Disclaimer: We do not own any of the characters or original content in this story, that all belongs to J. K. Rowling.
A/N: Thank you all so very much for your reviews and especially your patience, we know it's been a long time since our last update but that's what happens when you are a university student, thankfully it is now summer time and the both of us are doing our very best to write as much as possible. Thank you once again and we hope you enjoy this chapter.
"Who wants to read now?" Peter asked looking around at the other Marauders as they lounged about the dormitory.
"I will," Sirius reached out and grabbed the book out of Peter's hands "maybe I can jazz this up a bit, do a voice imitation for Harry or something,"
"NO!" the other Marauders all yelled out.
"The last time you tried to do a voice imitation Snape came out sounding like McGonagall and I couldn't sit through Transfiguration for a week!" James shuttered at the after thought.
"Alright, alright no voice imitations…hem, hem" Sirius grumbled before clearing his throat.
CHAPTER THREE
THE LETTERS FROM NO ONE
"Woot!"
"What are you so happy about Padfoot? So Harry gets a letter big deal" Peter scoffed.
"Because Harry is obviously getting his Hogwarts letter Wormtail," Sirius said in a duh type voice.
"What makes you think it would be his Hogwarts letter?"
"Because who else could it be?" snapped James looking somewhat annoyed "Can we just continue on please?"
Peter grumbled something under his breath but otherwise said nothing, Sirius took this as a cue to start.
The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment.
"It wasn't his fault!" Lily cried while James just grumbled under his breath.
"Fat lump deserved it anyway" Peter grumbled under his breath.
By the time he was allowed out of his cupboard again, the summer holidays had started
"What!? And he wasn't even allowed to go to school?" Lily shouted
"That could be considered a good thing with the teachers and classmates he's got," James said in a placating manner.
"At least he'll be at Hogwarts soon so it won't really matter," Remus said matter of factly.
"That's not the point!" She shouted back then quietly mumbled "If this keep up his grades will slip…"
and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.
"A new way to measure time, how many things can the Pig break before Harry gets out on Probation," Remus smirked.
"Probation?" the other boys asked looking at Remus with confusion written on their faces.
"They let him out but if he buggers up then he's right back in,"
Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis, Malcolm, and Gordon were all big and stupid, but as Dudley was the biggest and stupidest of the lot, he was the leader.
"Sounds like the ministry," James laughed.
The rest of them were all quite happy to join in Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.
"If he's anything like James, they'll never catch him," Sirius smirked. James and Lily just scowled darkly while Peter opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it.
This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, wandering around and thinking about the end of the holidays, where he could see a tiny ray of hope.
"Hogwarts!"
When September came he would be going off to secondary school and, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley.
"That's because they don't let pigs into Hogwarts," James smirked
"No, they let greasy haired gits in instead," Sirius laughed along with the other boys at this comment while Lily sat back with an evil smirk on her face.
Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too. Harry, on the other hand, was going to Stonewall High, the local public school.
"What!?"
"My son is going to Hogwarts Dursley! And you better not try and stop him or else!" James said through gritted teeth.
Dudley thought this was very funny.
"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick."
"That's my boy," James said with a proud smile
"I like your son Prongs, definitely Marauder material," Sirius chuckled.
Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.
"Smart boy," Remus laughed.
One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn 't as bad as usual. It turned out she'd broken her leg tripping over one of her cats, and she didn't seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watch television and gave him a bit of chocolate cake
"That's not so bad," smiled James
that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.
"It's the thought that counts," said Lily
That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings' boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters.
They all started laughing hysterically.
"Brilliant, bloody brilliant!" James said wiping tears from his eyes after laughing so hard.
"Justice is served!" laughed Sirius
They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.
"Sounds like our wands, except they are good training for later in life,"
"Not everyone hexes everyone they see James," admonished Lily
"Maybe they should, it'd be a heck of a lot more fun," Lily just rolled her eyes.
As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up.
"Not the words I would use," laughed Lily.
Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.
"Also sounds like he's part Sirius, you sure you're the father Prongs?" Remus smirked
"Not in a million years Remus!" Lily yelled smacking Remus.
"Aww come on Lily, you know you want me," Sirius winked
"Get away from my wife," James said threateningly
"Oh yes Sirius I want you," Lily smirked "I want you to stay away from me,"
"Ha!" James laughed after recovering from the slight shock at Lily's original confession.
