Disclaimer: you know what, screw it. No disclaimer. PUH!

A/N: Yeah, a new chapter! Finally! You may not like some decisions, but hey, I'm the writer of this story, so write your own :P

I've got a little problem that is costing me a whole lot of time: school. So updating is a bit tougher, but please be patient guys and girls, I will finish this - just not before the start of season 6.

So sit back, relax en enjoy this chapter :) (which again is made possible due to the hard work of my faithful beta-reader NcisRulz. Hear hear!)

PS: If you think you've got an opinion about this chapter or story, you know what to do right? Don't hesitate ;)

The end of an era

Tony was up all night long. He didn't want to go to sleep. He wanted to plan his future. When he contemplated those words in his head, he snorted softly. Who would have thought that he would ever go to plan his future? His future was not something he had thought about. He loved his job, he loved his lifestyle, so why change things? It was good the way it was.

No. It had been good the way it was. But now everything had changed. Keeping the job that he loved, but not being able to fulfill it just hurt too much. He knew Gibbs would do anything to keep him but every time they went out to go after the bad guys, his heart fell into thousand pieces. Every time he was in the office, he was reminded of what had happened. And every time he was reminded of his inability to walk, it was harder to cope with it. So after Gibbs had dropped him off, he had sat down on the couch. No movie or television. He just sat and thought about what he wanted to do with his life.

More than five hours later he had made up his mind. He had a plan. Gibbs would kill him, Ziva and McGee would probably feel betrayed, Abby would do anything to talk him out of it and Ducky most likely would give him a firm handshake and the advice to visit sometimes. But he had to do it. His decision was made, there was no way back. Tomorrow, he would hand over his resignation. It was time to move on.

'Tony, did you tell Gibbs about your decision?'

'Not yet,'

Jenny looked at Tony with a serious look in her eyes. He sat across from her in her office, looking more relaxed than he had in ages. Fifteen minutes ago he had handed her his resignation letter. She had a hard time believing that he really wanted to quit, but he had done everything by the book. If he really wanted to, she wasn't able to stop him. Too bad there was at least one person who wouldn't believe that.

'He won't accept it, you know that don't you?'

'I do, Director. But I have to do this. I'm sorry for the trouble this will cause,' he gave a genuine smile, before he rolled towards the desk a bit more. He offered her a hand, which she accepted. 'Thank you for everything. Jenny. It was nice working for and with you. You'll take care of them, won't you?'

'Thank you Tony. I hope we will see you again. NCIS will lose a good agent with your leaving. Good luck with whatever you are going to do,' she smiled, and Tony left her office. That was the easy part. Now, it was time to talk to the team.

Tony rolled into the bullpen. He went to Gibbs' desk, where Gibbs was reading something on his computer screen.

'You know you're late, DiNozzo?'

'I was talking with the Director earlier. I need to talk to you too,' Gibbs looked up. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like this talk.

'Well, talk,'

'Maybe it's better that I do this once? With Ducky and Abby here too?' Gibbs narrowed his eyes. Now he was sure he wasn't going to like this. Without taking his eyes off Tony, he reached to his phone and called Ducky.

'Can you come up here, Duck? And bring Abby with you. DiNozzo has something to say,'

Tony shifted uncomfortable in his seat. He still didn't know exactly how he was going to bring this up. He felt Ziva's eyes on his back and he knew without a doubt the look in McGee's eyes: confused. It took a few minutes before Ducky walked into the bullpen with Abby. She was bouncing a little – probably had more Caff-Pow's than was healthy today.

'Well, DiNozzo, are you going to make us wait all day?' Gibbs' voice was rougher than he intended. But the talk he had with Tony was in the back of his mind. The talk where he'd had to admit the even he didn't know what Tony could do. Again he had the feeling that he had driven Tony further away instead of keeping him close.

Tony looked around him. He was in the middle of the bullpen, next to Gibbs' desk. Ziva and McGee were seated at their own desks, looking at him worriedly. River sat at his own desk, trying not to pry, but he was very interested at what was going on.

'I have thought about this for a long time,' Tony started. He felt a lump growing in his throat. This was definitely harder than he expected. 'And I must say: the last six months were pretty rough on me. But you were there for me. You all were, every step of the way. But now it's certain that I will be in this chair forever, I . . .'

'No, that's not true,' Ziva interrupted him. 'We were there Tony, we've seen the tests. The results. You will walk again someday, sometime. It will just take a little longer than we thought,' she ended with a short nod, as if she wanted to make a statement.

