Hamlet:

I did love you once.

OPHELIA:

Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so

"Hello Ryan." She tried to sound cheerful but Ryan, even after two years of separation, could tell that she was feeling anything but cheerful.

"Hey—I heard you were in town."

"Yeah—I wanted to see my mom." They stood awkwardly for a moment because Ryan realized the right thing to do was to ask how her mother was. She smiled—maybe a little less forced this time—and said she was fine.

"Good—good." They again stood like two mutes and Ryan was thinking she would just walk away when she surprised him again by asking him if he wanted to get a cup of coffee.

"Sure." They walked back to the café and tried to engage in small talk. How long was Ryan in town for? A couple of day; what was Taylor doing back in America? She was going to get her advanced degree in Linguistics at Loyola. "So you're moving back to LA?"
"Yeah—I'm going up there next week." He held the door open for her and she thanked him; as she passed the familiar scent of her perfume and shampoo invited his senses and stroked his old desires. She looked as lovely as ever, maybe a bit heavier then he remembered but it made no difference for Ryan. What surprised him most in fact was how expressive she was and by the fluidity of her movements. For the past two years she had been frozen in his mind, almost like a doll, to which Ryan could create his own movements and expressions for her; today, however, as she sat down next to him at the café table, he realized how vivacious she had once been. "I hear that you're up in LA to?"

"Yeah—about a month now. I heard you talked to Frank."

"I did—but that's not who I heard it from." She paused as the waitress came by to take their order. "I actually heard it from Summer." That surprised Ryan.

"I didn't think Summer talked to you about me." Ryan hadn't meant to make his voice sound so hopeful.

"She doesn't—not really." Taylor paused for a moment, almost as if she was unsure of how much to say.

"What?"

"Well—she only told me so as to warn me—in case I ran into you."

"Funny that we ran into each other here."

"Yeah—life is funny." She didn't seem so amused though.

"I haven't really been Summer's favorite person lately." Taylor stiffened slightly; Ryan could see she was starting to feel uncomfortable, but Ryan knew he had something he wanted to tell her.

"Ryan"

"No—let me just say how sorry I am" Taylor shook her head and rose, as if she were going to leave.

"No Ryan—let's not talk about the past." She looked down upon him and tried to smile, but no expressed came forth except one of sadness and anger.

"I just wa"

"Please Ryan—let's forget about all that." She sat back down again and thanked the waitress who had brought over their coffees. "It's in the past and we have our own lives now."

"Don't you think about me?"

"Ryan."

"I think about you." She shook her head ruefully and looked at him, a mixture of sorrow and frustration in her hazel orbs.

"You know I thought about a million things I would say to you if I ever saw you again."

"And I'd deserve everyone."

"But after awhile I just forgot about it; it wasn't worth it to me anymore."

"I know I hurt you but I really"

That anger behind her eyes finally flared out: "Damn right you hurt me Ryan; do you have any idea how heartbroken I was."

"I wanted to apologize to you—I tried to apologize to you."

"It was too late; I only wanted you to love me."

"I did love you—I do." He hadn't meant to tell her that, but it was the truth. Ever since she had left his life he love and passion for her had only grown. "I was such an idiot Taylor."

"Forget about it—it's over."

"But don't you think—don't you think we can try again." She shook her head; "I can make it up to you, make up the past to you."

"You can't Ryan." He tried to reach for her hand but she pulled it away. It was only then he noticed what he should have noticed from the beginning: the small, yet tasteful diamond engagement ring on her finger.

"Taylor." She saw the blank look on his face and felt sorry for him, so damn sorry for him.

"Yeah—I'm engaged."

"I." He didn't know what to say and told her so.

"You can tell me you're happy for me."

"I am happy for you Taylor—so happy." His voice sounded so dead and lifeless to him; was it really Ryan Atwood speaking those words?

"You don't sound happy for me." She looked at him for a moment, her eyes trying to search his soul. "I'm sorry you're hurting Ryan but I love him."

"Who is he?"

"Does it matter?"

"Does he treat you good?"

"Of course he does—Marius is a very good man."

"Marius." He tried to imagine this Marius but he could not; it was too painful for him to do so. "I'm glad he's a good man."

"Yes." They sat in silence; what else was there to say?