"Shut up Potter, what makes you think I want you either?"
"Because we have a child together,"
"Ever heard about how the future can be changed?" James kept opening and closing his mouth clearly speechless while Lily just laughed.
There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast.
"Tuney must be cooking again,"
"Tuney?" asked James
"It was what I called Petunia when we were kids," Lily shrugged
It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink. He went to have a look. The tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water.
"Doesn't sound very appetizing," Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust
"No worse than Tuney's regular cooking,"
"Maybe she should get herself a house elf," said Peter.
"No self respecting house elf would work for her…"
"What's this?" he asked Aunt Petunia. Her lips tightened as they always did if he dared to ask a question.
"Your new school uniform," she said.
"Excuse me?" asked Lily looking flabbergasted.
"Is that how you muggles do laundry?"
"No it is not!" snapped Lily "And what did you mean by 'you muggles' Peter? Do I look like a muggle to you?!"
"I was just wondering," Peter shrugged
Harry looked in the bowl again.
"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."
"Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."
"What!?" shouted an enraged James and Lily
"I can't believe you Petunia!" Lily shouted clearly upset while James just sat there clenching his fists looking like he could blow at any moment.
Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue. He sat down at the table and tried not to think about how he was going to look on his first day at Stonewall High -- like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.
"How dare you suggest dressing my son in rags! He has the Potter pride to uphold!" James seethed, unconsciously fixing the collar of his perfectly tailored robes with finality. Lily rolled her eyes but looked incensed none the less.
Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Uncle Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.
They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.
"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.
"Make Harry get it."
"Lazy blighter…" Sirius scowled
"Get the mail, Harry."
"Make Dudley get it."
"Yeah make the pig get up and get it!" Peter exclaimed.
"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."
"Dursley…" growled Lily
"Why don't you get off your fat arse and get it yourself Dursley!" shouted Sirius.
Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and -- a letter for Harry.
Sirius let out a high pitched noise that sounded something like a girlish squeal.
"What the bloody hell was that Padfoot?" asked Remus somewhere between shocked and disgusted.
"That was Sirius' happy noise," said Peter looking affronted, "he only makes that noise when he's really happy,"
"I don't want to know how you know that Peter but that does explain why Sirius can't keep a girlfriend,"
"What'd you mean Moony?" asked Peter clearly confused.
"What girl would want to be with a guy who makes that noise when they are 'happy'?" Remus grinned as Sirius, with every modicum of maturity promptly stuck his tongue out at him.
Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him.
Lily and James looked at the book with sad expressions on their faces
"I guess something really must have happened…" Remus surmised sadly. "For none of us to have written to him before.."
"Maybe Dumbledore told us not to." Peter stated boldly. "I mean if he put Harry with the muggles, then he would have wanted him raised as a muggle to better fit in. Not so easy to do with wizards writing to him on a regular basis."
"No way Pete, Dumbledore wouldn't do that" Sirius said shaking his head.
"He would be the first one to say that contact with us would be good for Harry. After all Harry already knows he's different then the muggles, why purposely keep us from him?" Remus reasoned logically.
"Unless it that useless sister of mine that keeping everything under wraps…" Lily scowled
"After reading all this I wouldn't put it past her" James said with a grumble.
Who would? He had no friends, no other relatives -- he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back. Yet here it was, a letter, addressed so plainly there could be no mistake:
Mr. H. Potter
The Cupboard under the Stairs
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink. There was no stamp.
"This is a defining moment for Harry, getting the first letter for Hogwarts is a very momentous occasion indeed," smiled Remus while the others nodded in agreement.
"That is it, I remember the day I got my letter," said James fondly "my Mum and Dad were so proud,"
"McGonagall came to my house to give me my letter, as well as to explain everything about the Wizarding World to Mum, Dad and I," Lily smiled "of course I'd heard all about the Wizarding World from…"
"From who?" asked Sirius looking confused an intrigued
"Snape," Lily said quietly "He lives down the street from me…we used to play together all the time as children…was my best friend growing up" she had a far away look in her eyes and seemed to be lost in her own little world.
"Yeah well I was surprised the day my letter appeared," Remus said without thinking, just trying to change the subject
"Why were you surprised?" Lily looked slightly confused at this
"Uh…"
"He didn't think he'd be good enough to be accepted," James responded quickly
"Well that's stupid, you're a great wizard Remus," Lily smiled at him Remus blushed slightly and smiled.
