A/N: Ooh. How can I top Chapter 27? Along with Chapter 23, I think that's one of my most favourite chapters. Everyone's hurting. .frowns. Well, I hope it only gets better for you guys! I'm writing as you read this, so never fear! Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Withered Lover: Aww, I'm glad you think the story deserves more reviews! lol I'm pretty content, seeing that it's doing quite well considering the fact that it's not a TristanOC! haha But I agree with you. I feel so bad for everyone. But that's love, right? We've all been through love's pains sometime in our lives. . sigh. This next chapter will have more answers though, plus a scene that I was excited to write. But yes, I'm really flattered that you like my writing. Even if this story doesn't get as many reviews, I'm still going to write it for me and of course, you guys! Let's just say it's an underground hit, eh? haha Thanks once again for reading and reviewing! You're awesome!

Raging Raven: Yeah, it's true. What sucks is that I've known people who have gone through worse...well...not exactly like being thrust into the middle of a war and finding out you're a princess...but similar things with love.

magical ex-auror hobbit.: hahah I knew you would like this chapter! Ugh, I was just getting so annoyed with Galahad, so I was like, dammit boy, hurry it up! and wrote this.

My friend totally loves the line, "...but nobody said you have to do it sober!" and says it all the time, and I thought it would fit nicely into this chapter! lmao Beer doesn't taste that great, but there are many other types of alcohol that tastes good! But it's true. I love showing a different side of Lancelot, rather than his womanizing side. It truly gives him more depth and character.

Eek, so many more songs to add! I'm like bombarding everyone with all these songs. But I'm happy that you like it!

lol There's only so much sexual tension a man can take, eh? I feel like patting Galahad on the head. But yeah, it's totally fun thinking of ways to postpone how she feels. But I have an inkling that she can't do it for much longer...

Ah, I love you! You're such a faithful reader and reviewer, and you totally boost my spirits. I will definitely keep writing and improve my style!

I'm pretty sure you're not bad at driving! If you were bad, you would've crashed! lol I'm pretty sure your dad wasn't lying! I mean, think about it -- if you were bad, wouldn't he be scared to death of crashing instead of telling you you did great! lmao!

Kates: First of all...WELCOME BACK! I hope you had fun on your trip! But yes, many things certainly have happened. Don't you feel like this is a medieval soap opera? Because that's how I'm somewhat picturing this to be! lol At least it's not that cheesy!

Let's all throw Lancelot a consolatory party and comfort him, hmm? It'll be interesting to see who he jumps on first! hahaha I'm kidding. Well...that would be cool, though... .clears throat.

Trust me, I was even planning to elongate this story even more, but...I seriously just want to write the good parts! There are sooo many more things to come -- more destiny, more conflict, more romance and drama! Man, I just love writing these knights and drawing out their characters. I'm happy that I'm on when it comes to their characterizations, though, and that, even if they do change, they do it realistically. Totally what I'm going for.

Oh, Galahad, Galahad. I've met my share of men like him. They just want everything, don't they? He just really needs to think this out and make up his bloody mind, because he's screwing up his chances with both women. Karma sucks too, so he should watch out for that. But I totally agree with what you said. He reminds me of those little kids who cross their arms and stomp around angrily when their parents punish them. (Story idea! Arthur and his knights when they were teenagers! hahaha OMG that would be interesting!) I love the way I can irritate and anger the readers. .grins impishly. Creating empathy is totally something I want to practice in my writing!

And with Lancelot -- here's a man trying to change, but these circumstances just keep pushing him back. Will he be strong enough to fight it and go for what he truly wants? Or will he turn back to his womanizing ways? Hmm...

In all honesty, this story was supposed to be a LancelotOC when I first started, but then I fell in celebrity love with Hugh Dancy and thought, "Hey, it'd be cool to have a love triangle instead!" So, voila! I was thinking of writing a TristanOC story after this as well, so we'll see where that takes me. Right now, I barely have time to write this story! lol But anyway, thank you for your kind review, and yaye, you're all caught up! Cheers!

Thanks also goes out to: Arabelle James, cleopatra32003, DeathDealer210912, Fallen Ashes, Gerdie, i heart coffee, janell, kdawn7, Lady of Trebond, makedamnsure, mangoskin93, tvfanatic64, xOxO.rOmance, ZELINA - Thank you guys for your interest in the story! You're all awesome!

t t t

CHAPTER 28

An eerie silence enveloped Arthur's castle, its inhabitants still keeping company with slumber. In only a few moments, the sun would languidly peek out from the horizon, emanating steady rays of hues of gold. Torches continued to light the chamber hall, shadows dancing about them, enjoying their last few moments of life. A lone figure now stood within these halls, still as a marble statue.

