Syaoran awoke with a start, realizing that he had been crying out in his sleep. His eyes widened as his glance flew wildly around the room. Oh. He was in New York, in a suite that Meiling had put him in. He coughed and pushed his damp hair out of his eyes, trying to reorganize his thoughts. He still had dreams—no, nightmares—about his past. Every single night. But it had been a while since he'd actually let them get to him like this.

"Li-san?" Someone was knocking on his door. He sleepily looked at the clock beside his bed and groaned. It was three in the morning. "Are you all right in there? It's me, Xiao Long. What's wrong?"

He opened the door, feeling oddly alert after that nightmare. Immediately his mind began searching for an appropriate lie as he barely glanced at her while speaking. "Hey. I'm okay. Sorry—you must have heard those noises. I must have leaned on the remote in my sleep," he said, adding an embarrassed laugh for effect. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that." Then he looked up at her, finished with his falsehoods. "You're still in your street clothes?" he asked, surprised.

"Oh," she said, looking down at her trench coat and pants. She was still wearing those silly sunglasses of hers, which he had to admit he would have found pretentious had anyone else done it. But then again, she had said that she was keeping her true identity secret from just about everyone. He wondered what she looked like, behind all those things. She was even still wearing a hat, her hair tucked up neatly underneath it so that he couldn't see a trace of it. "Well, I went out for a walk."

"You're not supposed to do that," he said, frowning. "I thought you promised your agent—"

She sighed. "I'm twenty, Li-san, not twelve. Why don't you come have a cup of tea with me?"

He stared grumpily after her. "Is that all you ever drink?"

She shrugged, padding over to her suite—which happened to be just beside his. No wonder she'd heard him, then. "I find that tea helps after most horrible situations. And that's really what life is, isn't it? It's just one big horrible situation."

"Here," she said, thrusting a steaming cup of tea into his hands and pouring one out for herself. "Chamomile this time instead of jasmine. I hope it calms you down a little. You don't exactly look so good. You had a nightmare, right?"

"What?" he sputtered. "No, of course not. I don't—"

"—know what I'm talking about? Sure you do," she said. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me, Li Syaoran." She yawned. "I'm pretty sleepy myself. Finish off the tea and go back to sleep."

His eyelids were already starting to droop. "Did you put something in this tea?"

"Hmm? Of course not. What a silly thing to say—that accusation is absolutely pointless. Actually, your former friend Eriol sent me that. He said it would help me sleep."

Damned Hiragizawa.

"Li-san, do you mind if I tell him that I've seen you? I'm sure that he misses you."

He clenched his fists. "Like I said, we have issues."

"Please trust me when I say that friends can forgive each other anything. I know that better than most would."

"Yeah, yeah." He drained the rest of it and set it down. "Thanks," he said, with a little bow. "That really helped." He found himself yawning and cursed Eriol again, but his last sentence was true, at least. If not for the tea, he'd probably have been unable to go back to sleep, stuck in the void of all his memories. "And, uh… yeah. You can tell Hiragizawa. But don't expect me to talk to him or anything, okay?"

She smiled softly at him. "Sleep tight, Li-san."

Hearts from Aries

Sakura suddenly looked down at the two in the middle of bantering with Syaoran. Eriol had Tomoyo in an embrace, but her best friend was just standing there, her hands at her sides. They were kissing. Tomoyo's first kiss. She stared down at them, and Syaoran, catching her eye, looked down too.

Eriol realized that Tomoyo was like ice in his arms. She didn't move, until finally she put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him away. Her violet eyes were blank, icy patches of amethyst. They were empty and lost. He let go of her.

"I'm so sorry, Eriol," she whispered, momentarily forgetting to use his last name. "I'm… I'm just so sorry. I… can't… do… this…" Then she began to take gulping breaths of air, as though she was choking, and the next thing he knew, she was sobbing on his chest as though her heart was breaking, clutching onto him for dear life. He realized, through the fog that was surrounding his mental faculties at the moment, that she was actually crying. Daidouji Tomoyo, who never cried.

It was disturbingly beautiful to see her this way.

He stroked her hair, murmuring into her ear. "No, Tomoyo, I'm the one who should be sorry. You're hurting right now." And he felt her knees give way, and he let her slide down to a kneeling position, falling right with her and ignoring the pain of kneeling on the hard linoleum floor of the school. "Come on, Tomoyo, it'll all be okay," he whispered. Her hair was so soft. Her heart was thudding wildly, and he could feel it against his.

"No, no, it won't be okay," she whimpered, unaware of the two pairs of eyes staring down at her and Eriol, so closely wrapped together. "It's been… so long… I don't think that I can handle this anymore. I've been taking it and I thought that I could keep on doing it forever, but I can't!"

"You can tell me," he said softly. "Tell me what's wrong, Tomoyo. What happened? What can't you handle?"