Turning the envelope over, his hand trembling, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H.
"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.
"Nope, he's planting one, plans to give it to you as a belated Christmas present," Peter grinned evilly
"Nice one Pete, but right now Harry's about to find out his destiny, the letter bombs will have to wait!" Sirius jumped up and took a pose trying to look important.
"Stop being a prat Padfoot," Remus threw a pillow at him "that was so corny!"
Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.
"Oh come on!" James said rubbing his hands together excitedly. "The suspense is killing us!"
"I wonder why someone didn't come to explain it all to Harry…" Lily mused suddenly.
"I guess it never occurred to anyone that he wouldn't know, after all he wasn't born with muggles just raised with them." James answered "They would just assume his aunt and uncle had explained it to him by now."
"Obviously they don't know my sister"
Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.
"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk. --."
"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"
"Of course he does, he's got his Hogwarts letter!" said Sirius with a 'duh' voice.
"Yeah so go back to stuffing your face you lazy pig. And mind your own business." Peter said distractedly.
Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.
"Hey! Let him read it first you bloody bully!" Sirius exclaimed angrily.
"That's mine!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.
"Dursley!" shouted Lily jumping up off the bed "you give my son back his letter this instant!" James put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down enough to sit back down all the while looking absolutely murderous.
"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it. His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.
"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.
"I'd say someone is a little scared right now," Peter smirked with satisfaction. Everyone else looked at Peter oddly but otherwise said nothing.
Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. Aunt Petunia took it curiously and read the first line. For a moment it looked as though she might faint. She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.
"Vernon! Oh my goodness -- Vernon!"
"Looks like he isn't the only one," Sirius pointed out quietly.
"Petunia's never been a fan of magic since she got turned down,"
"Turned down?" James looked at Lily with a bewildered look on his face.
"She sent a letter to Professor Dumbledore asking for admittance to Hogwarts after I got my letter, but she was turned down," Lily looked down at her hands which were resting on her lap as she spoke.
"Of course she would," Sirius said like it was obvious "you can't just ask to be accepted into Hogwarts, your name goes down on the list the moment you are born if you're accepted,"
"I know that now, but at the time we weren't sure how it worked. Needless to say that once Petunia was told she couldn't attend she wasn't too happy and started to take that anger out on me,"
"That's awful," James put his hand on Lily's shoulder to show his support.
"It's despicable," Peter growled quietly, so quiet that only Remus heard him while he shot him a look of slight apprehension.
"That explains why she's so nasty to Harry then, she's jealous" Remus reasoned. Lily just nodded and signaled for Sirius to keep reading.
They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.
"I want to read that letter," he said loudly. "I want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's mine."
"I'm warning you Dursley…and you too Petunia, give my son back his letter!" Lily growled lowly. The others just looked furious.
"Yeah you bunch of ruddy thieves!"
"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.
" Give my son back his letter first!" Lily said angrily.
Harry didn't move.
"At'ta boy Harry you hold your ground!" Sirius cheered.
I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.
"Give him his letter Dursley!" snapped James suddenly giving everyone quite a shock since he's been so quiet for so long.
"Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.
"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them.
"Watch how you handle my son Dursley or I swear I'll come and haunt you!" snarled Lily looking beyond furious at this point. The rest of the marauders were fuming quietly wanting desperately to know what was going to happen next.
Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole; Dudley won, so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.
"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address -- how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"
"Didn't think you'd be able to keep it a secret did you?" smirked Sirius. At that comment something clicked in Lily's mind.
"He knows," she said quietly.
"Who knows Lily?" James asked just as quietly, so quietly that the others had to strain to hear it. "What do they know?"
"Dumbledore," She whispered harshly "The address on the letter is proof that he knows where Harry sleeps...That means the Old Blighter knows my son is being mistreated and is doing nothing about it! How dare he!"
"Well, I'm sure…"
"Don't you dare tell me that he has his reasons Black! There is no excuse for this!"
"You're right Lily there are no excuses for this," Remus stepped in, "but this is Dumbledore we're talking about here, and as senile as he seems he does try to work for the greater…"
"Yeah well greater good my arse!" she snapped.
"Lily's right, what good could possibly come from shoving a wizard child with a bunch of magic hating muggles," Peter spat "Dumbledore must really be losing his mind,"
"And on that happy note, let's continue," Sirius said mock cheerfully before continuing to read before another argument could be started.
"Watching -- spying -- might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.
