A/N Short chapter, but next one should be longer.

Chapter Eight: Deep Water

We drove away in silence. Jasper's face was blank and he focused intently on his driving. I envied him; he was able to completely immerse himself in something while all I could do was stare out the window and try to keep the mental images from returning. Just like after Keisha was killed, I couldn't even close my eyes for a second without seeing- I shook my head and started to recite my twelve times tables mentally. One twelve is twelve. Two twelves are twenty-four. Three twelves are thirty-six. Four twelves are forty-eight. Five twelves are...

We were getting closer to my flat and I was suddenly gripped by absolute terror.

'Jasper,' I managed to gasp. He looked at me sharply. 'Are we in any danger?'

He answered without hesitation. 'No. They won't try anything else.'

This announcement did nothing to quell my anxiety. 'Are you sure?'

'Yeah.' Jasper looked sideway at me again, seeming to sense that I wasn't the most cool, calm and collected person right at that moment. 'You ok?'

'Fine,' I said through gritted teeth. A second later, without really thinking about what I was saying, I blurted, 'Can I stay with you?'

There was a brief pause, during which I repeatedly cursed myself for that question. I had meant it purely as a rather selfish request- I didn't want to be alone right at the moment- but would Jasper interpret it that way?

Finally, he said, 'Sure. The spare room's already made up.'

Breathing a gentle sigh of relief, I settled back in my seat, feeling a bit better.

The rest of the drive passed in silence. We arrived at Jasper's place. I tried not to think about how quiet the house was now. No Roxy screeching. No Georgia laughing. Just empty silence, never ending. Jasper immediately headed for his room upstairs after locking the front door behind him. I made my way down the corridor to the spare room, collapsing on the bed suddenly feeling totally drained. Lying on my back, I stared at the white ceiling, unable to stop the images from flowing through my head. God, I hate crying, but I couldn't help it. With tears streaming down my cheeks and soaking into the pillow, I fell into a fitful sleep, haunted by nightmares I couldn't control.

It was only in the early hours of the morning that I realised I should have called Harry. I'd disappeared without warning and I'd probably caused Harry to have a bit of a heart attack, not to mention what my friends would have been going through.

I scribbled a quick note to Jasper and left, walking for about ten minutes or so before I decided to call for a cab. When it arrived, I gave the cabbie my address and stared out the window, watching the scenery change as we got further into the city.

I didn't bother calling Harry to let him know I was coming in, just hopped in my car and drove to Headquarters. I arrived and slipped in through the back entrance, managing to get up to the fourth floor without being seen. Harry's office was behind the last door on the left. I walked quickly up to it, hesitated, but then decided against knocking, opened the door and walked in.

Harry was seated behind his desk, head bent over a pile of paperwork. He didn't look up as I entered, but the four other people in the room did. Someone cried, 'Oh thank God,' and before I knew it I was being crushed as Li, Alex, Paulo and Hex rushed towards me and hugged me tightly. Harry's head snapped up and I was shocked by his face. Sleep-deprived, bloodshot eyes set deeply in a pale face made Harry almost unrecognisable. No smile on Harry's face any more, just a worried half-frown.

'What the heck were you playing at?' he snapped, but his voice wobbled at the end and his eyes were relieved, not angry. My friends had released me, so I stood as straight as possible and gave him a weak smile, not answering.

Harry's gaze switched from my dirty clothes to my friends, now standing beside me. 'Can you four leave us for a moment?'

For a split second it looked like Li was going to protest, but Paulo and Alex took a firm hold on her arms and pulled her back from Harry's desk, towards the door. As the door banged shut behind them, I faced Harry again. He smiled, but it was almost sadly.

'What?' I asked. 'What's happened?'

'I think I should be the one asking you that, Amber.'

I took a moment to get my thoughts in order. 'Georgia was kidnapped at Donna and Dale's wedding. Jasper knew where they took her, so we went after them. We were captured, but we escaped. Georgia-' I blinked back the tears and tried again. 'Georgia didn't make it.'

Harry looked at me for a long moment before he said flatly, 'You're out.'