Tony smiled a little. 'Yeah, I know. And I also thought about that a lot. It's just,' he hesitated. How could he make this clear? 'I've tried, guys. Over and over again. But every time that it goes wrong, it is harder. And I can't live with that. Seeing you walking out that door, knowing that I can't be there to have your backs . . .' another silence. 'It's time for me to move on. I think it's time for River to take over that desk,' he pointed at his empty desk. 'He is a good agent. You know that, all of you do. This is not the way any of us can work like we should work. We have a duty to all of the people out there. I can't perform that duty anymore. River can. He wants to. He deserves a chance in this team. That's why I turned in my resignation,' a gasp came from Abby's lips. Before anyone could say anything, Tony looked at Gibbs, who was glaring. 'The Director was not happy with it. But this is my decision. No-one else's. It's for the best. For everyone,'

'The hell it is,' Gibbs left the bullpen, and went up the stairs to speak with Jenny. Tony followed him with his eyes. He had tried, but he should have known that Gibbs wouldn't see things like he did. Finally he looked at his team. They were looking at him with eyes wide, trying to comprehend what he had just said. Finally Abby gave a small scream, and she propelled herself forwards, grasping Tony as if he would go away any minute.

'You can't go! Tony! It won't be the same without you!' Tony tried to remove her arms from his arms, but it was helpless: she wouldn't let go. So he gave her a hug instead.

'I know Abs, I know. But it isn't the same with me,' he whispered into her hair. He looked up, a cocky grin at his face.

'Guys, come on. It's not like I'm going to be Agent Afloat or something, we still can hang out together!'

Ducky and McGee walked over at almost the same moment.

'Are you sure, Anthony?' Ducky asked. Tony smiled. He knew Ducky would ask him that.

'Positive, Duck. It won't be easy, but working here is will be harder,' he ignored the tiny doubting voice in the back of his mind.

'In that case, I wish you the most of luck. Any idea what you'll be doing next?'

'Not a clue, but something will come up eventually,' Ducky nodded and gave Tony a firm handshake. Abby still hadn't let go of Tony.

'We need you Tony! Don't go!' she kept saying it, as if it was a mantra. McGee looked at her nervously.

'What's up Probie?'

'Abby is right, it will be different without you,' McGee almost blushed when he said it.

'You'll get over it, besides, you will always be my Probie,' Tony grinned a bit. Then he turned serious again. 'You're a good agent, Tim. Really. Don't forget that, okay?' Now McGee really was blushing. Tony never called him Tim. Or said anything about his abilities as field agent.

'Well. Yeah. Okay. Shall I take Abby with me?' he nodded at the forensic scientist. Tony nodded. He gave Abby another hug, and she finally let him go.

'Just . . . don't dare not to stay in touch, okay?' she hiccupped.

'Won't do Abs. After all, you are one of the best friends I've ever had,' Abby gave him one last gigantic hug, before she left the bullpen with McGee behind her. Tony looked down for a moment. He felt the emotions flying high. He hated saying goodbye. Ziva stood up and walked towards him. Tony looked up, and saw anger in her eyes and some other emotions he couldn't place immediately.

'I'll not say goodbye to you Tony. I will only say what I think right now,' Tony cocked his head to the side. Her voice was steady but there was an edge in it. A dangerous edge.

'I think you are a coward. I think you are lying to yourself. I think you are a traitor. Do you really think things will be easier for us when you are gone? Maybe it's easier for you so that you don't have to deal with your condition, but is sure isn't easier for us. You are pathetic!' with those final words she turned around and left the bullpen, following Abby and McGee. Tony was left behind, his mouth open, trying to say something. Anger boiled up, he clenched his fists and jaws together. If she thought he was pathetic well, fine. That wasn't his problem. Not anymore. He looked around in the empty bullpen, and saw John River still at his desk, trying hard not to look as if he was eavesdropping.

'River!'

'Yeah?'

'You can take my desk. Just have to get my things,' John nodded silent, he didn't know what to say. Tony went over to his desk, and started to gather his things. He finally understood why Kate always had said that he really should clean up more: he found things he thought he had lost years ago!

Ziva stormed into the lab. She was really mad. If it was possible steam would be coming out of her ears, so extremely pissed off she was right at that moment.

'What is he thinking!' she practically yelled. Abby and McGee sat together; McGee was hugging Abby who was still sad. At the emotional outburst of Ziva, Abby let go of McGee and they looked at Ziva with teary eyes.

'What are you looking at? I'm not the one who is leaving!'

'We know it's just . . . you never . . . I mean . . .'

'Oh stop babbling Tim! You are never emotional like that, Ziva. Not even when Gibbs was almost . . . with the explosion, you know?' Ziva looked away almost ashamed. It was true; this was the first time she let herself go like this.

'I did - do care for Gibbs, Abby. But Tony . . . he just gave up. He gives up, quits and thinks that's that. Do you remember the hospital? How he reacted at the test that the doctor did? He can walk! I know he can! We all know it! But that stupid stubborn moron apparently doesn't want to! Gibbs would never give up! He would never leave us like that . . .' her voice trailed away when memories flooded back: Gibbs standing in front of them wearing his hospital outfit. Semper Fi. Walking away. A broken man, feeling betrayed by his own country.

