A/N: Wow, it's been a while since I've updated, huh? Well, Frosh Week for the university freshmen is over, so that means I'm done leading the little kiddies and I have more time to work on this! Believe it or not, the end is less than 10 chapters away! -tear- I can't believe it's almost over! But yes, all good things must come to an end, so I'm hoping to finish this story by mid-September. I finally thought of an ending that I'm satisfied with, so yeah! Here's another chapter! Hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Kalanie: I hear you have a sequel to "Spirit of a Warrior"? Geebus, I do have a lot of reading to do! This is what I get for being inactive for like, two weeks!
hahaha I would love to see a dunce hat on duncey Lancey. -sigh- I mean, I can't blame the guy for having jealous feelings, especially since he walked in on Lourdes and Galahad before. He needs a hug. (Wanna hug him?) And Galahad -- our young knight is just so conflicted, and I love it, because he brings everyone down with him! The more he tries to "fix" everything, the more complicated things get. I love it, though. Will our knights ever get it together and just make Lourdes happy for once? I guess we'll see! -wink- Enjoy this next one!
jenny DEAREST.: Poor, poor Lourdes. I don't even know where to start. It really helps that I am conflicted as well, because it definitely shows when I write the chapters! It's just so hard to tell what Lourdes really feels for both of them. It begs the question: Can you really be in love with two people at the same time?
I do feel bad for Lancelot, though. This is all new to him. The fact that Lourdes and Galahad had somewhat of a "history" is killing him too. Aww!
I would seriously LOVE for this to be a movie! Oh my gosh...even a mini-series or something, because I'm confident that a lot of people would enjoy it! I'm glad that Gally is content with his part. He has more to do, as you both shall see! Enjoy this next one! -hugs-
Withered Lover: Oh yeah, definitely more drama. Who can live without drama? Certainly not our beloved characters! It's been sooo long since I've written this story and have updated, but I'm finally BACK! Tristan the sly fox. That describes him PERFECTLY, my dear! So you trust Lancelot more than Galahad, hmm? GOOD! My plan is working, muahaha. That's exactly what I wanted to show -- the last guy you can trust to be in a relationship you actually do trust, and the "good guy" just making so many mistakes that it can become unforgivable and unforgettable. PERFECT! But yeah, people have been reading the ENTIRE story in one sitting, and I'm like, oh my god...how can you handle so much drama? lol
Oh, Boondock Saints. Now I'm DEFINITELY wanting to write a fanfic! Grr, if only I had more time! I looove the 'vent scene'. Those MacManus bros are the coolest (and hottest) ever! Enjoy this next chapter, my lovely!
Saxongirl345: Everyone seems to be getting their internet cut off! Ahh! Glad you're back, though. I'm interested to see what you think of this next chapter! -wink- Enjoy!
Morose Scarlet: Nice to hear from you! Thank you so much for your kind words! I honestly had the intention of making this one of the BEST KA fanfics out there, and I'm happy to read that you find it excellent! -smiles- How about we all petition to make this into a movie? I'd definitely support it! lol Happy reading, and enjoy this next one!
Thanks also goes out to: HateFilled-Demon, Highlanderfanatic, Jane-MC, Lady of Trebond, QueenieMeanie, Scouter, ZELINIA, angel in the winds, cleopatra32003, kdawn7, makedamnsure, tvfanatic64, Arabelle James, DeathDealer210912, Fallen Ashes, Gerdie, Kates, Raging Raven, i heart coffee, janell, jubes-zcg, mangoskin93, xOxO.rOmance...and to everyone else reading this! I love you all!
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CHAPTER 48
"You just can't help yourself, can you, Galahad?"
Galahad's head snapped up to the sound of Lancelot's mockingly amicable voice in the distance. Turning to the side, he spotted Lancelot standing beside a cluster of tents, his faint silhouette difficult to see even in the moonlight. Though, Galahad could perceive that his arms were crossed sternly in front of him, and, by his stiff stance, that he was clearly not amused with what had just transpired between he and Lourdes. Breathing in, Galahad turned to face Lancelot as he languidly walked towards him, his intense brown eyes never leaving his green orbs. Stopping a few metres in front of him, the two knights now stood face to face, bodies tense, countenances hard.
"We were only speaking." Galahad stated through gritted teeth, inclining his head slightly to meet Lancelot's burning eyes.
"Oh, was that it?" Lancelot replied in a mockingly conversational tone, pursing his lips for added effect. "I would think that what had just transpired between you and Lourdes would be a little more open for interpretation. You know, seeing as though you would have kissed her if she did not pull away from you."
