MoonDragon: I got this up pretty quickly compared to the other chapters, huh? Ha ha, I actually started and stopped a lot. Each time I got a review I worked more and more on it. This chappy is important, and was kind of fun to write. It leads to a lot of important things and stuff and I won't say anymore because I seem to be rambling. So, thanks for all the reviews, and, yay, this story finally has 20,000 hits! Excited I am! Now I must feast upon your new reviews.
Unspoken Memories
Chapter 20
Well under way into the fight, Usagi rotated on the heel of her foot dodging the backhand the youma catapulted at her. This model was a fairly human-like one with azure blue skin, pitch black eyes, pointed ears, and black claws. Besides those animalistic features, it held a human appearance. Its greatest fault was its unbelievably slow movement, but it made up for it in brute strength. As she dodged, instinctively she tried to pivot in a counterattack, but she became distracted midway as her mind clouded with thoughts.
'I wonder if the senshi could handle this battle if they were here…' she pondered bringing up a hand to catch the youma's fist as if it were only a softly thrown baseball. 'What would they think if they got involved before they got their memories back? Could they get involved without them? Is it right to be their friend again even though they don't know a thing? Would they interfere anyways if I didn't meet back up with them because it's their instinct to fight? I won't have this jeopardizing their dreams, though. They need to finally enjoy their lives.'
Right then, what Minako told her after she regained her memories played back in her head so clearly she was almost convinced the blond was behind her actually saying it.
"We did enjoy life! We had so much fun together everyday, even with fighting youmas on the side!"
Oh, how Usagi yearned she could trust those words from her friend and let that turn into the courage needed to return their memories, yet it wasn't enough. 'Even if they could deal with the youma's while having a good life, they're in high school! This would distract them from their dreams and their grades! I can't do that to them! They could die, too! I can't take that risk again! I'm not losing them a third time! But will they forgive me…? Could they forgive me…?'
"Don't you trust us anymore?!" Minako's words shouted as an image of her came into mind; eyes burning with rage from being left out and sorrow for Usagi's sake.
A sudden ache tugged at her heart and she flinched from the sensation.
'What about Mamoru-kun? If we get together, he'll surely find out I'm Sailor Moon… again. Would he fight to protect me like he used to? Could he without transforming into Tuxedo Kamen, who he now knows nothing about? Could he forgive me for this…?'
Her head started ringing as if it were a bell being struck too hard. Without knowing, she cradled her cranium in her hands leaving herself wide open for attack. Her knees wobbled shakily as if they were transforming into liquid.
'And what about Chibiusa-chan? How does she fit into all of this? Where did she come from, and why does she want revenge enough so badly that she's willing to commit murder? Should I stand in her way, saying that killing others is wrong, when I might very well have to do it myself some day? Wouldn't that make me a hypocrite? What kind of heroine would that be? I have to think about the kids who look up to me, they can't see Sailor Moon as that kind of person…
'What am I supposed to do?'
The youma's fist connected cleanly to her jaw causing her neck to twist back enough to crack a few times. Regaining her composure before she bulleted in reverse, Sailor Moon allowed herself to fall back onto her palms. Using the concrete as leverage, she back-flipped herself a few times pivoting away from the youma to catch her breath at a safe distance.
"Don't you trust us anymore?!" It felt as if someone was in all four sections of her heart striking at the red walls around it, each blow affecting her more than the last. It was getting hard to breath.
"Are you all right?" Luna questioned running in close enough so Usagi could hear. She and Artemis had joined her this time on the battlefield trying to be of any assistance they could. As the feline spoke, the white one ran out onto the grounds and distracted the youma allowing the heroine to take a much needed break.
"Yeah… I'm fine," she replied, panting. Her cheeks puffed up and were bright pink in exhaustion which greatly troubled her advisor. Usagi's eyes were glazed over from her thoughts and felt hazy. It felt as she was looking through the air just about a roaring fire; muddled and obscure.
The fight hadn't started too long ago, and Sailor Moon knew she shouldn't be this worn out yet. As it seemed, it was like she reverted back to her poor skills when she first started out as Sailor Moon. The silver haired girl wiped the sweat off her brow rearranging her footing trying to grab hold of her second wind.
