DESTRUCTION
Chapter 2
NEW CHAPTER
Kashi
As the two jounin ventured toward the towering shoe tree containing the magical bees nest and guarded by Ottawa's laziest fireman that would allow them to sprout bat wings from their eyelashes in order to fly to the first moon of KittytreeX which was heavily guarded by fanfiction run-on sentences, Kakashi sighed sending bubbles of gore through the nostrils of the now dead dog-demon which had become the latest fashion craze. Fashion was enforced by the crazy one-legged elf, Carter, who would behead the first person who wore orange and purple socks after Memorial Day so the suit was crucial.
"I didn't get to even enjoy finishing the eyeballs..." he groaned, looking up at Anko who's hair was a lovely shade of chartreuse. "Stop whining meat-slave!" Anko whispered into the night. Her eyes danced merrily. "Now, we shall see, who cooks who's noodle in Connecticutt!"
The poisonous snake bike, not really a poisonous snake bike but more of a carousel of wonder, came screeching to a halt sending several 5-year-olds to their untimely deaths. "In order to enter the shoe tree palace we must defeat the Diseased Leprechauns of Sector 4!! How do you expect to do that in your meat-suit?!" Kakashi blinked with worry and the Inuyasha suit vanished, because everyone knows if you blink with worry dog-demon carcasses disapparate. Somewhere, a 40-year-old postal worker laughed at the moon. "Good." Anko nodded growling into the wind, which wasn't really wind but a gigantic fart cast from the heavens, which weren't really heavens but more likely the asscheeks of Roxuto the Flatulent Dragon. Both jounin inhaled deeply enjoying the night air.
"Nothin' like dragon stench!" Anko cried heartily toward the sky which now resembled the color of urine. Kakashi jumped from the carousel as Tonya Harding watched in amazement. It was her first time at the circus and she was getting her money's worth! "Now" Kakashi screeched like a neutered ostrich "we advance to the Miniskirt Army's hideout!"
"Yes!" Anko sang. "It is high time we taught them the ethics of childbirth and fiscal responsibility!" Kakashi cowered seductively in the bushes as Anko forced a Diseased Leprechaun to dance to an orchestrated rendition of "Black Hole Sun".
"STOP RIGHT THERE!!"
Both jounin turned around, the remnants of their Big Mac's sliming down their chins. Kakashi cocked an eyebrow as Anko cocked an AK-47.
"Who is this GHASTLY man?!" Kakashi cried
"I am no lady!" Cried the confusing hermaphrodite.
"Then what are you?!" Anko whispered as she ignored the newcomer and proceeded to conquer the frolicking fly-children in the lollypop bushes.
"I am many things!" screamed the he-she causing several birds to shit bricks, one of them hitting Kakashi on the shoulder. It was a sign that spring was on the ready. It had been a long summer.
"I'm a bitch... I'm a lover... I'm a child... I'm a mother... I'm a sinner, I'm a saint..."
"You should feel ashamed..." Kakashi said as he stole Anko's trenchcoat and clog-danced to Avril Lavigne.
"But of the many things I am, most people call me Jizzy..."
"That's a very lovely name" Anko muttered, stuffing Kakashi's severed index finger into her pocket. Nobody was allowed to steal the trenchcoat, not even the Hokage who sacrificed one genin a Tuesday so the village would not befall childhood obesity.
"You have made a claim to attack the Miniskirt Army! I've devoted my life to that faction ever since they allowed me to borrow a cup of sugar for the liquid death I was making. I call it Pepsi... but now you must pay!!"
"Here's five cents" Kakashi muttered, sending her a blood spattered nickel. His hand was healing nicely.
"Thanks" Jizzy grunted, shoving the nickel into his/her half-cleavage. It had been an eventful day, and he/she hadn't even learned the alphabet yet! "I will attack again... and next time... you will dance... " he/she called as he/she zipped through the trees on his/her not-so-magical vacuum dispenser.
Anko smiled. "What a lovely day for a picnic!"
END OF CHAPTER TWO