney", Mrs. Lovett said.
They approached a large, strange looking sea monster thing in a mud puddle.
"Oh God, what is that?" Sweeney asked as they came to a stop.
"It's a Leoplouredon, Sweeney!" Mrs. Lovett cried.
"A magical Leoplouredon", Toby added.
"It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain."
"Alright, you guys know there is no actual Candy Mountain, right?" Sweeney asked.
"Shun the non-believer!" Mrs. Lovett said.
"Shun."
"Shuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnaaaahhh!"
"…Yeah…" Sweeney said, his eyebrows furrowed angrily.
Suddenly, the Leoplouredon let out a stupid sound, "Rlahha uuanaeeehhhh."
"It has spoken!" Mrs. Lovett cheered.
"It has shown us the waaaaaaaay", Toby said as he and Mrs. Lovett walked ahead.
"It didn't say anything!" Sweeney argued as they strolled away happily.
ST
The trio found themselves on a long, rickety bridge over a ravine. Sweeney looked over the side nervously as he followed the cheerful two in front.
"It's just over this bridge, Sweeney", Mrs. Lovett told him.
"This magical bridge…of hope and wondeeerrr", Toby chimed in.
"Is anybody else getting like covered in splinters?" Sweeney asked looking at his hands and the bottoms of his shoes, "Seriously, guys, we shouldn't be on this thing."
"Sweeney", Mrs. Lovett called, "Sweeeennneeeeey, Sweeneeeey, Swee…"
"I'M RIGHT HERE, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
"We're on a bridge, Sweeney!" She answered happily.
ST
Meanwhile, Princess Bunhead is being held captive by Severus Snape and the Bubble Gum tribe.
"You'll never get away with this, Snape!" She said angrily, "You are bad and we are good. You're badness will be the end of you and our goodness will be our triumph. Good is good and bad is bad. Good, bad, good, bad, good, good, bad, good bad…BAD!"