'What?'

'I'm pulling you from this mission.'

Panic gripped me. 'No,' I gabbled. 'No, Harry. Please. You can't do this. I've put so much into this mission, you can't-' Realisation dawned. 'You don't think I can handle it, do you?'

Harry shook his head. 'No, Amber. That's not it at all. If I didn't think you were capable, I wouldn't have put you into this mission in the first place. Why does it matter if you're pulled or not? None of your work will go to waste; we're arresting Jasper and two senior officers will be put in another group with connections to Jasper.' His eyes seemed to sharpen as he focused intently on my expression. 'Are you still regarding this mission professionally?'

'Yes,' I snapped, outraged he'd even suggest something like that.

'Good.' Harry's eyes softened. 'I'm sorry, Amber, but the decisions been made. You said so yourself, Jasper isn't involved with the trafficking or the terrorism. There's no reason for you to be undercover, in danger, any more. Alright?'

'Alright,' I mumbled.

'Good girl. Now go tell Jasper that you're breaking it off with him, moving to Iceland, whatever.'

I nodded, smiling slightly despite myself. That was a flash of the old Harry back. I stood up and hurried out, wondering how I was going to do this.

For five minutes I sat in my car outside Jasper's house, running through various excuses in my head. Despite what I had said to Harry, I hated myself for what I was about to do, what I was about to put Jasper through.

Taking deep, shaky breaths, I pushed the front door open and walked inside.

'Jasper?' I called. A shiver rippled down my spine; the house was cold, really cold. I walked down the hall and into the lounge room, frowning. 'Jasper?'

A sudden thought came to mind and I bolted out of the lounge room and up the stairs to the second floor.

'Jasper!' I was beginning to panic. When, on a quick inspection, I found the whole second story to be empty, I didn't know what to think. Where was Jasper? If he'd left by choice, why hadn't he locked the front door?

Back downstairs, in the kitchen, I was able to breath easier again. My note was nowhere to be found, but a scrap of paper with Jasper's familiar scribble was fluttering across the kitchen bench.

Annie,

Gone to see Dale. Be back later.

I screwed the paper up into a ball and flicked it into the bin. So, my excuse would have to wait. I was still fuming over Harry's decision; I just needed more time and I was sure Jasper would reveal that he was involved with other activities besides drugs. My gaze drifted to the bin and the note that was nestled in it. Be back later. Maybe, just maybe.

Once again, I raced up the stairs and down the hallway to the end room. Jasper's office. Normally it was locked, or so I'd been told by Georgia, so I had a very lucky break when it opened. Not really knowing what I was searching for, I started to sift through each of the filing cabinets, shelves and drawers. Ten minutes in, I hit gold. Looking through the papers, I shook my head in disbelief, shocked by the sense of betrayal I felt.

'Idiot,' I muttered, staring at the files. Jasper's future was now clutched in my hands. What was I going to do? Whether I gave this evidence to Harry or not, my mission ended. The difference was Jasper being put away for drug related charges only, or drugs, terrorism and trafficking. Pushing down the guilty feelings, I stuffed the papers in my backpack and hurried down the stairs. I had to get this lot to Harry now, before I told Jasper I was going.

The sound of the door opening made my heart freeze. For a split second I stood motionless, eyes huge with fear, before I quickly dropped my backpack behind a huge potted fern near the stairs. Only once it was completely hidden and I had started walking forwards again, did I wonder why I'd dropped it. Jasper was hardly going to search my backpack.

'There you are,' I said as I came down the hall into the lounge room. Jasper was standing at the end of the dining room table, two solid-looking guys hovering behind him. 'What-'

'Sit.' Jasper pointed at the chair closest to me, directly opposite him. I sat, wondering what the heck was going on.

'Jasper, what's-'

'Before I start,' Jasper cut in, his eyes and voice sharp,' what do you prefer to be called?'

I was confused. 'Huh?'

'What do you prefer to be called?' Jasper repeated. 'Annie...' He looked directly at me and I wished that the ground would open up and swallow me. 'Or Amber.'