A/N: So, even though I got barely any response at all, I can't help but churn out more for this one. Hopefully I get a little bit of feedback, cos you lot love me. RIGHT?? C'mon, add to the self esteem bucket. I shan't beg. I shan't beg. I shan't b- PLEASE! Ahem. Anyway. Chapter Two. READ IT AND WEEP, SUCKERS. Oh good one. Offend the readers.

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own anything you recognise.

I woke up feeling good. Which is a rarity, believe me. My morning face generally resembles the Wicked Witch of the West, rather than that other one with all the white sparkly clothes. Yeah, that's right, I keep up with the muggle movies. That movie was fantastic anyway, all Dorothy had to do was click those sparkly shoes together and she got to apparate to the place with the yellow road and the little elves. I always wondered why they called those elves munchkins. Oh, well. She had totally cool shoes anyway. Mm, sparkly.

Anyway. I'm feeling good right now. I've showered, done all the necessary boring morning things, and I've got my robes on. I'm on my way down to the Great Hall, walking with my head in the air. As usual. You could even call it sauntering. I mean, if you've got it, flaunt it right? And I've sure as hell got it.

Ah, self affirmation. Works every time.

"Lily! Lils! Wait up you scag!"

Who the hell is that, calling me a scag. What's a scag anyway? Oh! It's Hailey!

"Hails!" I squealed ever-so-loudly, jumping on her and hugging her tight.

She stared at me, pushing me away at arms length and staring into my eyes.

"Lily. Evans. What have I told you about taking those uppers in the morning. Honestly! If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times," she started, and I could see her getting in the zone for the Big Lecture.

"Oi! Scag! Or whatever you called me. Save the Big Lecture for someone who deserves it! I definitely did not take those uppers, or whatever you so graciously call them. I am past that now, I am mature, grown up, adulty!" We both immediately cracked up, Hailey repeating 'adulty' as she attempted to breathe.

"Anyway, I really didn't take any. I've just had a very good morning so far."

"Lily, we haven't even reached the Hall yet. How can you possibly be in such a good mood? Unless... You had a good night last night!" It was as if something had suddenly dawned on her. Her face crinkled up and she was smiling so hard that her cheeks were bunching up and I was a little afraid that she would actually stop breathing and then I would have to perform mouth to mouth and her breath would smell and then she would blow up and turn into a balloon Hailey.

"You got some action, didn't you!" she squealed, letting all her air out quickly. Thank Merlin. No balloon Hailey today. Wait, did she just say action? Oh, dearie me.

"Wait, wait stop," I yelled over the top of her as she started to wonder aloud who it could be, "I didn't get any bloody action, sadly. I did however, get a little revenge on a certain Bighead."

I grinned to myself, remembering the night before, when suddenly we stopped. She had put her arm out to stop me! How rude. Imagine if I had kept going, and her arm and stayed there and I had been walking fast and her arm was really muscley, like rock hard guns or something, and then she had ruptured my spleen! Imagine! Dear Merlin, some people these days.

"Lily! Lily! Snap out of it!" she yelled, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Geez, woman, what do you want? You could have ruptured my spleen you know!"

"Um, yeah, sure, spleen rupturing is my calling. But seriously. You didn't play some ridiculously immature and possibly horrible prank on Potter again did you? Because you know where it landed you last time?" she started, the Big Lecture voice recurring.

"Detention," I chorused with her, fake yawning loudly.

"Nah, don't worry, this time there's no way any teachers heard. And Potter would never tell, even he has more class than that," I told her, pulling her along as I walked towards the doors to the Great Hall.

She just rolled her eyes and started to lecture me again on the importance of keeping out of trouble, especially as I was Head Girl, and we had to sit exams, and this was our last year, and bla bla bla. Whatever. I plan to keep my life interesting, thankyou

We walked through the doors to the Great Hall, and a waft of foody smell hit my nose. Mmm food. Eggs, bacon, potatoes, toast, oh merlin, carbalicious. I am so there.

We went to our usual seat at the Gryffindor table and sat down, all the while Hails still telling me off. She needs to give it a rest. I love her to bits, but she honestly needs to let her hair down a little.

It was when I was reaching for my second plate of pancakes that someone tapped me on the shoulder.

Being the good natured person that I am, and expecting an annoying first year, I slapped on my best fake smile and turned around, saying "Yes?"

Behind me were three first year boys. I knew it. I wonder what they want? An autograph maybe. Probably to ask me out. They're only a few years too young, Merlin. You'd think they'd try for someone their own age.

But suddenly, they did the most unexpected thing.

They started singing.

"Love, love, love," they chorused, all in some insanely in-tune harmony.

"Love, love, love," they continued. How sweet, they're serenading me.

"All you need is love," Oh it's that Muggle song by the Beatles! How cute. Ha! On the 'doo doo doo doo doo' bit, two more little first years popped out from behind them. This is highly amusing. I think I'll grab my pancake and eat it as I watch this.

I turned around to quickly grab my pancake, when my eye caught someone else's a little way down the table. Ew, Potter. I was about to avert my innocent eyes from his hideous face, when suddenly he smirked. Then stared at the singing first years, then back at me, then at the first years, then waved to the first years.

I turned to look at them. They all waved back, and kept singing.

