"Hello? This is Itsuki Koizumi."

I always hated talking to this guy, on the phone or in person. Koizumi's plastic smile and eternally cheerful tone of voice never failed to unnerve me. He didn't even sound tired, despite how late it was. Shouldn't he have been asleep? Taking a breath, I replied,

"Hello, Koizumi. This is Kyon. I. . . I hate to have to call you like this, but I'm in kind of a tough spot here. You see, something happened, I guess I can explain that later, and the point of the matter is that I don't have a house anymore. So, my sister and Shamisen and I need a place to stay for a little bit while my family sorts things out elsewhere."

I must have been crazy. Talking to Koizumi about personal family matters? At any other time I would have chosen to be mocked by Haruhi, or to listen to Nagato's endless, incomprehensible monologues. Or even better, to be consoled by the gentle and beautiful Miss Asahina. If I knew what was good for me, I would have hung up right then and there and dropped the matter entirely. But I thought better of it. Might as well hear what Koizumi had to say first.

"Oh, that is indeed unfortunate. You have my deepest sympathies."

His speech patterns were odd, to say the least. Even when he was being completely and utterly sincere, the way he worded things often sounded alarmingly like sarcasm. But this time his tone did contain something that I recognized as genuine sympathy, and for that I was somewhat thankful.

As Koizumi spoke again, I could see in my mind's eye the expression that probably adorned his face right now, and it did nothing to comfort me.

"In fact, if you so wish, I have several extra rooms at my house. Things have been quiet around here as of late, so I certainly wouldn't mind some guests."

I have been around Koizumi long enough to have gained the ability to read right through his gratuitous sugar-coating and uncover the real motive behind his often ambiguous statements. The outlook for this particular one did not please me one bit. Right now I could practically see his face twisting into a smirk at the thought of finally having me live with him in close proximity. Why couldn't he lust after girls, like a normal guy? Or perhaps, why couldn't he pursue some other guy? Why me? That's all I ask!

My internal rantings aside, there was actually some good news mixed in with this. He said yes, he invited me into his home, and as much as it would NOT be my preferred place of residence, at the very least, I had somewhere to go.

"Eheh. . . thanks a lot. I. . . er. . . appreciate your generosity. Look, um. . . I have to move in in less than a week, is that all right?"

Koizumi chuckled. "No trouble at all. Would you be ready to come over tomorrow? It would be most convenient if this could all get sorted out on a day off from school."

"Sure, that would be fine. I don't have too much I can bring, just my clothes and some things for school, everything else is being sold along with the house."

"Hmm, yes. I see. Very well, I'll be expecting you tomorrow then."

And so it ended, as I hung up the phone and lay back on my bed to sleep there for what would be the last time. And what an unusual feeling that was.

I was woken early the next morning (actually around 9:00 AM, but considering how little sleep I had gotten, that was pretty early) to gather up the few material possessions I was allowed for my voyage into the horrific unknown. My school uniform, some extra outfits for off days, sleepwear, toothbrush, toothpaste, my school bag containing all the appropriate books and papers, that was just about the extent of it. It seemed more like the kind of stuff you'd bring on vacation than if you were moving.

The car ride to Koizumi's house was quiet. My sister was occupying her time playing with Shamisen, and I was at least happy to see that all melancholy on her part had vanished. Ah, childhood, the time where you could completely forget everything that was troubling you as long as you had a soft animal to cuddle with. Makes me kinda wish I had mine back.

Our destination was a nice traditional Japanese-style house, out of the way and tucked among a cluster of trees. Had I not been here before for the shooting of our movie (a hellish experience, by the way, one which I would rather forget) I would have had no way of knowing it was here. I immediately saw two people greeting us from the front porch. One I recognized as Koizumi; the other was someone I had never seen before, but I assumed it was his cousin.