Merlin had been standing in front of Lourdes' chamber door for many moments, plagued with much indecision. He clicked his staff pensively onto the stone ground, its soft echo livening the bare corridor. His rising concern had only been fueled by the conversation that he had shared with Arthur, with the knight voicing his own doubts and worries. The firm resolve in his mind had degenerated a little by the mention of possible circumstances and consequences. Was it truly for Lourdes' best interest to leave Arthur's realm, to leave Sarmatia and journey into hostile Shinodian territory? Was not the maiden content with being here, even through all her grief, spending time with the knights and Guinevere? Was he only going to bring her more unhappiness when he breaks the news to her?

As he lifted his clenched fist onto the door, it swung open without warning, though not giving the old Woad a start. Lourdes nearly collided with the him, though managed to stop herself as she poised to close the door. A look of panic beset her face as she stood, frozen, face to face with Merlin. He examined her peculiar reaction, then noted the bag that she had recklessly flung over her shoulders and the cloak that she was wearing. The Woad furrowed his brows, his previous thoughts suspended.

"It seems that you have read my mind, different one." He meant for this to be a light statement, though a hint of question lined his voice. Motioning his head towards the belongings that she held, the shock in her face slowly dissipated, only to be replaced by a look of distress.

"Merlin, I can explain..." Dropping her bag to the ground, she took the Woad's hands, bringing them to her forehead, as if pleading for him not to reprimand her.

He only looked at her compassionately, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Lourdes, I shall not ask why you decided to take flight. I am not even going to ask where you decided to go." He breathed out, almost in relief, before admitting, "But if it is your wish to leave Arthur's realm, then I will not carry the guilt of telling you about what we are about to embark upon once more."

A mixture of perplexity and confusion appeared on her face, the fear of admonishment and punishment all gone. "I...I don't understand."

With another heavy sigh, Merlin finally extended his elbow to her. Taking it gingerly, Lourdes followed him down the long, damp corridor, making their way into the gardens just adjacent to the chambers. The sun was only about to rise, its fiery rays peeking through the distant mountain ranges. Birds began to chirp all around them, increasing with volume as they approached. The beauty of the scene before them seemed only an illusion, the circumstances of their lives not having much resemblance to what nature was currently exhibiting. In silence, Merlin noted the slight trembling of her hand, his concern rising for her well-being and state.

Lourdes almost dreaded what the Woad was meaning to tell her, yet, she also had faith that Merlin would only have her best intentions in mind, that he would not never do or say anything that would hurt her intentionally. If anything, his words and wisdom would only bring her solace, free her from the torment that had mercilessly enchained itself to her being. As the two sat down in a marble grotto at the centre of the garden, Merlin began in the cryptic tone that was beginning to become his trademark...

"Lourdes, there is more to your past than what I have told you."

Eyes widening, she swallowed, tearing her eyes away from the old Woad. Now, the feeling of dread only increased in intensity, mixing with the butterflies in her stomach. Even before the Woad began, she already felt her breath becoming more erratic, as if her mind was bracing itself for more circumstances to cause her even more pain.

The Woad closed his eyes, as if concentrating on his thoughts and seeing the vivid images that his mind projected. "When you were given to me for protection, I was told that I was to raise you as my own, to teach you the Woadian ways, to keep you strong and healthy." He paused, smiling at the memories of her interactions with his Woadian peoples. "Though, I was also told that when you were older and strong enough, it was imperative that you returned to your ancestral lands." Even with Lourdes' stupefied expression, he continued. "So you see, even if the Saxon incursions had not forced you into hiding and running, we would still be on this journey together -- for you and I both have duties yet to fulfill."

"But the Shinodians attacked Arthur's realm, and are attacking all of Sarmatia for that matter!" she cried angrily, standing up as raw emotion once more took over her. How could Merlin even think of doing such a thing? "I shall not return to the lands of murderous, despicable people!"

"Lourdes, your mother and father would never commit such atrocities, not in their entire lifetime." Merlin stated with conviction, exhibiting his unperturbed mind. "I have no doubt that the Shinodian warriors that are attacking Sarmatia, and those who have attacked Arthur's realm, are not under their command."

"You have too much faith in my 'parents'." She spat, vengeance for Aiden's death fueling her hatred and the coldness of her speech towards the elder. "How can you even know that this is true? You base your judgements on two royal people, both, with a flick of their wrist, would have the power to kill thousands. We all lust for power, Merlin, and there is doubt in my mind - as should there be in yours."