"Are you going to be married soon?" She didn't want to answer him at first, he could see that, but he could not help himself. God how badly it hurt but the truth, no matter how badly it hurt him, had to be known. "Is it soon?"

"Next year Ryan—next year. He's going to become an American citizen."

"I'm happy for you." He knew he sounded so lame. Taylor's phone rang just then; it was her mother. "Everything okay?"

"Just wanted to see where I was; I only came downtown to run an errand."

"I won't keep you." Ryan got out of his chair but Taylor waved him back down.

"Please Ryan—we don't have to act like strangers or anything—I don't hate you."

"No? I thought you did."

"I did hate you, but not anymore."

"Do you think we could ever be friends again?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"What would be the point? We both live busy lives."

"I know—but we shared something once; I don't know--I hate the thought of not having you in my life."

"I haven't been in your life for two years; I think you're doing okay."

"I'm not Taylor—not really."

"No girlfriend?" He shook his head; no there hadn't been anyone serious since her. "I can't believe that."

"I haven't met anyone that I really like."

"I'm sorry for that." She did seem very sorry; she looked into her coffee cup and seemed surprised that there wasn't anything left for her to drink. "I just don't know about being friends Ryan. So much has happened."

"I just miss you." She said nothing and before Ryan could stop himself, he asked her if she missed him. Taylor slowly shook her head no, she did not. "Oh."

"Don't you understand that you broke my heart Ryan? I was a mess for such a long time afterwards; I think a piece of me died that day."

"I can't forget that day."

"I can't either—god I have tried to forget it but I can't."

"I want to make it up to you—or at least try to."

"You can't Ryan—don't you see that? I was willing to forgive almost anything but not that—never that."

"So it's hopeless?" She shrugged her shoulder.

"Yeah—right now I think we should just live our own lives."

"But maybe—someday?" She smiled at this earnestness, at the deepness of his feelings for her.

"Maybe—but I don't know if someday will ever come." When he said nothing she continued on: "We did love each other but I don't think we were meant to be together forever. We were there for one another when we needed each other but after awhile we served our respective purposes. I shouldn't have expected to marry you, and especially not so young. We both made mistakes Ryan and now I think what happened happened for the best."

"Because you found the guy you truly love." She nodded her head. "Do you love him more than you loved me?"

She laughed again, but not in amusement. "I knew you were going to ask me that question." Taylor looked deeply into his eyes for a moment and then sighed; she seemed tired now and would tell him whatever he wanted to know. "Do you want my honest answer?"

"Yes. Of course."

"I do love him more than you—do you know why? Because I believe he would never cheat on me or freak out about getting married and not at least tell me about it."

"I'm not good with sharing things Taylor—you know that."

"Yes—I should have known better." She was angry now and her patience was thin. "I'm telling you as a woman you can't treat people like that Ryan—you have to share things, how you're feeling." She shook her head in disappointment. "Don't you see that you blew it? You had me, I could have made you so happy but you threw it away. And for what?"

"I don't know—I was confused."

"I wish you had been honest with me, open."

"Would it have made a difference?"

"Of course it would have—I would have listened to you, helped you through whatever you were going through."

"Then there's hope for us."

"What?"

"You loved me enough to wish it had turned out different."

"You're a funny man Ryan Atwood."

"Why?"

"Because you don't give up—how can I make it clear to you that I love another man and I'm going to marry him?"

"I believe you."

"So what are you looking for? Hope? Closure?"

"Maybe both."

"I don't know what to tell you."

"I did love you."

"You made me think so."

"Does that count for anything?"

"It makes it harder to say goodbye." She rose suddenly from the chair. "I really can't stay any longer; my mom will start to think I've run away with you."

"Does she like Marcus?"

"Marius—and yes. He cooks for her."

"Good for him."

"And for me too." She held out her hand but Ryan shook his head; if they weren't going to be strangers they at least needed to hug. "Take care of yourself Ryan."

"I will—maybe I'll see you in LA."

"I wouldn't count on it—LA is a big place." Her voice sounded small, sad yet defiant.

"Yeah—it is a big place."

"I'm really glad I ran into you."

"I'm really glad I ran into you too." They hugged again and she was out the door. Ryan watched her walk out into the sunlit street, the smell of her perfume clingingly stubbornly to his clothes.