A/N: Sorry for the super-long delay between chapters. I had this chapter in the works already, so I finished it, but I'm sort of on the fence with whether or not to keep this story going. I am one of those who really struggled with Breaking Dawn. It's really thrown me off my game. I had to go back and reread Twilight to sort of get my bearings again and remember where the magic all began….

A big thanks for reviews submitted and to all that have tagged this story. Please let me know if you want me to keep going. Suggestions are always welcome. Feedback in general is awesome (except negative--it depresses me). So, without further delay, I present Chapter 4….

I watched her for six months. I rented an apartment outside the piazza. I could see her sometimes, when the sky was grey and the people were scarce, he would take her outside and they would walk together through the stone courtyard. He held her hand and sometimes she'd close her eyes and turn her face to the sky. Inevitably, he'd pull her attention back to him and she'd look at him and smile. The first time I saw her smile at him, I felt like my chest caved in. I'd only seen that smile a few times before and it was mine. It had been only for me.

I couldn't read her thoughts from this distance, and for that I was grateful. I doubted she could detect my presence either. She wasn't that good at masking, and she gave no indication that she felt me near. We still communicated occasionally. E-mail mostly. She had called occasionally when she first arrived, but not anymore.

One day, she was walking alone in the courtyard on a rare gloomy day. I saw her pull the small silver phone out of her pocket and dial. She put the phone to her ear just as my own phone in my pocket vibrated. Then he joined her outside and she quickly disconnected the call. I watched her frown and close her eyes, but then her face cleared and she smiled at him. She held the phone a moment longer, staring at it. Then she tucked it back into her pocket, all but forgotten.

He touched her hair and gently let his fingers comb through it. He marveled at her beauty. He touched her with reverence and awe. She held his hand and tucked herself into him when he put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head against his chest. Lately, she seemed to glow. She was starting to look different. I wondered if it was my imagination, but then I realized that when I saw the occasional member of the Volturri family, they looked the same; pale, white, strange, but not Bella. Or Francisco. They glowed. They looked lit from within, healthy, almost human.

Today, it was bright and sunny. I stayed in my apartment and attempted to distract myself with my books. The phone rang and I quickly flipped it open and saw Alice's number.

"Alice."

"Edward. You've got to come home."

"Is everyone alright?"

"Yes, of course. We're not the one's torturing ourselves. It's you we're concerned about."

"I'm not leaving her Alice." I could hear her frustrated exhalation.

"You're not helping her."

"I don't care what you've seen in your visions Alice." I fought the urge to snap the phone shut.

"She's not the same Edward. She's not the Bella you knew." She said gently. I felt the rise of emotion in my chest and pushed it back down.

"I have faith."

"Oh Edward…" I clearly heard the pain in her voice, but I didn't care if she thought I was delusional. "It's not about having faith."

I fought the urge to hurl the phone against the ancient plaster wall. "I'm not leaving her Alice." I could hear her exhale on the other end of the phone. I disconnected before she could go on. I paced my small room until I felt my temper recede a bit. A glance in the dingy mirror startled me. I walked closer and looked at myself. Haunted, I'd say, if I were inclined to such imagery. The eyes caught my attention. They were black as coal. Was I hungry? When had I last fed? I could not remember. I would go tonight, after sunset.

The night was surprisingly cool. I breathed deeply as I ran in the woods. The smell of the earth and the night made me long for Forks. I missed the damp moss covered woods. The Italian woods smelled different and for whatever reason, I found it a bit distasteful. I wondered what Bella was feeding from. Was He helping her to hunt? Was she feeding off humans? I felt the quiver in my stomach as I remembered her reaction a year ago when she realized the human tourists were a meal for the Volturri. I hadn't been able to read her mind, but her feelings were written all over her face. Disgust. Anger. Horror. I had worried at the time that deep down, that was how she felt about me.

I ran and stopped occasionally to feed from animals roaming in the dark woods. I climbed up the last hill before the city appeared before me when suddenly I felt frozen; absolutely rooted to the spot and unable to move. Then I heard the footsteps from behind me. I strained to turn my head, but was unable to move. I opened my mind to see if I could hear any voices near me, but it was blank. The stranger strayed frustratingly behind me.

"What do you want?" I ground out bitterly.

"You shouldn't be here." She said softly.

