(I don't own IZ all original characters are mine, this was going to be a little interlude featuring Ber's POV of his courtship of the great devourer but after the fourth page I realized it had gotten out of hand. Damn original characters and their plot stealing! Ber's story will be on Deviantart only, along with its companion fic the Irken Explorers so no spoilerific stuff in this chapter)
Once classes started they found that things were far harder than originally expected, Dib hadn't realized that there was so much to Irken politics, he had assumed that it was invade a planet, destroy everything, subjugate the people then eat snacks. Irkens did have several species they had treaties with rather than conquering them outright, Earth was no exception, the Tallest had actually gotten a good deal out of Earth compared to other treaties, Earth however had also gotten a good deal since the other treaties were with races with enough military might to cause Irk problems. He also had to learn quite a bit on internal Irken politics which for the most part was height based, all Irkens had to take some military training if they didn't excel or weren't tall enough they went to other industries mainly Services or Sciences, Services was basically a dead end with little chance of advancement or glory, Sciences could get you a esteemed position of Explorer, Military was were every Irken wanted to be it was the best place for advancement and glory with several levels to advance to including Invader and elite, from Military and sometimes Sciences a Irken could advance to Politics if he was tall enough, thankfully Dib was considered tall for a Irken which was a bit shorter than his human self, he hadn't quite figured out why that was yet, he had also noticed that Kim's Irken form was shorter than her human form which was shorter than her werewolf form and as a human she was a impressive six feet tall, but even her towering werewolf form was no match for the Tallest who both stood well over seven feet tall, Dib guessed that they might be close to eight feet but never having seen a eight foot human he had nothing to compare them to.
If learning Irken politics wasn't bad enough he had basic military training as well, since he was part Irken it was required, he thought dodging bullies and fighting Zim was bad, this was ten times worse after every training session he stumbled out but body and mind sore, he was competing with Irkens half his size, who had already had some military strategy downloaded into their paks, Dib so far had refused any downloads worried that they might contain stuff that would warp his personality, he wanted to finish this as much of his mind intact, he had already suffered from some of the preloaded stuff in his pak, he did feel grateful for some of it though, it had helped him fit in with Irken society, most of his time off he spent in Irken form exploring Irk and not trying to look like a tourist. Kim and Ber had finally gotten out of they're sickening loveydoving stage and were acting more normal, the heavy class load didn't seem to affect Kim much but Dib could see that Ber's and Zim's lekku drooped tiredly at every group outing, he suspected that his did as well but couldn't tell for a ego ridden species they weren't narcissistic mirrors were hard to come by and Dib didn't have enough monies to buy one, perhaps he'll ask Gaz to send one with the next batch of training recruits, and to make it a mandatory packing item for anyone traveling to Irk he was getting a bit tired of seeing messy hair on the other humans, many thankfully had decided to go with the old Earth military tradition of shaving the hair to a manageable length, Dib was growing his out, without a mirror he couldn't do a proper job of shaving around the lekku he had nicked one of the sensitive antenna once and didn't dare try it again until he got a mirror.
Their world narrowed down to classes as what little free time they had Dib called his sister often checking on her and Earth, so far all the Irkens were doing was setting up a big station where mars used to be and recruiting humans, so far they were only taking the willing that met their high standards, so far Earth was thriving under Irken rule, it came as a bit of a surprise when they were on one of group outing to one of Irks many markets, they came across a human selling Earth wares, "Hey if it isn't Earth's favorite heroes! Come here I'll give you a discount" the stall contained all sorts of stuff from all over Earth ranging from silk scarves to poky, Dib found a mirror that was marked at a reasonable price and bought himself a few packages of Earth snacks that he missed, Kim bough a few trinkets and snacks which she shared with Ber, Zim just distained everything until Dib shoved a poky stick in his mouth, he knew it was wheat based an Zim was capable of eating it, instantly there was another poky convert, Zim bought quite a few packages "I'm going to give some to My Tallest, to show them how grateful Zim is to be allowed to train as a Explorer, I won't disappoint them" Zim then left to look for his Tallest.
