A/N: I'm having writer's block. I'm writing later chapters, and I'm stuck. I have an idea of what I want to do, but I'm scared that I'm going to regret it. sigh Oh well. I can always make "alternate scenes/endings" later on, if I have the time! lol Anyway, enjoy, and thank you for reading!
If you have the time, check out my Tristan/OC fic, "When Worlds Collide"!
Kates: haha I know what you mean about Lucas! Poor guy, he only wants to protect his sister! This chapter will explain a lot of things. Ugh. Love bites, especially when other people stick their noses in your business! We'll see how strong Lourdes and Lancelot are together! haha Oh, Tristan! God, I love him! There will be more Tristan in a bit. -wink- Enjoy this next one!
delusional anvil.: Well, at least Lancelot's trying to be good. So I'm glad you didn't laugh at him! -smiles- And yeah, I couldn't help but write Tristan and Akira together, because they are perfect for one another! Tristan's type is the deadly kind of girl. -wink- But yeah, they do remind me of Lourdes and Galahad at the beginning!
Well, this chapter is going to explain a little more about why Lucas did that. But yeah, I swear, Lourdes' life just seems to get more and more complicated. Let's hope things get better for her!
And it sounds like you and Gally are having an awesome time together! I hope he makes you feel better. -pats Galahad- Poor him though, he has to sleep on the floor? Aww! Geeze, after he smiles at you like that, you still won't let him sleep with you on your bed? Damn, girl, you've got self-control! lol
You're so lucky you have him with you. Bah. Now I am getting jealous! lmao! But here's another chapter! Don't worry, you will see Galahad soon! Enjoy!
Raging Raven: Oh yeah, that's just her life. Sucks for her, eh? Well, this chapter explains a little more about what happened. So enjoy!
DeathDealer210912: This story will only get better, I hope! This chapter explains your question! -smiles-
Scouter: I'll try my best to put more T & A (haha oops, no pun intended) in the story! Enjoy!
t t t
CHAPTER 42
"Dammit!"
Lancelot roughly and repeatedly kicked at the metal bars before him, causing much commotion in the dank, dark dungeons as he rattled the chains that were attached to the bars. He did not heed the warnings of the Shinodian guards, having no care whatsoever about what they threatened to do to him. As he cried out in frustration, he ran his hands over his face, then pulled at his locks. He paced within the cramped, enclosed space, with only a little window on one of the sides to allow a smidgen of moonlight to peek through. He could barely believe that he was in this predicament; not the fact that he was locked up, alone, in a cell, but the fact that Lourdes had been so abruptly, so heartlessly, taken away from him -- literally. For many hours, he simmered in his anger, wondering how Lourdes fared, wholly concerned about her well-being. Do the other knights know that I am even here?, he questioned himself inwardly, thinking of how he could possibly escape. He seethed with utter contempt for Lucas, unable to even fathom that or conceive why he would do such a thing -- not only to him, but to his own sister. Aye, they had acted indecent, but it was not as if they displayed their affections in front of a crowd of Shinodian subjects. They barely even displayed their affections in front of their own friends for that matter!
Punching the wall with his clenched fists, Lancelot cried out once more in frustration. As his voice echoed throughout the dungeon, he heard the main metal door swing open, followed by hasty footsteps and a familiar voice. His rage only heightened as he beheld Lucas standing in front of him, his countenance firm and unyielding. After a few moments of staring at each other with intense, and in Lancelot's case, inflamed, eyes, Lucas turned to a nearby guard.
"Open the cell." he regally commanded, chin inclined slightly. The nearby guard gave him a curt nod in acquiesce as he briskly did as he was told. Nodding to him in thanks, Lucas turned his hard gaze upon Lancelot, who eyed him with the same expression in his dark orbs. Lancelot held back the impulse to throw a punch at Lucas, finding sense and reason within himself at the very last moment, knowing that that action would only elicit a negative consequence. As the two stood, facing each other silently, Lucas finally called out to Lancelot. "Come with me."
Hesitating for only a moment, Lancelot did as he was told, jaw still tightened, hands still clenched beside him. Lucas waited until Lancelot was by his side, then, the two began to walk into step, making their way out of the confines of the dungeons and into the vast gardens behind the castle. Turning to Lancelot as they reached the middle of the gardens, Lucas began, "I know you despise me for what I have done." Lancelot's silence confirmed Lucas' suspicion, and he continued reasonably, "It was harsh of me to do what I did to you, and I rightly apologize for that. I was just too overcome with emotion that I thought hastily and decided rashly." Lancelot was taken aback by the depth and sincerity in the prince's voice, and the knight unsurely nodded in response. Lucas gave out a sigh, running his hand over his handsome, olive-coloured face as he admitted quietly, "I only desire to protect my sister."