'All right? I'm anything but! I haven't eaten anything since that ice-cream with Haruka-kun, and I'd do anything to fall asleep right now. I can't possibly fight like this!' the relational side of her mind bellowed. She grimaced preparing to get back into the battle listening to what the other half of her was saying. 'But I have to deal with this, no matter how I'm feeling. Stupid Nokemono, haven't they ever heard of vacation time?' Internally she sighed. 'The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can go to bed… I have school tomorrow, too. I've already skipped too many days, I absolutely have to go. And my grades… I don't even want to think about how bad they must be…'
"Sailor Moon!" Artemis shouted, directing the youma over her way. The heroine nodded seriously planting her feet into the ground pointing straight at its head with her index finger.
"Don't you trust us anymore?!" Sailor Moon flinched.
"O-On it!" she forcibly declared feeling the familiar warmth of her energy gathering at her fingertip. A few feet before he collided into Usagi, he made a sharp 90 degree turn to the left joining up with Luna who was getting out of the way. Unable to stop its momentum, the youma charged ahead into a soon-to-be head-on collision with its enemy.
'Got to finish this,' she thought, but suddenly thought of Tuxedo Mask. If he were still around he would interject right about now whisking her away from danger in his comforting arms. She shook her head trying to get rid of the image. 'What am I going to do about him? And the senshi? What about Chibiusa? I'm surprised she hasn't shown up yet.' She started to sweat in a different way from exhaustion as her eyes flickered unhealthily not even focusing on the battle.
'What am I supposed to do about all of this?'
"Don't you trust us anymore?!"
'I don't… I don't know what to do…'
Inches from being head-butted squarely in the gut, Sailor Moon weakly shouted, "Star Slayer!" The familiar gold-white light balled up at her fingertip ready to be unleashed, but it didn't go at all as planned.
What was supposed to come out as a potently charged beam of pure energy which would plow through and slice and dice the enemy in seconds actually came out relating more to a sparkler. Wide-eyed, Usagi could only watch in horror as it gave a third-degree burn to the navy colored youma as it slammed its head straight into her stomach. Coughing up blood into her gloved hand, she was thrown back into a nearby building. Falling onto her knees which shook like a cell phone on vibrate mode, she sat back clearly in shock.
"What happened?" she whispered, not bothering to put up a resistance toward the stationary threat clicking its claws together in pain. "Why didn't it come out right…?"
Sailor Moon tried channeling her powers again focusing on the Silver Crystal beside her heart only to feel immense pain in doing so. The throbbing made her whole body jump a centimeter off the ground each time her heart pounded. Each little vein seemed to burn white-hot and double in size, the major ones coming visible through her skin most noticeable on her neck which was practically bulging out. Cringing, she collapsed on her stomach, cheek slapping onto the pavement. Usagi gasped for air as if the oxygen in the area had been sucked up. Her vision was darkening.
"Sailor Moon!!" Luna and Artemis both bellowed in pure shock. Their feet seemingly glided over the pavement they were so fast getting to her side; wracked with worry and heart-stopping fear. "Sailor Moon, what's wrong?! Can you hear us? Sailor Moon!!"
"Don't you trust us anymore?!"
"Don't know… anymore…" she managed to get out as the light in her silver eyes grew darker. Minako's words kept repeating like a chant, chaining her heart into a corner. Her mind realized the youma was still charging in on them like bull on steroids, but her heart just could find the spirit to fight.
"Sailor Moon!!" Luna cried, tears cascading down her cheeks as she pawed at her friend's face trying to keep her awake and with them. Artemis, eyes glimmering as they misted, turned his back letting Luna handle the situation as he was about to wrestle with the oncoming one. He might not be able to do anything, but he could at least buy Usagi some time to recuperate from whatever it was she was going through.
"Don't you trust us anymore?!"
"… I… I… I don't know what to do anymore!!" she cried out.
