A/N: Ugh I'm so sorry that I had to put you through this chapter. I honestly didn't know what to write. The next one will be better. More... action I guess. But this was one that had to be done. Ah well... if any of you guys HAVE ANY IDEAS PLEASE TELL ME!! I'm running out of crap and right now i'm ticked off and just wanna kill off everyone cause I heard of the news for midnight sun! I know im a little late.. BUT DAMN THEM! Anywayss... R&R and I promise the next chapter will be better.

CHAPTER 8

Should I even be left alone?

I wasn't even sure how long I had sat there. It could've been a day, or a week, or even a month although that was unlikely. I didn't even watch the sun rise or set. It seemed like I wasn't on this earth, as if I was on a different planet. A war waged inside me. Three parts of me fought eachother for hours on end.

Part one wanted to run. To leave and never come back. It was so hurt that if tears were possible I could flood a room.

Part two wanted to kill him, or yell at him, or punch him. That part was so angry that it consumed a lot of my being. It hated him and wanted to inflict pain.

Then there was part 3. This part was the worst. It wanted to forgive him. To run back into his arms, and to hug him, and hold him, and tell him I forgave him. It wanted to act as if none of this had happend and to live eternally in his arms.

The war was so vicious it held my attention completely, and I was vaguely aware of the knocking on my door, and the being that walked inside.

"Bella?" The girls voice asked. It was Alice, naturally. When I didn't answer, she came and sat beside me. "Bella, I want to talk to you."

Slowly I turned to her. "Alice, if your here on his defense don't bother."

"Actually," she said sheepishly. "I wanted to know what your decision is. I know you've been considering some options, and I don't like some of them. You future keeps on changing, over and over again, and its driving me insane. I... I just want to make sure your not going to leave."

I sat quietly for a moment, then looked into her eyes. They were filled with care, and concern, while mine felt dead and sad. I slowly shook my head. I didn't know what that meant, but it seemed to be the answer she was looking for. Alice smiled lightly and got up.

"Jasper and I are going hunting. He's been a little down lately," she added closing the door behind her.

The war continued to wage in my mind, but a part was clear enough to take in what Alice had said. He and Jasper were going hunting. Boy was I thirsty myself. I could'nt go with them, I was obviously the one who was effecting Jasper's mood. So I would go tonight. I was so glad that there was something else to think about other than the situation I was in.

I enjoyed this distraction for a brief moment, until a realization hit me like a 200 pound weight. Alice and Jasper were going hunting, leaving Edward and I in the house. Alone.

As I hear the door close downstairs I knew what I would have to do. I'd have to talk to him while I had the chance. While we were alone, and nobody could get in the middle of this.

I walked to the door as slowly as I could, and opened it. I stopped at the top of the stairs frozen. There he was, Edward, sitting on the couch completely oblivious to my being there.

"Edward," I whispered, knowing perfectly well that he could hear me just fine.

He turned quickly as if I startled him. He looked shocked, and happy, and sad all at the same time. But there was an emotion there I couldn't figure out. After a miliseconds thought, I realized what it was.

He was scared of me.