The conviction in her voice only compelled Merlin to respond. He replied slowly, "And you base your judgements on your people by what a few of them have done. As is highly unlikely, even if your mother and father did send those warriors that are attacking Sarmatia, their actions does not speak for your entire people." He gave her a tender smile, repeatedly running his palm on her head soothingly. "Different one, maybe you should also have some faith in your mother and father."

This statement caught her throat. Have faith in two people whom she had never met? Have faith in those that may be responsible for the devastation in and destruction of Sarmatian lands? Had Merlin gone completely daft!

"What is our course of action, Merlin?" she finally responded, tight-lipped, still not convinced with Merlin's reasonings.

"'Tis fortunate that you have already gathered your belongings, different one," Merlin replied, gripping his staff as he stood. "Because we leave today."

Lourdes did not exhibit the true impact of his words on her being. She merely sat on the marble seat, gripping the skirt of her dress, countenance devoid of emotion. She was to agree to embark on a perilous journey, to leave behind so many whom she cared for and to blindly search for a family of equivocal nature. Though, was this not the original purpose of her journey east with Merlin and the Woads, even as the civil war raged in Shino? Did she really expect that she would be able to live in Arthur's realm, in peace and in safety, when so many of her Shinodian peoples were infiltrating Sarmatian lands?

Galahad, her conscience screamed, the events of yesternight replaying vividly in her memory. By the Roman God, all this time, he loved her.

He loved her.

And yet, why was it so wrong? Why were their circumstances the way they were, as if an invisible wall always kept them apart, and even though they kick and scream to break it, it continues to hold firm? The expectations of society continued to keep them from each other, under lock and key. They had once again acted upon impulse, doing something that was morally wrong once more. In the end, it only added to what Lourdes was feeling, to the emotions that were already tearing her up inside. Though she didn't want the feeling of being with Galahad to end -- the feel of his hands on her body, the touch of his lips on her skin -- she tried to block it all out, as his circumstances were still unchanged.

He was still an engaged man.

She felt as though her heart could bear no more torture, which explained her previous intention of running away. What else was she to hope for? How could she stay here and be truly happy with Galahad when the guilt of what she had done will continuously haunt her? How could she be with Galahad if Lancelot's icy stare would always meet hers, reminding her of what he had witnessed, a mark of what she had previously done? And Lancelot -- her mind then flashed to his bitter stare, his infuriated steps echoing throughout the hall, and the abruptness of his departure. How her heart ached even more because of him. She wanted so desperately to explain to him what truly transpired, to alter what he currently thought of her, to explain to him how she really felt...

...To say what she truly felt about him.

But would he even listen?

No, she would no longer elicit anymore harsh feelings within and between the Sarmatian peoples. Her presence had only been a curse on them. Then, finally swallowing her indecision, Lourdes nodded obediently.

She would leave for Shino.

t t t

"Sir Arthur!"

Arthur was promptly shaken from his pensive state, his elbows leaning on the balcony ledge as he surveyed a boy messenger bouncing up the courtyard stairs. The flapping of his soles echoed throughout the ramparts, gaining some of the guards' attention as he zigzagged his way through those that patrolled the area. Tristan, whose back was leaning on the balcony ledge, his arms and legs crossed, observed the young lad with squinted eyes. His hawk squawked as if in warning, perched contentedly on his shoulder. As the boy finally managed to reach the two knights, he doubled over to catch his breath.

"Yes?" Arthur replied in a kind manner, turning towards the boy.

"A message from Lord Theodore, sir." He breathed out lightheartedly, eyeing the two knights alternately with twinkling eyes before he continued. "He wishes to hold counsel with you and your knights."

With raised eyebrows, Arthur twisted his head back to Tristan, the scout appearing as doubtful as he. Tristan only replied with a shrug and a gruff murmur, eyes landing on the young boy, his cold stare making him cower back a few steps.

"Let him know that I will hold counsel with my knights before I send for a reply." Arthur knew that Lord Theodore would always be seen as an unwelcome guest by the knights, especially by Lancelot and Galahad. And yet, his sense of duty and courtly order provoked him to think otherwise. Was it not Lord Theodore who aided them during their time of need, helping them gain the victory over the Shinodian peoples when they were so close to retreat? In a sense, Arthur felt even indebted to this irreputable man, setting aside for a moment the fact that he had sent assassins for Lourdes.

