Chapter 6 – Despair
Wildstorm was horrified when she entered the den to see Duskshadow trying to stretch his legs while ignoring the pain. "What are you doing?!" Her gasp caused Duskshadow to freeze. "You'll never heal your leg this way!" Wildstorm snapped, using a firm forepaw to force him down on the nest. "Do you want to stay here forever?"
"If I stay here any longer I won't be able to even fight when I get better!" he complained. "Can't I do anything other than eat and sleep here?"
"No," came the stern answer. She talks to be as if I'm a little kit! I'll fall behind this way!
Duskshadow sighed. There was absolutely nothing to do in this den, but watch the two medicine cats carrying herbs in and out. Well, as Stormclaw taught him, it was easier to fight a battle when you understood your enemy's way of thinking, and any weakness they may have.
First he observed Wildstorm. The old she-cat seemed full of energy unlike the other cats her age in the elders' den; she would have to give up her medicine cat duties soon and pass the job to Ravenpaw. He noticed small things: she sometimes limped on her left hind leg, and walked more confidently on her right. He stopped and shook his head. Why am I thinking of these things as if they're weaknesses in an enemy?
Nevertheless he did the same with Ravenpaw. There was nothing else to do. She was a pretty big cat, younger than him yet stood just as tall. It was hard to tell that she was blind in one eye—both were bright blue. He could only tell when she kept turning her head to see with her left eye when she was trying to sort the herbs.
He sighed again, and this time Ravenpaw noticed. "Hungry again?"
"No. I'm rotting in this stupid den of yours."
"Then do it without the attitude." Ravenpaw turned to sort the herbs again.
Again, he changed to topic. "So, when are you getting your medicine cat name? When Wildstorm dies?" It won't be so long till she does.
"She'll give me my name when she thinks I'm ready to be a full medicine cat." When is that? When she goes to join StarClan?
"And what do you care? Just die or heal already."
"Now that's a grumpy medicine cat apprentice. No wonder our injured cats heal so quickly—they just want to stop sharing the same den as you." Insulting, insulting, always insulting. What is wrong with me?
Yet again, she shut her mouth. Duskshadow continued, "Well, I don't care. I'm gonna be the best warrior in ThunderClan anyways, while you look after the others with stinking herbs."
Or so he thought.
"Think you're ready?" mewed Wildstorm. The camp was empty; all the cats were either training their apprentices or hunting. Duskshadow liked it this way—he wouldn't want the other cats to see him this weak. "Just test your leg gently on the ground."
When he did, pain lanced up this leg, and he immediately lifted it back up. "Are you sure it's healed?"
"That's up to whether it hurts too much to walk!" Duskshadow bit his lip and tried again, but his leg wouldn't stop hurting. It felt like his bones were reattached, yet they were attached in the wrong way.
He gave up, and collapsed. "I can't do this."
Foxstar and Ravenpaw were watching as well, when the ginger-and-white leader finally meowed gently, "Just accept it, Duskshadow. It'll never mend."
The familiar rush of anger gave him enough energy to make him try again, but Foxstar continued, "You heard the tales of back before the Great Journey in ThunderClan's old home. Cinderpelt's leg broke, and it never mended properly, like you. She could never be a warrior, then."
"What about the stories the elders tell us of Brightheart? She lost an eye and an ear, but she grew to be a warrior in her own right!"
"I know how you feel, Duskshadow!" mewed Foxstar sharply. Liar. How can you know if you've never had your leg like this for the rest of your life? "But we've all seen you do well in the daylight Gathering, and you always depended on your speed to defeat your opponent. How can you do that with three legs?"
There was an uncomfortable silence, as despair washed down on Duskshadow. At least there was one thing that was going well for him: there were no cats in the clearing to see him like this. I'm useless.