A/N: Well, this was certainly a hectic week! I barely had time to write this story, let alone start the TristanOC story! .frowns. Oh well, I do what I can. Anyway, next chapter for all of you! Enjoy!

magical ex-auror hobbit.: In death, he will only help her. I still can't believe that I killed Aiden! But as for Galahad...he's seriously messing me up! He's so confused with what he wants! But I guess that's fun to write, since he's so unpredictable, that young chap.

Aww, there will be more characters later on, I promise! But Aiden was one of a kind. I feel bad for Merlin, too. Well...he had to die because he was pretty important in Lourdes' life, and this will only help her in her path to maturity. She has killed and has seen people die, but when it is someone that you love so much, it just has a million times the impact.

Well, I'm rooting for both Galahad and Lancelot, so technically you're not alone! lol HAHA Aids...I should write a story where the poor knight gets it...that'll teach him a lesson and maybe force him to stop being such a manwhore!

And as I messaged you about, your idea for the TristanOC fic that I want to write was almost exactly what I was thinking of...with a little twist, of course! haha I probably won't be posting that until I either finish this fic, or most likely by the end of August. I hope you read it and like it, though! .smiles.

Raging Raven: Aww, I'm glad you liked it! Let's just hope none of the knights die in this one, eh?

Withered Lover: Another person that cried! Aww, I feel bad for killing Aiden, but it had to be done! But about their ages...in one of the earlier chapters when she was getting to know Galahad, I mentioned that she was 20 and Galahad 24. So by now, she's 21 and he's 25. The other knights can be around 25 - 30 as well, and Bors just a tad bit older than that. And yes, the reviews are of great help, but honestly, work just tires me out, and I barely get any sleep! So, I'm still inspired to write this story, it's just that my energy's been so drained lately and I never have the time to write! .frowns.

But I'm glad you're looking forward to the TristanOC story! Let's just hope that I have the time to write that one, along with this story! haha Not to reveal too much, but my take on Tristan will have Eastern influences. Don't you agree that he fought and dressed like a samurai in the movie? It totally stuck in my mind, so I want to write about him and his life! hehe

YES...Galahad has NO beard! No facial hair, whatsoever! His face is as clean as a baby's bottom. lol Nope, I fancy Lancey's beard...I think it makes him look sexier. So it stays! haha

Oh, I'll keep the teasing going...just building up the sexual tension, here! haha And yes, my flip sistah, I will keep it coming!

t t t

CHAPTER 26

So this is the way that I say I need you

This is the way that I'm

Learning to breathe

I'm learning to crawl

I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall

I'm living again, awake and alive

I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

So this is the way I say I need you

This is the way that I say I love you

This is the way that I say I'm yours

This is the way, this is the way

- "Learning To Breathe" by Switchfoot

t t t

Upon Dagonet's recommendation, Lourdes stayed in bed for a few more days, reassuring a full physical recovery. Even if he had not told her this, she would not have had the will nor energy to leave her room anyway. Why did it even matter now? What could she look forward to outside of these walls? More pain? More threats upon her life?

Still in mourning over Aiden's death after a week, Lourdes barely ate and slept, barely speaking to those that came to visit her and inquire about how she fared. She simmered in the wretched feeling that afflicted her, only managing to feed her misery. For now, as was the case most of the time, she only sat in silence with Merlin for hours, their mere presence enough to bring comfort to their aching hearts. The old Woad had made sure that he immediately tried to relieve the poor maiden of the guilt that he knew she felt - not only for Aiden's death, but for everything that had happened. Lourdes admired and loved the old Woad so much, rubbing his hand gently, so thankful that he was there to try and save her once more. She knew that he would not leave her, and that, undoubtedly, she would never leave him.

With a loving kiss on her forehead, Merlin quietly left Lourdes' chambers, leaving the maiden to her thoughts. She surveyed the utter mess that was her room: trays of untouched food on the ground, empty cups lined around them, disordered bedsheets, pieces of clothing tossed carelessly everywhere. It did seem as though a storm had rushed through the enclosed space, mercilessly destroying everything in its path - including Lourdes herself.

She examined herself on the sword the laid beside her bed. Dark circles lined her tired eyes, her cheekbones protruding even more. Her once shiny, raven hair was tangled and dry, tossed up in a reckless ponytail. Her dress, wrinkled and dirty, as if manifesting what she felt within her. Her physical state had deteriorated that she barely had the energy to move about.

Languidly walking towards the window, Lourdes was desperate for fresh air. The sun had risen to its full height, the light streaming down on her. She closed her eyes at the feeling of the heat, gravely wanting for it to warm her cold body. Placing her hands on the ledge of the window, she dropped her head slightly. It was then that she heard soft voices from below her.