My parents stepped out of the car, followed by my sister and finally by me, and Koizumi and his as of yet unidentified relative met us there. Now that I was closer, I could certainly see the resemblance between Koizumi and his cousin. He seemed to be in his early twenties, and was tall and slim. His hair was darker than Koizumi's but styled much the same way, and he wore glasses, which gave him a sharp, intelligent look that contrasted with his friendly expression and soft eyes. And his style of dress (a yukata, by the way) was far removed from anything I'd ever seen Koizumi wear. Maybe he was a writer? He extended his hand for each of us to shake in turn.

"It's a pleasure to meet all of you. My name is Yukito Koizumi, I'm Itsuki's older cousin. We hope to be good hosts for however long you'll be staying with us."

That same Koizumi politeness, he was definitely his cousin. He went aside with my parents, supposedly to chat about general guardian procedures, leaving me with Koizumi. He was smiling, as always.

"Since you're going to be living with us now, Kyon," he said. "It may get confusing for you to be calling me 'Koizumi' when there's another in the house with the same name. So please, while you're here, call me 'Itsuki,' okay?" He gave me a sly look that I did not like at all. "Or would you prefer to call me 'Icchan?'"

I attempted in vain to keep my cool as he moved dangerously close to me again, like he always does. Pushing him away, I muttered through gritted teeth,

"Let's just stick with 'Itsuki.'"

It was past noon by the time my parents finally left. They had said that they were going to be busy with the moving arrangements, so we probably wouldn't be able to see them during the week until their ultimate departure, so I was treated to a good half-hour of mushy goodbyes and tears and hugging and whatnot. I'll spare you the details.

Inside, the Koizumi house seemed to be a comfortable place to live. I couldn't help but notice though as I walked in that the paper door was a little worse for wear, like it had been torn down and rebuilt multiple times. This was what prompted my question.

"Hey, Itsuki, is there something going on in this house that you're not telling me? Neither you nor your cousin seem to be the type to tear down doors."

"Oh, that?"

Yes, that. What else could I have been talking about?

"Sorry for not telling you about this earlier, but some of my colleagues like to come and visit on occasion."

"Other espers?"

"Precisely. Most of them are fairly well-behaved, but others. . . can be a bit destructive. There are frequent conflicts in the Organization, and sometimes they can turn into physical fights among some of our younger and more impulsive members. They're so disagreeable that almost every single time that more than one comes over, there ends up being a fight. It's quite the nuisance."

Funny, I didn't hear about any of this over the phone.

"Fine, but just be sure that they're all aware that my sister and I are merely innocent guests. I don't really want to become the target of a flying kick to the head."

"Don't worry about it. I will personally guarantee your safety."

I still don't trust you.

"Anyway, you'd best take your things up to your room. It will be the first room on the left after you go up the stairs."

. . .Was this some kind of joke? The room that Itsuki had distinctly referred to as "your room" as in mine was by no means vacant. There were already various books, papers, and articles of clothing strewn all over the floor, in addition to an unmade bed, a desk, and a fully stocked closet. In fact, as I realized with horror, this was Itsuki's room! Just what was he trying to pull? Unable to suppress my growing fury, I shouted rather loudly towards the ground floor,

"ITSUKI! I thought I was supposed to take my things to MY room! This is yours!"

The soft voice floating up from downstairs answered me,

"Heh, don't worry, I was just kidding. Just take any empty room you like."

I didn't have to put up with this. Most people would consider Itsuki's behavior to be some form of sexual harassment, wouldn't they? Yet somehow, he's always managed to get away with it. Kinda like how Haruhi always gets away with harassing Miss Asahina just because she's a girl. No one ever seems to care about it unless a guy is the perpetrator and a girl is the victim.

I crossed the hall to an unoccupied room. It was a spacious one, with a bed in the corner, a desk at another corner, and a small bookcase lying against the wall between them. Well-furnished, roomy, nice view from the window. . .

CRASH!

And it's newest addition was a trio of young adults (two men and a woman) standing amidst shards of broken glass and looking very proud of themselves. I suddenly remembered Itsuki's warning about unexpected visits from unmannerly espers. This was clearly what he had been talking about. Oh, what will become of my sanity?