Remus snorted and rolled his eyes "Oh yes, because the entire wizarding world has nothing better to do then to spy on you Dursley"
"But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want –
"You will do no such thing!" roared James. "My son will attend Hogwarts whether you like it or not!"
Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.
"No," he said finally. "No, we'll ignore it. If they don't get an answer... Yes, that's best... we won't do anything...
"I wouldn't recommend that, Hogwarts won't just give up if you don't answer them."
"What do you mean Remus?" asked Lily
"I heard from someone that if you don't respond to the first letter, they keep sending them until you do respond, and Hogwarts can get pretty uh…persistent"
"Only a stupid muggle would reject an offer from Hogwarts," Peter muttered under his breath.
"You say something Wormtail?" asked Remus who eyed Peter suspiciously as he shook his head and turned away from him.
"But --"
"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"
"Hey looks like 'Tuney' tried to defend Harry," Sirius smiled slightly "but was shot down by her oaf of a husband,"
"That's a bit of a relief I guess," said Lily "at least I know that Petunia on some level still cares,"
"Even still Lily, she has a funny way of showing it," Remus said.
"Besides… I'm not sure I like the way Dursley's talking about stamping out magic." James said with a slight glare. "No amount of defense would be enough if they even so much as laid a finger on him in a stamping manner." The others nodded.
That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before;
"What, did he decide to forgo a meal?"
"Maybe have a bath?"
"Mistake his son's hand for pork chops?"
" Come out of the closet?"
"Arg! Padfoot!"
"What, it's a possibility." Sirius said with a smirk.
he visited Harry in his cupboard.
"Ah so he went into the closet instead…" Sirius said sagely
"Padfoot! Promise me you will never mention Dursley, Closet and my son in the same sentence again!" I'm disturbed enough as it is " James said shaking his head as if trying to shake off a bad mental image.
"Will he even fit in the cupboard?" asked Remus curiously. James looked over at Remus incredulously while Lily giggled slightly behind her hand.
"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door.
James glared at Sirius as if daring him to make a comment as Remus and Peter joined Lily with her silent laughter.
"Who's writing to me?"
"No one. it was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly.
"Oh yes, cause you know there are so many Harry Potters in the world that live in cupboards, at number 4 Privet Drive" muttered James sarcastically
"I have burned it."
"You did what!?" yelled Lily immediately sobering and jumping up looking absolutely furious. "You had no right to do such a thing!" Lily turned around to look at James who was looking murderous.
"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."
"Damn straight it wasn't a mistake!" Lily shouted.
"SILENCE!" yelled Uncle Vernon, and a couple of spiders fell from the ceiling. He took a few deep breaths and then forced his face into a smile, which looked quite painful.
"Good hope it hurts you bloody bas—" James muttered only to be silenced by a glare from Lily.
"Er -- yes, Harry -- about this cupboard. Your aunt and I have been thinking... you're really getting a bit big for it... we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom."
"Wait a minute, hold up, back the Express up a minute." James said holding up a hand incredually. "You mean to tell me that they've had another bedroom all this time and yet they've forced my son to live in a cupboard!!"
"That would appear to be a fair assumption" Remus said glaring at the book
"I'm going to kill Petunia! Just wait till I go home, I swear I'll hex her so badly she won't be able to walk straight for the rest of her life!" Lily shouted furiously.
"Well there is one thing that came from this paragraph" Sirius said with an unusually straight face.
"Oh and just what would that be?!" James snapped bitterly
"We know for sure that Harry is finally coming out of the closet" Sirius said with a slight smirk. James growled before jumping at Sirius and knocking him to the floor and grabbed a pillow which he proceeded to beat Sirius with.
Laughter broke out as the others were brought into the fight after being hit with stray pillow strikes. The hilarity continued until the boy's dormitory room was filled with flying feathers and everyone was rolling in laughter. It was a welcome change from the tense atmosphere that had been looming over the room since the book began and everyone was glad for it. After languidly pulling themselves back together Sirius reached to take up the book again.
"Why?" said Harry.
"Yeah what's with the sudden act of humanness" Lily said slightly suspicious.
"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now."
"Pushy Blighter" James muttered
The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms: one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, one for visitors (usually Uncle Vernon's sister, Marge), one where Dudley slept, and one where Dudley kept all the toys and things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom.