Suddenly, I was mortified. Potter had done this. It wasn't the first years madly in love with me, Potter had paid them off to embarrass me. That little beepface. I'm going to kill him. But he can't know that. So instead of launching myself across the table and attempting to strangle him with a pancake, I shall keep my composure and continue to smile good naturedly at the evil singing children.

A few seconds after I made this resolve, Hailey nudged me.

"Why are they singing? And why do you look like you just ate Potter's sock?" she whispered, trying hard not to talk over the serenading trio.

My face automatically fell into a grimace at the mention of his name, and Hailey leaned back into her original position, looking a little worried at my sudden change of expression. Oh, she should be worried. They should all be worried. Muhahaha. Okay maybe the muhahaha was a little far. Scratch that. Okay. They should all be worried.

I got up to leave, suddenly having lost my appetite. I pushed past the first years, not too violently (yet), and walked out at an average pace, making sure that Potter knew he had no effect on me whatsoever.

But something threw me. And you know what it was? The bloody first years. They followed me. And they are still following me. Singing. And following. Following me, and singing. Singing! Right, I'm going to have to tell them where to go.

I whirled around to face them and they came to an abrupt halt about a metre behind me, looking a little scared but still singing. Potter had obviously paid for the best.

"Listen boys, this has been lovely, but Potter's gotten what he's paid for, and now I would really appreciate it if you left, as I have a Potions class to attend." I said this as sweetly as humanly possible, and I could tell that they were about to melt. Well, the two on the sides were. It was that smarmy little middle one that ruined it for me.

The other two kept singing, but he piped up over the top of them, "Sorry miss, but Potter hasn't got what he's paid for. He paid for a whole day, and for us to miss all our classes for the day. You're stuck with us." That snarky little git. I've half a mind to just wring his scrawny little neck.

No, Lily, no. Don't hurt people whom can't fight back. That's just low. Wait a couple of years until he's hit puberty, and then m'dear, we will get our revenge. Oh great, now I'm talking about myself in third person. Bloody hell.

"Fine," I snapped, and spun on my heel rather fantastically. Potions class, my ass. I will drop these stupid easily bribed children somehow.

I stalked up a staircase, around a corner, through a door, a couple of empty classrooms, straight into a huge crowd on their way to classes. I weaved through the crowd keeping a low profile, and I thought that I had lost them. But then, I heard them. "James wants to hold your ha-aand," they crooned. I'm going to kill Potter. No jokes this time.

I was running down a huge staircase, with absolutely no clue where I was going, when I bumped right into the devil himself. The culprit, the criminal, the dastardly dashing dickhead.

"POTTER!" I screamed, resembling a banshee.

He merely stared down at me, grinning charmingly.

"Yes, oh beautiful one?"

Oh. Don't even Potter. Don't even try to dazzle me you insufferable git.

"CALL THEM OFF, POTTER! GET THEM AWAY, OK? I GET THE BLOODY PICTURE!" I screeched, this time resembling a rather sick banshee as my voice cracked a few times.

His grin widened and I had a sudden urge to smack it off his face. Just as I was about to act on that impulse however, Potter grabbed my hand and kissed it.

He. Kissed. My. Hand.

I may actually throw up. If it were any other person of the male species, it may have been sweet. I may have even been flattered. But Potter. POTTER. Even the word Potter just makes me want to self-combust or fly to Norway or something.

I grabbed my hand back and wiped it on my robes, making a face at him and proclaiming my disgust in a loud manner.

By this point, we had gained a crowd. Didn't we always? Well, this needed to be settled once and for all.

I grabbed Potter's hand (yes, I did retch a little) and pulled him into the nearest classroom, shutting the door behind me.

"Now, Potter," I started, in the calmest voice I could muster, my teeth gritted so hard that they might have possibly fallen out, "Can we please stop this now? I have definitely had enough."

"Of course we can, Lily darling, my rose, my flower," he said, sucking up disgustingly.

"Ugh, whatever. But, seriously? Truce?" I asked, refusing to hold out my hand so that he could give me even more diseases.

"Yeah, truce," he said, his voice a little more normal, but the smirk still there, "But, you just have to say one thing."

"Oh, whatever, as long as it's over." I knew what he was going to make me say, but I didn't care, because no one was around, and nobody would ever find out that I said it. Ha! Bet he didn't think of that. No proof whatsoever.

"Ok," he said, grinning like a damned stupid Cheshire cat, "just tell me that I win."

"Okay, James, you win," I said, giving him a wicked smile.

His face fell a little. "Really?" he asked, looking a little confused.

"Yep. James Potter, you are the fairest of them all. You are the bees knees. The cat's miaow. You get the gold medal. You win!" Ha. Take that, golden boy. You have no proo-oof na na na na na na. Wait.

What was that.

Was that... A giggle?

"Did you just giggle Potter?" I asked, looking up at him. He was beginning to laugh, however the giggle sounded too girly, even for him.

"The bees knees? Really?" he said, chuckling.

"Yeah, whatever, who giggled?" I asked, ignoring him and turning around.

Oh.

Dear.

Merlin.

This wasn't an empty classroom.

Not. Empty.

Full.

Full classroom.

I feel a little faint. There is an entire class of sixth years in here. And the teacher. Oh of course, Binns is bloody asleep isn't he. There's a class. A class. People. Witnesses.

WITNESSES!

They heard me say that Potter was the bees knees! THE CAT'S MIAOW!

Holy. Shit. I'm going to go throw myself in the lake.

Goodbye sweet world.

A/N: REVIEW BEETCHES!