"I just… I'm so weak," she said, the last word coming out as a hiss between her clenched teeth. She let go of him, wiping her eyes and hiccupping slightly. "I'm really sorry, Hiragizawa-san. This is kind of embarrassing for me. I probably look like a real mess. And your shirt's all wet."

The walls were up again. "Oh Tomoyo. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?"

"Because—because there's nothing wrong!" she sputtered, trying to retain some veneer of her normal self. "Nothing that concerns you, Hiragizawa-san." The shocked hurt in his eyes made her wince, but she wouldn't acknowledge it. "Please, can we just drop this subject? I will be able to take care of it, so I don't need anyone taking care of me. I have to go wash my face. And perhaps you should dry off your shirt as well."

"Tomoyo, no, wait!"

But she was already gone.

Hearts from Aries

Tomoyo reentered the classroom, stopping only at Rika's desk to laugh over something and chat awhile. The teacher still wasn't there; he was over half an hour late, and by now the students were wondering what had happened to him. If Sakura hadn't known that Tomoyo had been crying her eyes out just moments earlier, she never would have believed it; her best friend looked just fine. The typical telltale signs of mother-of-pearl luminescence under the eyes weren't there, but Sakura couldn't see any makeup on her friend's face. Tomoyo was just that type; the kind that didn't know how to cry.

Or that was what Sakura would have believed, anyway.

"What's wrong, Sakura? You look a little out of it," Tomoyo said in concern.

Syaoran let out a deprecating little laugh, tousling his cherry blossom's hair. She let out a contented sigh, but it carried a hint of anxiety in it. He hoped that everything would be okay for Tomoyo—after all, she'd been there to listen to him when he'd had problems telling Sakura that he liked her. "You know her. She's probably spacing out because of our math test today."

Sakura snapped back to reality. "WHAT MATH TEST?"

He chuckled, and Tomoyo had to hide her grin behind her hand. "There isn't one today, Sakura. Calm down. Syaoran was just teasing."

Eriol came into the classroom now too. He looked calm, collected—just about the same Hiragizawa Eriol. He looked a little bit disconcerted, especially when he tried to catch Tomoyo's eye, but she—was she pretending?—didn't notice him at all. WHAT THE HECK HAD HAPPENED? Sakura waved him over with a warm grin, but he just smiled politely at her and gestured that he was going to talk to Yamazaki and Chiharu, who were squabbling again.

"So, uh, Tomoyo, Auntie's going to be back from her business trip soon, right?" Sakura said, stuttering a little, flustered. "You did say that she'd be home tomorrow. And you said that the two of you were going to do something together when she gets back. That's so nice, I wish—"

"Mother called and said that she won't be back tomorrow," Tomoyo said quietly, tucking a strand of her hair behind one ear. "Something about a company and a great business offer. And since she happens to be in Beijing right now, it's a fabulous opportunity. Hitting two birds with one stone, really. After that she's scheduled to be in Paris, so it'll be a while before she comes home."

Syaoran had heard that tone before. Carefully nonchalant, making light of things—he'd used those same cadences when he was younger and had to have that control over his feelings. She was clearly hiding something from Sakura.

"You want to hang out with us later?" he blurted out all of the sudden. He saw the surprise on both their faces and quickly switched to smooth, fast-talking mode—something that Eriol had forcibly taught him recently, insisting that he now needed it since he had Sakura. "I saw this really great place, and it would be my honor to take you two lovely ladies there. And I'm sure that you two don't have anything better to do, right?"

"Yeah, Tomoyo! With your mother still not there, you probably don't have anything to do over at home. It must get pretty lonely," Sakura burbled, blissfully unaware of the 'Oh-god-that-is-such-a-tactless-thing-to-say' disbelief that hovered underneath Syaoran's carefully smiling exterior. It had been a long time since he had had to fake grins for his friends, who knew him well. He really had to practice more.

"Yeah, why not? You're right. It's been a while since we've been all together," Tomoyo said with a tight laugh for her best friend's sake. "But then, you two are such a kawaii couple. Absolutely inseparable." There was something hungry about the way she looked… as though she was starving for something herself. He felt kind of guilty. Ever since he and Sakura had gotten together, the two best friends had been spending less time with each other. She was right; they were inseparable. Now, if they hadn't been in the same class, they would barely have seen each other.

"If you're bored at home, you should take up classes or something," Syaoran offered. "I take martial arts, for example. There's a great local dojo just around here. I go every night at nine."

She brightened, chewing on her lower lip as she considered this prospect. She already had vocal lessons along with the modeling that she was doing now (at her mother's insistence because, she suspected, her mother was still persisting in making her a Nadeshiko clone) but that was for her mother's sake and nothing more. "Do you think that I could maybe take martial arts classes with you?" she asked him. "I always wanted to learn. Like Meiling, maybe. She doesn't have magical powers either, but she makes up for it with her martial arts."