"WHAT!" Lily shrieked "That many bedrooms and they made my son sleep in a god forsaken cupboard!? How Dare they!" James reached out and put a hand on her shoulder to try and calm her even as he seethed himself.
"Someone needs to teach these muggles a lesson" Peter stated. Incensed, everyone nodded agreeably each plotting some form of revenge that they would like to enact on the unsuspecting Dursleys.
It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room. He sat down on the bed and stared around him. Nearly everything in here was broken. The month-old video camera was lying on top of a small, working tank Dudley had once driven over the next door neighbor's dog; in the corner was Dudley's first-ever television set, which he'd put his foot through when his favorite program had been canceled; there was a large birdcage, which had once held a parrot that Dudley had swapped at school for a real air rifle, which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it. Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.
Snickers ran through the group at hearing this.
"I guess there weren't enough pictures in them to hold the pigs attention" Sirius smirked.
From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, "I don't want him in there... I need that room... make him get out..."
"Man I didn't think it was possible for a child to be that spoiled and selfish…" Lily remarked in an annoyed fashion.
"Well you learn something new everyday…" Remus said bitterly.
Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. Yesterday he'd have given anything to be up here. Today he'd rather be back in his cupboard with that letter than up here without it.
"Don't really blame you there Harry.." James sighed.
Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. Dudley was in shock.
"Oh did he finally get the chance to look in a mirror?" Sirius asked innocently.
He'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.
"Brat." Everyone muttered
Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.
When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it.
"That's hardly being nice to Harry, more like their just trying to keep him away from anymore letters" James said grumpily
"Well their going to find out that it's not so easy to ignore Hogwarts, and from what I've heard, keeping him away from the mail slot will be the last of their worries…" Remus said with a smirk.
They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive --'"
With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Uncle Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind. After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick,
"I'd love to tell him where they should shove that stick…"
"Agreed, especially if Harry keeps getting hit with it."
Uncle Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.
"Go to your cupboard -- I mean, your bedroom," he wheezed at Harry. "Dudley -- go -- just go."
Harry walked round and round his new room. Someone knew he had moved out of his cupboard and they seemed to know he hadn't received his first letter.
"Of course they do, its Hogwarts," said Lily matter of factly.
"Yeah, and its Dumbledore…he's always watching, always waiting," Sirius smiled eerily.
"Thanks Padfoot, now I'm going to be paranoid that Dumbledore's got an invisibility cloak or something and is watching me," muttered James.
"I wouldn't worry about that Prongs, it doesn't seem very likely,"
"Moony's right," smirked Sirius "he only needs to be invisible when he's hiding in the washroom,"
"Dumbledore hides in the washrooms?" squeaked Peter looking anxiously at the bathroom door. At this Sirius started howling with laughter while James just sent him a dirty look.
"He's just joking Wormtail," Remus calmly responded. He then smiled over at Lily who could be found humming a familiar tune. "Christmas songs Lily?"
"Sorry," she said sheepishly while the other boys stopped to listen "but when Sirius said about Dumbledore always watching it got me thinking about Santa Claus,"
"Santa Claus? How did you get that?"
"He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good…" Lily started to sing softly.
"So be good for goodness sake," Remus joined in with her.
"Great so not only do I have Dumbledore always watching me but this Santa Claus as well," muttered James.
Surely that meant they'd try again? And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.
"I love plans," smiled Sirius evilly.
"How very Marauder of you Harry," smiled James
"Perfect, even if James and I are gone, and Harry's had no contact with the rest of you lot, he still acts like a marauder," muttered Lily
"Of course he does, it's in his blood," said James indignantly.
The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock the next morning. Harry turned it off quickly and dressed silently. He mustn't wake the Dursleys. He stole downstairs without turning on any of the lights.
He was going to wait for the postman on the corner of Privet Drive and get the letters for number four first.
"Good plan," smiled Sirius
"Why do I have a bad feeling about this," murmured Lily.
"You're right to have that feeling, every time Sirius says 'good plan' something always goes horribly wrong," sighed Remus
"Does not!"
"What about the firework fiasco?"
"Not my fault, who knew they'd go off with even a drop of water,"
"That's why they are 'wet-start' fire works Padfoot!" shouted James
"Geesh," Sirius huffed "make one mistake…" the other boys just snorted.
His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door –
Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat -- something alive!
"Told yeah," Remus smirked in Sirius' direction.
"Well how about from now on I just stop talking,"
"That'd be a first," muttered Peter
"And it's not likely to happen," muttered James
"Hey!"
Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face.
"Opps,"
"What happened to the 'no talking' thing Padfoot?"
"Sod off Moony!"
Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. He shouted at Harry for about half an hour and then told him to go and make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Uncle Vernon's lap.
James and Lily scowled but otherwise said nothing.
Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.
"Looks like they are starting to try harder," Lily smiled slightly.
I want --" he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes. Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.
"Not going to work," Sirius said in a sing song voice.
"Stupid muggle," muttered Peter.
"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't deliver them they'll just give up."
"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."
"Yeah listen to your wife you great git," scowled James
"Oh, these people's minds work in strange ways, Petunia, they're not like you and me," said Uncle Vernon, trying to knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.
"Good thing too, I'd hate to be a stupid muggle like you!" snapped Peter while the others just stared at him. Remus and James exchanged looks when no one else was looking.
On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. As they couldn't go through the mail slot they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.
"You weren't kidding when you said they got persistent, were you Moony?" Sirius said with glee.
"Why are you so happy about this Padfoot?" asked James somewhat darkly.
"I just want to know how long and what it takes for this Dursley to lose, because we all know that he is going to lose,"
"What makes you say that?" asked Lily with interest.
"Despite the other circumstances, there is no way Dumbledore is going to allow these people to forbid Harry from going to Hogwarts,"
Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. After burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.
"Also want to know how long before he goes mental,"
"Well by the sounds of it Padfoot he's almost there,"
"I would have to agree with you Moony,"
On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window. While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.
Everyone just laughed, although it was clear that James and Lily were still annoyed over the fact that Harry was unable to read his letters.
"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.
On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.
"What's the git so happy about?" grunted Peter
"No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today --"
"And you really think that's going to stop them?" questioned Lily.
Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. Next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets. The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one.
"Go Harry!" they all cheered while laughing at the predicament.
"Out! OUT!"
Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.
"Watch how you handle my son Dursley!" James growled low in his throat.
When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Uncle Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor.
"That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time. I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"
"Looks like he finally cracked," smirked Sirius
He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue.
"Probably a good idea," said Remus
Ten minutes later they had wrenched their way through the boarded-up doors and were in the car, speeding toward the highway. Dudley was sniffling in the back seat; his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.
They all laughed at this.
"About time that kid got what was coming to him," smirked James
They drove. And they drove. Even Aunt Petunia didn't dare ask where they were going. Every now and then Uncle Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while. "Shake'em off... shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.
"Definitely cracked," smiled Peter.
"It's kind of amusing how he thinks that they aren't going to be able to find them," smirked Remus
They didn't stop to eat or drink all day. By nightfall Dudley was howling.
"Pig," they all said.
He'd never had such a bad day in his life. He was hungry, he'd missed five television programs he'd wanted to see, and he'd never gone so long without blowing up an alien on his computer.
"Aww…Poor baby," Lily said in a mocking tone.
Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley and Harry shared a room with twin beds and damp, musty sheets.
"Eww," the boys said in disgust.
"Probably no worse then this room," muttered Lily looking around with distaste.
"Oi! There's nothing wrong with this room!"
"Keep telling yourself that Potter, but there is definitely some sort of an odor coming from somewhere,"
"That's just Sirius," Remus said with a smirk "you get used to it eventually,"
"Oi!" Sirius threw a pillow at Remus.
Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering...
"It'll get better son," said Lily quietly "it has to…"
James put his hand on her shoulder making her look at him. "It will," he said softly, "he'll be a Hogwarts soon enough, you'll see,"
They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.
"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about a 'undred
of these at the front desk."
"They found you," Sirius sang, the other boys threw pillows at him.
"What have we told you about singing?" asked Remus.
"To do it as often as possible," the response met with was more pillows.
She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:
Mr. H. Potter
Room 17
Railview Hotel
Cokeworth
Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.
"I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.
Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her.
"Probably," muttered Peter "but he won't see it that way,"
Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.
"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.
"Yes, he's about as mad as you can be now," smirked Sirius who was clearly enjoying the thought of Vernon Dursley going mad.
"I just hope he doesn't do anything that could harm Harry.." Lily said with slight worry in her voice.
It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.
"It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television. "
Monday. This reminded Harry of something. If it was Monday -- and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days the week, because of television -- then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.
"That's the most important birthday there is!" Sirius said excitedly.
