Disclaimer: I do not own Inkheart or any of it's characters, Cornelia Funke does. I do not own the wicked witch of the west, she belongs to Frank L. Baum. Wile E. Coyote belongs to Looney Toons, and the three ghosts of christmas eve belong to Charles Dickens. I own Joy, Basta Jr, Katrina, Rosalita, Eliseo, Graziano Mallory, and Sophia Mallory.

"Five more minutes," muttered Kat as she pulled the thin blanket over her head, "then I'll get up," she muttered turning over on her side. She was nearly asleep again when a splash of water splashed down on her. "OH SHIT!" She shouted, startled her heart pounding, she was soaked to the bone, as was the bed. She jumped out of the bed and glared at her husband who stood at the foot of the bed with a large mischievious smile on.

"When I say get up," Exclaimed Cockerell, "it means get up!"

Kat glanced outside and frowned, "it's not even light outside yet! We didn't get to bed until Midnight and didn't sleep until two Am! You expect me to be all morning person happy and jump out of bed!"

"Morning person, yes," Cockerell nodded, "I do not care if you're happy or not. You have to help Joy and the maids cook breakfast, which usually takes two hours."

"And you're going too..."

"Go back to sleep," shrugged Cockerell as he climbed back into the dry part of the bed, covered himself up and watched her. Kat's face grew red, she could feel herself tensing, not with fear but with anger.

"You as-"

"Mind that you are my wife, therefore my property," warned Cockerell, balling his hand into a fist; Kat fell silent, glared at him and grabbed her suit-dress. She changed in the bathroom, but didn't bother closing the door all the way, Cockerell had seen her in her birthday suit that night, against her will. She raised an eyebrow when she saw the medicine cabinet, she glanced into the bedroom to hear Cockerell snoring, that is so wrong on so many different levels, Kat said to herself. Smirking she figured, don't get mad...Get even!

She opened the medicine chest to find all sorts of goodies, then paused, Cockerell used conditioner; it also seemed his hair wasn't his true color. She found different hair colors in the chest, she mixed the blonde and brown together and laughed at seeing the purple-like color she got. She then dumped it into the conditioner and left the conditioner where she had found it. She took the evidence with her, and left it on Flatnose's door step.

She walked into the kitchen to see Rosalita, Joy, Katrina, and three other maids busy at work over the stoves, leaving one empty stove.

"Um...Good Morning?" Kat asked softly, not sure what mood the cook and her assistant cooks were in.

"When I was in New Orleans there was never so much cooking!" Snapped Rosalita as she wiped her hands on her white apron that was over her dark blue dress with light blue patterns of flowers on it.

"Morning, Kat," sighed Joy as she grabbed another carton of eggs from the metal refridgerator to the left of the white refridgerator. "Mornings here aren't very cheery as you can see," she replied tiredly, "Cockerell should have warned you."

"Did Basta warn you, child?" Rosalita asked, slapping down a frying pan onto her stove and putting five sausage patties into it.

"No," Joy replied softly, "he didn't..."

Kat walked over to her fridge, "What do we cook for breakfast?"

"Anything," replied Katrina, "anything you can get your hands on you cook. Trust me, the Black Jackets could care less what the food is as long as it's good." Katrina paused, "can you make pancakes?"

"Yea, their some of the best breakfast food I make," Kat replied with a smile.

"Please then! Cook de pancakes!" Rosalita exclaimed, "de black jackets all I hear from them, pancake this, pancake that! They do not like my pan cakes, and my Katrina does not know how to make Pancakes. Joy makes good pancakes but her husband does not like them so he forbids her, last time she went against his order he hit de poor woman!"

Kat shook her head and jumped when something wrapped around her leg, "BOO!" Shouted the voice of a little child. Kat looked down to see a little boy around three or four maybe beaming up at her, he had his mother's dark brown eyes, his father's dark brown hair, and his father's face, but he had his mother's nose. She didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know who he was, Basta Jr.

"Hi," Kat greeted, "you must be Basta Jr."

"Yep! I big boy! Daddy gonna teach me how to use knife again today!"

"Oh, he is, is he?" Joy questioned from where she was letting three omelets cook, and putting strips of bacon into two frying pans.

"YEP!"

Joy glanced to Kat and shook her head silently, she mouthed to Kat, 'I'm not about to let my husband teach my child to use a knife!'

"Why did you bring him to de kitchen again?" Rosalita asked as she stumbled around Basta Jr. and placed four meals on round white plates onto a large rack. Kat blinked amazed to see the rack was bright reed.

"It's a cooking rack," replied Joy, "a local inventor created it, the black jackets took it before he could get a patent on it or show it off."

"It's impressive," Kat replied, starting to make the pancakes when she felt a tug on her skirt. She looked down, "hi."

Basta junior reached up to hand her a roach.

Kat lunged back a little, "um...roaches don't go in food, Basta Jr. but thank you anyway."

"Oh does he have a bug again?" Joy frowned, Kat could see how she was recoiling.

"Yea, a Roach," Kat replied, "disgusting."

