You guys are right, Edward's reaction to Bella's past was not the best. However I have come up with a reason for this. After wallowing, I remembered that vampires can think super fast. So Edward was able to process everything Bella told him, and managed to keep his reaction to a minimal. About Edward thinking about changing Bella, remember Edward is a selfish creature. He'd do anything to keep Bella.

Chapter 12: Needs and Wants

This was the part that I was dreading. I looked into Edward's warm topaz eyes before taking a deep breathe. I stood up slowly and Edward followed my lead.

I took another deep breathe to stop my nerves. "Ok," I whispered mostly to myself. I took a few steps away from Edward so there was more space between us than I would like.

Something must have shown on my face because within seconds I was engulfed in Edward's arms.

"Why are you scared?" he whispered against my hair. Were my emotions so obvious?

"I'm afraid of your reaction to me," I confessed against his chest. His smell was making me a bit disoriented.

Edward lifted me chin so I was looking into his now scorching eyes. "Bella you are beautiful in any form," he spoke with so much sincerity that I couldn't help but believe him. "I will love you no matter what form you are in."

That stopped me for a second. Did he, ever so slightly, tell me he loves me. A goofy smile took over my face. Looking satisfied Edward gave me some room.

I closed my eyes and mentally searched. Goras don't need to get emotional like werewolves to change, we can make ourselves change on demand. It takes some concentration, though; we have to search for a certain part deep within ourselves.

When I found the internal part of me I wanted I felt a shiver run through me. It was surprisingly pleasant. I felt my body changing. My torso elongating, my arms and legs lengthening to around the same size, making me stand on all fours; my tail bone stretching out behind me and wings extending from my back.

I opened my eyes to see Edward. Even though the sun was still shining my eyes could now see past the sparkles and take in his whole form. The shock on his face was rather amusing.

I could imagine what he was seeing. I suppose you could claim I look a bit like a gargoyle, but more feline. My face and body take on a more cat appearance. My body is as white and hard as marble. My bat like wings are twice my body span, making me very fast in flight.

I couldn't help the chestier cat smile as I made my way to Edward. My moves were more graceful and threatening in this form. Very predator like.

Edward no longer looked shocked, but watched me with an eager eye. He seemed to take in every muscle that moved, whenever my tail twitched - which it was now.

I looked at Edward playfully as I rubbed my head against his chest. Even in this form I still reached his shoulder. As I circled him Edward reached a hand out and ran it from my head down to my tail. I arched my back in pleasure.

"I always wanted a cat," Edward said with amusement.

"I'm not a pet," I teased him. My voice came out rougher, but still distinctly mine. I laughed out loud at the look on Edward's face.

"What?" I mocked, still circling him. "Did you think me mute like a dog?"

"No," Edward answered quickly, that crooked smile back on his lips, "nothing of the sort."

Laughing I stood, hunched on my hind legs, and pushed Edward with my front paws. I didn't push him with all my strength, but it was enough to make him stumble back.

I crouched down, ready to pounce, my tail twitching back and farther with anticipation. A playful growl rumbled within me. Seeing what I was going to do Edward too crouched down, growling; playfulness and amusement evident in his eyes.

I wanted to wait to build up the tension, but I had not played in awhile and I was anxious. I pounced at Edward, but he was fast and managed to avoid me. Sensing him about to attack from my left I took to the air. I was cheating I admit, but I hated to lose. I circle Edward over head while he crouched down waiting patiently for my air born attack.

I felt at home in the air. The wind carried with it so many smells that for a moment my natural curiosity almost made me seek out every single scent to identify them. But then I looked down and saw Edward watching my with so much adoration. There was no way I was going anywhere without him.

Bringing my wings to me sides I dived at Edward, unfortunately he was anticipating it. Just before I reached him he moved swiftly to the side then tackled me to the ground. He encircled me with his arms pinning my wings to me. I gave an intimidating growl through my amusement, and tried to roll over. Edward wouldn't have that, as quick as lightning he had me so I was on my back, his body weight keeping my legs from moving. I'm sure that if I wasn't laughing I could have gotten away.

Hearing Edward laugh along with me and with the shear joy of all this, I found myself desperately wanting to be back in my human form. Closing my eyes I quickly found my internal part and shivered as my body changed back to the way it was. Edward's laughing stopped.

I opened my eyes expecting to see topaz staring back at me. But he wasn't looking at me. Correction, he wasn't looking at my face, he was staring down at my nude body. Nude?

I looked over to see my shredded clothes all around the ground. Idiot, how could you forget that when you change you destroy your clothes? And Edward is still pinning me to the ground!