"Are you sure that you are alright?"

"I will be fine. I still cannot erase what has happened during this fortnight."

Her ears perked up to the sound of Galahad's and Isabella's voices as they strolled through the garden, hand in hand. Tearing her eyes away from them, she moved away from the window, out of their sight. She clenched her jaw, walking away from the opening, sitting back down on her bed. As much as she tried to block it out, she could still hear their distant voices.

"Galahad." Isabella stopped, taking his hands in hers as she looked deeply into his eyes. "When shall we return home?"

Exhaling, he gripped her hands, tearing his eyes away from hers. "I do not know, Isabella."

She nodded only once before bowing her head, her eyes brimming with tears. After a moment of silence between them, she began, "We have yet to get married, you know."

Galahad's head snapped up at this, his eyes looking into hers alternately. With everything that had happened and was happening, he had forgotten about this circumstance. It pained him to realize that his mind was blank, that he could think of nothing to say to her. Wanting so badly to utter something, he opened his mouth, but immediately clamped it closed when Isabella broke the silence first.

"I will stand by your side no matter what happens." she whispered, bringing Galahad closer to her. She rested her head on the crook of his neck as he gingerly wrapped his arms around her. "I know this is the life you lead, Galahad, but I shall not leave you." She looked up at him, her eyes swimming with tears. "I love you."

Galahad sighed, stroking the back of her head as he placed his head on hers. "I will protect you."

At this exchange, Lourdes' heart constricted even more. Gritting her teeth, she stalked to the large, wooden tub that was prepared for her, sitting beside her bed. Tearing her dress off, she placed a leg inside, immediately shivering at the coldness of the water. Barely concerned with the sensation, she jumped inside, some of the water spilling over the brim of the tub. She finally cried out at the feeling of the cold coursing all over her body, involuntarily shivering as her teeth chattered.

"Bloody hell!" she hissed out loud. Though, she did not step out and immediately began to wash herself. Taking out the tie in her hair, she dunked her head inside, finally enjoying the fresh sensation that the water brought to her. Blinking as water droplets fell from her eyes, she ran her hands through her face, squeezing the water out of her hair. After a few moments, she no longer felt the cold, her body adapting to the water's temperature. Closing her eyes as she sunk lower into the tub, she tried to block everything out of her mind, wanting so much to find solace in her bath.

A knock then came at the door. She groaned inwardly. Just when she was almost at peace for once!

Before she could answer, the door swung open without warning. She shrieked, swirling in around in the splashing water, desperately trying to cover herself from the intruder.

Lancelot cried out in surprise, immediately running out of the room and closing the door. "Milady, I apologize!" he yelled from outside, resting his head on the wall. Even in his bewildered state, the knight smirked, his eyes twinkling. What great timing he certainly has! Turning his head towards the door, he heard her cry out in frustration.

Lourdes ran her hands through her face and hair, simmering inside. She did not even want to think of how much Lancelot saw of her! It was foolish of her to not even think of propping a chair onto the door - or anything, for that matter - to make sure that it remained closed, before she had stepped into the bath.

Quickly drying herself, she snatched a dress from her bed, immediately placing it on. Stalking towards the door, she snatched the latch, pulling it belligerently. She instantly heard Lancelot clear his throat, his eyes still on the ceiling.

"I am dressed now, sir." she snapped, looking up at him expectantly.

A part of me wishes that you were still not. Lancelot thought inwardly before slowly placing his eyes on her. She looked quite radiant, if he did say so himself, especially when she was angered and wet.

"Forgive me, milady," he began as cordially as he could, bowing to her slightly, "I...I just wanted to see how you fared."

"I am fine." she responded quickly, placing a hand on her hip. "Is that all?"

At her stinging, defensive tone, Lancelot furrowed his brows. In speaking with his comrades, Guinevere and Merlin, she had barely spoken any words to them, let alone snapped at them! Walking in front of her, Lancelot looked down at her with serious eyes, filled with concern.

"Have I done something to upset you?" he questioned softly, resisting the temptation to touch the side of her head. Other than walk in on you while you were bathing, he finished cheekily in his mind.

Lourdes' thoughts flashed to the memory of seeing Lancelot coming out of his chambers with the woman. She immediately tried to suppress the vision, looking away from him as she did so. As she turned her head slightly to the side, she tried to hide her eyes from his dark, inquisitive orbs.

"We have not spoken to one another in days." she finally replied, glancing back upwards at him with controlled emotion.

Lancelot finally took her lower arms in his hands, gripping her wrists lightly. A part of him knew what plagued her mind, her unspoken words to him not nearly enough to hide her true feelings. "That still does not mean I did not do anything to upset you."