"From me?" Lancelot responded incredulously with furrowed brows, scoffing at him lightly. "Your majesty, I love your sister as much as you do -- even more. If it is my preceding reputation that you are aware and afraid of, worry not, for I am no longer that man." Lancelot paused, feeling a lump forming in his throat as he choked out weakly, "And I have your sister to thank for that."
Lucas eyed Lancelot thoughtfully, as if assessing the sincerity of his statements. He was not aware of what exactly this knight's reputation was, but the sentiments expressed in his voice and in his actions exhibited his love for Lourdes. Deeming his previous statements to be satisfactory, Lucas remained silent, waiting patiently for Lancelot to regain his former composure. Lancelot said hoarsely, "I care about her well-being and her happiness, your majesty, so much so that I cannot possibly even describe it to you."
Lucas felt his chest tighten, and he closed his eyes briefly. "That is what I was afraid of, Sir Lancelot." With a dejected sigh, Lucas sat upon a marble bench, fists clasped in front of him, resting them on his chin. Lancelot eyed him with much puzzlement, not understanding his reason. After a few moments, Lucas' eyes landed upon Lancelot once more. "Do you know the laws of my land?"
Tilting his head to the side, the knight answered quietly with a shake of his head, "No, I am not familiar with much of your land."
At this response, Lucas placed his fingers upon his temples, exhaling audibly. Swallowing, he faintly proclaimed, "A member of the royal family of Shino is prohibited to ever have relations with anyone who does not share royal Shinodian blood."
Lancelot gave out an incredulous scoff, taking a shaky seat beside the prince, who kept his head hung low. The knight kept his aghast expression, managing to only croak out, "W-what?"
"Now you know why I desired to keep you and my sister apart." Lucas met Lancelot's gaze, the knight's countenance still frozen in bewilderment. "'Twas not only about your public display of affection." Almost embarrassed by this, Lancelot cleared his throat, eyes somewhat downcast as Lucas continued, "Sir Lancelot, this has been the Shinodian way for centuries. I only wish to save the both of you from much heartache."
Lancelot placed a steady hand on Lucas' shoulder. "With all due respect, your majesty," he began, then continued with much conviction and sincerity, "Your sister and I...we...we love each other. We cannot control it, nor will it away. We have been through so much over the past year, even recently, and we stand as a living testament that any two lovers in the most hopeless of circumstances and in the most dire circumstances can be and remain together." He paused briefly, sighing as he concluded, "You have to understand, milord, that no laws, no armies -- not even your gods themselves -- can keep me from her."
Deeply moved by Lancelot's confessional, Lucas exhaled then buried his face in his hands. Unexpectedly, he confided to Lancelot, "Not to long ago, Sir Lancelot, I was in the same predicament. I fell in love with a Sarmatian woman during my travels, seeing her as much as I could whilst leading my army to fight the rebel Shinodians. I knew I could not take her back with me, to marry her, to begin a family with her. She did not know the laws of my land -- not even my true identity as the prince of Shino. When I told her the truth, when I told her everything, she was devastated, leaving me, leaving her home." Lucas closed his eyes tightly at the painful memory, letting out a sob. "I have not seen her since. And now, my heart still aches because of it."
"I am truly and deeply sorry, your majesty." Lancelot said consolingly as he firmly gripped Lucas' shoulder. He pressed his lips into a thin line as he stated, "But can you not see that this will be your sister's state -- and my own? Sir, if you truly loved her, you would allow her the freedom to do as she pleases, what she desires. The only law that one should follow is that which what one's heart commands one to do."
