Note: There is no episode four! I started writing it ages ago, but I never managed to think of an ending.

RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES

Episode five: Daichi

"WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER THRILLING EPISODE OF RENREN AND SHU-CHAN'S FRIENDLY EDUCATIONAL ADVENTURES!!!" Renren and Shu-chan bellowed at the camera. They then cleared their throats and adjusted their collars. They were once again sitting in the couch in their clubhouse, by the way.

"Today we're going to do something VERY special!" said Shu-chan enthusiastically. "Renren?"

"That's right, Shu-chan!" said Renren. He dove behind the couch and rummaged around for a little while, before emerging with a phone. It was made to look like a pretty rainbow standing around on a cloud, the receiver being the rainbow. "Presenting the… Renren and Shu-chan… PHONE!"

"You know what this means, don't you, kids!" said Shu-chan. "From now on, not only can you send us letters, but you can CALL us as well! To do so, simply grab your phone and dial THIS number!"

A phone number started flashing on the screen. About five seconds later, the phone started bouncing all crazy-like while emitting the Renren and Shu-chan theme song.

"Our first caller!" Renren exclaimed excitedly.

"I'll get it!" said Shu-chan nobly, knowing about Renren's tendency to stutter around like a Stuttering Bill. He picked up the receiver. "Yes, you've reached Renren and Shu-chan!"

"KANO!!!" sounded the desperate voice of Hatake. "I just wanted to let you know that I… I…"

"Dang it Hatake, what did I tell you about calling unless you have something to contribute to our show?!" Shu-chan yelled angrily into the receiver. He paused for a second. "I mean… this phone line is reserved for children with problems that need to be solved, not for regular chit-chat, got it?" Without waiting for an answer, Shu-chan slammed the phone back down. A second later, it started ringing again.

Seeing how worked up Shu-chan looked, Renren hesitantly picked the phone back up. "Um… Renren and… Shu-chan speaking! How may we—"

"MY HEART IS DIRTY!!!!!!!!!!!!" the person on the other end screamed so loudly that the whole clubhouse shook and some framed pictures on the walls fell to the floor and shattered.

"Uh, what exactly do you—" Renren tried, but the person interrupted him again.

"I'M A LOWLY DESPICABLE SELFISH HUMAN BEING WHO CAN'T EVEN LET THE PEOPLE HE'S TALKING TO ON THE PHONE TALK WITHOUT INTERRUPTING THEM!!!" the person cried. "I DON'T WANT MY HEART TO BE DIRTY ANYMORE!! HELP ME, RENREN AND SHU-CHAN!!!"

Shu-chan leaned over to Renren to speak into the phone. "Look, if you can just tell us your name and the team you play for, we can pay you a visit right away."

"Really?" sniffed the person. Sounds of a nose being blown were heard. "My name is Daichi Sakura and I'm from Sakitama."

Renren whipped out the baseball player phonebook and started searching through it for Daichi's address. "Found it!"

"Stay with us, Daichi, we'll be right there," said Shu-chan dramatically.

"Y… Yes," said Daichi.

Shu-chan hung up and clenched his fists. "Wow, this must be some kind of emergency! This sounds like a job for…"

"RENREN AND SHU-CHAN!!" Renren and Shu-chan yelled in unison as they struck a heroic pose. The screen faded out, and when it faded in again, they were just about to arrive at Daichi's place. Which was shaped like a giant heart.

Having seen them arrive, Daichi quickly barged out of his humble home to greet them. Even as an SD character, he was freakishly tall. "THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING!!" he bellowed in their faces. Since Daichi is so freakishly strong, Renren and Shu-chan had to grab on to some nearby trees in order to not be blown away by his voice alone. "I'M NOT WORTHY!!!"

"Everyone is… worthy!" Renren carefully walked over and patted Daichi's back.

"We're here for you, Daichi," said Shu-chan, joining in on the patting. "Now what did you say your problem was?"

"It's my heart," said Daichi dramatically, holding his hand over his heart. "It's dirty. I wish to cleanse it."

Renren and Shu-chan winced and looked at each other.

"Do you mean metaphorically or… literally?" Shu-chan tried.

"Um, I didn't really stop to think about that," said Daichi. He shrugged. "Both, I guess."

"Either way, I'm sure we can fix it!" said Shu-chan. "Renren?"

"Got it!" said Renren. He went off screen for a few seconds, then returned with a big honkin' first aid kit. "Kids, don't… try this at… home!"

"That's right," Shu-chan agreed seriously as he and Renren started putting on surgical masks and gloves. "This is only for professionals!"