Suddenly, I was free from the invisible grasp that held me. I spun around swiftly and took in the sight of her. In six long months I had seen her only from a distance. My hand twitched to reach out and touch her, but I didn't move. She looked angelic. An angelic vampire. I would have laughed at the absurdity of it all if it wasn't the truth.

"Why not?" I countered.

She didn't answer right away, just sighed and looked upward at the darkening sky. "I'm not strong enough Edward."

My long dead heart died a little all over again to hear the pain in her voice. I reached for her now, but she flinched backward. I quickly lowered my arm.

"Strong enough for what?"

"It's a rabbit hole. If I fall down it I'll be better, calmer, but there's no going back. If I don't go with him….well, that's not really an option anymore."

"Francisco, you mean?"

"Of course." She said and smiled at me. For a split second, I saw my Bella, eyes smiling, lips curved. But then the shadow came back and it was gone.

"What's involved?"

"He'll erase all that came before my rebirth. Right now, Francisco says that the new and old me are sort of at war with each other. Each half trying desperately to win the battle." She laced her fingers together and looked down at the ground. "He says something's pulling me away from embracing this new life. Obviously, he knows it's you."

"And when he erases your past, you won't remember anything? Not your mom and dad? Forks? Alice?"

"No."

"And there's no other way."

"He's wanted me to agree to this for a few months now, but I can't seem to do it. I keep thinking there's got to be another way."

"You seem alright now." I probed gently.

"I'm not Edward." Her voice grew hard. "I'm concentrating every second that I'm near you. I'm using all my energy just to stay here, in this moment with you." She looked away.

"Bella." I hadn't even realized I'd spoken her name aloud, but she looked up at me. Her amber eyes so full of pain.

"I have to go now." She turned away and started walking back up the hill. She was perhaps 20 yards away when I spoke to her. I spoke quietly, but I knew she could hear me.

"Don't be afraid Bella. I'll find my way back to you." I watched her back as she continued to climb the steep hill. The clumsy Bella was gone. This Bella seemed to float up the hill and easily leap over fallen logs. She didn't turn around or even slow down at my words. I thought that it didn't matter to her, but then, just as she reached the crest of the hill I heard her soft voice in my head.

"You'd better come find me. I love you still. I'll love you forever."

Another six months past and I hadn't heard from her. Nothing. Not a glimpse, not an e-mail or phone call, and perhaps most worrisome of all, nothing from Alice.

The Volturri had refused to speak to Carlisle, try as he might. Of course they still were unaware that I was residing in their precious city. So many nights I was tempted to just show up at their doorstep. Whenever that temptation came upon me, my cell phone would vibrate in my pocket. The first few times I answered it, and it was Alice of course. All she could say was that if I followed the path my thoughts were leading, she saw nothing further in my future.

The next few times I contemplated showing up, the cell vibrated, but I ignored it. I figured one way or another, Alice would know what happened to me.

But after all my careful plotting, I couldn't do it. Somehow I knew this would only jeopardize Bella and that I could never do.

It was on one of these dark and dreary nights that my thoughts yet again led me inside the fortress that held Bella. I lay on the small bed that came with the sparse flat I had rented. I stared at the cracks in the ceiling and contemplated the next millennium laying right here in this room, waiting for Bella. Suddenly, I heard the faintest creak coming from the downstairs entryway. Vampire, obviously. The speed and relative silence gave away my visitor. For the briefest of moments I thought it was Bella and my cold heart threatened to beat to life again. It was not so of course. I asked my uninvited guest a question even though she was still in the stairwell.

"Why are you here Rosalie?"

"What a question Edward. I'm sure if I'd been Alice or Jasper or even Emmett you would have guessed why they were here." She came into view. Her blonde hair moving only the tiniest bit when she walked. She wore stylish Italian leather boots that clung to her calves. Her midnight blue denim jeans were somehow tucked neatly into the boots. Her cashmere sweater hung past her hips, but hugged them tightly for the desired effect.

"You look subtle Rosalie." I did not conceal my contempt for her.

"Compared to what? You worry too much Edward."

"What I do with my existence in none of your business. You are not wanted and not needed here." I sneered. I was dumbfounded to see the hurt pass momentarily across her face. She quickly hid it in a mask of casual indifference.

"Whether or not you believe me, your happiness is important to me. And besides, I know how to get Bella out."