Usagi's cry made her throat clench up as if someone were choking her. The senshi were haunting her within her mind, each giving her a disappointed look. Was this issue really about trusting them? But she did trust them; with her life even! There was no one else in the entire universe she could trust more than them.
'But… do I trust them with their own lives?'
"We'll die if you don't get back up!" the white feline shakily called out, all four legs about to give out under him as the danger grew nearer.
Artemis brought her out of the ensnaring tangles of her mind. Now wasn't the time to ponder. She couldn't die yet. Not wanting to go out like this, pulling whatever energy she had within her out with all of her might, she unleashed it in a desperate attempt to live. She picked out the attack that came to mind first. As the energy gathered forcibly, it felt white hot in her veins as it traveled to her hand.
"Lunar Eclipse!"
This attack, as well, was severely downgraded, disappointingly. Its threatening size of a towering, beastly poacher shriveled into the size of a basketball, but that would be all she needed. Her will twisted and guided the pool of black shadow up the youma's leg. Not big enough to swallow the entire prey, Sailor Moon made it cover only the area in which its heart resided in.
Then, glaring, she let the power go and watched as the youma fall to the ground scratching at its chest to no avail. The darkness ate through its skin and completely digested its chest and heart, leaving nothing left to keep the youma alive. It fell, lifeless, onto the pavement, and the heroine and two felines watched as the wind carried off the dust the youma was transforming into.
"Phew!" Artemis exclaimed, slinking down onto his belly laughing unevenly. "I thought I was a goner…"
"Usagi-chan…" Luna whispered nuzzling her cheek. With forced effort Usagi managed to turn onto her back breathing aloud. She clutched at her heart which made her body throb with each beat. Quickly she changed back into her civilian form before the people began to swarm the area again now that the danger had been defeated.
"Can you stand?" the white cat inquired seeing how difficult it was for her to just turn positions. "What happened back there?"
"I don't… know," she answered struggling to get on her knees. "Something's happened… Something's different, something's changed…" As Usagi continued to breathe in deeply and steadily she found the pain beginning to reside back to how she was before the battle, which wasn't much better; starving, exhausted, and incredibly sleepy. Still, it allowed her to get up on her feet.
"This is bad. What if this wasn't a one time thing? What if you remain this way?! We need to find out what happened! Oh, if only Ami-chan were here, she'd find out in no time at all," the advisor fretted. Hearing her friend's name, her train of thought returned to what she was going to do about the senshi, and her heart pinched.
"Tomorrow… please. I just really need some rest," Usagi whispered already on the pathway to her apartment. Biting her lip, she put her hand to her heart gazing toward the road which she stepped on.
"Don't you trust us anymore?!"
'I have a lot to think about… but I can't seem to collect my thoughts…'
ooOoo
"Tsukino-san!!" the teacher bellowed standing disapprovingly at her desk. Arms folded over his buff chest he glared so hard that the students around her shivered. "If you're going to sleep in my class, then you're not welcome in my class! Go stand out in the hall until the bell rings!!"
Hazily, she rubbed at her eyes letting out a yawn. With the battle last night, she didn't get nearly as much sleep as her body required, but here she was. Usagi couldn't afford to miss school again so soon even though there was no chance of getting into college. But if she couldn't move on to the next level, then at least she wanted to get her high school diploma. Yet even something like that seemed far out of her reach at the way things were going.
"Mmm, right… okay…" she mumbled placing her arms on the desk to help lift herself out of the seat. He was trying to intimidate her with his fierce look and angry pointing finger at the door, but he couldn't scare her; he was a fly compared to a youma. Normally she would pretend, but she was too tired to fake fright. Maybe some other day.
Her classmates snickered and gossiped about her as she closed the door; she could hear them as she leaned her back against the door sliding down to the ground, chin touching her chest, eyes downcast. But she wasn't going to cry.
When this first happened, she would weep over the things they would say about her. Things like how she was so sleepy because she was out prostituting at night to earn some cash, or how her parents kicked her out of the house because she was too stupid and worthless. The latest one was how the only reason she was able to advance into 10th grade was because she was seducing the male teachers with her good looks.
