World of Warcraft: The Wandrings of Zach (and Co.)

Written By: Wyatt Clark

Co-Written By: Zachary Bearg and 911GuiltyJerk (AKA Tom)

Assistance By: Hunter Clark

(WARNING: Story contains violence, language (the more offensive words censored), usage of alcohol and drugs (to some extent), and some minor adult themes)

Disclaimer: This chapter was written by These Three Jerks Productions. World of Warcraft, along with its characters, locations, and elements, are property of Blizzard Entertainment. We are a non-profit writing team who intends not to sell works copyrighted by their respective companies, but borrow elements from them to entertain others in the form of our works.

Chapter 2: First Blood

Zach mounted his horse and rode off into the woods. Fortunately for him, the world was only changed visually; the roads still lead to the same places. Since he was on a horse, the trip took longer. Within a half hour, Zach was a mile away from what he believed to be his town of Yacolt, but then, tragedy struck!

Zach's horse had tripped on a giant rat-like creature, knocking Zach off onto the ground. The horse went berserk and ran off in a random direction. Zach got up and looked at the little rodent. It was somewhat humanoid, it was two feet tall, had beady eyes, and a snout that stuck out about seven inches. It brandished a pickaxe and waddled over to Zach, chattering some insane gibberish (which sounded to Zach like a crazed Buddhist on crack). Zach drew his sword and took a stab at the creature. The creature fell back squealing in pain. When it got back up though, it began squeaking in some sort of language, which for some reason Zach understood, and it sounded like, "You no take candle!"

It waddled a few steps and took a swing at Zach. Zach jumped back and countered with a jumping overhead slash. The slash cut the thing in half from the head down. Zach grabbed a handkerchief, wiped the blood off his sword, sheathed it, and walked the rest of the way towards what he expected to find to be Yacolt.

To his shock, Yacolt had been completely transformed, right down to the name of it; the town sign read "Welcome to Potshire". Zach looked around to see what other changes have been made. So far he was surprised; Yacolt, that is, Potshire, was transformed from a modern day small town, to a half medieval marketplace, half marijuana plantation. Zach knew that he had to turn back and take the road to the north to where Wyatt was, but he couldn't help but look around the marketplace. After walking around for a few minutes, a woman who seemed to be in her twenties, dressed in a brown peasant's gown, approached him.

"Help me!" She cried. "My dog has chocolate poisoning! Please find the Antidote and save him!"

"Uh, sorry," Zach replied, confused. "But that's not really my problem."

"PLEASE!" She wailed, grasping Zach's ankle. "I don't have any money to buy an Antidote! Please, save my poor dog! I can't live without poor Elmo!"

"Ok, OK!" Zach shook her off. "I'll get it!"

"Oh, thank you!" With that, Zach ran into one of the shops that sold various herbs and medication. During his run he couldn't stop thinking about how ridiculous the dog's name was.

"Elmo... Elmo? Elmo?! Freaking ELMO!?" Zach said to himself out loud.

"I'm not Elmo!" The peddler that Zach was approaching retorted. "Name's Ernie."

Zach shrugged and went up to the peddler to ask him where the chocolate poisoning antidote was. The peddler took a strange leaf and said that it would instantly cure any chocolate poisoning, and will sell it for twenty bronze.

"Bronze...?" Zach stood there, confused. He reached for his wallet and found that his pennies had turned into pieces of bronze. Zach took twenty pieces and gave them to the peddler. He then took the medicine and went back to the woman.

"Did you get the Antidote?" The woman asked.

"Yeah, here it is." Zach handed her the Antidote, at the same time thinking, crazy broad...

"Oh, bless you, kind sir!" She jumped for joy and then went to her dog, which was lying on the ground, almost dead. She rammed the Antidote down his throat and the dog gagged and swallowed it. Instantly the dog jumped to his feet, wagging his tail in a healthy manner.

"Elmo! You're ok!" The woman hugged the dog tightly, so tightly the dog almost suffocated. She then turned to Zach. "May I have your name, sir?"

"Sure. It's Zach."

"Sir Zach," The woman began. "I cannot thank you enough for saving my dear Elmo! All I have is this..." The woman reached inside one of her pockets and pulled out a potion of a fiery red substance. She gave the potion to Zach, saying she found it while walking her dog, and had no idea what to do with it.

"Do you know what this does?" Zach asked.

"No, I don't. An alchemist might though; why don't you go find one and have him examine it? It might help you on your journey."

"I see... thank you." With that Zach went off towards Hunter and Wyatt's house.