Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. I wish I could though since then Hinamori would kick ass in the war and HitsuHina would be canon.
A special thank you to MimiMichie who gave the kindest review I have ever gotten in a long time. Thank you so much! I dedicate this chapter to you, I hope you enjoy it.
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Empty. Gone. Obsolete.
Each word held the perfect definition for what the lieutenant of the fifth division felt.
No matter how many times she called for it, attempted to summon it, or even scathingly ordered it to appear all she received was silence in answer.
Dead cold silence. Nothing more and nothing less.
Was it even possible to lose something like this from just one stab of a sword? She was pretty sure it was impossible, but then again the sole purpose of its existence was to make her useful. Useful to her friends, her comrades in battle, and… to him.
He who held all her trust and loyalty in one palm of his hand and her admiration and love in his other. In one simultaneous move he crushed everything he held without mercy, without regret, thus crushing her entire being and everything she believed in.
Captain Aizen.
It was when her captain entered her thoughts that she knew she needed to get some air. To at least think through her dilemma properly before she started to dig into that oh so familiar rut of despair.
Two weeks after her ex-captain's betrayal to not only her but all of Seireitei did she awake from her coma. Sometimes she wished she never woke up. Never before had she faced so many problems and disturbing news all at once.
What she remembered in crystal clearness was the first request she made to a messenger shinigami of her own division. A request, a favor, to which she knew she did not deserve.
"Please… go ask Yamamoto so-taicho to let me speak to…" she swallowed, "to Hitsugaya Toshiro-taicho, despite my state."
She knew there was a higher chance of a straight forward DENIED stamp on her request than actual permission. And yet, for some unfathomable reason, General Yamamoto accepted her request with no questions asked or any side rules of what not-to-do given.
After her short and bitter reunion with Toshiro she began to have regrets for ever talking to her friend at all. An empty look in her eyes matched the smile which was void of warmth. It simply got worse after that.
Aizen Sousuke attempted to murder you.
He is dangerous and unforgiving; he cut down the other captains without any hesitation at all.
Your company needs you Hinamori-fukutaicho! No captain or lieutenant is dangerous for any squad.
Miss Hinamori, Hitsugaya-taicho received severe injuries when attacking Aizen that night. Judging on his medical records he should still be recovering and taking it easy, but he volunteered to go help the ryoka.
Aizen Sousuke is our enemy now. He must be destroyed.
Arrancar are showing up in the human world. They must be stopped at once!
Hinamori-fukutaicho… we are at war.
I'm weak. I'm just dead weight for everyone now. There is a war coming and everyone's getting ready. Everyone except me.
Momo stared at the stars.
She wondered if he was happy now, if he was truly content with what he did to her and Seireitei. Now that three captains are gone and she, a lieutenant, is left weak, powerless…
and devoid of reiatsu.
She didn't know what to feel… think… or do anymore.
People of the spirit world would tell stories of how pain and fear are the scariest emotions to feel. She thought otherwise. Witnessing the emptiness in such an intimate way definitely surpassed any unwanted feelings of fear or pain.
Confused and lost, she trudged down the pathway of the thirteen court guards.
6th division
It's gone.
7th division
How could it disappear so quickly?
8th division
Am I unsuitable to be a shinigami now?!
9th division
I don't know what to do anymore!
10th division
She stopped walking.
Tears welled in her cinnamon eyes as she stared at the destination her feet led her to. She stared at the place which held what she yearned for, what she needed most.
Comfort.
Through a rapidly blurring vision she watched her pale hand reach out to knock quietly on the door. She watched as his form appeared, he, clad in a dark blue sleeping yukata, rubbed sleep from his dark sea orbs. She watched his face transform from concern to surprise as she launched herself without a second thought into his form, burying her crying face into his chest.
Without any thought she poured her problems out to him like a waterfall emptying into a lake basin.
"I can't feel it." She cried desperately, the sound muffled by his clothes, "I call it and call it but it won't respond! I… don't know what to do anymore…"
Her voice cracked as she continued her tirade,
"I… I need it. I need it Toshiro. It was the only thing that kept me going as a shinigami! It was what made me useful." She raised her head slightly, her tortured eyes searching to find his own teal ones.
Her tiny hands had fisted his clothes into angry bunches and her deep brown orbs glowed with a torrent of emotion. Diamond tears would not cease their fall from her eyes to his dismay as he took a thumb to gently wipe them away.
His bare arms gently wrapped her into his warm embrace. He held her firmly in reassurance that he was not going anywhere, that he was staying right there with her. As she sobbed quietly into his right shoulder he quietly slid the door shut with his foot. Slowly, he guided her to the floor, his back to the door and the desperate girl in his lap. Her head leaned into his shoulder; her hands did not relieve their grasp from the front of his yukata for a second.
Sniffling, she turned her face to the side, his chin resting upon her dark chocolate locks.
"I'm scared Toshiro. I'm scared of not knowing what to do. I'm scared of knowing the truth and problems of Seireitei. But most of all," her voice caught in her throat, "most of all, I'm scared of nothing."
She peered into the nothingness that went beyond the bland colored walls, her voice getting smaller, more terrified.
"I can't… I can't survive without my spirit power. Without my reiatsu I am… I am nothing!"
He felt her body begin to tremble with choked in sobs. His own heart was suffering, being exposed to the state his dear friend, the only girl who could ever hold his heart, was in. Closing his eyes in sadness he drew her closer to his body, feeling her every curve and detail mold into his own young but chiseled build.
"Oh Momo," he sighed in a low octave voice, "Oh Momo."
He gently lowered his head to press his lips to her temple as he whispered inarticulate, yet soothing reassurances to her. His left hand rose to move along her collarbone and up to thread through her strands of silky chocolate hair.
She whimpered weakly, listening to his heart sound in slow measured beats.
"Don't worry." He held her closer to him. He held on tightly, for he knew he was only driven by passion now.
"Don't worry Momo. Ever since I've known you, you've always had a reason. A reason to pick up Tobiume and fight." He whispered as calmly as he could, an attempt to bring her back to saner means of thinking.
"Soon Momo, you will once again have a reason to fight, and this time it will be a stronger reason. That is when you shall feel it again, when your spiritual power begins to grow again."
Her eyes began to droop closed. Noticing this he softly pet her hair like he did when they were younger. As children he would stroke her hair as she drifted to sleep, watching her with the kindest of eyes that would almost put an angel's to shame. His orbs held the same kindness and love as it did so many years ago.
Sighing softly, she murmured a quickly disappearing insecurity.
"But… how do you know Shiro-kun?"
A small smile graced his lips.
"Because I have faith in you Momo. Now sleep."
And with an innocent smile of her own she closed her eyes.
Someone still believed in her. Someone had not given up on her.
Someone was still waiting for her.
And as she felt the cool wetness of her last remnants of sadness trickle down her cheeks in thin rivulets, she dreamed.
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Author's Note:
I enjoyed writing the part with Toshiro and Momo-chan. They are such a cute couple to support that I can't help but be obsessed with them!
I think there are only two more chapters to write and then I'm stopping… sadly, there is barely any HitsuHina in the next chapters. Sorry in advance! But the truth is that Hinamori is my favorite character from Bleach even though Tite Kubo is not giving her any justice in the current storyline. Toshiro is a close second though.
Please review! Like I said before, when people review that is when I will start typing and updating.
No flames! Flamers need a life and we all know it.
Until next time,
atinarox