In the middle of writing this chapter, my computer messed up and I lost what I had written (TT) So I had to rewrite everything from memory. Hopefully it's as good as what I had...

第１７話

"Matt's Soliloquy"

Matt sat morosely on the edge of the tall brick wall, located at the end of the dank alleyway that had recently become his home. The light metal gun he secretly carried with him weighed heavy in his pocket, and the bag of stolen food stared up at him accusingly, now unappetizing to him. Outside on the main street, he could hear strangers laughing and talking, back from shopping or visiting friends. Everything around him seemed suddenly so foreign, as he knew he belonged to none of it.

It was acrimoniously painful, the bleak road he was going down. However, he told himself that it was the only road someone like him could take. No other path would accept him.

He gave a long sigh as the rain began to pour, and wondered where Mello was at the moment. Most likely, confined to his room until his parents felt nice enough to let him out. Matt knew it was his fault the other boy had gotten in trouble, and he knew Mello would probably have a much easier life if he weren't to come around again. The chances of Matt ever leaving the other boy, however, were equal to the chances of Mello giving up chocolate for the rest of his life. It was an utterly fruitless and impossible attempt. Even if his parents forbid them to ever see each other, Matt still longed to sneak over and knock on Mello's window as he had done often times before. How he longed to hear the other's reassuring voice that everything would be okay. Mello had always been there to comfort him, to reassure him, to love him. Matt felt so lost without him. Throughout everything gone wrong in Matt's life, Mello had always managed to bring some stability to his chaotic existence. He had always taken care of him. Now Matt was left to take care of himself, and look where that had ended up.

Matt wondered what Mello would say if he knew where he had been living, what he'd been doing to get food and other essentials. This mere knowledge was precisely why Matt had taken care not to tell him; because Mello would, no doubt, disapprove of how Matt was living. He'd probably yell at him for a week or two straight until his ears bled. Matt wouldn't have minded, though. If Mello yelled at him, it meant he actually cared – something Matt's parents never had done. Mello's scolding and reprimanding was something Matt appreciated more than anything.

The sky slowly began to grow dark, and Matt gave a groan. This was the time of day he hated more than anything. Even though he told himself he had no choice, that this was the only way he could live, Matt still felt the heavy weight of guilt at every sundown.

Hopping down off of the wall, Matt pulled up his hood against the rain and trudged down the sidewalk towards the suburban area he knew all too well from his nights spent scrounging for whatever he could snatch. The closer he got to the house, the louder Mello's rebuking voice was in his head. 'What are you doing? Is this really how you're going to live the rest of your life?!' he would say. 'I thought you were better than this!'

"Sorry, Mello," Matt said softly, giving a small laugh under his breath. "I'm not."

He had chosen the house days ago, and tonight Matt was surprised to find it empty. Usually he wasn't so lucky. The back gate was locked, but climbing over the fence was a small problem compared to what he usually encountered. After he had checked to make sure that this family had no overly-active dogs guarding the area, Matt hopped over and made his way to the first-story window, which he easily pried up. The soft carpet muffled his landing as he jumped inside, and he instinctively checked the room for anyone who might have stayed home. Once the coast was clear, Matt skulked into the hallway and listened for any noises. Upon hearing nothing, he peeked into the bedroom that rested to his right, the door halfway open and the inside pitch black. There was no one inside, and Matt gave a small sigh of relief as he made his way inside and crept over to the jewelry case resting on the newly furnished dresser of the master bedroom.

His eyes widened as he saw the contents, and he could feel his stomach sink guiltily as he stuffed everything into the bag he'd brought with him. Although he knew how rich these families were, and how little material possessions should mean to people who could buy expensive stuff every day, it didn't make him feel any less horrible about what he was doing. Matt silently cursed himself as he walked out of the bedroom, and began to search the rest of the house.

'I'm very disappointed in you,' Mello would say. 'I can't believe you would do this. Stop it right now!'

Matt gave a small sob. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I know...please forgive me, Mello..." He crammed more of the shimmering jewelry into his bag. "Please, please...forgive me."

The air was breezy when Matt finally arrived back outside, the climb over the fence slightly more difficult with a bag full of stolen goods. They only reminded him of his sins.

By now, the rain had stopped and for this Matt was grateful. With another long sigh, he turned to head towards the pawn shop.

第１７話　－　終

Sorry for the shortness of the chapter... I wanted to give Matt's POV at one point, so there it is. Sorry if the updates are slower, but I'm hoping to finish a new fic before this one ends completely. :)