Lucas could not help but be touched once more by Lancelot's wise words. He himself had not seen this, nor understood this, all those years ago. And now, he was living a life filled with regret, pain and even bitterness towards his own country. Meeting Lancelot's eyes once more, Lucas said shakily, "My father may be lenient when it comes to your relationship, Sir Lancelot," he frowned, sympathy lining his countenance as he concluded, "but 'tis the people of Shino that will not be."
t t t
King Lothair stared down intently upon his daughter, who, sobbing quietly with face in hands, sat in the seat before him. They were once again in the cozy meeting room, the site where they shared their first conversation, the site where his hopes and dreams had become reality. Lothair compared their situation then to what was transpiring now, and he could barely believe that this was happening. When she first arrived in Shino, Lourdes was so overcome with happiness -- and now, the laws of the very same land were bringing her nothing but despair. His heart constricted at her trembling sight, her exhibition of pain, his chest tightening even more as her predicament passed his memory once more. She is in love with Sir Lancelot, Lucas had shakily told him earlier, confirming his growing and almost certain suspicion. Lothair had seen how they gazed longingly and lovingly at one another, unable to mistake nor deny the feelings that resonated within them. He recognized those looks, those unconscious and subtle moments of affection that even lovers themselves may not notice or realize. Not so long ago, he had been a man in love, living each day as though it were his last with his beloved wife. So, he understood his daughter's feelings all too well, sympathizing with her with all his heart, hoping that he could explain to her why Lucas did what he did. Now, he was holding counsel with her, though she barely even responded to -- barely even heeded -- his speech.
"How could you let Lucas do this, father?" Lourdes' shaky voice shattered the silence between them. She suddenly sobbed out, overcome with much emotion, her anguished face making Lothair's heart swell with sorrow. She stated with conviction through clenched teeth. "Sir Lancelot is a good man."
His reputation says otherwise, Lothair's conscience retorted automatically, the tales of Lancelot's 'exploits' not foreign to him. He had meant it when he said that he had heard great tales about Arthur and his knights -- including about Lancelot's liaisons with women. Many of them. How could a man with such a nonchalant demeanor when it comes to lying with women be of good moral standing? Such a man could not be a suitable match for one such as his daughter -- a woman too valuable, too precious, one with much moral values in her being. Their union would certainly not be a desirable prospect, especially because she is of royal blood, and he is not.
"He is only doing what is best." Lothair replied tersely as he closed his eyes. Exhaling loudly, he took her hands in his as he sat beside her. "Lucas cares for you deeply, Lourdes, and he only did what he did because he desires to protect you, to shield you from anymore pain. He is only looking out for your well-being, daughter."
"By imprisoning the man I love?" she cried with much emotion, abruptly standing up and prying her hands away from her father's. She pointed angrily into the distance, body shaking, hand trembling. "Sir Lancelot has done nothing wrong! All he has ever done was love me!"
Lothair wanted to believe this -- truly, he did. He wanted to have faith in the words of his daughter, even in Lancelot himself, but he still could not erase from his mind the fact of Lancelot's past, his notorious reputation and his sexual disposition. Lourdes' continued contact with him would only tarnish her own reputation, and even lessen the adoration of the Shinodian peoples for her -- an aspect that she had worked desperately hard to attain ever since she had arrived. If their relationship was exposed to the masses, her polished reputation may as well not have existed.
"Lourdes, please allow me a moment to explain." Lothair gave out a disheartened sigh, pulling her down by the arm to sit once more beside him. "This is not only about your public exhibition of romance, nor about this knight's reputation with women." Lourdes swallowed at this, having absolutely no idea that her father even knew of Lancelot's past. Lothair took her hand, as if in advanced comfort. "The laws of Shino states that a member of the royal family is prohibited to have relations with anyone that does not have royal Shinodian blood coursing through their veins."
At this statement, Lourdes could only stare at her father, aghast, as she pulled her hand belligerently away from him. "Do you wish to make me utterly miserable?" She moaned, running her fingers through her long, raven hair. "Here I am, finally content for once in my life...and you tell me this?"
"Lourdes, you must not disregard the laws of..."
"I choose to whom I give my heart to!" Lourdes shouted with conviction as she trembled with emotion. She pointed a finger in the distance. "No God, no army, now laws shall keep me away from him!"
She could not believe that her own father would not overlook a bloody, enchaining law to grant her happiness. Could he not see how happy she had been for the past few days, how she was in utter bliss all because of one man? Why would he snatch that joy away from her so coldly? How could he even think of doing such a thing -- to his own daughter, no less?
Lothair tried his best to control his patience, though his voice betrayed him as he stood, booming, "You are royalty! You are bound by the laws and restrictions of this land!"
