The Arrancar Encyclopedia on episode 155 made my day.
I. Love. Gin.
That is all.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach... but I wish I did.
My words to Ulquiorra that day in the control room were actually true, though I doubt he believed me.
I really do hate sad stories.
It's ironic that my own story is a sad one.
And it's even sadder that the story is not mine alone—it's yours as well.
The stage opens with a pale, silver-haired orphan boy. He steals his food to survive, lives alone in a small, run down hut. He's always smiling.
"Something isn't quite right with him," the villagers murmur as he goes by, loud enough for him to hear, and he has to agree with them. He knows that his smile is false, cold, with an air of maliciousness to it. He goes through he days, wandering wherever he pleases, come "home" whenever the mood strikes him.
Then his world changes, it's axis tilted at a sloppy angle.
He finds a blonde girl who is nearly passed out in the middle of a dirt road.
In a rare act of compassion, the silver-haired boy offers her some of his food. Even he doesn't know why he does it—he still doesn't. She's hesitant at first, but then her hunger wins her over, she knows she needs the meager bit of substance to survive to see another day.
"My name's Gin," he tells her, smiling down at her. Unlike his usual grins, this one is sincere. It feels strange on his face.
"Gin…? That's a weird name…"
The boy just continues to smile at her.
She comes to live with him, two orphans against the dark and dirty world of Rukongai. Slowly, she brings light into the little shack, and into the boy's life as well.
You know the story, don't you, Rangiku?
The children grow up together, bicker and fight with each other, more often than not the boy just smiling as she yells at him.They discover physical intimacy and passion together, an eventually become shinigami together. The boy leaves often, but he always comes back to her—she is the reason he makes sure to come back.
And she always waits for him.
She remains cheerful and bubbly, and soon enough, the girl learns to see through his smile, something no one has ever done or even tried to before. She cares for him, and it's nothing like the boy has ever know.
They both graduate from the Institute, both receiving third seats in separate divisions. The boy becomes a lieutenant soon after, and the girl follows a few years later. Work pulls them away from each other, but they still find time for one another, more often than not between the sheets on his futon.
I still cherish those memories, nights we'd spend sneaking around my small apartment. I lived alone, so we never had to worry about anyone catching us. I remember times I'd come back from the office, tired and annoyed, and find candles lit in my bedroom and you sprawled out on my futon, waiting for me with a sultry smile I like to think you saved only for me.
The boy changes as the years pass, so does the girl.
He grows more cynical, more power hungry, and stronger, drawn to his deceptive captain who shows him his grand vision, his plan for the future. The boy joins him, growing more and more in the direction his captain so desires every day.
The girl grows stronger too, and jaded by the changes taking place in her childhood friend. She learns to cover it up with drinking and partying with new friends.
Friends who do not approve of, nor trust, the silver-haired boy at all.
He becomes a captain while she remains a lieutenant. He stays close to his former captain, remaining loyal to a fault. The girl and boy grow farther and farther apart, and the he suddenly finds that his futon cold and inexplicably lonely every night of the year.
My bed is still lonely, Rangiku… I think yours probably is, too. I know you had your reputation, one that I know you encouraged, but I never believed the half of it. All of Seireitei may have known what you looked like on the outside, but I felt that I still knew you better than anyone on the inside. Almost as well as you knew me.
The girl continues to throw herself into her raucous lifestyle, drinking much and often, though the boy knows she is never as gone as she seems. He watches from afar as she develops a façade of her own.
It saddens him. But he says nothing, remaining in the shadows as the plans his former captain made begin to fall into place.
They move as if they never knew one another, outwardly ignoring each other as they pass on the streets, though they both feel that inexplicable longing for intimacy lost. He wants to reach out to her, to pull her back into his arms, but he doesn't know what to say.
And he worries she wouldn't let him.
I'm positive you wouldn't have. I would have had Haineko around me in a heartbeat, swirling silver ash and the dangerous, throaty growl I used to hear whenever you got angry.
The boy's captain's plans are enacted and both the girl and the boy are swept up in a whirlwind of events, and for the first time in her life, the girl finds herself in the way of his sword.
Not on purpose—never on purpose.
I think you could see the fear on my face as I'd realized what was going on. I couldn't withdraw Shinsou, who'd wanted blood so badly. The struggle within me, between my zanpakto and I, was the hardest battle I'd ever fought. He'd seemed positively delighted at the idea of running you through.
That unnerved me.
You threatened to be my opponent, the one thing I'm sure you knew I wouldn't— I couldn't—do…of course, it stopped me.
His sword slid slowly back to him, and the boy and girl meet eyes for the first time in years. There is still something there, between them, something that hasn't been voiced or shown in years—
Something that will probably always be there, between us.
—but there is also something new: betrayal.
I will never be able to forget the look in your eyes that I saw that night, standing on top of the 3rd division dojo, your little captain on one side of me, you standing in front of Hinarmori. Haineko had cracked under Shinsou, but you still had your hellcat drawn and waiting. I stood there and stared at you with the slash I'd torn through my own haori flapping about in the wind.
I knew, then, that I'd lost you.
Grim determination shines in her eyes, a fierce light, but it is lined with a sadness, tears that she refuses to let fall.
You stopped showing your emotions as the years passed, a trait I wonder if you picked up from me. I could see it in your eyes though, the pain I'd caused you, and I could tell you wanted to do nothing more than yell and cry.
But you didn't let yourself.
The boy stares at her, unsure, then finally turns and leaves, just like he'd been doing for years.
It was then, I think, that you knew I was leaving again.
More fights are fought, most of them won by the boy and his captain. But then they are cornered, thwarted bytheir former comrades.
They are cornered.
I can still feel your grip on my wrist when we stood on the Soukyoku hill. It was warm, and firm. Haineko, no longer cracked, was up against my neck.
I could practically feel her purring with satisfaction. Your hellcat was never too fond of me.
I held my breath, and when you applied slight pressure with your sword, dropped Shinsou to the ground. Part of me was worried—was I going to have to fight you? Was Aizen going to destroy you when our ace in the hole finally came?
But the other part of me…that part was quietly elated. I think it was only because you were so near to me, closer than you'd been in almost a century. Your skin was more calloused, but you still felt the same. I almost wished you'd just killed me then.
I would have died happy, if albeit slightly incomplete.
He makes no effort to escape, telling his captain lightly that he's been caught. His captain forgives him.
Then the light comes down.
Huge, golden beams erupt from the sky, capturing the boy, his captain, and their blind comrade. Her grip falters and she jumps away as he is engulfed in light.
You knew then, more than you did the night I'd almost run you through with Shinsou that I was leaving. And I think it was then, too, engulfed in negacion, that you figured out I wouldn't be coming back this time.
Not alive, at least.
I turned back as you let go of my arm, and for the first time in my long life, I smiled sadly.
"I wouldn't'a minded bein' bound a lil' while longer…See you, Rangiku…Sorry."
That was the first—and only—time I'd ever said good-bye to you.
It was also the first time I'd ever apologized—for anything—in my life.
She knows for certain he is never coming back.
I remember looking down at you as I rose, slowly into the sky, and I realized how much I'd missed you—and then how much I was going to miss you, for the rest of my life, however long it was.
Hueco Mundo is the same as it was when we first arrived here, I think the only things that have changed are the Espada, but since those change almost daily they don't really count, and my longing for you. It just grows stronger. Even just a glimpse of your face or mention of your names at our daily meetings can make my heart start to beat faster…
If this isn't a 'sad story', I don't know what it is.
I suspect eventually it will be a tragedy.
This isn't my favorite one, but meh...I wanted to try something a little different than usual.
Please review!
-Luin