Chapter 7 – Reprieve
Three moons later—
"Dawncloud will be the deputy of ThunderClan."
His sister looked proud as the Clan congratulated her, while he listened to the ceremony from inside the medicine cat's den. One small part of him felt proud of his sister as well; she was determined to become Clan leader while he himself was not. And whatever pride he had in himself had vanished, to be replaced with that terrible sense of uselessness. He ate the Clan's prey when he himself didn't bring in any. What was he to ThunderClan but a burden?
You were once the best, Duskshadow thought. Now, what was he? StarClan took just one of his four legs, and he was done. Was that all I was? Was I just a hind leg? It was absurd.
Ravenwing entered the den with herbs in her mouth. Duskshadow recognized the scent of thyme. Ravenwing had received her name when Wildstorm passed away just one moon ago, and when Foxstar offered Duskshadow the same path that Cinderpelt the medicine cat had taken, he refused. I can't just forsake my namesake. I don't save lives; I take them.
But being a medicine cat would at least help the Clan. Well, Ravenwing would hate having him for a medicine cat apprentice. How ironic will that be?
"Aren't you going to congratulate your sister? She's probably going to be leader in a few moons—Foxstar's getting old."
Duskshadow didn't answer. Instead, he got up and mewed, "I'm going out."
Ravenwing narrowed her eyes. "I'm going with you."
"Why? I'm not going to run away."
"If you do something stupid like climbing another tree, you won't be able to even walk."
"Listen to what you're saying. You think I'm stupid enough to climb a tree with three legs?" Without waiting for an answer, he hobbled away as fast as three legs could take him. His fourth leg was dragging on the ground, useless. Ravenwing followed stubbornly, slowing her pace to follow at his back.
Staying out of camp was bliss, free of that feeling of uselessness and away from the eyes of the apprentices. At least, most of the apprentices were warriors now; Rowanheart had an apprentice and Duskshadow suspected that he was teaching the apprentice to hate him. One thing was still going for him, though: his reputation. Most of the cats he had slept with in the apprentices' den still seemed to respect him—not really respect, but as if they feared him, even with his bad leg.
He had no particular destination in mind, but he found himself in the training hollow, the ground covered with soft and springy moss. Duskshadow remembered the old days of training with Stormclaw. Cats could say that he had a great talent for fighting, but he still had to practice just as much as any other cat.
Ravenwing mewed, "What do you want to do here?"
On that springy moss surface, he felt as if he wasn't crippled. And when he felt like this, he wanted to feel that exhilarating sense of being able to fight. He could feel Ravenwing's presence at his back, wondering what he was doing. Without warning, he slid out his claws and whirled, extending his left hind leg to sweep Ravenwing's legs from underneath her.
He was a dark golden blur when he moved, but the medicine cat moved just as quick. She leaped over his leg and bristled. "What do you think you're—"
"This." Using only one leg to pounce had hardly any strength to allow him to leap at an enemy more than a foxtail away, but Ravenwing was right before him, and he felt better than he had when he was cooped up in the medicine cat's den. He leaped with a snarl, and when he tried to rake his claws over her shoulder, she jerked back.
Before he fell from the Sky Oak, he would have continued the onslaught by rearing on his hind legs and slashing continuously until the other cat's guard broke, but with his crippled leg that was impossible. This'll be more of a challenge—a crippled cat against a one-eyed medicine cat.
And because she was a medicine cat, he intended to bring her down quickly. Even with three legs, he was still good enough for that. He was filled with a wild energy. This is what I was made for. He felt five times better than when Foxstar was crushing his hopes of becoming the best warrior in all four Clans.
But when he pressed the attack while she either dodged or endured with tremendous endurance, he had doubts. And then the realization came: She is stronger than I am.
Strength was nothing. In his fight with that hulking RiverClan apprentice, strength urged the RiverClan cat to keep attacking while Duskshadow conserved his own energy to strike back later, when his enemy was fatigued and exhausted. But even so, this was a medicine cat, with only one eye. My skills have died with my leg. And staying inside that cursed medicine cat den for four moons haven't helped either!
He was panting for air, while Ravenwing suddenly surged with strength. When he leaped, she met him in the air with sheathed paws and a surprising brute strength beneath her black fur. Again it was hard to tell that she was blind in one eye, but she fought like she could see from both. "Give up!" she snarled, blocking his weak attacks with a raised paw. "Yield!"
Duskshadow answered with a spitting snarl and lashed back in fury. She dodged easily. Now I know how Rowanheart has felt, every time I beat him. Younger, but better.
The sounds must scare all the prey from here to the lake, Duskshadow thought grimly as Ravenwing finally pinned him down with a paw to his throat. She was panting hard as well, and her paw pressed down so hard that Duskshadow thought wildly that she would throttle him. Finally, she let go. Without a word, she bounded away towards the camp.
Duskshadow stayed, but as he trudged back to camp, he didn't feel despair anymore. It was reprieve. He had a new dream: to train harder than ever, to become as famous as one-eyed and one-eared Brightheart, as well-known as Cinderpelt the crippled medicine cat. Only this time, he would succeed where Cinderpelt herself failed: finding a way to become a great warrior with a handicap.