Dib ever curios asked "So how did you manage to set up shop on Irk so fast?" "Ah you see I was smart, I had a few wise investments already I withdrew them and convinced the board of directors at Membrane labs, to start making transport ships, the Eagles were already faster than the Irken ships, imagine what a fast shipping business could do without items getting damaged in transit, they agreed and also started making fast transportation service between planets, so my investment has gotten me rich, but I also want to see the stars so here I am, I also get to see happy Earth soldiers who gladly buy things that remind them of home, plus Irk merchandise sells well on Earth too, I have to be careful though I can't ship harmful substances so everything is screened both coming and going they only allow me enough water for each stay and I have to wear a atmosphere modifier but all is good." "I'm glad to hear it, I'll give you a recommendation if Zim does give the Tallest pokey you won't be able to keep it on the shelves, you might want to start bringing entire shipments of just poky" "Yes good advise from Dib Membrane, this will make you richer as well" "what?" "You are heir to your father's fortune No? Earth dollars are now as good as Irken monies, you are very rich man, I bet many females both Earth and Irk will want to talk with Dib" the shop keeper winked at Dib he smiled nervously thanked the shop keep and left to catch up with Ber and Kim.
He wasn't sure what to make of it, he didn't know if he wanted to date a Irken female and he was to busy to find a human girl his age that was training on Irk, and even if he did Kim had told him that he would greatly outlive ordinary humans just look at Kim she was nearly 400 years old and she didn't look a day over 25, Irkens could live for up to about a thousand years, he was then sharply wrapped on the head "you almost walked into the tentacle room trust me you don't want to go into that club" "Sorry I was woolgathering" "about?" "Girls and the ethics of dating ether humans or Irkens" "heavy stuff, don't worry about it till the problem comes up", "the shop keeper said that My fathers company is doing great business with Irk and now I'm very rich, he said females of both species will come panting over me" Ber laughed "oh that's rich a Irken female running after a male like a earth dog in heat, you human friend knows little of Irken females, they wont go for a rich male they prefer to get glory and riches on their own. Then they choose a mate equal to them. And for the Earth females most here are to busy in their studies to go boy chasing. So you are safe for now. Worry about it when the female starts to court you not before" "Thanks I feel better"
Zim indeed found his Tallest and presented them with many boxes of poky, they were suspicious of the gift till Zim ate one himself, Purple ever curios when it comes to snacks nibbled a stick, soon the whole box was empty Zim gave him another box "Mine give me!" Red then sampled a box and was soon scarfing them down as quickly as Purple "You Zim good work finding a new and awesome snacks, here go and buy every last one the shop keep has before other Irkens get a hold of them" "Yes my tallest right away my tallest!" Zim scurried off pleased that he had finally really pleased his tallest and he didn't even have to blow anything up.
Finally they were adjusting to the heavy class load after a year, and Dib was getting homesick, there was no growing things on Irk the air always smelled the same, even with it's vast entertainments Irk itself was boring, Gaz for his birthday sent him a miniature fruit tree and sunlamp, he tended it with his water rations, he was carefully trimming it when Zim came in ""Guess what Dib stink?" "What?" "No guess" "Um you blew up something" "Nothing major but that's not what the news is, the Tallest is giving all trainees a summer holiday" "What I thought that Irkens don't take breaks" "They do just usually not trainees, but since there is so many humans training now, and they were all looking wilted, the tallest deiced that the Earth tradition of a holiday is good," "To bad we can't visit Earth it took us a year to get here and the new fast transportation takes 5 months" "Dib we can, the mars station is finished and you have enough monies to transport home" "really that's great who else is coming?" "all of our group, you me and the life pair" Zim had taken to calling Ber and Kim the life pair as they were never seen far apart "when is this holiday?" "a few days from now, Zim plans on buying lots of pokey on Earth, I can use it for many bribes" as soon as the tallest had taken a liking to the new snack many Irkens used hard earned monies to try and secure the snack, the tallest had made a deal with the shop keep for private shipments in exchange for easing his import restrictions, extra water became the hot commodity but sold only to humans, as well as a few other items the humans found harmless but were otherwise contraband. Dib was really looking forward to this trip, and as much as any sibling would hate to admit it he missed his sister.
(Poky poky every where, my favorite is strawberry, and No Dib isn't courting Zim by force feeding him a snack, he was just getting him to shut up about inferior Earth products, as for Zim offering the tallest snacks that just basic hero worship, Irkens bring food to the tallest all the time, in hopes of being recognized by the great ones)