Renren walked up to the camera and pulled a curtain in front of it. Everyone's silhouettes could still be seen through it.

"Now, if you could lie down on this bench…" The silhouette of Shu-chan gestured towards the silhouette of a bench.

"YES!" The silhouette of Daichi lay down on the bench with such force that it broke.

"Um…" said Renren and Shu-chan.

"AAAHHHHHH!!!" Daichi screamed. "I'M SO SORRY!! WHY CAN'T I BE MORE CAREFUL?! I'M JUST A BIG STUPID—"

"IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY!!" Shu-chan tried to yell over Daichi's voice. He kicked the broken bench off screen and pulled out a new one.

Daichi sniffed. "Really?"

"Uh huh!" said Renren. "After all, it was an… accident!"

"Sure, now please lie down on THIS bench instead!" said Shu-chan.

"I'll try…" said Daichi as he placed himself on top of the bench ever so carefully.

"Renren, can you hand me the tools, please?" Shu-chan asked.

"I'd love to, Shu-chan!" The silhouette of Renren rummaged through the silhouette of a first-aid kit, pulling out the silhouette of a giant saw and a mallet and a needle and some thread. He handed everything to Shu-chan.

"Thank you!" Shu-chan then turned to Daichi. "I'm going to have to anesthetize you first, is that okay?"

"I'M READY FOR IT, SHU-CHAN!" Daichi bellowed.

"Good!" said Shu-chan as he grabbed the gigantic mallet and bonked Daichi on the head with it so that the entire screen shook.

"Now we have to… locate his heart!" Renren piped up.

"It should be riiight… here," Shu-chan said, his silhouette being shown poking Daichi with the saw. It was THEN shown cutting into Daichi as the sound effects of wood being sawed into were heard in the background. Eventually, Shu-chan stopped and stuck his hand into Daichi's chest. He rummaged around for a few seconds with some disgusting sound effects before he triumphantly pulled out something that was shaped like a heart, and by that I mean the retarded heart shape people draw, and not the ORGANIC heart shape.

"Way to go, Shu-chan!" Renren cheered.

"Now to cleanse it!" Shu-chan declared. He and Renren shoved Daichi off screen and replaced him with a tub and a brush and a bunch of soap and stuff like that. They proceeded to effectively cleanse Daichi's heart.

"It looks so beautiful!" Renren marveled at the finished result that the audience unfortunately didn't get to see because of the curtains.

"Indeed!" Shu-chan agreed. "Now to put it back in!" He kicked the cleansing materials off screen, and pulled Daichi back in. He proceeded to stuff the heart back into Daichi, then using the needle and thread to stitch him back up.

The screen faded out, and when it faded back in, Renren, Shu-chan and Daichi were standing there in front of the curtains as their regular SD-like selves and not just their silhouettes.

"Wow! I feel so cleansed!" Daichi piped.

"All in a day's work for Renren and Shu-chan!" said Shu-chan, slapping Daichi's back.

"Can you cleanse my room while you're at it?" Daichi asked.

"No!" said Renren and Shu-chan in unison.

All three of them enjoyed a dorky good laugh as the screen faded out again.

When it faded back in, Renren and Shu-chan were back in their clubhouse!

"So, did we actually learn any heartwarming morals in this episode…?" Shu-chan rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Um… leave operations to professionals?" Renren tried. "Your heart can get cleansed if you believe in yourself?"

"Something like that!" Shu-chan concluded. "All right, until next time! Same Renren and Shu-chan time, same Renren and Shu-chan channel!"

The screen faded out and the credits started rolling.

THE END.

***

BEHIND THE SCENES…

"DAICHI!" Oyama bellowed as he came running over to the stars of today's episode. "Did they really…"

"Oh! No, Tai-san!" Daichi laughed merrily. "It only seemed that way because of the special effects!"

"Want to… see?" Mihashi spoke up.

"That would be swell!" said Oyama. Mihashi, Kano and Daichi led him over to the curtains where he got to take a look behind them.

"OH!" Oyama laughed, looking at all the cardboard cutout tools and cardboard cutout heart. "Oh those shadows can be so tricky! Well I for one sure was fooled, great show, Renren and Shu-chan!"

"As you can see, we're back in our burly non-SD forms now, so our REAL names would do," Kano said with a quick clearing of the throat.

"But where's the fun in THAT?" Oyama slapped Kano and Mihashi's backs.

"WE HAVE THE BEST IDEA FOR A NEW EPISODE EVER!!!" yelled Ichihara and Sawamura as they came running over.

The end FOR REAL!