Lourdes' powerful eyes met his, as if challenging him. "What do you want me to say?" she replied, almost coldly. Her pride claimed the best of her, not even wanting to discuss what she truly thought and felt.

All tenderness and worry left Lancelot's eyes, not desiring to be stung by Lourdes' sharp tongue once more. His hurt pride got the best of him, and he nonchalantly dropped the bag that he had slung over his shoulder onto the ground between them.

"I was sent to change your bandages and tend to the wound." he said in the same callous manner that she had spoken to him. He kept his expression stern. "Do you want me to do it, or do you want to do it yourself?"

Surprising even himself at the insensitivity that lined in his voice, he cursed inwardly. He should learn to control his frustration and understand what she was going through. This was not who she really was. She was merely a woman that was lost in much grief and pain, needing for someone to comfort her, not treat her with contempt.

Though, Lourdes did not seem affected by his words nor actions, turning from him. "It does not matter to me." Her voice was now void of any emotion as she walked towards the window.

Exhaling, Lancelot retrieved the bag from the floor as he walked inside her chambers, shutting the door with his foot. Eyeing her expectantly, he stood beside her bed, strap of the back around his shoulders, waiting for her to once again take notice of his presence. After a few moments, she finally paced to his side, pushing her hair aside as she sat on the bed. Without a word and with little embarrassment, she retrieved her left arm from the sleeve of her dress, using her right hand to hold the garment upon her chest.

It's not as if he hasn't seen any of this anyway, she scoffed to herself.

Looking at the back of her head momentarily, Lancelot reached for the damp bandage on her back, untying it with great care. Slowly unwrapping it, he caught sight of the wound, exhaling in relief. Seeing that it was almost fully healed, he delicately rubbed a herbal ointment on the wound, observing to see if Lourdes reacted to any type of pain. She sat still, barely reacting to his touch.

Taking out a new bandage, he firmly wrapped it around her shoulders and underneath her arms, careful at the amount of pressure that he was placing onto the wound. Lourdes breathed out silently as he finished tying the bandage in place, turning her head slightly in his direction. She said nothing to him.

Lancelot kept his hand on her shoulder. "Can you move your arm with no pain?"

Lourdes rotated her shoulders, quietly nodding. As she placed her arm back into the sleeve of the dress, she felt Lancelot's hands on the nape of her neck.

"Your shoulder muscles are tense." he commented, his hands gliding down to her shoulderblades. "If you are in any pain, let me know."

She merely nodded as Lancelot began to rub her back with his thumbs. He applied only the right amount of pressure, able to bring relief rather than pain to her. Lourdes tilted her chin upwards as she sighed, the feeling finally returning to her shoulder and back. Lancelot only kept quiet and observed her as she did this, relieved that he was not causing her any discomfort.

A moan lightly escaped from her lips, making Lancelot swallow. He continued, his hands now sliding down the middle of her back, his fingers pressing firmly on it. She breathed out again, gripping the bedsheets as she closed her eyes in pleasure. She shivered as Lancelot traced her back, his fingers brushing the nape of her neck once more before resting on her shoulders. He kept them there, as if waiting for a response from her.

"I thought I was going to die that night." she sounded, slightly turning to face him with a solemn countenance. Lancelot frowned at her expression, but remained silent and waited for her to continue. She breathed out before saying, "Now, a part of me wishes that I did."

Lancelot clenched his jaw as he furrowed his brows. He grasped the sides of her arms, her back still turned to him. "Do not speak like so."

He wanted to badly to scream to her how he felt the night of the Shinodian attack, how he felt as though he himself was dying when he thought that she was dead in his arms. He wanted to make her understand how she affected him, afflicted him, how much he cared for her and her well-being. Her statement only upset him, incredulous that those words could actually escape from her lips.

"I do not think I can bare it anymore." she wailed, dropping her head slightly as she gripped the side of the bed.

"You must learn to be strong." Lancelot stated, moving to the other side of her in order to face her. "If everyone that experienced such pain dies right now, how many people do you think there will be left on this earth?"

Through blurry eyes, Lourdes saw the unyielding sentiment in Lancelot's countenance. He took her hands in his, gripping them firmly. "You have so much to live for. So much." he shook his head, a playful smile pulling on his lips. "You have yet to wed, have lots of children, care for them and watch them grow!" he paused, looking into her eyes alternately. "Don't you see, Lourdes?"

She finally met his intense gaze.

