A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Here's another chapter for you all! )
I hope it isn't getting too long. But whateves. Better long than a story which just breezes through the plotline and explains nothing! lol As I will mention below, my original plan for this story was to cut it into three parts, just like the LOTR trilogy, but then ultmately decided against it and just put it all in one story. So here's the ever-growing novel for you all! I hope I haven't lost all of you...more romance, action and of course, drama, will be coming up! hehe ENJOY!
Raging Raven: It seems like Lourdes can never get a break. When will she ever get with the knights! haha Blame her and her destiny, I say!
Withered Lover: Thank you for the support! I really do appreciate it. But I will certainly touch on the Eastern influence on the knights later on in this story (there is SO much more to tell), which I think will be really interesting and unique. I hope this story doesn't get too long, but really, I think it's just two stories in one. I like keeping things whole, so it'll be just one massive story. It's not for everyone, but I'm glad that a few people are liking it! .smiles.
I'm working my way through the story, albeit slowly, but at least things are happening perfectly the way I want them to! I'm thinking people want more romance, and they will get a lot of it soon enough. The storyline, angst and sexual tension just has to be right! haha Take care!
magical ex-auror hobbit.: Awww, I always love reading your reviews! You're awesome. I can't believe you're still reading this story-turned-novel! haha And there's so much more to tell, too! And hopefully there will be a happy ending for Lourdes. I'll tell you this - she is going to go through soooo many more things, but I guess it'll all be worth it in the end. As I said to Withered Lover, this is like two stories in one, which explains why it's so long!
Yeah, the Galahad/Isabella relationship is something I wanted to write in because it's not the typical relationship. I think Galahad cares for Isabella, it's just...well...Lourdes is back. haha But will it end soon? Dun dun dunnn...
hahaha I always pictured Lancey doing something like that, and not being sorry for it, too! At least he knocked? hahaha And he probably thought that she was sleeping or something!
Sometimes I seriously just want to pull Galahad by the ear then shove him into Lourdes! haha Will he ever make a move? Hmm... we'll see. And oh God if Hugh did that to me, I would also die. Aw, now I'm sad just thinking baout it!
OMG driving is the best EVER. Learning sucks, but after a few months, you'll be a PRO! hahaha You're one of those crazy drivers? Damn, even the people on the sidewalks should watch out! hahaha
Here's another chapter for for you, my lovely! More will be coming up soon! I heart you, too!
t t t
CHAPTER 27
Night had fallen, yet Lourdes continued to walk aimlessly around the castle grounds. She observed the hustle and bustle of the area, seeing that most seemed to have recovered from the Shinodian attack and have returned to their normal routines. There were still Sarmatians flocking the marketplace, walking about and finishing their daily duties before they headed home. As she passed, she continued to receive stares and points; this had become so prevalent in Arthur's realm that she barely heeded it now, having become used to the gestures. As long as the gestures were not threatening, she did not mind, only reacting politely.
Sighing, it occurred to her that this was the first time in almost a week that she had left the confines of her room. Though she was still lamenting the loss of Aiden, she knew that she would rot away in her chambers if she did not make any contact with the outside world. Even if she felt as though there was little for her here, there were even less things for her inside an enclosed space. She was actually glad that she had made the decision to venture outside, now feeling less sick and, for sure, even less claustrophobic.
She replayed what Lancelot had said to her earlier that day. He spoke so freely of a future that was so blurred in her vision, a life that she could only dream of, seeing her present circumstances. How she would love to have her own home, her own children, a loving husband to spend the rest of her life with. At first, she scoffed at the thought, with only war and death seeming to keep her company. Yet, deep down in her heart, she had much faith and hope that Lancelot was right. A mischievous smirk then pulled onto her lips as she shifted her eyes.
Sure, she could learn of life through death...
...but nobody ever said that she had to do it sober!
Her mind made, Lourdes continued to wander the streets of the castle grounds, though now having a desired destination. She searched through the different streets and establishments for an alehouse. After a few minutes of what seemed like endless searching, she smiled briefly at her triumph, spotting a brightly-lit tavern just at the corner of one of the streets.
"How is the girl doing, Lancelot?" Dagonet inquired as he changed their previous subject of conversation. He held his cup in signal for more ale at a barmaid before glancing back expectantly at his fellow knight.
Running his fingers through his hair, Lancelot let out a breath, tilting his head to the side once as he placed his cup of ale onto the table. "The wound is almost fully healed."
"And how is she?" piped up Bors with a wink, nudging Lancelot's arm as he raised his eyebrows repeatedly at him. "Yer taking good care of her, I suppose?"