Galahad swallowed, jaw tightening as Lancelot took another step forward. He began, "Lancelot, you know as well as I do that I cannot help what I feel for her. I have told you this before, and my feelings for her have not changed." The young knight paused for a moment, then choked out, "My love for her has only grown."
With gritted teeth, Lancelot suddenly gave Galahad a hard shove. He snapped, "And I am apparently not much of a problem to you, hmm? Tell me. You would trample over 16 years of friendship, forget about everything that we have gone through and endured, and openly disrespect me in such a manner?" Lancelot brought a menacing finger to Galahad's face as he finished tight-lipped, "For if you do, Galahad, then you are not the man I thought you were."
Galahad kept his stance, his face firm and unyielding. He made no move to retaliate to Lancelot's physical attack and only replied hoarsely, "She loves me in return, Lancelot. You know that; and it is killing you because you do."
With a cry of rage, Lancelot gripped Galahad's tunic, pulling the young knight towards him. Galahad winced at the shooting pain in his leg, but kept his chin inclined as Lancelot yelled, "You stay away from her!" Then, with a snarl, he shoved Galahad away with full force. He promptly boomed, "Do not burden her with anymore of your words!"
Galahad replied, "If it burdens her, Lancelot, then it does so because she knows it is the truth." Losing his last smidgen of self-control, Galahad tilted his head and shoved Lancelot in the same manner. He spat callously, "Take this experience and learn from it, Lancelot. Now you know how all the husbands of those maidens that you have bedded feel."
With rage-filled eyes, Lancelot replied calmly, "You always seem to throw my past in my face, Galahad. But does that really justify your actions?" He cocked his head to the side, clenching his jaw. "Does that really make what you are doing, or, what you plan to do, anymore righteous? Does that erase your stupid actions and decisions when it came to Isabella?"
Galahad squinted his eyes in disbelief and proclaimed, "I love her." He took a step forward, bringing his face closer to Lancelot's as he snarled, "I don't give a damn about anything else but her. I have travelled nearly the distance of all of Sarmatia, have searched for her here in Shino, to be with her again. I will not give up until she realizes how she truly feels and freely admits it -- to me, to you, to everyone else."
Lancelot's eyes utterly blazed at Galahad's determined speech. With the one last ounce of self-control leaving Lancelot, he raised his arm, poised to throw a punch. His fist trembled as he tried to regain his composure, his conscience repeatedly reminding himself that his brother-in-arms for 16 years was standing before him, not just any man. This was the brother-in-arms who, just a few hours prior, had saved his life.
Unflinching, Galahad defiantly moved his face closer to Lancelot's. He began tauntingly, "Go ahead, Lancelot! Hit me if it makes you feel any better!" His eyes squinted as he cried, "But you beating me to a bloody pulp will not erase the truth: that she loves us both!"
Crying out in sheer frustration, Lancelot turned his back impetuously on Galahad, fists clenching at his side. Doubt now plagued him. Were his instincts correct all along? Did Lourdes really love Galahad and he? Why would his brother-in-arms intentionally hurt him, when he could see that Lourdes was his love, his life? He only fights for her as you do, Lancelot reasoned with himself, running a hand over his face and through his hair. And he only loves her as you do.
Lancelot twisted his head back towards Galahad as he felt the young knight's hand on his shoulder. Galahad's countenance was lined with an expression mixed with remorse, sympathy and apology. After a few moments of silence, Lancelot said quietly, "Galahad, how have we come to this?"
"I do not know, Lancelot." Galahad answered truthfully as he lowered his head, eyes transfixed to the ground. "If you really love her, and if you do not think of her as just another conquest..."
"I love her with my entire being."
Galahad closed his eyes at this statement, walking a few paces back from Lancelot. Turbulent emotions overtook him, his mind swirling with a thousand thoughts. Running his hands through his face, he turned his head slightly in order to catch a glimpse of his comrade. He began sincerely, "I am sorry for nearly betraying you, Lancelot, but I cannot control what I feel for her, no matter how much I try. I did not want to intentionally disrespect nor hurt you -- and I never would, brother -- but this is the way that I have been feeling for many months, and I cannot will it away." Turning back to walk towards Lancelot, Galahad's voice began to falter as he choked out, "She is with you. I know this, but my heart cannot accept it. I know that you can understand this, Lancelot, because if you were in my position, you would act in the exact same manner as I am."
Lancelot was even surprised himself that he actually understood Galahad's position and that he empathized with the young knight. He did believe that Galahad did not intend on causing such ill emotion between all of them, and he could forgive that. Breathing out a heavy sigh, Lancelot placed a hand on Galahad's shoulder. As their eyes met, Lancelot stated, "There is only one way to solve this."
