Author's Note: Well, Moody's death wasn't too fun to write, but remember that a war is raging. Here, chapter three (just one more to go!), where you'll experience a very long shouting match and some general sadness. Please, do cover your ears, and flame or review!
Disclaimer: Stock prices went down, but I still can't afford buying it…
Parting
Tonks had never been good at household spells, which most people assumed extended to her cooking abilities – a thought that got them innovatively corrected. However, Tonks had stopped rectifying everyone the first time she had personally sampled Molly's meals: the matriarch's food was marvelous. Thus, she allowed (or suggested, she didn't really remember) Molly to send them small parcels daily, assuring Molly they didn't have much time on their hands to cook, and that she was worried Remus wouldn't be properly nourished. And by "small parcels", of course, Molly had understood "generous servings for a family of thirty-three".
Not that Tonks had minded.
So, munching distractedly on corned beef sandwiches made by Molly Weasley, Tonks and Remus sat at their table in silence. They were buried in their own dark thoughts, something that had become increasingly common after the attack at Bill's wedding.
"You know," – She said suddenly with her mouth full, just for the sake of conversation. – "Charlie used to swallow four of these in under one minute."
He looked at her with curiosity.
"I thought you met the Weasleys working for the Order."
"No, I was in Charlie's year, remember? I'd see them at King's Cross. Molly would always hand some of these to him as a snack, but he'd down them the second the train moved out of the station." – She turned hers in her hands. – "Funny, I used to admire him for it, in awe of his legendary appetite. I mean, how could something like this excite other passions?"
Her chuckle died in her throat as she saw Remus' jaw tightening.
"What did I say?" – She asked, blushing slightly.
"Other passions?"
Guessing the cause of his displeasure, she smiled: was she making him jealous?
"Oh, come on, I just went on Molly's cooking for hours! If anything, I'd married her and not her children."
He didn't laugh with her.
"When were you going to tell me?"
"Remus, this is – I'm not – I'm joking!"
"Don't stall."
"What is it, then? Are you mad because I didn't tell you I knew them?"
"Him." – He corrected morosely.
"It was such a long time ago that I didn't think it was important. Charlie was just a schoolmate–"
"Was he?"
"Remus! How could I prefer him? He had bad breath!"
That was definitely the wrong joke to say at definitely the wrong time to say it. His expression clouded as he stood up. She followed and walked around the table to hug him. He kept her at bay.
"Does Cesia know?"
"What? That Charlie will never marry, unless he courts a female dragon?"
"What's wrong, Tonks? Can't give me a straight answer?"
"No, if I don't know what the question is."
"Don't pretend you don't. Whose idea was it? Yours or Cesia's?"
"What does she have to do with Charlie?"
"Oh, feeling possessive?" – He looked at her with disgust. – "You probably thought I wouldn't notice, that you would be able to conceal it from me. But I'm not an idiot."
"Nobody said you were!"
"Then stop treating me like one!"
"I'm not! STOP IT!"
He lowered his wand, and she was thankful for once of how much Moody had stressed learning Occlumency and of how much she had obeyed.
"If you want to know what I'm thinking, just ask me, Remus! Don't try to pry into my head ever again!"
"If you hadn't anything to hide, you wouldn't mind!'
"What are you talking about?! I tell you everything!"
"Like what?! Like what's on your mind right now?!"
"There's nothing on my mind! Is everyone supposed to use their brains every second of the day?! Maybe that's why I'm so inept: because I don't! Mine is generally blank, so deal with it! And maybe now it's turned off, or it's singing to me or it's wondering what the hell this is about!"
"IT'S ABOUT YOU, BEING PREGNANT!"
A ringing silence followed his words. Her eyes grew wide and she suddenly wanted very badly to sit down again.
"PREGNANT?! What? Didn't Cesia –"
"– Lie to me?! Yes, but I didn't fall for it! The signs –"
"– I'm not – It is ague!"
"It isn't! You were treated!"
"Not completely: I couldn't get enough ashwinder –"
"– Yes, remind me how poor we are because of me!"
"Remus!"
"And while you're at it, tell me how your family hates me as well –"
"– They don't! –"
"– No need to keep my self-esteem anymore, eh? I mean, after you've –"
"– I didn't sleep with Charlie!"
"Werewolves don't breed, so I beg to differ!"
She aimed her wand at him, but he shouted "Protego!" before she could hex him into oblivion and back, twice. They stared at each other furiously.
"Are you listening to yourself?! HE'S IN BLOODY ROMANIA!"
"Figures you'd know where he is!"
"You aren't making any sense! Have you gone mad?!"
"So you agree with your parents on that one, then?!"
"I've told you a million times, my dad was just joking! He thought Moony was funny!"
"Really? Having a deranged son-in-law is funny? I don't remember your mother laughing much!"
"You went beet red! She was just trying to change the subject!"
"Yes, to what the Ministry is up to lately!"
"She is worried about the Werewolf Registry and its implications!"
"That everyone will know you're related to one?!"
She groaned angrily: was he hallucinating? She didn't remember Molly putting magical mushrooms on anything. Ignoring her desire to bring the quarrel back into the realms of logical debate, she said the first thing on her mind.