'Gibbs walked away,'

'Yeah, but he came back, didn't he?' Abby didn't really follow what Ziva was saying – but she hadn't really heard Ziva's words. In her mind there was only room for Tony's goodbye.

'Yeah, but he walked away!' What had she done? Yelled at Tony about how she thought he was a coward, while he was probably feeling likeGibbs had felt: betrayal. Not by his country, but by his own body. And she had kicked him down even further when he was only trying to get his life together.

'Ziva, what are you talking ab...out,' Abby started, but Ziva had left the lab already hoping that Tony hadn't left yet.

Gibbs had stormed into Jenny's office, not even bothering to knock.

'Why did you let this happen Jenny?! Don't you see that he is just running away? DiNozzo never wants to face his problems, you should know that by now! You can't accept his resignation!'

'Special Agent Gibbs. I know perfectly that Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo doesn't want to talk about his problems. But he did everything by the book, he followed the rules and I can do nothing more than accept it. If you really are that concerned about him you should not be here right now, you should be down stairs with him and trying to talk him out of it!!'

Gibbs clenched his fists together. He knew she was right, and he knew that Tony was possibly already gone. With one last angry look he walked out of the office, leaving Jenny once again alone.

Tony placed his stuff on the passenger's seat in his car, and gavea small sigh. This goodbye definitely had not gone like he had planned. He had foreseen that Gibbs would be furious, that Abby wouldn't want him to go and McGee's reaction wasn't really surprising either. But Ziva's reaction was the one that had shocked him the most. She was always cool and reserved, but when he needed that reaction the most she'd done the complete opposite. Pathetic. Traitor. Coward. It echoed in his head, even if he really tried to think of something else. Something good.

'DiNozzo,' Tony looked up surprised. Gibbs leaned against the car, two steaming foam cups in his hands. 'Coffee?'

'Thanks, Boss,' Tony smiled. He accepted the hot coffee carefully. 'But I thought you were . . . kinda pissed off?'

'I'm not happy with your decision Tony. I meant it when I said that you are not a waste of time or space. You are important for m . . . this team. And your investigative skills will always be useful, no matter how you move around,'

'Thanks boss. And somewhere I know that I am useful for NCIS, but I am a field agent. I want to be a field agent. And this may be the easy way out, however . . . it's one of the hardest decisions I've ever made. It feels as if this is the end of an era, you know what I mean?'

'It is the end of an era, Tony. I have to admit, I never thought you would last this long with NCIS, at least not in my team,' Gibbs smirked. Before Tony could answer this very rare compliment, Gibbs held his hand up.

'I want you to keep this. For now. Until you are really sure you don't want it anymore,' Tony looked at the shining NCIS badge. His badge. He had left it at his old desk, before he left.

'Isn't that against regulations?'

'I always like to think that those are more like guidelines, not rules,' a corner of his mouth crept up. 'Oh, and before you think that I would even let you disappear from the face of the earth because you've quit, don't count on it. I will check on you, got that?'

'Understood, Boss,'

'Good. One more thing, I never should have snapped at you the other day. You aren't a babysitter. They are good agents who know how to take care of themselves. I was just . . .'

'. . . worried?'

'Weren't you?'

Before Tony could answer that, Gibbs' cell went off.

'Gibbs . . . okay, on my way. He's dangerous, so hold your distance. Thanks,' he rubbed his face with his hand.

'Hit on the BOLO?'

'Yeah, some cops spotted him. Take care DiNozzo,'

'You too Boss,' One handshake, and Gibbs went inside again, almost crashing into Ziva. Tony heard the bitter words in his head again. Traitor. Coward. Pathetic. Without looking back he started the engine and drove off.

'Ziva, we've got a hit on the BOLO, get McGee and River, I'll get the car,'

'But . . .' Ziva looked at Tony's car which was just leaving the gate. 'Great. I'll get them,' she sighed, and went back inside again.

'We think he's drunk, sir,'

'Why do you say that?'

'Because he's singing something,'

Gibbs stood next to the agent who had called in the BOLO. They were standing in front of an old large warehouse somewhere by the docks. There lay a lot of scrap metal, old tires, timber and more junk around the place. The place itself looked as if it would fall apart any minute: the roof was collapsed partially, some parts of the walls were gone and nature had taken over, mostly with weeds and grass growing everywhere in and outside it. It was a mess. Three other agents were standing right beside them, as well as McGee, Ziva and River. They all tried to get a look at Field, who they could hear but not see.

'What's he singing?'

'Some kind of Christmas carol,'

Gibbs' right eyebrow went up a few inches.

