An awkward silence filled the compartment. Luke sat at the table, staring at his three sudden companions.
Harry had never left the compartment, and was sitting across from Luke painting his fingernails black. He looked up and locked eyes with Luke. "What?" he snarled.
"Nothing!" Luke said, looking over at Ron who was next to him. His red hair was no longer red, but the shade of black that one can usually only achieve from hair dye. Like Harry, he had on red contact lenses and wore pale make-up on his face. X's drawn in eyeliner went across his eyes. He was dressed in a similar manner as Harry, although with a Good Charlotte T-shirt.
Next to Luke sat Hermione, her bushy mane somehow tamed into a sleek black cascade of hair with purple streaks running through. Curls of eyeliner extended from the corners of her heavily made-up eyes. She too wore contacts, purple ones. She wore a black corset with a purple ribbon up the front, a black leather miniskirt, and black thigh-high stiletto boots.
Luke cleared his throat. "Uh... so... who wants to play... uh... Pictionary?" he asked.
"That's for preps," Ron grunted. Hermione and Harry nodded in agreement. "Preps must die," Hermione added. Another nod of agreement.
"So then..." Luke glared at Harry. "WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING IN HERE ANYWAY!?" he shouted. "I'm a Slytherin! Not that it matters, but you Gryffindor dudes are all anti-Slytherin! GAH!!"
Ron looked up at him. "They're a bunch of preps." As he spoke, Luke could see he somehow had... fangs.
"Forget you!" Luke spat, rising, climbing over Hermione, and racing out of the compartment. "I'll go find someone else... and this nightmare'll be over... yeah, yeah, that's it..." he mumbled to himself, barely realizing he could be heard. He found a different compartment and slid the door open.
"Oh, hello, Luke," Luna Lovegood said, smiling, looking exactly as she always did. Luke sighed in relief. "Luna! You're normal! I mean... you're... you're not like..." he flapped his arm futilely as he attempted to explain.
"Oh yes, I know what you mean," she said, nodding. "Everyone is acting rather differently." She looked around and leaned closer to Luke. "I think I know what it is, too!"
Luke's face lit up. "You do? Awesome! 'Cause that would totally make my job a lot easier. Tell me all you know!"
"All right," Luna said, in a whisper. "It's nargles!"
"Nargles."
"Yes!" Luna smiled sincerely. "There must have been an infestation nearby!"
"Uh... Luna?" Luke said. "Sorry to like rain on your parade and all... but it's not nargles. Some spooky ghost thing told me it was an 'evil power'."
"Oh. Well, good luck," Luna said.
"Luna... can you help me out?" Luke said. "I have to destroy this... whatever it is, and I don't think I can do it alone. You seem to be unaffected too, so I guess we gotta like stick together or something.
"Of course!" Luna smiled. "And we can look for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks while we're at it!"
Suddenly, the door to the compartment opened. It was Strong Sad... I mean Harry. He walked in and kneeled before Luke, who stared at him with what could possibly be the most confused expression ever seen. I mean, this expression could like be in the confused expression digest monthly. But I digress.
"Lucian, I apologize for making you angry," Harry said. "But I was afraid to admit to you that I... love you." He looked up at Luke, a mass of emotions somehow showing in those falsely-colored eyes.
"Harry, something is incredibly wrong with you," Luke said. "Go back to Ron and Hermione. Now."
Harry nodded. "Anything for you, my love!" he said, somehow sounding happy and depressed at the exact same time. Luke noticed Harry's arm was bleeding. The cuts spelled out "LUCIAN". It was too much. As Harry left, Luke shuddered.
"They did this to punish me. They did." Luke groaned, massaging his head.
"Oh look, we seem to have stopped," Luna said. "We must be at Hogwarts now. I'll see you later, Luke!" she said, smiling again, and leaving. Luke followed her off the train. He boarded a lonely thestral-pulled carriage (He knew there were thestrals, he just couldn't see them) and waited to be carted off to the castle.
"Remember, Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge!" a disembodied voice called into his ear. "Only you can defeat the evil that has ruined the story and return it to as it was meant to be! And only you can prevent forest fires!"
"Great," Luke sighed, "I'm employed by a ghostly bear." He closed his eyes and hoped they'd be there soon.