"No! Because of what they might do to our child once it's born!"
She didn't know (or care, really) if she was pregnant or not, but her assertion made him stop arguing. She was about to try to reason with him when he was suddenly shouting again.
"WHAT?!"
She couldn't understand what was wrong now. Hadn't he just been beside himself with rage thinking she was going to have someone else's baby? Then what was so wrong about them having one? But the way he was pulling his hair while pacing desperately, talking to himself in an angry voice, made her think it was more important to clarify everything than to worry about his feelings on parenthood.
"Remus, listen –"
"– What have you done?! Werewolves don't breed! –"
"– First of all, stop calling it breeding! We're not animals!"
He ignored her.
"It will be like me, I know it will be like me! – "
"– Remus, stop this frenzy! You're nympholeptic! –"
"– How could you?! –"
"– I'm a metamorphmagus, not a bloody hydra! It's not like I can spawn beings on impulse alone! –"
"– What have you done?! –"
"Damn it, Remus! Enough! I'm not pregnant!"
"DON'T LIE TO ME!"
His anger made him quick, and she felt the effects of his incantation before she noticed he had said anything. Yet it didn't matter: he had just proved she was, indeed, with child. Her brain drove itself to react as soon as possible to minimize the damage.
"I'm only three weeks along, Remus. It must have been shortly after the wedding." – She whispered hurriedly, almost crying. – "I wasn't pregnant then, don't you see? And I wouldn't have noticed anyway until next week, would I?"
He looked at her unfocusedly.
"Please, Remus, I swear I didn't know…" – She sniveled.
"I'm going to find Harry."
She looked at him, taken aback.
"What?! What on Earth for?"
"You're having a child. Think. He's at the Headquarters, but I'm sure he'll be off soon. If he were our son, you would –"
"But he's an adult! He can take care of himself!"
"He probably doesn't even know what he's up against!"
"You are not his keeper!"
"No, you're right: Sirius is dead."
For a second, Tonks swore she couldn't breathe: this was way below a low blow from Remus.
"You know why you are in the Order, but at least I compromised to protect him."
"Well, I am in this to keep Harry alive, but not to abandon you the first moment he gets a head cold."
His glare made her blush again, but she didn't regret her words: why did he always worry more about Harry than about her? And why was she the one that always ended up feeling jealous?
"Our child is not even born! Hell, ten minutes ago, I didn't even know it existed! And you're just going to dump it for Harry?"
"This is a bloody war and he is our best hope! Even Dumbledore said so! What part of that don't you understand?!"
Tonks sighed and gave in to her you-must-sit-down-now instinct, looking calmly at Remus. He had won.
"It's not about us, but because of us you're going away. Yes, you're right, I don't understand any of it… But that doesn't matter, can't you see? I don't need to understand you. I love you, and that's enough for me…" – But it certainly didn't seem enough for him, and she sighed again. – "Look, enough running around in circles: we both know you're leaving."
"I – I don't – I wasn't planning to –" – He replied weakly, shaken at her sudden submission.
"Don't lie: you just said you wanted to go find him. Plus, it's not like you haven't run off before."
He was unable to answer or to look away. She continued.
"I will stay at my parents' house, at least until I deliver it. That way Harry won't have to worry about our protection while you're guarding him. Also, tell him I asked you not to keep in touch, as it might be unsafe." – If she hadn't been trained by Moody, she might have wondered at the sudden indifference with which she was handling the situation. – "Finally, I want you to remember one thing: I do not want or need you to come back. Ever."
"Does –" – Was his voice breaking? It was possible: he looked stricken. – "Does that mean –"
"It means that you can't keep coming in and out of my life, Remus. In fact, I'd prefer you didn't even think about either of us existing if you can manage it, because so far, the only thing you've done is convince me you've just been pretending."
"Tonks –"
"– I'm serious. It's your choice: you can either stay away, come back and put up with us forever, or do the Killing Curse. I will not have it any other way…" – She sighed sadly and stood up. He, on the other hand, sagged into his chair in despair. – "Everyone has left or died on you, Remus, so you think that if for once you leave first, it will hurt less. But does it?"
And with that, she locked herself in their room. After a minute or so, she heard him gathering his things and closing the door.
That night, Tonks hugged herself as she lay alone on her bed: he had left without a word of parting.
And, although she wouldn't cry (because, honestly, it was pointless), she couldn't avoid feeling a pang in her heart. Not so long ago he had said he didn't need a child to love her. Why hadn't he just told her he didn't want one? His relief must have been great indeed when Cesia had diagnosed Tonks with a potentially fatal condition instead. And, now that she was expecting and nothing else could be diagnosed, he had left.
What would she tell her parents? What would they say?
But her grief not only made her dejected: it also made her drowsy. Thus, her plans for an angst-ridden night were replaced by a snore-filled one: she was soon asleep…
Author's note: Well, we all know he certainly won't be leaving her again, will he? Well, he will, but just once more, before it ends. (O.o Belated Spoiler Alert!) Anyway, just one chapter to go! Until then, please flame or review! Cheers!