Thank you so much for the reviews!! Please keep them up! So I decided to make this chapter all in Peyton's point of view. Just because I think I needed a whole chapter to show how she's really feeling. I also decided to have this chapter go along with Leona Lewis' 'Bleeding Love' song. I listened to it over and over again while I was writing, and the lyrics really got me into Peyton's character. If you have the song, listen to it while reading the chapter, it makes it better! haha maybe that's just me….Hope you enjoy!
Peyton
"Ok, so personally, I'm thinking that that outfit is defiantly not your hottest, but that's just me." Brooke said, as she eyed my washed out jeans and "Tree Hill Ravens" blue t-shirt.
"I'm not going to see him." I responded.
"Peyton!"
"No, Brooke, listen to me," I took a deep breath and continued, " I cannot go see him today. Lindsey just left him yesterday, and I am not going to show up and declare my love for him. That would be as if now I'm just assuming that since Lindsey is gone we are going to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. It's not fair to him."
"But don't you think that telling him exactly how you feel about everything is fair to him?" Brooke pleaded, wanting nothing more than her best friend to be completely honest with the man she loved.
"I'm not saying I'm never telling him everything, I'm just saying that it's too soon. I'm still going to tell him, I need to tell him, but it just has to be the right time." I walked over Brooke and pulled her into a hug, "Thank you, Brooke. Thank you for being my best friend and wanting the best for me. But I have to do what I believe to be right, ok?"
Brooke nodded against my shoulder, "I just miss seeing you have a real smile."
"I know. I miss it too." I pulled away from her, "But I need to get out of this house, I need some air, so I'm just going to go for a drive, k?" Brooke nodded, and I grabbed my keys and walked out into the fresh Tree Hill air.
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
I drove all around Tree Hill. Memories flooded into my mind. Memories about everything, Lucas, Brooke, my mom, Ellie, they were everywhere. This town for so long had been my safe-haven. The place where, no matter how much hurt was going on, there was always somewhere to go that would make everything better I could always go to my mom.
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
As I pulled into the graveyard to visit her, I was reminded of a memory that I had not thought of for a long time. The day I was leaving for L.A with Brooke, and I came here with Lucas.
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Lucas grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked up into his warm blue eyes and leaned against him for support. I was going to say good-bye to my mom. It was the longest I would go without being able to visit her. Even though she had technically always been gone, but there was something comforting about having her grave 10 minutes away from my house.
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
We walked up to her grave. The sun was shining down on us and the breeze blew my hair out of my eyes. I pulled my hand away from Lucas' and kneeled down. I ran my hand over her name.
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
"Hi mom, so you probably already know this, but I'm leaving for three months. I'm going after my dream, mom. I get to work at a record label. Cool isn't it?" Luke kneeled down next to me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders," The thing is mom, I have to leave you." The tears formed before I could even stop them.
But nothing's greater
Thanthe rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
"I'm going to miss you so much. It might sound ridiculous, but being able to come here, to this spot has been the only thing that has gotten me through the past few years. Well, actually mom, there has been something else." I pulled my eyes away from the cement stone and looked over at Luke. His eyes stared back at mine. What I saw would have scared me a few months ago, but now they just made my heart full, " I love him so much Mom, and I'm scared that by leaving it's all going to change. He's my saving grace. The only thing in my life that makes sense, and what scares me, is that it doesn't scare me how much I love him."
Luke wiped the tears from my face and leaned his forehead against mine, " Hey Mrs. Sawyer, I just wanted to let you know that Peyton is in good hands. She has no idea how much I love her. How much I need her, probably more than she needs me. She is everything to me, and with out her I would be lost. She saved me. And she has nothing to be scared of because I'm always going to be here for her" At this point, Luke was crying too, and I kissed him softly, "I'm always going to be in love with you, Peyton. You are everything to me, you know that?"
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I...
I looked back up into his eyes, and nodded. He kissed me hard, as if it was our last kiss. When we pulled away, I had to catch my breath. I smiled, "Jeez Luke, we're in front of my mom." We laughed and he wiped my eyes.
"We got to get to the airport." He whispered, as if he was hoping that I wouldn't hear; that I would forget about L.A and stay here with him. Part of me was hoping I would.
"Well I'll be back soon mom. I love you." I kissed my hand and set it on her stone. We stood up, and Luke led me to the car, but before we got into the car, he pushed me against the door and kissed me.
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
"Nothing will change, Peyton. I know we are meant for each other, we always will be."
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
The tears were falling slowly down my cheek and I leaned my head down into my hands as I kneeled in front of her stone,
"God, Mom, I need you so much right now. What do I do? I still love him just as much as the last time we were here together, maybe even more. But this time it doesn't feel good, it hurts so much." I was sobbing now, " I need you to hug me, Mom. Do you remember how when I was little, and I would get upset about something, you would always give me those Eskimo kisses and sing to me? I need that right now, I hurt so much. I'm always going to love him, Mom. And now it scares me." I continued to sit there and cry until the sun begins to set.
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I...
I finally decide that I need to leave. I stand up brush the tears away from my face and brush my hair back, I whisper, "I love you, mom" and walk down to my car. The sun has turned the sky into a blood red. Its light is reflected onto the hood of my car. I look up into the clouds; they mesmerize me until a voice pulls me out of my trance; a voice that I have become too familiar with.
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I...
"Peyton." Lucas states it softly. I look down from the sky and he is standing a few feet away from me. My heart catches and my body begins to feel weak. And then he begins to walk towards me.
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
So what did you guys think? I know this probably wasn't the encounter you were hoping for, but there will be actual interaction between them in the next chapter, this I promise! Review!