Galahad stared at him in puzzlement, though nodded for him to continue.
"We must let her choose."
t t t
Lourdes continuously ran away from the encampment, uncontrollably sobbing as she did so. She did not know where she was headed -- all she knew was that she could no longer keep company with the men. With laboured gasps, she finally halted at the centre of a wide meadow, the encampment now about 200 yards behind her. The dim moonlight was her only light, though ironically, she found such comfort in the dark, for she felt as though nobody could ever find her, that nobody could see her in such a state. She could no longer deny it to herself.
She loved both Lancelot and Galahad, and it was slowly killing her.
Lourdes knew that she could not keep this up any longer. She had to confess her feelings for both of them to both of them. It was unfair for her to be with Lancelot when her heart was not entirely devoted to him. She knew that there would always be something for Galahad in her heart, and she felt even worse because of it. Though, she reasoned, she could not be with Galahad as well, for she also loved Lancelot. She could not deny that her relationship with Lancelot is real, and that she was with him because she did love him.
By the Roman God, she was so confused. If there was only a way for her to be able to sift through her turbulent feelings, make sense of them, and make a decision.
A strange whistling in the distance made her ears perk up, simultaneously interrupting her thoughts. Furrowing her brows, she squinted her eyes as she looked out into the fields, seeing many little balls of light. Suddenly, the whistling stopped, and a single arrow buried itself onto the ground before her, dangerously close to her feet. Startled by this, she gasped, falling onto the ground clumsily as she paced back a few steps. Looking up once more, she could now recognize that in the distance, there were hundreds of torches, burning bright and...
...heading straight towards her.
As she heard the sound of a distant horn, she scrambled to her feet, bolting back towards the encampment with haste. Gasping for breath, she turned around periodically to look upon the coming attackers, recognizing them to be the rebel Shinodian army on horseback. They were coming upon her quickly, and she cried out in panic as she continued to race towards the encampment, hair carried by the wind, feet seemingly gliding upon the blades of grass. "Rebel Shinodians are coming!" she cried out at the top of her lungs, breathing heavily as she inclined her head to enunciate her voice. "Men, prepare for combat!"
Her cries had set off an immediate alarm throughout the Sarmatian encampment. The dozens of Sarmatian soldiers bolted out of their tents, sounding their battle cries as they placed on their armour and procured and readied their numerous weapons. The men scrambled throughout the encampment, waking the rest of their comrades and preparing their horses.
Wincing as she felt her body aching from her previous injuries, Lourdes willed herself to continue running, continuously yelling at the top of her lungs for men to ready their weapons and to stand in formation. Spotting Lancelot and Galahad together in the distance, she furrowed her brows in confusion, through continued to run to their sides. What had previously transpired between each of them had all but dissipated in her mind. Now, all she could think about was preparing for battle and defending against the rebel Shinodians.
"Lancelot! Galahad!" she called out to them breathlessly, doubling over instantly as she reached their sides. "You must warn Arthur and the others of an impending Shinodian attack!" Both men eyed her worriedly, but she merely gritted her teeth when they made no motion to move, using her left hand to push Galahad and her right to push Lancelot away. She utterly screamed, "Go!"
Without another moment of hesitation, the two knights nodded in acquiesce to her command, running off in opposite directions through the ensuing chaos. With another look back at the incoming Shinodian horsemen, Lourdes swiftly ran back to Lancelot's tent in order to retrieve her armour and weapons. As she zigzagged her way throughout the numerous encampments and Sarmatian warriors who prepared for battle, she hastily ducked into Lancelot's tent, grabbing her sword, bow and a quiver of arrows. Upon her exit, though, she was immediately pulled back by her tunic, making her pace backwards a few steps in order to keep her balance.
"You do not fight, princess." Akira stated steadily as she lowered her arm. The Shinodian commander's expression was cold and firm as she looked in the direction of the coming rebel Shinodians. With a snarl, she said, "There are too many of them. You must run and hide now."
Lourdes stood with all defiance lining her features. "I am not running and hiding when all of you are risking your lives." She replied in the same manner, strapping the quiver of arrows on her back and sheathing her sword on a scabbard attached to her waist. "You could use another warrior."
As if to keep calm and collected, Akira momentarily closed her eyes and sighed. "Lourdes, if you are hurt in this battle, I will have to live with that guilt." Akira's jaw tightened as she placed a firm hand on Lourdes' shoulder. She admitted freely, "I have let my heart control my mind, and I did not make a rational decision when I travelled here with you." She squinted her eyes as she hissed. "But that was my decision, and I do not regret it. But now, Lourdes, I will not be responsible for placing you in danger."