A blush had taken over my once pale body. I looked to find Edward staring back into my eyes. There were so many emotions going through him: lust, determination, guilt…love. He brought his hand up and brushed it against my cheek. My heart was about to burst with the speed it was going at.

Swallowing down my nerves, I brought my hands to intertwine with his. "We aren't fully joined yet," I stated breathlessly.

Edward stared down at me as if he had found his greatest treasure. "No?" he voice came out husky, making my insides clenched.

Before I could answer he brought his head down and started kissing my neck, making it very hard to concentrate. I could feel his cold breathe as he kissed my skin, somehow lightly but still with force.

"Usually after the Nuino ritual, the meleths will -" My breathe caught when Edward started to kiss along my bare shoulders and collar bone.

"They will what?" Edward asked against my skin. His one hand disentangled itself from mine and started moving up my arm.

"They will…" God it was hard to talk with him touching me like this. "They'll perform the Beindal ritual."

Edward laughed against my shoulder making his body rub against mine. "You Goras have such beautiful words for it," he teased, kissing up and down my neck.

"Well they are joined spiritually, but not…" I completely stopped breathing as his other hand started moving up the side of my body.

"Physically," Edward finished my sentence, his breathing was coming in gasps like mine.

He pulled away from my neck and looked into my eyes. I could see the turmoil going on inside him. "Are you sure?" he asked hesitantly.

I nodded. With his eyes still locked with mine he brought his head forward. About an inch away from my lips he stopped. The waiting was killing me, but I let him get comfortable with this. He shouldn't be forced. After only a few seconds his lips came crashing down on mine.

My lips moved against his greedily, wanting more. His hands moved up my body, one tangling in my hair while the other started it's down ward path again. My arms reached around his neck burying themselves in his hair, bringing him closer. I needed him closer.

He moved down to my neck allowing me this chance to breathe. I realized that he was still fully clothed while I was nude. How unfair. My hands reached down to the hem of his shirt and lifted it off him. He sat up, straddling me with his legs. I ogled his perfectly sculpted chest, running my over heated hands along his cold skin, over every muscle.

I noticed when he started to unbutton his pants. I looked back up in his eyes, showing him my want, my need. In just a second the rest of his clothes were off and he leaned over to continued his assault on my mouth. I ran my tongue along his bottom lips, begging for entry. A growl rumbled through him, making me shiver.

He opened to me. His very taste was making me intoxicated, my senses becoming heighten to him, only him. Only Edward. I pushed myself against him, rubbing my hands along his back.

"Edward," I moaned against his mouth. "Please…" I felt a knee wedge itself between my legs, prying them apart. Edward settled between my legs, his hands moving everywhere over my body.

A gasp escaped me as I felt him at my entrance. There was no need for fore play. I was already hot and ready for him. He buried his head in the crook of my neck as he slowly entered, his hands came to rest on my hips.

"Edward," I whimpered closing my eyes. A possessive growl escaped him as his hands tightened.

He stopped right at my barrier. I could feel him gasping for breathing, trying to gain control. He kissed my mouth right before he gave the final push. I gave a cry of pain. Edward started kissing me deeply, trying to distract me from the discomfort.

He started moving at a steady rhythm. Without realizing it I found myself moving with him. My breathing became pants as the pain started to form into pleasure.

"Edward," I moaned more loudly then I wanted to. His only answer was a growl. I could feel something cowling inside me, the walls around him tightening as his pace quickened. Unconsciously I found myself chanting his name.

I felt his lips move to my hear, could hear his own pants for breathe, could feel his cold breathe on my over heated skin. "Come to me, Bella," he commanded in a husky, possessive voice. And that's all it took.

I screamed out my pleasure as lights flooded my sight. I was flying. The sound of Edward whispering my name is the only thing that brought me back to earth, back into his arms.

He had stopped moving, but I could still feel him inside me. He rolled us onto our side, wrapping his arms around me protectively. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, wanting no part of me to be separated from him.

I felt him lean his fore head against mine. Opening my eyes sluggishly I looked into his topaz ones, they were looking at me with so much love it almost hurt. I smiled and leaned in to gently kiss his lips.

"I love you," I have never said a truer thing in my entire life.

"And I you," he whispered. He kissed my fore head, my cheeks, my now closed eye lids and finally my lips.

"Sleep, love," he whispered. I squinted my eyes to notice how dark it had gotten. I snuggled closer to Edward and leaned my head against his shoulder. I fell asleep to the feeling of his hand rubbing soothingly along my back, and to the sound of him humming a unknown tune.

So…what do you think? Review please :)