So here is another part of 'Reminiscence'. MatsuMama said she wanted some reason for why Gin is nice or why he is staying in Hueco Mundo if he feels all these things I say he's feeling...so I tried.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach... but I wish I did.

It would be a complete lie to tell you I don't crave power, that I don't relish the feel of it beneath my fingertips.

It would be blasphemy for me to say I don't like to be the one to twist the knife or the one to deliver the unseen, unexpected turn in someone's fate.

I wonder if it's ever occurred to you, Rangiku, that that is what I am sitting here in Hueco Mundo for—what I'm waiting to do: to turn Aizen's world upside down.

I don't expect you to believe me, because really, why should you?

I won't lie and tell you that I don't have respect for the man, that I'm not in awe of his carefully crafted plans and goals, but I also won't tell you that I like him.

Considering the only person I've ever liked in my lifetime has been you, Rangiku, that, at least, shouldn't surprise you.

I suppose I liked Aizen at one point, when I first became his fukutaicho, but he crossed a line with me a few years after that: he thought he had complete and utter control over me.

It didn't take me long to figure out that Aizen was making me a permanent fixture in his plans; he was forever asking me my opinion on who he could use, ordering me to perform menial tasks related to his grand scheme that he didn't think himself worthy of doing.

I can't say I understand why he thought he had full reign over me, maybe it was the fact I was his fukutaicho, or that he seemed to know the depth of my hunger for power. Not even you could control me, though I know you tried, so only God knows why Aizen thought he could. He assumed he had me... and we all know what happens when you assume things.

So I am lying in wait, if you will. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to let Aizen Sosuke know that no, he doesn't have me, and it was his greatest mistake in thinking so.

There is, actually, one other reason I'm sitting here, one that is probably the most important to me:

To protect you.

I know if I'm here, I can make sure no harm will be aimed directly at you. I know I can't keep you out of the cross-fire—I never could, and you'd never let me—but I'll be able to make sure you're not a target. Aizen isn't the only one who is sly and capable of using others to achieve his own means.

Take Luppi, for example.

I was less than thrilled with him and his actions towards you that day in Karakura Town. Who do you think placed the idea that the girl Orihime should heal Grimmjow's arm as demonstration of her powers? Who do you think planted the notion in Grimmjow's mind that she should heal his scarred Espada tattoo?

I knew he'd kill Luppi.

I was counting on it.

It's possible Aizen knew what I was doing when I'd claimed I didn't believe in the girl's powers and suggested to do something drastic, like bring back Grimmjow's non-existent arm, but he didn't seem to care.

The more I think about it, I think I want you to come here. You'll be angry, I know. But when they finally figure out that I'm here the throw the wrench in their beloved Aizen-sama's plans and that I've been protecting you from this castle the whole time... they'll kill me.

If I'm going to die—which I know I will, by the time this war is over—I'd like you to be the one holding the sword, Rangiku.

Morbid though it may be, it's the only way I'd go willingly and peacefully. Saying you deserve to kill me sounds strange as well, but you're the only one who's ever had any hold on my life, and with the pain I've caused you…it only seems right that you're the one to take it away.

I wonder if you could, though… you may be mad at me, but murderously so?

I've been leaving you behind for centuries, and while this case is slightly different than all those times back in our little shack, I don't know if you'd take it that way.

I think, instead of being murderous, you might just be sad. Disappointed. Frustrated. Angry, certainly, but enough to kill me?

I don't think so.

But then again, you've been surprising me since the day I met you.

I guess I'll never really know until you show up here, you're ash-cat swirling around you like silvery sand.

I know the look that will be on your face, the words that your beautiful, blue eyes will be speaking to me:

'Why, Gin?'

I only hope you'll listen…

Plllleeaaassse give me feed back on this one... I am desperate for opinions :/ I have a couple different ideas of theories of how Gin could still be 'good', and I'm hoping to try and shed light on some of them. I don't know how well that was done here, though...

Now...REVIEW!

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And for a more in-depth update, check my profile page :3

-Luin