Evoking furrowed brows from both knights, the boy shook his head repeatedly. "The Lord is already on his way here, sir, coming from the west. He shall arrive in a few hours."

The night of the raid was not lost on Tristan. He paced a few steps towards the boy, grabbing the front of the his tunic and pulling him roughly forward. "Then I suggest you get back to him as soon as you can and tell him that he is not welcome here."

"Terrorizing little boys now, Tristan?" Gawain sounded as he joined the three with one of Bors' little bastards on his shoulders. Stopping at the boy's side, he ruffled his hair. "The little imp do something to upset you?"

The scout only gave him a tired look before releasing the frightened boy. He ran, as fast as his little feet could carry him, out of the castle grounds.

"Tristan." Arthur finally sounded, placing an understanding hand on his shoulder. "I feel the exact same way you do. But we all know that the village, and even the castle, would have been lost if it were not for Lord Theodore and his knights."

As Tristan replied with a murmur, Gawain lowered Number 9 to the ground, his face becoming distorted in his state of perplexity. "Lord Theodore? Why do you speak of him?"

Arthur exhaled, his indecision now clearly showing. "He desires to hold counsel with us."

Gawain stood there, motionless, trying to comprehend the situation. "I smell a trap." He commented after a few moments, motioning his head to where the messenger had stood with the same expression that was on Tristan's countenance. "What if he is only here to find Lourdes, to make sure that the deed was done according to plan?"

Arthur thought for a moment, then gave his head a shake. "I do not think that will be a problem." He replied with a hint of melancholy. "Today, she leaves with Merlin and a band of Woads for Shino."

Tristan and Gawain simultaneously snapped their heads up at this. Arthur merely tilted his head in understanding, the three knowing what the consequences of this move would be. They all had their doubts, and yet, they reminded themselves that the Old Woad had brought her this far with no major incidents, that the only harm that had come upon her was when she had disobeyed his orders. Even though their instincts rejected the idea outright, they placed their trust on Merlin and his decision.

"Do the other knights know?" Gawain piped up, slightly shifting his eyes as he gave a half shrug. "Er...do Lancelot and Galahad know?" The knight only mentally shook his head, already knowing how the two would react to such news. Especially with Galahad and his hot temper, Gawain predicted that they were certainly in for another show.

Arthur shook his head curtly. "I have not yet told them." He twisted his head towards the quiet knight. "Tristan, set out for the other knights. We shall see to it that Lourdes and the Woads depart safely. 'Tis fortunate that they are heading eastwards, for there is less of a chance of them meeting Lord Theodore and those who ride with him." With one final sigh, he finished, "Then, we shall wait and see why Lord Theodore desires to hold counsel with us."

t t t

Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down, this picture's frozen and I can't get out

Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down, this picture's frozen and I can't get out of here

Believe me, I'm just as lost as you.

And every time I think I've finally made it

I learn I'm farther away than I have ever been before

I see the clock and it's ticking away, and the hourglass empty

What the fck do I have to say?

Keep it inside, the image portrayed

As if I couldn't stand losing, as if I couldn't be saved, no way

A small confession I think I'm starting to lose it

I think I'm drifting away from the people I really need

A small reflection on when we were younger

We had it all figured out 'cause we had everything covered

Now we're older its getting harder to see

What this future will hold for us, what the fck are we going to be?

...Release me, I'm just as lost as you.

So lost, I'm just as lost as you

Oh well, what am I going to do?

I'm afraid I'm falling farther away (from where I want to be)

- "Still Frame" by Trapt

t t t

"I never had the chance to thank you for saving my life that night."

Startled by the sudden speech, Lourdes alertly turned to the sound of Isabella's soft voice. The woman held her hands together, twisting them slightly, as she kept her head bowed, eyes blankly staring at the ground. Immediately, Lourdes felt the uneasiness in her stance and recognized the uncertainty that lingered on her countenance. Lourdes received a slight nudge from her mare, as if giving her some encouragement, as she stood still, completely unprepared for their meeting. The two women remained quiet, with only the rustling of the nearby trees and the distant neighing of the horses surrounding them as they stood a few metres apart in front of the stables.

Swallowing, Lourdes completed to tie her sac to the side of her mare, pacing a few steps towards the sullen woman. Guilt had already begun to scream at her, tying her stomach into knots and increasing her pulse. Exhaling once, Isabella finally managed to meet her questioning gaze.

"You love him, don't you?"

Lourdes' eyes widened instantly, mouth agape, unable to conceal the shock at Isabella's succinct statement. She tried to croak out an answer, but something caught her throat as the lightheaded feeling began to afflict her. Isabella, though, seemed unaffected, the expression on her countenance steadfast as she waited for her response.