"What about when you turn seventeen and come of age in the wizarding world?" asked Remus
"Ok, it's the second most important birthday then, happy?"
"Very," smirked Remus.
Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun -- last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks.
"They did what?" shrieked Lily looking absolutely livid. James looked about the same.
"Wish I was there," Sirius said looking dejected "I would have given him a proper birthday, presents and all."
"Let's not start that again Padfoot," James said giving Sirius a look that clearly said 'we've been through this already and everything is fine, will you please drop it'.
Still, you weren't eleven every day.
"Damn straight you aren't eleven everyday," Sirius said trying to get back to the humour from before.
Uncle Vernon was back and he was smiling. He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.
"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"
"This can't be good,"
"Of course it can't Moony, it's never a good idea to follow a mad person,"
"And yet you always want us to follow you when you get ideas,"
Sirius just stuck his tongue out at him.
It was very cold outside the car. Uncle Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.
"He picked a shack!" Lily was clearly shocked.
"He's still trying to find a place where the owls can't get to him,"
"That git really is mental, owls can fly over water and Dumbledore won't give up," said Peter.
"Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together.
"Owls can fly through storms too," smirked James.
"And this gentleman's kindly agreed to lend us his boat!"
A toothless old man came ambling up to them, pointing, with a rather wicked grin, at an old rowboat bobbing in the iron-gray water below them.
"You'd have to be mental to trust a guy like that," James said looking disgusted.
"Oh look Dursley is mental! What do you know!" Sirius said bubbly.
"Oh Shut up Padfoot"
"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"
It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces.
"I hope Harry doesn't catch a cold"
"No worries Lily, he'll be alright soon." James said soothingly.
After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.
The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty. There were only two rooms.
"Makes your room here look like a haven," muttered Lily.
Uncle Vernon's rations turned out to be a bag of chips each and four bananas. He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.
"Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.
"Git,"
He was in a very good mood. Obviously he thought nobody stood a chance of reaching them here in a storm to deliver mail. Harry privately agreed, though the thought didn't cheer him up at all.
"Don't worry Harry, takes more than a storm and a run down old shack to stop Dumbledore from owling you a letter," smiled Lily
As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. Spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa. She and Uncle Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, and Harry was left to find the softest bit of floor he could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.
Everyone glared but said nothing. Lily could be seen wiping angry tears out of her eyes.
The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep. He shivered and turned over, trying to get comfortable, his stomach rumbling with hunger. Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder that started near midnight. The lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time. He lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.
Lily was allowing her tears to flow freely now, and James had once again put his hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. He was looking pretty anguished himself.
"It's not fair, just not fair," Sirius was heard muttering softly while he wiped at his own eyes. Other than that the room was quiet.
Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.
"I do hope it doesn't cave in, it could hurt him, or worse kill him," Lily said clearly worried.
"I'm sure the roof is fine Lily," James said trying to calm her as she seemed on the verge of a panic attack.
Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.
"That's a happy thought," smiled Remus.
Three minutes to go. Was that the sea, slapping hard on the rock like that? And (two minutes to go) what was that funny crunching noise? Was the rock crumbling into the sea?
"I think someone's coming," said James looking somewhat alarmed.
"How Prongs? They're in a shack on an island in the middle of nowhere, how would they have gotten there?"
"I don't know Moony, but I just have this feeling,"
"Maybe Dumbledore finally sent someone to get Harry," Lily said quietly trying to sound hopeful.
"It's possible, but highly unlikely," sighed Remus.
"Please Remus," Lily begged "let me have just a little hope for my son on his eleventh birthday?"
"Alright Lily, it's someone coming to help Harry,"
"Thanks Remus," Lily smiled
"Hey Lily, anytime you want to beg me for something, I'll be more than willing to oblige," Sirius smirked and wagged his eyebrows suggestively.
"Sod off Black!"
"Stop hitting on my future wife Padfoot!"
One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds... twenty ... ten... nine -- maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him -- three... two... one...
BOOM.
Sirius yelled the last word, shocking everyone and causing them to jump.
"What the hell was that for Padfoot?" asked an annoyed James.
"You'll see,"
The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.
"Maybe Lily was right, and someone is coming for Harry," Remus seemed slightly shocked at that prospect.
"Or maybe it's a sea monster coming to finish off the pig and his parents," smirked Sirius evilly.
"Well don't just sit there, let's find out!" Lily snapped clearly getting annoyed.
"Alright, alright, who wants to read next?"