Immediately, Lancelot flicked the back of the knight's head with his fingers, squinting his eyes malevolently at his insinuation. "Do shut up, Bors, or I'll be forced to bed Vanora again."
Gawain and Dagonet burst out laughing, their chuckles growing with intensity at Bors' facial expression and at the sight of him trying to defend his drunken self from Lancelot's onslaught. Lancelot continuously poked at the man's side, causing him to cry out in surprise and giggle at the same time. Bors swung his arms in a drunken stupor, though Lancelot, not feeling the effects of the ale just yet, easily evaded his feeble attacks. Lancelot finally caught the swaying man in a headlock, rubbing his knuckles repeatedonly on Bors' shiny head.
"Your drinks, sirs."
The barmaid then came, interrupting the squabble between the two and the laughter of Gawain and Dagonet. With one final assault, Lancelot shoved Bors playfully, taking the cup that the woman had just placed on the table. Raising the cup and nodding at her in thanks, he turned his attention back to his friends.
Though, his attention was only reclaimed by the woman as she sat seductively on his lap, moving her face beside his ear and said suggestively, "How about you thank me in some other way, milord?"
Lancelot's tired eyes darted to her, then to the rest of the knights. In response, they only pursed their lips and looked away to try and control and hide their laughter at his expression.
Finally reaching the steps of the entrance to the tavern, Lourdes looked curiously inside, seeing torches and candles all around the establishment, with about a dozen rectangular tables lining the main hall in rows. She saw and heard many men laughing and jeering at each other, slapping barmaids' bottoms playfully as they walked, while others faced off in dagger competitions. She tried her best to ignore the stares that she was receiving and made a beeline for the main bar, set upon her real purpose of coming to this tavern.
As she reached it, the sound of laughter and familiar voices caught her ears. Turning her head nonchalantly to the side, she spotted the knights. What claimed her attention, though, was Lancelot and the woman who sat on his lap.
She rolled her eyes.
Figures, she said to herself, turning to the friendly bartender.
At this point, Lancelot received a nudge from Bors, his face gone serious. "Lad." he said simply, motioning his head to where Lourdes now stood. Lancelot, Gawain and Dagonet followed the direction of Bors' glance, seeing Lourdes leaned over the counter.
"What the bloody hell is she doinghere?" Lancelot had stood so abruptly that the barmaid almost fell to the ground. Luckily for her, Dagonet had shot out an arm to catch her, waiting until she regained her balance before retrieving his arm. She huffed, in both hurt and embarrassment, before stalking away.
With the chair dragging back onto the wooden floor as he left the table of knights, Lancelot zigzagged his way through the people walking past, making his way towards Lourdes. Dagonet, Bors and Gawain all exchanged knowing expressions, their eyebrows raised.
"What can I get for ye, my beauty?" the bartender smiled at Lourdes, clasping his hands on the bar ledge as he leaned in to hear her answer.
Lourdes smirked, then pursed her lips in indecision. "What do you have?"
"Well, we..."
"No ale for her."
Both Lourdes and the bartender looked up to the sound of the voice, seeing Lancelot's stern expression. Although the bartender nodded at his statement, Lourdes waved her hand dismissively at the knight, turning back to the bartender.
"Do not listen to him, he's utterly intoxicated." Lourdes rolled her eyes and made a face before smiling once more. "Five cups of ale will probably do, good sir."
The bartender didn't even have time to respond at this, for Lancelot had gripped Lourdes' wrist and started to pull her towards the exit. Surprised onlookers watched them closely, with some barmaids even looking at Lourdes in envy, as they zigzagged through the standing tavern-goers. Lourdes tried to pull away from Lancelot's grasp, but he only tightened his hold on her, nearly dragging her outside of the establishment. It was only when they reached the exit that he released her, and Lourdes pulled away instantly.
"What are you doing!" she shrieked, pushing at his chest. Lancelot's chest rose and fell as he tried to control his emotions, his dark orbs burning. Lourdes only eyed him with an annoyed expression, squinting her eyes at the knight, before turning to walk back inside.
Instantly, Lancelot walked in front of her, blocking her path. "You will not drink." He said this so sharply that his raised voice even frightened Lourdes a little.
Her emotions were so unstable at the moment that she trembled. Noticing this, Lancelot reached out to her in comfort and apology, but she quickly hit his arms away. "Why will you not let me forget?" she wailed, closing her eyes.
"Because ale is not the answer to any of your problems." Lancelot said sternly, his face still as hard as stone as he moved back from her. "Because it will not erase anything that has happened. You will wake in the morning, feeling as though you have been trampled by a thousand horses, and yet, the circumstances of your life will still be there, unchanged."