"For de love of Saint Peter!" Snapped Rosalita, she walked over to Basta Jr., "Basta Junior, t'row de roach out de window!"

"Awww...Why?" Asked the little boy with a frown.

"Because roaches are dirty," replied Rosalita, "very, very dirty. Gross. You do not want to scare your mommy do you? You know your mommy does not like bugs, and if you chase her around with a bug, you will be more and more like your daddy."

"I don't wanna be mean like daddy," Basta Jr. replied shaking his head.

"Then throw de bug out de window."

"Okay," replied Basta Jr. he walked over to the window and jumped up, then threw the roach out the window on his third jump.

"Thank you sweetie," Joy smiled, Basta Jr. laughed, then ran over to his mother and hugged her tightly.

Kat smiled and went back to her cooking, for a split second, just a split second she found herself thinking, I wish I could have one...Then quickly realized what she thought and remembered last night, her eyes went wide. She could be pregnant and not even know it, she paled. Her hand went over her stomach and for a second she felt sick, what if she did have a baby in her?

"De pancakes are burning! Turn them over, child! What are you doin' thinkin' your belly will do the cooking?" Rosalita called out to Kat. Kat jumped and quickly turned over the pancakes.

"Rosalita," Joy said softly, then picked up Basta Jr., "she's new and scared. Kat...Whats wrong?" Joy asked walking over to her.

"I was thinking when I saw Basta Junior...I found myself wishing I could have a kid, then..." she swallowed, "I remembered what happened last night and I could be..."

"Pregnant," replied Joy, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Kat nodded, feeling sick.

"It usually takes a few times, are you near...your...Cycle?"

"I don't know," Kat replied, "it's um..." she glanced at Basta Jr who was busy playing with his mother's hair, "it's um..."

"Has a mind of its own?"

Kat nodded.

"It usually takes more than one time before...It happens," Joy replied softly, "if it...Did happen you won't know for a while."

"How long before I know?"

"Anywhere from two weeks to two months," Replied Joy, "with Basta junior it was two weeks until I knew, with the baby in me right now I didn't find out until last month. So I've been with child now for three months."

"Aren't you worried about, him hearing?" Kat asked looking at Basta Jr.

Joy laughed, "oh, if he does remember anything about it, he'll tell all of it to his father who will blush his head off!"

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Nearly three hours later, Kat put down two plates: one in front of Cockerell, the other in front of Flatnose. She then turned and went back for the last plate, "where does this one go?"

"The last plate, the one with the most food, always goes to Capricorn," replied Katrina, "whoever gets to it brings it to him."

"That means it's your job," Cockerell replied, biting into a pancake, "damn these are good! Who made these?!"

"Hey Cockerell what's with your hair?" Laughed a younger black jacket.

"Shut up or I'll shoot you between the eyes you little weasel!" Snapped Cockerell, his face glowing bright red. His hair was an electric shade of purple; Kat had to hold her breath and bite her lip to keep from laughing her head off. "Damn you, Flatnose."

"I you, it wasn't me!" Flatnose scowled.

"The supplies were on your doorstep you-" Cockerell started before Rosalita interrupted.
"Your wife made de pancakes, and very well might I add," Rosalita replied, sitting down to eat her breakfast. They were in Capricorn's church at the tables, Kat was nervous, having to bring Capricorn's breakfast to him terrified her. The old man himself terrified her, even though he was so thin, and quite old, a good sturdy breeze could have probably knocked him over and killed him, he was still frightening though.

"I'll go with you," a small black jacket exclaimed, Kat looked over to see a ten year old boy. She blinked, a ten year old here, and armed? Capricorn was either crazy or suicidal, or perhaps, both.

"Ok, thanks, what's your name?"

"Eliseo," replied the boy, "his house is this way." Kat walked after the ten year old carrying the hot plate, a fork, a knife, and a few napkins. Anytime she tried to talk to Eliseo he'd either shrug or act as if he didn't hear her, obviously he didn't talk a lot. "In there," he replied after they had climbed to the level below the attic.

"Thank you," Kat replied, "go in with-"

"No, I'm going to go eat," replied Eliseo, then he whispered, "Mr. Capricorn doesn't like me much, so its best I stay away from his sight."

Kat nodded, waited until Eliseo was far enough down the stairs, then knocked on Capricorn's bedroom door. She knocked again and was about to ask if there was anyone home when the door clicked open, Mortola sneered at her.

"Have patience!" She huffed, walking out, she paused half way down the hallway and glared at Kat long and hard. Kat stiffened, she held the old woman's gaze, afraid if she didn't the old woman would suddenly take out a pistol or shoot her something. Kat wondered where Mortola was when women were auditioning for the Wicked Witch of the West. She would have fit the role perfectly. Mortola sneered at her one more time before walking off.