Of course, none of those were true, but no matter what she would say the rumors wouldn't end. Usagi stopped trying a long time ago along with crying over it. She didn't have close friends anymore to worry about how they viewed her, so it wasn't as bad as it could've been. It still hurt, though, every time, but by now she was used to the comments.
Not wanting to stand by the door and hear those horrible lies again, she started wandering the school. The teacher wouldn't even know she left if she made it back there at the end of the period. She needed to get somewhere she could be alone while still being on the school grounds.
Urged by the tempting idea of fresh air, Usagi decided the school roof would be her destination. She had found the stairway leading up to it a little bit into her freshman year. You had to take almost unnoticeable trail up into the greenhouse, which was on top, and it had a doorway leading outside.
Once out there, she smiled letting her worries drift away with the wind along with a lazy yawn. Already the gossip seemed like it didn't even happen. It was now just a numb feeling in a small corner of her heart which was being channeled by breathing in the crisp air.
Walking out to the edge she gazed over the city with a fond look in her eyes as her hand rested on the rail. It was so beautiful, whether it was lit up by the nightlights in the dark or illuminating in the sun as it was now. She loved it more than any other place on earth. This was the town which brought her, the senshi, Luna and Artemis, and Mamoru together again after centuries of being separated. To onlookers it was just an ordinary place, but to her it was an irreplaceable treasure. She would protect it forever.
Usagi wandered about up there trying to find a good place to sit on. Last time she came she sat on the edge, but she was still so tired that she couldn't trust herself to not accidentally fall off. As she searched she made a mental note to not get anywhere near the satellites up there. She didn't want to risk breaking one in a random klutz attack.
Finally, she was satisfied settling down on an elevated triangular patch which must've been there to make the room underneath taller or something. It went up three feet and then started slanting into the triangle roof. She climbed onto the cool, smooth textured elevation; school roofs weren't like the ones for normal houses which were scratchy like sandpaper. It wasn't soft or anything like that, but it was surprisingly comforting. Stretching, she closed her eyes. This spot was definitely a candidate for her new favorite resting place.
"This is what they should let students do at school!" she exclaimed basking in the warm sun. Overhead she could hear the call of a cluster of birds flying by. It was tranquil up there, much unlike the hallways always clustered with people and chatter. She could feel her eyelids getting heavier as she relaxed trying to sleep again. "I wish every day could be this peaceful…"
As she thought of peace, Nokemono came to mind. Sadly, as long as they were around eternal peace would not come to her. Just the thought forcibly dragged her away form her calming mood. She sat back up leaning on her arms behind her on the ground for support. Nokemono made her think of the fight and if they saw what happened or not.
'I wonder what that was about,' she wondered thinking back to the youma. 'My powers…' She sighed tapping her fingers against the roof. It was so strange. That pain had never been brought about from trying to use her powers. Luna had told her it might've been an anxiety attack which messed with her concentration causing the attacks to not work properly. It was logical, and the thoughts she had that night could've given her an attack, but for some reason it still felt unsolved.
'Anxiety is a suspect, most likely the culprit, but I don't think it was that alone. My heart hurt so much… unlike anything I've ever felt before when I tried calling out to the crystal-'
Usagi's eyes widened suddenly realizing something. It stung to use her powers, and the source of her magic was the Silver Crystal. Maybe there was something wrong with it.
With concentration she brought her hands up to heart-level, fingers slightly bent and pointing to the sky as if holding some invisible item. Breathing in and out she shut her eyes as if meditating. When she was completely calm and stable she called forth the Silver Crystal.
Softly, it left her body and phased though her skin. As it left, Usagi felt hallow inside, like she took out a piece of her heart. She could sense it gliding in-between her hands floating in suspension. To solve this problem, Usagi would have to examine the source of her magic.
Eyes closed, she could feel the warmth radiating off of the crystal. It was a comforting ray of light that soothed her. It felt like she had a miniature sun nestled in her hands. Opening her eyes to examine the crystal her heart almost stopped beating.
It was just barely shinning like a night-light. Baffled, she could only stare, mouth agape.