They stood in silence for a few moments, with only Lourdes' heavy breathing sounding around them. Finally, finding no comfort in the knight nor his words, she turned on her heels and ran back towards the castle.
t t t
Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?
Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.
- "Everything" by Lifehouse
t t t
After a few hours of searching, Galahad entered his chamber, seeing that Isabella was already asleep. Sighing to himself for not being able to find Lourdes, he finally decided that he would seek some much needed rest and speak to her in the morrow. But before Galahad had closed the door, he heard rushed footsteps accompanied by faint sobs in the distance. Furrowing his brows at this, Galahad paced towards the entrance of his chamber, looking out from left to right into the long, dimly-lit corridor. As he did so, he spotted a flash of Lourdes as she disappeared into her room, slamming the door shut behind her.
With rising concern, Galahad ran towards her chamber. "Lourdes!" he called out as he knocked, pressing his ear onto the door. "Lourdes, are you alright?"
Lourdes did not heed his call. Ignoring his voice and knocks, she swiftly moved about her room, grabbing an empty sac on the ground and stuffing her belongings inside. She alternately wiped the tears on her face with the sleeve on her arm, eyes darting around her chamber for anything else that she might need.
The cause of all these events and deaths all pointed to her. She knew that, and she was now prepared to accept it. But she was not prepared to cause anyone else anymore pain, to have more blood on her hands. These knights protected her as though she was one of their own, and she could not bear it if any of them die because of her.
She had made up her mind.
She would leave, and never return.
When Lourdes did not answer him, Galahad pushed the door open, still hearing her soft sobs and the shuffling of her belongings. As he closed the door lightly behind him, Lourdes looked at Galahad with wide eyes, eventually halting was she was doing.
Galahad's heart ached at her tearful sight, her current state not far from her state during the funerals. He frowned at the pain exhibited in her countenance, feeling much guilt, for he knew that he had contributed to the pain that she was now carrying inside of her.
"Lourdes..." he began soothingly, walking cautiously towards her as she began to tremble.
"Do not come near me!" she cried instantly, tears streaming down her face as she turned from him. "Leave me be!"
"Lourdes, what is wrong?"
She responded with nothing, only continuing to pack her sac with her belongings. When she heard him approach, she yelled, "Go away!"
"My mind will not be at rest until I know what bothers you." Galahad admitted, not deterred at all by her pain-filled shouts. In fact, it had the opposite effect. "Please, Lourdes, tell me. You must let us help you."
"No!" she shrieked, walking back a few paces from him. In desperation, she gripped a dagger from her sac, holding it threateningly in front of her. "Go away!"
"I shall not."
With no fear evident in Galahad's eyes, the knight began to approach her once more. Lourdes kept her arm as steady as she could, eyes inflamed. But, as Galahad came closer to her, she began to tremble. Unflinching as the blade touched his chest, Galahad moved even closer. Lourdes gasped at this and lifted the dagger to the side of his neck. It rested there as they both stood still, silence surrounding them.
"Even the threat of death shall not keep me from you." Galahad breathed out as he gave her a small smile, the back of his hand tracing the side of her face. "Surely, you must know that."
Lourdes' hand shook as he continued to move closer her, the blade now cutting through his skin. She let out a small cry, shocked by what she was actually doing and even moreso at what he was doing. The knight only gritted his teeth momentarily, and the look of pain on his face disappeared as quickly as it surfaced. His blood trickled down the blade, reaching Lourdes' shaking hand.
"I love you."
Lourdes gasped at his sudden confession. After a few moments, she began to sob once more, finally releasing her clutch on the dagger and dropping it to the floor. As if snapping out of a trance, she immediately panicked, placing her hand on Galahad's neck, covering the cut that she had given him.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." she choked out, ripping a part of her sleeve as she covered the wound with the fabric.
Galahad was so concentrated on her presence that he did not even feel the wound anymore. With a soft grip, he took the sides of her arms, bringing her towards him slowly. In reaction to this tender gesture, she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her head onto his chest as she inhaled and exhaled heavily.
"I love you so much that I cannot even describe it." Galahad shakily continued, resting his forehead on hers. "I have made many mistakes in my past, Lourdes, but being engaged to anyone but you was the worst of them." At the declarations that he had wanted so badly for Lourdes to hear for so long, he felt such rising emotions. Tears now started to form in his own eyes, but he fought the sensation back with all his might, resting his hands on the small of her back. "I have been unfaithful to Isabella from the beginning. I never stopped feeling this way about you, Lourdes, I never have. It has only grown."