Consumed with guilt at the woman's obvious grief, Lourdes moved swiftly to Isabella's side, taking her hands and shaking her head with conviction. "Isabella..."

The tiny woman glanced up at her, her bright blue eyes now brimming with tears at her frustrations. "You deny that you love him?"

Lourdes cursed inwardly. How was she to explain to the woman how she truly felt when she could not understand her feelings herself? So many opposing thoughts plagued her mind that she did not reply, though Lourdes' silence was enough of an answer for Isabella.

The woman nodded her head knowingly, sorrow never leaving her tear-filled eyes. "He loves you too, you know." She gave out a half-hearted laugh, one lined with sadness as she tried to cope with her situation. Lourdes swallowed as she bit her lip, her eyes darting back to Isabella's blue orbs. The woman continued, gripping her hand tightly. "At first I thought that it was merely a woman's silly notion, when I saw how the two of you acted when you were together and when you were not." She shook her head as she scoffed bitterly. "I should have known and realized that it was not a notion, but 'twas woman's intuition."

"Isabella, please, you have to understand..."

"Think you I could not see the way that he looked at you?" Her voice shook even more at her assertion, the situation tearing her apart inside. She gripped Lourdes' clenched hands even more tightly. "I love him, Lourdes, with all my heart. But that is not enough for him."

Lourdes could feel the tears threatening to form in her own eyes, the guilt and sympathy recklessly colliding within her. "He cares for you, Isabella, deeply." She replied soothingly, glancing at the woman's eyes alternately as she placed her hands on the sides of her arms. "Truly, you must know that."

Isabella gave her a half-hearted smile, flashes of the memories she had shared with Galahad appearing in her mind. Though, in the end, she shook her head. "But he does not love me as much as I love him."

At that, Lourdes did not know what to say. What else could she contribute to this woman's pain? She would not dare tell her the truth of what happened yesternight: the words that Galahad had spoken to her, the moment of passion that they had shared.

Lourdes did not want to exacerbate the situation. Knowing that she could not speak for Galahad, she only managed a weak, "I am sorry."

Through her tears, Isabella laughed, placing her hand to her mouth in order to control her sobs. "It even surprises me that I am not angry at all of this, Lourdes. I was never a jealous woman." She paused, tearing her eyes away from Lourdes'. "Though, I shall admit that I am hurt -- hurt that he had played such a game, made me feel as though he loved me, even if it was just a little."

Sheer empathy coursed through Lourdes' being, and she embraced the woman, rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. "Isabella, fate has played with both of our lives, with both of our hearts." She pulled away from Isabella, keeping her hands on her shoulders. Lourdes clenched her jaw, lifting up her chin as she stated. "I cannot deny that I was heartbroken when I returned after all these months, only to see that he was engaged to you."

"Then we have both hurt each other."

Lourdes shook her head instantly, brows furrowed. "I never meant to hurt you."

Isabella gave her a small smile, rubbing the side of her arm. "I know you did not." She paused, as if to regain her composure, then glanced back up at Lourdes. "You have a history, then?" Her question was merely a statement that required confirmation.

Lourdes closed her eyes, exhaling. "There were many things that happened, unforeseen circumstances that beset the both of us. These events were beyond our control, and we sought comfort in each other." Lourdes took a breath, images of what she and Galahad had shared flashing through her mind. "He and I...I cannot explain it! I cannot even make sense of it!"

"You suffer from what has afflicted Galahad, then?" Isabella's sobs had halted, and the woman was able to keep her voice steady. "Or do you not love the knight with your entire heart?"

"Lady Lourdes!"

At the call, the two turned their gazes towards a Woadian warrior, sheepishly beckoning for Lourdes to come. "Different one, we are told to meet Merlin in the courtyard."

"I will be there in a minute." She replied politely, nodding to him. As the Woad bowed to her courteously, the change in Lourdes' countenance was almost instant, her tear-filled eyes now hardened into stone, her jaw firm and unyielding, her lips pressed into a thin line. "I am sorry for what has happened, for everything that has happened." Isabella nodded in silent acceptance, though wiping her tears with the back of her hand was she ran her fingers through her hair. "Find the happiness that you seek, that you deserve. Forget about what has transpired and move forward. Isabella, you will no longer have to tolerate my presence." Lourdes could feel her heart breaking, but she fought the emotion, controlling her speech. "I am leaving in a few moments...and I do not plan to return."