NISHINOMIYA, KANSAI REGION, JAPAN. 1:00 PM JST

I'm sleeping on the ground again, aren't I?

How do I get myself into situations like these? There must be some higher power that really enjoys torturing me like this.

The last thing I remember before finding myself here is tripping over that idiot Taniguchi while trying to escape from, well, the only way I can put it is the undead.

It's quiet; much too quiet given the horrible screaming earlier. I only remember it being this silent when I was in Closed Space with Haruhi, as opposed to the time I spent in Closed Space with Koizumi, which was merely awkward. But wait, something's different this time. There's no annoying voice telling me to wake up. What I do know is that there is... Some sort of weight on my, for lack of a better term, lap, as well as a disconcerting presence directed at me. I'd like to know what it is, but that involves opening my eyes.

Damn it. I opened them.

I immediately regretted it.

Staring down at me under the eerie gray sky was none other than Haruhi herself. She looked like she's trying to inject me with more energy or something. Seeing that I had woken up, her face lit up into her usual breathtaking smile.

"Finally, you're up, Kyon. Sleeping in a time of emergency! You're giving the glorious SOS Dan a bad name!"

I sighed. Typical Haruhi; thinking of her stupid club at a time like this.

"Get up! This is our moment of triumph! This is the most mysterious place we've ever been in."

"I could care less if mysterious events are taking place as long as I don't get hurt. Also, I'd be happy to get up but you're on my..." It was at that moment that I remembered that the girl whom Espers claim as their God was currently straddling me.

Um, Haruhi? You're going to have to get off me if you want me to stand up.

At this she looked down as if she just realized her position. I swore her face turned a cute shade of pink, but wait, this is Haruhi. Nothing embarrasses her, and did I just say cute? This is Haruhi we're talking about, cute doesn't apply to her.

Finally, she jumped up off of me, much to my relief (and slight disappointment). WAIT! I'm not in the least bit dissapointed that Haruhi got off of my lap, nor do I think she's cute. What's wrong with me today? Oh right, I just had an intimate meeting with the corner of a desk. I'm surprised I don't have a concussion.

While I was mentally berating myself, Haruhi had started to walk in the direction of the school.

"Come on, Kyon! Don't make me leave you behind," she shouted.

Considering we've done this before and are confined to the school premises, I doubt you could. Despite this I hurried to catch up.

The next few minutes followed basically the same as last time: Us checking the power, phones, then going up to the classroom to survey the surrounding area. After that, Haruhi turned to me with that trademarked smirk of hers.

"Hey Kyon, there aren't any monsters here to interrupt us. Let's go get some food from the Clubroom."

Which monsters are you talking about? Wait, interrupt us from doing... Did you say food? Well, my lunch was disturbed by hordes of the undead. To the Clubroom it is!