Lourdes took Akira's hands in hers, squeezing lightly. "I should protect my own people and those who fight to protect them, Akira -- not the other way around." Lourdes gave her a small smile. "What kind of a princess would I be if I did not?"
Before Akira could begin to protest once more, Lourdes turned her heel and ran into the battlefield.
t t t
Sixty Sarmatian and Shinodian steeds stood together in three ranks, steady and prepared for the oncoming attack. Upon those steeds were warriors of every size and stature, eyes fixated on one thing -- rebel Shinodians. The torches were now coming closer, but Lourdes, Akira and the Sarmatian knights remained on horseback, unflinching, as they steadily gazed with squinted eyes at their enemies. The strong spring wind danced through them from behind, as if encouraging them on forward, subtly supporting their cause. The warriors eyed each other silently with firm resolve plastered on their faces, jaws tightened as they gripped the reigns of their horses in one hand and their weapons in the other. Lancelot and Galahad periodically gazed upon Lourdes in both concern and admiration. The princess sat erect and regal upon her mare, armour covering most of her body and helmet firmly sitting upon her head as she gazed out into the distance.
She would not run from this.
A single horseman on a black steed rode forward to the front of the rebel Shinodian army, his masked face now becoming visible to the defenders. Lourdes gulped, trying her best to suppress and control the fear that was now forming and running rampant within her, as the masked Shinodian commander raised his sword high in the air. In a steady movement, he lowered his sword, the tip of the blade pointing straight towards them. In a booming, roaring voice, he commanded,
"Tuez-les! (Kill them!)"
The resounding cry of the rebel Shinodians were mixed with the sound of the thundering hooves of their horses as they now rode in full gallop, a complete attack their only purpose. Lourdes, Akira and the Sarmatian knights gave out their battle cries in return, some of their steeds standing on their hind legs before rushing forward. As the earth shook, the two sides rode and rode towards one another, screaming with the utmost intensity with their weapons drawn and outstretched before them.
The collision was deafening and deadly. Clanks of metal on metal, cries of injured and dying horses and men, thuds of bodies falling onto the ground. Almost immediately, Lourdes was knocked off her mare, the length of a spear connecting with her upper left arm. Rolling on the ground in utter pain, tears began to cascade from her eyes as her left arm became numb, her right shakily holding onto her sword. Blinking, she surveyed her surroundings through blurred vision, the mud and splatters of blood already covering her entire being. Men were falling all around her, at every side, even crushing her with their fallen bodies as she crawled and tried to stand on her feet.
From the corner of her eye, she spotted Akira, Arthur and the knights all on their steeds, slashing their way through the pandemonium, killing rebel Shinodians left and right. Momentarily thankful that they were all alright for the time being, she twisted her head behind her just in time to dodge a falling axe. With quick reflexes, she stabbed the rebel Shinodian in the stomach, staggering backwards as she felt her nerves taking over her body. Gathering her wits and courage, Lourdes continued to eye her surroundings, the clusters of combatants surrounding her.
It was then that she spotted the masked rebel Shinodian commander a few meters from her being. With a giant whip, he brought down many Sarmatian knights, with a single crack of the weapon dealing painful blows and gashes. He would even wrap the whip around their necks, pull the knights towards him, and proceed to stab them with his sword that he held ready in his other hand. Gritting her teeth at this, and the many Sarmatian knights that had fallen because of him, she fought her way to his side, evading many blows and bodies. Lourdes did not know how she would fight this man, but she knew that she could not witness any more of her allies fall.
As she walked into his line of vision, her sword was almost immediately taken from her grip and flung aside by the whip that he wielded. Gasping at this, she took a few paces back, stumbling on fallen bodies of both men and horse. His attention was fixated on her now, his whip slightly lowering as he gazed upon her. Even through her fear and through the disorder around them, Lourdes could not miss the Shinodian man's burning eyes as he looked upon her, his body tensing as he did so. Using this momentary pause, she bent down to procure a bloodied sword from a fallen knight, but was immediately halted as the whip came down hard upon the side of her helmet, knocking her to the ground. Crying out at the impact, she pushed herself up from the ground with her right arm, shaking as she looked back at the Shinodian commander, who was now coming steadily upon her. As he raised his whip to hit her once more, the sound of a rushing steed and a fierce battle cry came from behind her, gaining both of their attentions.