Kat entered Capricorn's room; the room was large, the walls were painted red, a high posted bed sat in middle of the room, a velvet red curtain surounded it, above the bed was a blood red canopy. I wonder if the Ghosts of Christmas Eve have paid him a visit yet. Though I doubt he'd be one for poking his head out the window and telling a kid to go buy the biggest turkey he could find. The room was lit dimly by a few candles on a table near the window, the curtains were closed. I hope I'm not entering a funeral parlor. OK girlie, here we go, just keep a straight look on, give the scary-old-fart his food then truck your bum outta here! Kat walked over to the bed to find a breakfast tray over Capricorn's lap.

Kat placed the plate down carefully, followed by the silver wear. There was a cold glass of milk already in Capricorn's hand, he placed it down and turned his nearly colorless eyes on her. Kat froze for a split second, if he grows fangs and hisses, I'm taking off like Wile. E. Coyote and I'm never coming back, I don't care if they shoot me!

"Do you enjoy your new home?" Capricorn questioned as he cut into the pancakes with a butter knife, he took a smile bite and looked to her.

"Ah...Would you like syrup-"

"I dislike syrup, answer my question."

"It's...Very...Interesting," Kat replied honestly.

Capricorn continued to eat, when Kat tried to take her leave her looked over at her, "sit down," he ordered.

Kat sat down and trained her eyes on the floor, she did all she could not to look terrified or nervous.

"It will be useful having you around the village," commented Capricorn, "Cockerell works much better now. I also am willing to give you back your camera and it's supplies. However you will only have them on burnings, you will join your husband when he burns a house for me, you will take photographs for me, and print them for me. Your camera will then go back to Mortola, after this you will frame the photographs for me, my photographer."

Kat nodded.

"Also," Capricorn replied, "I have decided that you will be my second personal maid. Cockerell tells me you are very obedient, you serve quick and well, therefore Mortola will now be the village's main maid again. You are my personal maid you will be at my side every minute of the day, at night you will return to your husband. You will go whereever I go, you will do I say for you too." The entire time he ordered Kat around he spoke softly and Kat noticed it seemed as if he were just talking about a cloud in the sky, but yet the man was terrifying.

Kat nodded, "it is an honor."

"Set out my suit, I want to wear my yellow suit today," Capricorn ordered. Kat stood up and looked through the dim room for the closet. "To the left, near the far hand left corner."

Kat found the closet, slid it open and took out a banana colored suit she didn't show her disgust with the suit, she draped it over his chair.

"I want to wear my sold black tie, as well as the diamond tie-pin."

Kat got those as well and sat them on the seat of the chair.

"Good, go wait outside, I'll call for you when I am ready."

"Yes, Capricorn, sir," Kat replied, walking out his bedroom door she clicked it shut behind her and wrapped her arms around herself. She fought her hardest not to cry, having to be near that monster every second of the day was an utter nightmare. Please have Cockerell burn something soon, please she found herself thinking.

"Cockerell's wife," grunted a new voice.

Kat jumped and looked up then froze with fear and intimidation; a man who was taller than her, but shorter than Flatnose, stood a few feet away from her. His arms were crossed, he wore a pair of black jeans, a tight black shirt, a black leather trench coat, and black combat boots. His hair was long and black as well, it was pulled and tied into a braid that laid on his back; his eyes were dark brown; his pockets seemed to be filled with weaponry from all the clinking and clankling when he moved. On his belt were two pistols, boxes on the belt probably held extra bullets; there were at least four to five different sized daggers that she could see.

"Graziano," replied the man, though he wasn't extremely tall he was extremely muscular, "I'm one of the black jackets here in the village, I like your cooking."

"T-Thank you," Kat stammered in fear.

"Your sexy as hell," he smirked, "Cockerell's one lucky man, what's Capricorn doing?"

"Dressing," Kat replied.

"Ah, made you his personal maid, huh?" Graziano asked, more sarcastically than ever.

Kat nodded stiffly, she wanted to run from this man in fear.

"You piss Capricorn off," he smirked, "I'll be your last sight in this life time, let me warn you of that." When Capricorn stepped out the old man nodded to Graziano.

"We will speak in my church," Capricorn exclaimed softly before starting to walk off he froze, "Kat you will walk three steps behind me at all times."

Kat nodded and walked behind Capricorn, she counted his foot steps, when he took the third step she walked forward slowly. She heard Graziano's cruel and sarcastic chuckling behind her as he followed her he whispered in her ear, "too bad Cockerell found you before I did. But he won't be around forever," Kat felt Graziano's finger run down the small of her back and jumped, blushing when he pinched her bum, "when he gets himself killed or dies at one of these burnings, I'll gladly take his place and be your husband."

Kat's heart pounded in fear, could this day get any worse?

"Mark my words, little kitten," Graziano whispered in her ear again, she shuddered when she felt him kiss her cheek, "I get what I want, always. And I see something I like...Very...Very...Much...Trust me kitten, one day you'll be Mrs. Graziano Mallory."

Oh great, his last name fits him all to well, it works a good warning; Mallory in Norman French meant "unfortunate." If something does happen to Cockerell I'll be Mrs. Unforunate, Cockerell I may not like you very much but you had best live a long, long, long time. Kat thought to herself, her mouth as dry as cotton.