"But you don't have anything to make up for!" Sakura said. "You're perfect just the way you are."

Tomoyo smiled tightly at her. "Thanks," she said, sounding distant. "That's a nice thought."

Hearts from Aries

Syaoran woke up—this time, not to cold sweat breaking on his forehead as it had earlier on, but to bright sunlight (what happened to the supposed dark New York days?) streaming through the windows and blood in his mouth. He'd bitten through his lip in his sleep. He sighed and went off to wash out the copper taste, brushing his teeth furiously. He couldn't bear looking at his reflection in the mirror; he knew that he looked like crap (although admittedly, most girls wouldn't agree with him on that point…)

She didn't believe it. She never believed that she was 'perfect just the way she was'. I was so blind. We all were! She actually felt that she had something to prove. She didn't think that she was enough. Why didn't we notice that something was wrong long before that moment?

She didn't even try to fight for the one she loved because she thought she wasn't good enough.

He cursed inwardly as he spat out green foam. It was partly his fault, that time. She felt alone; he knew that feeling. Sakura had managed to discover what had happened the night before that day by using the Return card. With a frown, he checked the clock. It was already nine in the morning. What the hell? Normally he woke up much earlier than that, often getting up while it was still dark. But then, he hadn't slept very well last night, even if you didn't count that incident at three in the freaking morning, for God's sake.

The maid knocked on the door, the sound cutting through the unbearable blanket of silence that enveloped the Daidouji household save for the murmurs of the passing servants, going about the last of their cleaning before turning in. "Miss Tomoyo, your mother's on the phone and wants to talk to you."

"I'm… I'm not here!" Tomoyo shouted back through the thick wood of the door. There was a series of odd bumps and noises from inside. The maid raised her eyebrows but made no comment on the strange thumps. "Please tell her that I'm asleep, Umeko-san. It is past midnight, after all."

"But Miss Tomoyo, it may be important…"

"I'll just call her in the morning!" Tomoyo said, then let the desperate teenage edge fade from her words, replacing it with the carefully modulated tones that she normally used, as was only 'fitting'. "I already received the message that she left in my voice mail. Please. I'm exhausted and would like to be left alone right now. Inform my mother that I am indisposed."

He wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand and stepped into the shower. The water couldn't scrub away the thoughts inside his head, even as he dug his fingers viciously into his scalp, trying to wash them away.

"Tell her anything," Tomoyo whispered, burying her face into the pillow. She was so still, it was almost as though she was dead; she wasn't even crying, just gripping tightly onto the bedspread with clenched fingers twisting the fabric. Stacks of books and her homemade movies lay on the floor; she'd evidently knocked them over. "Tell her I've run away, tell her I'm dead; tell them whatever the hell will work. No one gives a damn around here anyway."

Syaoran rummaged around the medicine cabinet and immediately downed two aspirin, resisting the urge to consume the contents of the whole bottle and just finish everything off with a happy aspirin overdose. No, Meiling would kill him if he died. His ghost would never be able to rest with her yelling at his gravestone all the time, screeching at him for being an insensitive suicidal wart. He laughed a little picturing his cousin kicking at his gravestone and wailing like a banshee (hopefully his mother and sisters would be able to tie her down at that point, but with Meiling, you could never really tell…), splashing water on his face and dressing up quickly.

Tomoyo's thumbs moved mechanically over her cellphone's keypad, her eyes glassy as they reflected the number displayed on her screen. "Moshimoshi!" Sakura sang out cheerfully on the other end, followed by giggling. "Syaoran, you big fat idiot, I'm on the phone here! Would you stop it already?"

He heard his own voice coming clearly over the phone, almost as though it had been him on the speaker and not Sakura at that moment. "Aw come on, Sakura. You can't back out of a tickle fight just like that. I'll bet you're just making up the whole phone call because you're losing."

"That's because you aren't ticklish!" Sakura retorted, followed by more laughter. "I'm trying to talk to someone here, you jerk. Hello? Hello?"

But Tomoyo had already hung up.

Hearts from Aries

The phone was ringing.

Syaoran gave his cellphone a death glare as he peered at the number. It was unidentified. Probably some random wrong number, but who cared. "Hello?" he said, finally making up his mind to answer it.

"Hello, my cute little descendant!"

He hung up immediately, and it quickly started ringing again. He looked at the number. Also unidentified, but it was different. Swearing that he would murder Eriol over the phone if it was him again, he answered it. "Hello?"

The voice that came from the other line was musical and distinctly female. "Li-san, it's Xiao Lang. Meiling-san gave me your number last night—actually, she kind of made sure to give it to me for some business reason or another. Um, I don't know how to break this to you, but something really weird happened last night. I just couldn't stop myself from inputting your cellphone number into my e-mail to Eriol after I told him that I'd met you. It was kind of weird, almost as though I was in a trance or something."

