Original Chapter Title: Of Prudes and Prunes

PLEASE DONT HURT ME!! my internet was having problems, it turns out the firewall randomly decided to block the internet (evil toaster fault, im sure) So,yeah, i'm back. One chapter left, and enjoy!!

Kenpachi and Retsu were in the human world. In a place called Las Vegas, Nevada that was in a place called America. To gamble and such!

Kenpachi figured Retsu wouldn't be a good gambler. She was quiet, caring, and he was sure she wouldn't be a good bluffer. Again, Kenpachi had no idea what was going to happen.

"We should go see one of the shows or something."

"Ok."

"Then go win some money."

"Sounds good."

"Then get something to eat."

"'K."

"Then go to the hotel thing."

"Yeah."

"Then go jump off a cliff and die."

"What?!"

"Just making sure you weren't just agreeing to everything I said."

"Would I do that?" Kenpachi said with an, "innocent" look.

"I'm sorry, Kenpachi, but you can't pull off looking innocent. It's more like a, I'm gonna kill you, or a, I'm going to kill you in your sleep, or even a, I'm gonna do something, you don't know what, but you won't like it, look and tone. You're like a devil in angels clothing when you try to look innocent.

"Oh, really."

"Yep."

XXXXXX

So the two walked around the city. Marveling, well, Retsu was anyway, at all the lights. Bright lights of many different colors. Kenpachi complained about the fact he had to be in a gigai.

"Aren't you glad you decided to wear what I bought you? You would have been hot in leather."

"I didn't decide to."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked, looking perfectly innocent, angel-like. Kenpachi decided, she, in a way, was also a devil in angels clothing.

"I didn't choose to. YOU made me."

"Would I do that?"

"Yes."

"No I wouldn't."

"Yes, you would." Poor Kenpachi, Retsu had insisted he wear his hair down on their honeymoon too.

XXX

Retsu found the show entertaining. Kenpachi didn't see anything entertaining in guys with weird hair dos, girls trying to look like birds or something, or guys in sparkly clothes. But he tried not to say anything, Retsu was enjoying herself.

So, Kenpachi had fun by thinking of creative ways to kill people.

"Hey, Retsu. How long would it take for someone to die if you say, cut of an arm or a leg?"

"Why in the world are you asking me that?"

"Just wondering." She had some idea of what he was thinking.

"Not long for a human, longer for us soul reapers. And I'm not telling you exactly how long."

"That's mean."

"I bet what you were thinking was even meaner. In fact, it's probably cruel."

She could be scary sometimes. It was like she knew what he was thinking, like she was telepathic or something.

"So they probably couldn't fight for long?"

"Besides the fact they couldn't fight well without a leg anyway? No, they probably wouldn't for long, but it depends."

"That's no fun. Weaklings."

XXXX

Kenpachi and Retsu were walking out of the show.

"Let's go get rich."

"I'll win all the money. You can't possibly be a good gambler."

"We'll see." Was all she said. "We shall see."

Kenpachi was depressed. It had been Retsu, not he, that had on money. And a lot of it. He had won only a little.

Retsu, it turned out, was a very, very, good gambler. I this kept up they would be rich when they went back, after getting the money switched over to Japanese, of course.

"Quality over quantity." Kenpachi said with an offended air, as they were looking for a restaurant.

"I'm afraid I have more quantity AND quality than you."

Arriving at a restaurant, they were seated, and were now looking at their menus.

"What are you getting, honey?"

"WHAT!?" Kenpachi yelled, spitting/spraying out his drink, which landed on none other than Byakuya Kuchiki. "What're you doing here?"

"Mm, I was just… making sure you were alright."

"Sure you do. You have a gambling addiction, don't you."

Byakuya almost said, "How did you know?" But instead said, "Don't you tell anyone…"

"I believe the humans say, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?"

"Indeed. Besides, everyone needs hobbies." Byakuya walked off, to get a new shirt, this one was ruined.

XXXXX

After they had finished eating they went to their hotel room. Kenpachi was currently in the shower.

"You done yet, honey?" Retsu said, sitting in a chair reading.

She heard a cough, and what she thought was a thud.

Thirty minutes later, she decided he had taken long enough.

"Kenpachi, you have been in the shower long enough!" she stormed into the bathroom to find Kenpachi unconscious. Evidently, he had hit his head upon hearing, "honey."

She dragged him out of the shower and proceeded to hit him on the head with something hard, then dump cold water on him.

"Hey! What was that for? Now we're going to have to pay for that broken lamp! AND I don't have any clothes on!"

"Mmhm."

"You know, I don't exactly enjoy being woke up by getting hit on the head, getting cold water dumped on me, and waking up naked on the floor. Thank you very much."

"Don't be a prude." She said, kneeling down on the floor and kissing him on the forehead. "It's not my fault you hit your head."

"Oh really?" he stood up, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around him. "And just who called me honey? Which made me slip, hit my had, and pass out. Hmm?"

"Now why would I purposely make you pass out?"

"You knew something would happen. Besides, I'm not a prune, or any other kind of fruit. That's Yumichika."

"Prude, Kenpachi, prude. And it's not a type of fruit, or vegetable."

"Com on, honey."

"I'm not honey."

"Well, it's your new nickname."

"First Ken-chan now honey. What's next?"

"Umm, let me think."

"Don't even think about thinking."

"Well then, can I tell you something?"

"Like what?"

"Like you look even sexier with your hair down and wet? Now come along, my prune husband." Retsu dragged him out of the bathroom, laughing. He was so fun to tease.

"Are you mocking me?"

"Maybe…"

Kenpachi mumbled something about her not letting him put clothes on, and that she was a bit of a perv.

But, he supposed it was all for the better when, after dragging him to their room, she pushed him on the bed.

"There you go beating on me again."

"I highly doubt someone a foot and a half shorter than you and of a slighter build could hurt you much.

"You still could…" Kenpachi was cut off when Retsu kissed him, seductively. And, I'm sure you know the rest….

The rest of the honeymoon went by without much incident, in much the same manner.

i guess there may have been slight OOCness involving Kenpachi, but, oh well. Also, i was planning on publishing the bet after this, so this is where Byakuyas gambling addiction was supposed to be revealed. hmm... what else. Ah, yes, next chapter is the last. Please review, and school starts soon, sob.