"I am bound to nothing but to my own heart!" she cried in utter anguish, pacing back, quivering from her father. She spat crossly, "I do not care about being royalty, for I have everything that I can ever need!" In torment, she fell to her knees, taking her father's hands in hers. "This is my life, father. My happiness. Can you not see that?" Through blurred vision, she looked upwards at her father, blinking away tears as she whispered, "I do not care if I break Shinodian laws. I do not care if Shinodians rebel against me. They know nothing about me, nothing about Lancelot, and certainly nothing about what the two of us had to endure!"
Lothair was rendered speechless by this. Arthur and his knights had known his daughter longer than he, Lucas, or any of their Shinodian subjects have. How could he judge the knight, their relationship? Lothair then felt his heart break at his daughter's situation. Though, expertly masking his countenance with a firm expression, he replied steadily with, "This has been the way for many ages, my daughter. No one has contested it."
"Then change the laws!" she exclaimed quickly, placing a hand on the side of his face. "Father, if you are truly a king that vies for progress, for advancement, that caters to sophistication, then let Shino be rid of this law!" She closed her eyes, face distorting as she breathed out, "Why am I to be enchained and restricted when it comes to whom I give my heart to?"
For once in many moons, Lothair was absolutely confused and torn. How could he rule a land of equality, of good morals, when, with a turn of the head, he would enact leniency towards his daughter and break ancient Shinodian laws? Gritting his teeth in order to quell the tears that were forming in his eyes, Lothair gripped the sides of Lourdes' arms, shaking her lightly as he stated, tight-lipped, "I do not want to see you with him again, do you understand me?"
Lourdes eyed her father with disbelief. She was so sure that he would understand, that she would be able to convince him of Lancelot's virtue and the strength of their relationship. Unable to take this any longer, Lourdes silently stood. Breaking roughly from his grip, she ran, sobbing, as she disappeared into the dark castle corridors.
t t t
Lourdes ran blindly through the dimly-lit corridors, a stream of tears free-falling from her face. Gripping the bottom of her dress as she made her way aimlessly through the castle, she did not heed the curious and worried stares that she was receiving, not giving a damn about where her feet were taking her. She needed to get away from this place, from these people, for she felt as though she was being suffocated, drowned, strangled, all at the same moment. She was desperate for peace, comfort, and happiness -- and her duties, expectations, and now, this new peril -- were making it difficult for her to find such solace. For so long, Lancelot had been her haven. Even when they were not together, he had always been there for her, his concern only masked by a stiff jaw and a roguish grin. Though, she could not forget the times when she was in danger, when she was an utter mess, that he had been there for her, doing what was in his power to console, protect and comfort her.
And now, they wanted to take him away from her.
Seeing the building that held the dungeons from a second-story balcony, a glimmer of hope was ignited within her. Why would the guards listen to Lucas and not to her? She had the power to wield her authority, to mend Lucas' unlawful execution of his power. If she was bound by Shinodian laws because she was a princess, then she damn well would not let her royal power go to waste! With firm resolve, she scurried down the marble steps, two at a time, worry about Lancelot's well-being washing over her. Racing through the courtyard at full speed, she unexpectedly ran into a figure. The two grunted at the impact, stumbling a few paces backwards. Though, before Lourdes could fall to the ground, he shot his hands out to her, tightly holding her arms to keep her steady.
"Lourdes?"
Head snapping up at the voice, Lourdes immediately wrapped her arms around Lancelot's neck, as if clinging onto him for dear life. She breathed out quickly, "Oh, Lancelot! I was so worried about you! I thought..."
"Shh, love, 'tis alright." He buried his face in her hair, then kissed her forehead reassuringly. "I am alright."
She now sobbed freely onto his chest, his hands rubbing her back in comfort. He, too, had to fight with all his might to quell the tears that were forming in his own eyes. Just a few hours ago, he thought that he would never be able to do this again, that he was to rot in a Kenjian cell for the rest of his days. He finally mustered up the ability to say succinctly, "Lucas told me about the laws of your land."
Lourdes pulled away from him briefly, her eyes squinted and lips pursed as she cried. She examined the knight, feeling his stiffness, seeing his tightened expression. Though his countenance was calm and collected, his eyes burned with fervent emotion, one filled with anger and question. He tore his eyes away from hers then, breathing in and out audibly as he lowered his hands to his side. Lourdes shook her head, taking his hands in hers. "I did not know about them, Lancelot." She looked at him longingly, and as if in hope, Lancelot met her eyes once more. "I do not care!" Lourdes stated steadily, claiming his lips in hers, kissing him repeatedly. "I do not care what threats they throw our way!" The knight was still tense, barely able to kiss her in return, as she wrapped her arms around his waist. Erasing the frown on her face, Lourdes looked upon his eyes alternately. "Run away with me, Lancelot." She whispered, with simultaneous hope and desperation illuminating in her orbs. "We shall be together in Sarmatia! I shall never return here."