That damned Hiragizawa! Using his freaky magic on innocent women! "Yeah, he called me already," he said as calmly as he could. "I wondered how he'd gotten my number."

"So, have you eaten yet? Perhaps you could join me and Meiling-san for brunch, if you haven't yet."

"Okay," he said.

"Great, we're both in my suite right now; let's just meet in five minutes." And after he murmured his assent, they both hung up. Angrily he punched in another number, and waited with gritted teeth as the phone rang.

"Why'd you hang up?" Eriol whined on the other end, sounding as though his mouth was full of something.

"The freaking hell? Didn't anyone ever teach you not to talk on the phone while you're eating?" Syaoran said in disgust. "And they call you Clow Reed's reincarnation? What retarded part of the universe decided that?"

"First of all, the universe is not retarded, but if you keep badmouthing it your head will be seen severed on a pole with a bunch of loincloth-clad people dancing around you singing the Barney song, which I happen to know you hate more than anything else on the planet—except me, naturally. Secondly, I'm eating cheese. Are you happy now?"

"Cheese? Why are you eating cheese?"

Eriol chuckled. "I happen to like cheese, my cute little descendant."

"You call me that one more time and I'll hit you so hard your ancestors will hurt," he growled into the phone. "And you, what the hell do you think that you're doing, using your magic on Xiao Long like that?"

"On who?"

"Xiao. Long. Do I need to spell it out for you?" He sighed; a little bothered by the way her name so closely resembled his. "She said that she's using a different name because she's incognito over here, and that the two of you are online buddies. She's doing a record deal with Meiling."

"Oh, that… uh, Xiao Long. Yeah. Anyway, what do you think of her? Isn't she the most beautiful person you've ever set your eyes on?"

"How do you know she's beautiful if the two of you are only online buddies? Have the two of you met before or something?" Jesus. How quickly Eriol forgot Tomoyo, when that reincarnation of Clow Reed had sworn never to forget her.

Then again, it had been five years.

"No, but magic has its benefits, especially at nighttime." As Syaoran sputtered, Eriol drummed his fingers impatiently on the table over at his end. "Answer the question. What do you think of her? Is she smart, cool, confident, or what? Does she seem all torn up over a tragic past or something?"

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about?" Syaoran snapped. Eriol always seemed to get him at his worst moments or turn every moment into a 'worst moment', making him even angrier and bad-mannered than usual. "She's okay, I guess. I've only known her for a few hours, Hiragizawa. And how am I even supposed to know what she looks like when she's always wearing those freaking sunglasses and hat of hers?"

"Really." The way he said it was a word, not a question, just like Xiao Long. But with Eriol, it seemed annoying.

"Listen, Hiragizawa, we're going to brunch with Meiling."

"Wait a minute, Syaoran." The voice brooked no disobedience, and to his consternation, Syaoran found himself listening. "Please. I think you still owe me for what happened back then, right?"

Syaoran's heart leapt into his throat. "That was a long time ago, Hiragizawa," he said, gripping his phone tightly. He knew this call was a big mistake. And deep inside, he knew that it wasn't all that long ago. "I know I owe you, but I didn't think that you'd do it now, so late in the game." And I don't know whether I can give you anything to make up for it, even if I offered you the entire world on a diamond-encrusted gold platter. "Are you still mad at me over that?" Stupid question!

"Hmm. There're two sides to that question. I'm not mad at you in general. But over that, I'm still furious. In fact, I could kill you and then dance merrily over your burning corpse because of what you did, my cute little descendant. I can't ever forgive you on that one even if you were my slave for the rest of your life and danced in a pink tutu whenever I wanted." The tone was light and merry, but Syaoran could sense the underlying frostiness. "But never mind that now. I'm calling in a minor favor from you so that it'll ease the hostility a little bit."

"Yeah, what? It had better not involve whipped cream," Syaoran warned, remembering what Eriol had tricked Yamazaki into doing when they were still fourteen—a prank that resulted in Yamazaki doing things that he didn't like very much, and which had traumatized the boy so much that he had never touched whipped cream ever again. "Or the whole 'slave in pink tutu' thing."

Eriol chuckled sadly. "No. I just want you to stick close to Xiao Long while you're here. I want to make sure that she's okay. She's really lonely, you know. And so are you, if I'm not mistaken, my cute little descendant."

"Are you trying to set me up too?"

"What?" Eriol growled into the phone. "No way. She's too good for you."

"That's what you said the last time," Syaoran said, tired all of the sudden. Then he remembered that he'd promised Xiao Lang that he'd go for brunch with them in five minutes—and fifteen had already gone past. He'd kept her and Meiling waiting. "Crap. I have to go, Hiragizawa. I'm sorry."

"I know."

Hearts from Aries