'Excuse me?'

'Yeah, that's what we thought. He keeps on singing a part of Santa Claus is coming to town. The first part you know?'

As if they had practiced it, the agents started singing together.

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:

Santa Clause is coming to town!

McGee and Ziva looked at each other with disbelief in their eyes. River grinned a bit, but didn't dare to laugh out loud: Gibbs was not looking happy.

'You think that's funny, agents?'

The singing subdued a bit, two of the four agents had the decency to look ashamed.

'Because I don't see anything funny here. That man is suspected of killing people who are connected with the Marine Corps. Do you know how he did that?'

Now all the agents were intently looking at their shoes.

'He shot them. With a sniper rifle. Planted a bullet in their heads. Still think that's funny? No, I thought so. Now, if you don't mind, we've got a job to do,'

He turned to his team.

'Ziva, McGee, be very careful, take the left side. River and I will take the right side. Don't hesitate to shoot him if you think he will shoot you, got it?' Three nods, and they took off.

Slowly Ziva and McGee made their way towards the warehouse. The singing became clearer, and they heard that the agents were right – almost right.

'Ziva!' McGee hissed. Ziva stopped in her tracks and looked behind her. They were standing behind a large couple of bushes.

'He's not singing about Santa Claus,'

'McGee! Why do you care about what he's singing!' Ziva was irritated. She wanted to get this bastard, get him behind bars and go after Tony. It was nagging her that she had been so harsh to him, and that wasn't helping her focusing.

'Because he's singing about Gibbs! Don't you hear it? He has changed the last line!'

Ziva tried to block every thought from her mind, and listened to the words that Field was singing, loud and obnoxious, his voice not entirely steady.

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:

Jethro Gibbs is coming to town!

'We've got to warn him,' hissed McGee. 'This must be a trap, what if he doesn't hear it in time? What if his ears aren't as good anymore? His eyesight isn't getting better so . . .'

'Thanks McGee, but I heard it alright,'

'Boss!'

Gibbs sat right behind them, seconds later River emerged too. The space against the busted wall and behind a large couple of bushes became cramped, but no one said anything about it.

'Did you saw him?' Gibbs whispered.

'Nothing, we're guessing he is in the building, second floor. Impossible to get close without being seen,' Ziva said quickly.

'Can't we just call him out?' McGee suggested. Gibbs looked at him thoughtfully.

'Could give it a try. Ziva, take River to the back, he'll probably take flight. McGee and me will take cover and call him out,'

'On it,' Ziva and River took off, trying to avoid tripping over the trash, weeds and bushes. McGee followed Gibbs into the building. They took cover behind a half-demolished wall. McGee looked carefully around it. As they had thought, there was a second floor, barely holding itself up, where they saw the shadow of someone behind a dirty glass window. The singing was clearer in the building, they even heard the occasional drunken hiccup and the clatter of furniture. He crawled back down, and gave Gibbs a nod.

'Dimitri Field, this is NCIS, come out with your hands in the air!' Gibbs bellowed out. It was silent for a few moments, and suddenly a shrill laughter came down as response.

'What are you going to do Gibbsy? Shoot me? While you can't see me? I've read you were a great sniper, but for being a sniper you need a sniper rifle. Which I have and you don't,'

A loud shot rang through the building. A few meters to the left a low wall collapsed further due to impact. McGee tried to melt into the wall, Gibbs peeked around their own wall.

'You see? I can blow your brains out with this sugar. Love the name, don't you? It's called a Kate, but I bet you knew that already,' Gibbs ignored the menacing and harassing voice while he tried to gain a clear shot. There was big hole in one of the windows where Field was behind. He ducked back behind the wall and nudged McGee softly. He pointed out the hole and that he was going to the left to get better sight. McGee nodded. He needed to provide backup if Field was going to shoot. With a sniper rifle at close range it was hard to miss, so he prayed that Field was indeed as drunk as he sounded or that he just wouldn't shoot.

Without making a sound Gibbs crawled towards the left. He duck behind a small pile of bricks and cement. His movements were slow but steady when he looked behind it and tried to get a clear shot. The shadow behind the dirt windows faded a bit, came closer, moved to the right and suddenly to the left. There he stood, apparently waiting. Gibbs heard vaguely that he was shouting something but he didn't hear what. He focused himself on the one thing he had in mind: getting that bastard. He shut out everything around him and fired. It was as if everything went in slow motion: the bullet leaving his gun, the backfire he anticipated, breaking of glass and then . . . nothing. Gibbs looked at McGee, who looked at him questioning. Did he shoot him? A sudden harsh cry startled them. A lot of noise followed and McGee thought for a minute that the whole building would collapsed. They heard someone running and before they could move the voice of Ziva came from outside. Seconds later they were running together to the back of the building.