Lourdes' mind was blank, yet so confused at the same time, as she tried to comprehend everything that Galahad was saying to her. She wanted so badly to respond, yet she could not speak. She could barely even breathe.
"I know I have hurt you tremendously," Galahad placed his lips on her cheek, kissing a fallen tear, before he gazed at her once more. "I cannot undo what I have done, Lourdes, but I can try and mend them. I can try if you will let me."
Lourdes touched his smooth face with trembling fingers, feeling the softness of his skin, the curves of his cheekbones. She examined his eyes, which glowed like emeralds in the dim candlelight, feeling herself becoming lost in those orbs. Galahad brought his hands to her waist, the length of their bodies now touching one another. Lourdes' fingers ran underneath Galahad's green tunic, gingerly feeling his hard abdomen as his lips grazed her neck.
"My mind screams at me that this is wrong." Lourdes finally managed to croak out, closing her eyes at his touch, his scent, his being.
Galahad breathed out, his lips tracing the sides of her face before resting on her own. "What does your heart tell you?"
Lourdes shuddered at the comfortable pressure of her body against his. Stepping a few paces back, they moved even closer to one another as Galahad laid her down onto the bed. As Galahad pressed his body on top of hers, Lourdes whimpered slightly, only managing to inflame the knight's passion even more. Reaching for the end of his tunic, Lourdes raised his shirt with trembling hands, pulling it off with ease as Galahad raised his arms. Before the tunic even reached the ground, he claimed her lips in his, engulfing them in a searing kiss.
Lourdes cried out, both in surprise and pleasure, as she felt Galahad's hand tracing the side of her leg. Moving his kisses to her neck and chest, she groaned at the burning sensation of his lips on her skin. Running her fingers through his hair, she rested her hands on his shoulders as he moved upwards, momentarily stopping his assault. Galahad used the last ounce of willpower that he had left in order to do this, for he knew that if he did not stop himself now, there would be no stopping him when he continued. He slightly pulled away from her, his eyes, inflamed with passion, looking down at Lourdes' alternately.
"Galahad..." she began weakly, pushing his chest to steady herself as she caught her breath.
"If you tell me that you do not love me," he choked out, playing with the locks of her hair, "then I will leave you be."
Lourdes closed her eyes at his statement, trying to make sense of her thoughts and emotions. How could she explain to the knight what she felt when she could not even explain it to or understand it herself? Why can't she just say what she truly felt and end the heartache and misery that passed between them?
"I..."
Lourdes barely started her sentence when her chamber door flew wide open. The two immediately snapped their heads up at the sound, both seeing Lancelot at the entrance, trying to catch his breath. Lancelot's apologetic expression turned cold at their sight, his eyes squinting as if he could not believe what he was seeing in front of him.
Lourdes was the first to recover, moving from underneath Galahad as she looked at him and Lancelot alternately. As Galahad stood up, the two knights kept their eyes on one another, expressions hard to decipher.
At that moment, Lourdes' heart constricted. She suddenly felt so tiny, her body trembling so much that she could barely move from where she stood. The painful silence between the three continued, not a sound to be heard but the howling of the wind outside of the window.
Galahad finally looked away from Lancelot's stabbing stare, fixing his gaze onto the ground. He felt shame and guilt not even for himself, but for Lourdes. She was now going to be blamed for actions that he had initiated.
To save her from anymore discomfort, he snatched his tunic from the ground, looking up at her. She met his eyes, and he could do nothing but look at her apologetically before he walked briskly towards the entrance of the chamber. Lancelot did not even heed his passing presence and kept his cold stare fixated on Lourdes.
Little did Galahad know, his absence would only cause Lourdes even more discomfort.
Before she could open her mouth to speak, Lancelot turned on his heel, walking out into the corridor. Lourdes moved around the bed, hastily running after him.
"Lancelot!" she called out as she ran down the steps, gripping the bottom of her dress. As she looked up, she saw his figure walk into the courtyard. "Wait, please!"
The knight didn't turn back and kept walking, his angry stomps echoing on the stone. After a few moments, Lourdes finally caught up to him, taking his arm in her hand. He instantly recoiled, taking his arm away from her grasp.
"Lancelot..." she breathed out, walking in front of him.
The knight kept his head bowed, not looking at her, as his chest visibly rose and fell. "You have compromised yourself."
She shook her head furiously, tears streaming down her face. "Please, Lancelot, listen to me..."
Without another word, Lancelot turned his back on Lourdes, leaving her alone in the cold, moon-lit courtyard.
t t t
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain
Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
- "It Ends Tonight" by The All-American Rejects