'The crystal… whenever I take it out it sparkles in rainbow colors so brightly that it could almost blind you! Why is it so dim?' It was still beautiful, but it shone in a faded rainbow gleam in a 2-inch diameter surrounded it. 'This is bad. This is really bad! The Silver Crystal is the source of my powers, and it looks like it's running out of light! This has never happened before! I-I don't even truly know what this light is, but it's certainly important. What's happening?!'
Her heart beat thumped against her ribcage so forcibly in fear that it felt like it would break her bones at the rate it was going. Her breathing was shaky as she was at a loss for what she was going to do. Cold sweat broke free form her pores, yet she felt as if she were burning up.
'If the Silver Crystal has something wrong with it, how will I fight? Without it, I barely have any magic; Nokemono will be able to defeat me in a snap! They wouldn't even have to try! What am I going to do? This is the worst timing ever. The youma's will have nothing in their way to destruction when they're summoned! No one will be able to fight them… except the senshi.'
Usagi tried to keep her breathing even, but it was difficult. Her eyes never left the crystal safely between the airspace of her hands.
'Will I have to give their memories back so they can fight in my place? No! No, I can't do that! They shouldn't have to fight because suddenly I might not be able to! But what about the city? What's going to happen to it? The senshi… the crystal… the youmas…'
She could feel herself getting worked up, and her vision began to muddle. The golden haired girl was starting to have another anxiety attack. It felt as if her heart was now in her head pounding against it without hesitance. It was so fast that a hummingbird's wings would have difficulty keeping up. If she didn't get off this train of thought this would continue until she passed out. But what could she do?
"Luna!" she suddenly shouted beginning to calm down. "S-She'll know what's happening; she has way more knowledge on the crystal than I do! She's got to know what's wrong!!"
Just as she came to this realization the door to the green house slammed open. Startled, she was about to make a move to hide the crystal; she was directly across the door in plain view.
Zipping out of the plant-infested room was a white feline with a crescent moon upon its forehead. Usagi sighed in relief even though she was puzzled as to why he was at her school. She wouldn't have to hide if it was just Artemis. He jumped up to where she was breathing harshly. Then he sent her a playful grin.
"Hey," he greeted winking. "I brought you a surprise to cheer you up from last night. It's one part of something that you've wanted to see reallly badly!" Usagi looked around and noticed he had nothing with him. Confused, she cocked her head to the side at him.
"What is it?"
"Just wait a few more- is that the crystal?! Oh shoot! Usagi, put it away! Quickly!!" he shouted just now noticing it.
"What? Why? No one else is here."
Before Artemis could continue they both heard echoing footsteps, and from the sound of them the destination was to where they were. Usagi was about to make a move to hide the Silver Crystal, but she stopped hearing a girl's voice tagging along with the steps.
"-shouldn't be at school, why are you here?!" It grew louder as the quick footsteps came nearer. "Do you know how much trouble you're little stunt caused me?! Oh, when I get my hands on you I'll- ow!" There was a crash indicating the teenage had tripped. Growling with a threatening tone, the feminine voice said, "Artemis…"
Usagi gulped trying to put the Silver Crystal back into her body, but it wasn't something she could rush. Fidgeting in a hurry she tried to concentrate enough to put it back in its place. Artemis threw her an apologizing look, but the teen couldn't blame him; he didn't know she would be having it out. A figure was beginning to appear in the entrance to the roof, but it still wasn't back where it belonged. It was hard to concentrate with the excited and anxious, yet nervous and scared flutter in her chest.
Panting, Minako came into the view of the greenhouse doorway. She rested a hand on the archway holding herself up in exhaustion as she panted from the sprint. Her clothes were ruffled and in some places dirty. Her crash must've knocked over a plant and she must've slipped in it. Sweat dripped down her face as her eyes locked on her pet.
"There you are," she wheezed out triumphantly, a victory smirk plastered on her lips. "You are so in for it…" Then her light blue orbs looked up at Usagi and for a moment they just stared at each other, eyes locked. Minako's reflected curiosity and surprise while Usagi's displayed overwhelming fear because the crystal was only half-way in.