The Shinodian commander readily blocked Lancelot's blow with his sword, but had to step a few paces back to recover from the sudden impact. Swinging once more, Lancelot cried out as he swung his other blade, the knight now balancing on his frightened steed. In a lightning movement, the Shinodian commander swung his whip; but, instead of connecting with Lancelot, it connected with the side of his horse. Sending the knight bolting out of the battlefield, Lourdes gasped as Lancelot lost his balance, dropping his twin swords. Though, the knight did not hit the ground, for he was held onto the steed by the reigns, which were now caught on his foot. Lourdes staggered upwards with widened eyes as she watched the running steed, dragging Lancelot on the blood and body-covered ground, as it sped off into the distance.
As she turned back towards the masked Shinodian commander, she beheld an arrow pierce through the scene before her and connect with his upper shoulder. He gave out a grunt, instantly breaking the arrow and looking towards the direction from whence it came. Lourdes followed his gaze and saw Akira in the distance, sitting atop her steed as she locked another arrow in her bow.
"Run!" Akira screamed at the top of her lungs, aiming once more at the Shinodian commander.
Lourdes did not want to leave her comrades to fight, but her concern for Lancelot was too much to ignore. Clumsily mounting a nearby steed, she raced as quickly as she could from the battlefield, evading attacks and kicking oncoming warriors. She raced in the direction where Lancelot's steed had gone, riding as quickly as the horse was able. Spotting Lancelot's spooked steed in the distance through fighting warriors, Lourdes saw that he was still attempting to pull himself up, his arm flailing in the air as he tried to trip the reign, his head dangerously hitting the ground. Blinking the tears from her eyes, she gritted her teeth, chasing after him at full speed. Warriors continued to surround her, but she barely heeded them and continued riding forward, heart constricting at Lancelot's current state.
Though, what she saw made her heart immediately stop.
The out of control steed had lost all its sense, and, still running at full speed, it fell down a cliff, taking Lancelot with it.
"Lancelot!" Lourdes screamed at the top of her lungs, freely crying now as she continued to ride as fast as the steed was able. "No!"
As she skidded the horse to a stop a few metres from the cliff, Lourdes immediately dismounted and ran, as fast as her feet could carry her, towards the edge. "Lancelot!" She screamed in utter anguish, falling to her knees as she peered down the clifftop. A dark abyss was the only thing that she could perceive, and it was difficult to determine the exact height of the cliff. Hearing only the rushing river below her, she neither heard nor saw any sign of Lancelot or his steed. "Lancelot!" She screamed once more, desperately hoping for a response. Her entire body uncontrollably trembled as she instantly searched for a way to climb down the rocky edge. Tears rushed from her eyes and cascaded down her cheeks in rivulets as she took off her helmet and armour. She did not heed the pain that her protesting arm was screaming. Bloodied, bruised and shaking, she slowly lowered her legs to the jagged rocks, hoping to find steady support. Sobbing wildly, she gripped the side of the cliff, fingernails digging into the earth, fingers beginning to bleed as they painfully supported her hanging body. As she lowered her right leg onto another protruding rock, she slipped and lost her balance, desperately clutching the jagged rocks as she descended.
She did not get far, though, when a hand reached out for her own, keeping her from falling into the dark abyss. She cried out -- not because she was afraid of falling, but because the hand had stopped her from finding Lancelot. Looking up with blurred vision, she recognized Galahad's silhouette, peering down at her. In the moonlight, she could perceive that his emerald eyes were aflame with emotion, tears lining the sides of his face as he continued to hold onto her.
"Do not let go, Lourdes!" The young knight screamed throughout the noise and chaos of the battle behind him. His voice trembled as he continued, "Do not!"
Openly sobbing now, Lourdes used her dangling feet to step on the protruding rocks once more, pushing herself up with what was left of her strength. Galahad pulled her arms with all of his might, and, after a few moments, they laid beside one another, catching their breaths. Lourdes buried her face in her hand, curling into a ball as Galahad rolled to her side.
"What were you doing?" Galahad choked out through his shock, brushing her hair away from her face as tears freely fell from his eyes. "Lourdes, you could have..."
"Lancelot...f-fell." She stuttered between her sobs, weakly crawling to the edge of the cliff. Galahad immediately held her back, arm around her waist as he looked down the cliff with wide eyes.
With all self-control leaving the young knight, he yelled shakily, "Gawain! Arthur! Tristan!" He looked desperately through the darkness and confusion around him, trembling as he finished, "Anyone!"
With no one to answer his calls, all he could do was look down into the dark abyss and hold the trembling Lourdes tightly in his arms.
t t t
I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.
Is it over yet, in my head?
I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind.
Is it over yet? I can't win.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.
You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
This will be all over soon.
Pour salt into the open wound.
Is it over yet? Let me in.
So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.
I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.
I'm going all the way, get away, please.
I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hiding.
- "Breath" by Breaking Benjamin
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A/N: Ahhh, Lancelot! Our poor knight...