I just had this idea for the next chapter so I decided to write it. Hope you guys don't mind getting two chapters today lol. Thank you The Lunar Kunoichi. I completely forgot about that detail but I quickly solved that problem :)

Chapter 4: Regret

As soon as I got home I jumped out of the car, ran upstairs and took a bath. Thank god Charlie wasn't home. I scrubbed my alabaster skin until it was pink. If I was going to keep the Cullens from Charlie than I would have to take precautions.

After my sanitization like bath I ran through the house spaying febreeze everywhere. Once I was certain the smell of vampires I trailed in was gone I went to my car. After sitting in my seat relishing in the smell of Edward that still lingered I decided to just hope Charlie didn't go into my car and left it how it was.

As I cooked dinner I finished the bit of home work I was assigned. Unfortunately it didn't take me long and I found myself daydreaming about a man with bronze hair while I stirred the spaghetti.

The sound of the phone ringing cut my fantasy off abruptly, much to my disappointment.

"Hello?"

"Hello my little sister," it was easy to recognize Simon's voice.

"Ah, did you miss me all ready?" I couldn't help but tease. At least this was keeping my mind occupied.

I heard a snort on the other end of the line. "Ya, right." Leave it to Mitch to shower me in sarcasm. And leave to my brothers to use speaker phone.

Talking to my brothers turned out to be the perfect way to pass the time. They told me about living in there dorm, how they went to a party the night before and got drunk for the first time. I wasn't afraid about if they got laid or not. Goras will only give themselves to their meleth. We're loyal creatures. They sounded like they were enjoying themselves. I kept my description of my day short and sweat and quickly changed the subject.

When supper was done I had to let them go, not before they started a chorus of asking me to come down and cook supper for them. I laughed at their joke, but I knew they were missing me and Charlie. I knew I was missing them.

I ate supper alone. Charlie had started a job at the police station, so no doubt he was doing some paper work for his first day.

After fixing a plate for Charlie and doing the few dishes I found myself in my room, sprawled on my bed, thinking about the one thing that wouldn't leave my mind.

I'll see him tomorrow. It was almost as if I was promising myself so I wouldn't go nuts. But even with this promise I found myself wishing I would back down. That I would give up and just go up to Edward tomorrow and tell him everything.

What if he runs away? A small voice asked.

That caught me off guard. What if he didn't want me as his mate and once I told him his family ups and leaves? What if the joining didn't happen to him like it did for me? I mean a Goras has never had a vampire meleth, what if their bodies don't allow then to go through Goras rituals? What if he was scared at what I was?

These questions haunted me. I found myself in pain, physical pain. I was being torn, pull so forcefully by different things that I had no idea what to do.

The sound of the front door informed me of Charlie's return. I heard him climb the stairs and make his way to my room.

"Come in," I said after Charlie knock on my door. That's something I love about my dad. He respected other's space.

He came and sat on the side of my bed and took my hand. His eyes looked sad. It was obvious he was missing home. But he quickly hid his sorrow and gave me a small smile.

"How was school?" I gave him the same short and sweat story I had give my brothers. I informed him that his supper was in the microwave and about my brothers call.

My dad looked at me for a moment and I tried to hide the guilt I'm sure was seeping through. I didn't lie, but not telling him the whole truth felt like a sort of betrayal. However my dad nodded, seeming to buy my speech.

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry," he whispered, "This will get easier, until you feel as if you were meant to live like this." Who was he trying to convince? Me or him?

He got up and was opening my door when he stopped to look back at me.

"The next few days should cheer you up." His smile was contagious and I couldn't help my lips from turning up at the sides.

"Why?" I was genially curious.

"It's suppose to be sunny for the rest of the week. Weren't you complaining about the rain when we got here?"

I had a hard time getting the shock look off my face. "Ya, I did."

"I going to eat my dinner than head to bed, night." With that he shut the door and left me with my sorrow.

I was almost hyperventilating. Sunny for the rest of the week? I wouldn't get to see Edward till Monday. I couldn't stop the few tears from leaking from my eyes. Thank goodness I didn't get rid of Edwards sent from my car. I would be able till live without have that sent surround me each day.

Desperate to distract myself I turned on my radio. That only made it worse.

I don't need a lot of things I can get by with nothing Of all the blessings life can bring I've always needed something But I've got all I want When it comes to loving you You're my only reason You're my only truth

I need you like water Like breath, like rain I need you like mercy From heaven's gate There's a freedom in your arms That carries me through I need you

You're the hope that moves me To courage again You're the love that rescues me When the cold winds, rage And it's so amazing 'cause that's just how you are And I can't turn back now 'cause you've brought me too far

I need you like water Like breath, like rain I need you like mercy From heaven's gate There's a freedom in your arms That carries me through I need you

I was drowning in me tears by the end of the song. All the emotions going through me, confusion, love, hurt, guilt, all found there way out trough my tears.

I quickly turn the radio back off and curled up on my side. As sleep started to take me my only thought was I need Edward.

The song was I need you by Leann Rhimes. I always think of Bella when I hear it so I decided to plop it in here. Review Please :)