"In death, you must learn to find life."

t t t

Galahad returned to his chambers with heavy thoughts. Lying on his bed for hours, he wondered to himself how he could have taken it so far with Isabella. It was so wrong for him to pretend that she had his entire heart, that, when he had proposed to her, he was completely and utterly hers. He admitted to himself that he did care for her, and that he cared about her well-being; but in retrospect, it was not the sort of emotion that would propel one to propose to another. Love and being in love were completely different things - and he knew this. But through screaming conscience all those months ago, he had allowed himself to be convinced by Isabella's father, being told that their union was indeed a fortunate prospect. At first, he had berated himself and his decision, then, slowly consoled himself by the thought that Isabella was indeed and kind woman and that he would never see Lourdes again anyway.

And now, his decision was killing him. It was tearing him apart.

Gritting his teeth, he sat up with firm resolve. He had to make things right. He just had to!

Swiftly exiting his room, he almost collided with one of the castle maids. In the dim light, he took her arms quickly in his hands, looking down at her.

"Milady, have you seen the Lady Lourdes?"

The aged woman thought for a moment before squinting her eyes and shaking her head. "The exotic maiden?" At Galahad's curt nod, she continued, "No, milord, I have not for a few hours now."

Galahad frowned, looking around behind her. "Do you not know where I can find her?"

"She is not in her room, sir." the woman replied, motioning her head towards Lourdes' chamber door. "I was just about to check on her, but I found the room empty."

Galahad's countenance turned to worry as he glanced at the woman once more. "Please, come with me. I need to find her."

t t t

"I cannot believe any of this."

Merlin's voice echoed throughout the room as he sat around the Round Table with Arthur on his side. The two were alone, sharing a private meeting about what had transpired with the Shinodian peoples. The crackling of the torchlight sounded in the background, their shadows dancing eerily around them on the cold, stone walls. The two shared a heavy sense of loss, still not fully recovered from that fateful night. Merlin had all but concealed his true emotions, his moments of mourning and sorrow now masked by a stone gaze as he continued to sit with Arthur.

"Merlin, you cannot deny that those were indeed Shinodian warriors, through and through." Arthur declared regretfully, no doubt evident in his mind. He tried to control the anger that threatened to come. "Their full aggression was turned upon us, with no other purpose but conquest."

Breathing out, Merlin tried to make sense of it all, perturbed. The King and Queen of Shino would never vie for conquest! They would never send warriors to seize the property of others and kill the innocent so heartlessly! That was not the kind of rule that they represented. Doubt was still prevalent in his mind, yet he could not deny that, because of the void in their correspondence all these years, they may have changed their ways and fell into temptation. Though, his instinct told him that something was not right. Merlin had to make Arthur understand what he meant, what he felt.

"Arthur, there is much to tell you about Lourdes and her peoples." The old Woad began cryptically, leaning his staff on the Round Table. With an encouraging nod from Arthur, Merlin began his tale. As Merlin recounted Lourdes' past, the history of her peoples and the bitter civil war that still plagued their lands, Arthur was at a loss for words. He only stared at the old Woad attentively, interest piqued by all that he was saying. So she is royalty, he said to himself, proving what he thought all those months ago to be true. But a civil war in Shino's lands?

As if reading Arthur's thoughts, Merlin nodded, despondent. "Now you see where I am coming from. Though those were Shinodians that attacked your realm, Lourdes is still the safest in the lands of her ancestors. She belongs with her family."

With wide eyes, Arthur looked at Merlin incredulously. "Merlin, you cannot possibly take Lourdes to Shino, especially with the loss of so many of your warriors! That is suicide!"

The Woad merely shook his head in response, trusting his instincts. "There is much more to Lourdes' past that I have not yet told you." he paused, deep in thought. "In fact, I have not yet told her either."

"Woad, you are too full of secrets." Arthur breathed out as he leaned back on his chair, his mind swirling at what he had just learned. "Next thing I know, you are really a wench!"

Merlin raised an eyebrow, smirking at his comment. "I cannot hide that as well, now can I?"

Pausing for a moment, the two then shared a small laugh, momentarily lifting the looming sorrow around them. As their laughter died down, they realized that fate of those they cared for rested on their shoulders, on their decisions.

"Arthur, you must understand the reasoning for my decision." The seriousness in Merlin's face returned, his voice unyielding as his dark eyes looked upon Arthur once more. "Now that she has physically recovered, we have to fulfill our original purpose. She has to fulfill her purpose."

In truth, Arthur did not truly understand his reasonings. Then, he thought to himself, Lourdes was a marked woman by both Saxons and Sarmatians. Wouldn't it truly be in her best interest to return to her ancestral lands, to possibly find her family again? Though, how does the Woad know which Shinodians to trust and which not to? Arthur still had so many questions left, so many questions left unanswered. Though after a few moments, he finally nodded in acceptance, knowing that he could no longer persuade the Woad to reconsider his decision.

Merlin placed a steady hand on his shoulder. "We shall leave tomorrow."