Winry Rockbell's guide to the Elric boys

This is a spoof or parody as some call it of the book by Kate Brian Megan Meade's guide to the McGowen boys.

Bits and pieces will be from the book, but not the whole ding dang story.

Hints of yaoi are included and maybe a lemon or two. No likie no read. Many characters might be OOC, but that's the point of a parody/spoof.

Enjoy

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"Pack your gear, Winry! We're moving to Japan!" No. It could not happen. Not now of all days when everything had been going so perfect. Winry Rockbell could feel the glass in her hands tremble as the words sunk into her mind. Her parents had come into her room, looking tired but excited as always.

"Moving...?" Even the words of her own voice began to tremble, the sound almost frightend. As automail mechanics/surgeons they were sent all over the world when needed. Even after the birth of their daughter the moves continued. Winry had been so sure this was a real home for once. Making it through three solid grades, having her first best friend Sheska Fuery, done well with her soccer team and finally she was going to talk to Ling Xao. She had even rehearsed the words in front of her mirror nearly one hundred and fifty times. Now she was being forced to leave everything behind once more.

"....I'm not going." The words rushed from her mouth before her mind could catch up with them. Though it was exactly what she felt inside. Sara Rockbell turned her attention to her daughter, looking both worried and startled. "What do you mean, Honey?"

Now was the time she could finally speak all she wanted. Winry set the glass of water aside, choosing now to dig her nails into the leather of the computer chair she was sitting in currently. "It means what it sounds like...I am not going! I'm happy here and...and..I can't just move to-"

"Japan." Her father put in, taking a seat beside his wife to stare blankly at his daughter. Winry could have fallen over at this point. All the way on the other side of the world after all. The silence dragged on after that, the blond girl and her parents simply having a staredown. Finally Yuri spoke, clearing his throat carefully. "Well, there's one other option for you to stay in this part of the country."

"I can stay with Sheska?" Even she had to pause on that. Sheska lived with her brother Kain and her mother in a very cramped apartment. Her best friend already shared a room with her older brother, divided by a simple sliding door. Sara shook her head, clasping her hands together ontop of her stained jeans, her tan skin a bit wrinkled with worry lines. "Do you remember my friend Trisha?" At that Winry could nod. Sara and Trisha had been best friends in college, staying best friends even after that. Trisha had married, now living in Central City with her husband.

"We talked it over and she'd love to have you come stay with her and her family." Her family... Trisha's husband Honenheim was a wonderful man, kind if not a bit silent. The worst part were the kids. All boys that had tortured Winry as a child. Pudgey Russel had shoved gum into her hair, chasing her around the backyard, until she had taken a bat and smacked him in the gut with it. So many years later and now the boys were teenagers for god's sake!

"Ho-how many of them were there?" The fear and shakeness had returned to her voice now as the question was asked. Someone in the sky had to hate her. Sara gave a smile, unclasping her hands then. "Seven."

Seven?! "SEVEN?" Her voice rose a bit as the number blurted from her already hysterical voice. Still, this was better then moving all the way to the other side of the world. This soccer girl was going to have to settle for hell. Elric style.

"...I'll go live with them."

"Good," Sara didn't catch the note of disgust and fear back in her daughter's tone as she stood up. "Come on, honey." Yuri followed suit, taking hold of his wife's arm. There was a glance backwards at their daughter. Winry simply gave a fake smile, waving her hands to shoo them off. "Really! It'll be great!"

Yeah, great.

Once her parents had left, she was back on the computer sending a few last IM's to Sheska.

Bookworm189: Living with seven boys? OMG!

AutomailAngel99: Only U would think this is great...I kind of do. If only not the Elric losers!

Bookworm189: Srry, but if we could take you we would!

AutomailAngel99: I knows. Just pray for me.

For better or worse she'd be on her way to Central City to live in boy hell/heaven.

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Yes, I know it's not Betad. So give reviews or bad comments. I accept it all.