A breath caught in Lancelot's throat. He did not know how to respond. Frankly, he was rendered speechless, for the solution that Lourdes had just stated was -- rash, mindless...inconceivable. A part of him cried out to the heavens that he would, that, in a heartbeat, he would take his steed, place Lourdes atop it, and ride with her to the west until they reached Sarmatia once more. And yet, a pang of guilt was building inside of him, his conscience also reminding him of everything that he and his comrades had to go through -- what Lourdes and the Woads had to go through -- in order to bring her here. How could he take her away from here when they had fought for so many months, sacrificed so many lives, to fulfill that mission? He would be single-handedly responsible for disrupting her new life in Shino, for angering her family and even her subjects. Needless to say, his heart was torn.
After many moments of silence and searching for an answer, he finally replied with, "Lourdes, we cannot do that. So many have died to bring you here." He cupped her face in his hands, bringing his face closer to hers. "Think of those that sacrificed so much to bring you here. Think of Aiden, the meaning of his death, and..."
"Stop!" Lourdes closed her eyes, wishing with all her might that she did not hear what Lancelot had just said. The knight swallowed, somewhat regretting his words, yet reminding himself that she needed to hear the truth, that she needed to have sense spoken into her. Lourdes pushed away from him abruptly, falling to the ground on her knees. She said weakly, "I did not ask for any of this."
"Neither did they." Lancelot pointed out lightly, walking in front of her. When she would not meet his eyes, he bent down to his knees, resting an arm on his thigh as he placed the other on her shoulder. He continued reasonably, "Lourdes you have a great responsibility in Shino. You are royalty, and..."
"Why are you defending them?" she shrieked, shrugging his arm away from her being as she stood. "Do you not love me enough that you will not leave with me?" She asked in a sullen voice, hanging her head low. "Lancelot, can you not see that I want to be with you? That I want to go to your homeland with you and spend the rest of our days together?"
"Listen to me." Lancelot replied hoarsely, lifting her chin delicately with his index finger. "I love you will everything in my being. You know this." He kissed her briefly, pulling her to him once more. "But I cannot bear the guilt of taking you away from your family, the family that you have only recently found. I cannot take you away from your home, from so many people who have grown acquainted with you and have accepted your return with open arms." He rested his cheek upon hers, hand caressing her upper arm. "I want to be with you, Lourdes, but I cannot take you away from all of this."
It was Lourdes' turn to cup Lancelot's face in her palms. "Lancelot, can you not see that I want you more than any of this?" she tore off her medallion, throwing it towards the ground defiantly. "I care not for what I am, for the type of blood that runs through my veins. I do not care about the celebrations, the servants, the power. I would choose the life of a pauper and a rogue over this any day, if it means being with you." she breathed out, placing her head upon his chest. "I love you, Lancelot. I care for my family, my people, but not if they do not let me choose what life to lead."
Taking her wrists, he choked out a response, "You must value your life, the blood that runs through your veins. You are a princess of Shino, and one day, maybe even queen. With a flick of your wrist, a wave of your hand, you can make such a difference in your countrymen's lives." He brought his forehead to hers, kissing her gently. "You cannot leave them in their time of distress and war for the love of me."
"I cannot believe what you are saying to me." she slowly pulled away from him, shaking her head in disbelief. Her voice progressively rose, "I cannot believe that you do not understand what I am feeling!"
"I do understand!" Lancelot cried out in frustration, drilling his finger upon his heart, "And I feel it!"
"So why are you giving up on us? On me?" Lourdes sobbed through squinted eyes, the severity of their predicament weighing heavily upon her heart. "After everything that we have gone through..."
He took her arms and shook her lightly. "I am not giving up!" He screamed, overcome with emotion. Finally unable to contain his feelings, he began to sob, finishing weakly, "I...I just do not know what to do."
Lourdes cried even harder, feeling just as helpless and forlorn with all hope as Lancelot. When they could find no more words to say, they moved closer to one another, searching for comfort in each other's embrace.